Guess someone felt like playing "Mommy"

[MadMike]

A quick background for those of you who aren't already familiar with it: I have a 13-year-old son from a failed relationship with someone who was wonderful at first, but quickly turned into a psychotic bitch. I ended up kicking her out of my life, but she chose to leave our son's life as well, when he was only 2 1/2. Since then, she's been in and out of his life, making brief appearances whenever it suited her. Most of the time she promised to spend time with him, she'd show up hours late, or not at all. However, if she'd suddenly get the urge to play "Mommy", she'd just show up out of the blue and expect you to drop everything, and woe to you if you dared to already have plans.

I think that's what happened today. Normally, this would be one of the days he'd be at his grandma's (her mother's), so I guess she showed up over there wanting to spend time with him. But he's babysitting this summer for my best friend (who used to be her best friend until she got the shits of her like I did), so he wasn't there.

Next thing I know, she's calling over here wanting to talk to us about his babysitting job, and she had this really pissy tone to her voice. Neither of us actually talked to her. We're trying to get the house somewhat presentable for a cookout this weekend. I was mowing, and she was mopping, and neither of us exactly had a burning desire to speak to her.

I decided I should give my friend a heads-up, so I called over there, only to find out she had already called my son's cell phone. Not sure how she got the number, since none of us, including my son, want anything to do with her. I think his grandma was responsible for that, and we're going to have to have a talk with her, and possibly change his number.

My friend told me that he told her he was busy, and that my friend wasn't home from work yet so she couldn't talk to her, and then hung up on her. If it had been anyone else, I would have had a talk with him about being rude, but he doesn't owe her anything.

She didn't call here again, but I later found out she tried to call his cell a few more times.

I used to get upset about this kind of thing, but I'm more amused than anything else, for some reason.

[Kiwi]

My father did the same thing Mike, he would turn up usually around christmas with a present only for me (not for my brother) always late at night after I was asleep.

The last time my brother was 16 and my father didnt recognize him when he answered the door. He hadnt seen him in 5 years and realised quickly that he wasnt the little boy he used to terrorize and beat. They had some harsh words, then my Mum and my dad had some harsher words and the police were called, his mum came around the next day to berate my Mother and Brother and it was the first time at my ripe old age of 11 that I told someone to F**K OFF

If your son has smarts, which im sure he does, he will not be swayed buy his biological mom. It still really hurts me at times that I dont have a decent father but I would rather have NO father than the biological pathetic piece of scum that I do have. I would vote for the number change, if only for your sons piece of mind, along with a gentle but firm talk with Granny.

[Banrion]

Rather than change the number which would likely be a HUGE PITA for your son and everyone he knows, just program her number under the name DO NOT ANSWER and give that entry a silent/no-vibrate ringtone. He'll only know she called when the missed call shows up, and she will know that he is actively avoiding her.

[Misanthropical]

My husband's first wife use to be the same way. My husband raised his two oldest children by himself, because she only wanted to be around her children if she could get money out of it. Otherwise, she didn't give a shit about her children.

My husband tried to take her to court for child support, but back then the courts refused to believe that a man would be raising his own children and wouldn't go after dead beat mothers. She never paid a dime towards her children.

It kills me to see her youngest son (now a grown man) still trying to please his mother, even though she couldn't have cared less about him. If he had died when he was out fighting in the war, she would have been the first one in line with her hand out for his benefits. I would not be shocked if she was disappointed that he didn't die so she could get some $$$.

I do not understand women like this. I can't imagine deserting my children, the children I carried in my body, delivered into this world and nursed at my breast. I told my husband if he ever came home and I wasn't here, but the children were, even if it's just one of our children, I did not go willingly. I can not understand the mindset of deserting your own child/children. I would rather gnaw off my own arm than leave my children.

[MadMike]

Rather than change the number which would likely be a HUGE PITA for your son and everyone he knows, just program her number under the name DO NOT ANSWER and give that entry a silent/no-vibrate ringtone. He'll only know she called when the missed call shows up, and she will know that he is actively avoiding her.

That's actually a wonderful idea! I'll see if we wants to do it that way.

[Banrion]

It's not the first time I had to pass that trick on. My mother has a whole list of numbers in her DO NOT ANSWER entry. When she picked her phone number ending in 5678 she thought it was cute, but she quickly learned how completely uncreative deadbeats are when giving false information.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Rather than change the number which would likely be a HUGE PITA for your son and everyone he knows, just program her number under the name DO NOT ANSWER and give that entry a silent/no-vibrate ringtone. He'll only know she called when the missed call shows up, and she will know that he is actively avoiding her.

Interesting idea. I'll pass that one onto the b/f if his ex-wife ever gets hold of his current cellphone number (he had to have it changed b/c she'd leave endless hangup messages and flood the voicemail so nobody else could leave messages.)

Right now, only a handful of people have his cellphone number (it's the only way he can be reached as he doesn't have a landline currently.) His older son doesn't even have it (he suspects older son of giving his mom the last number) but the younger one does (he won't give it out, by penalty of death:lol:)

[Luna]

My "Dad" only came around when it suited him. When he did it was hours late and then my "mom" wouldn't let us go with him. She'd instruct us to turn off all the lights and pretend we didn't hear the ringing and knocking. I think she liked to see my siblings cry. They were 4,3 and 2. I was eight.

Misanthropical, I wish I knew the answer to how a mother could just not care. It would have saved me a few decades of grief. Even my mother-in-law tries to bring it up and says things like I've never known a mother to turn her back on her children, and then looks at me with a whoops face and clamps her mouth shut.

What kills me is after all those years, and a lot of shit that I need not go into here, my siblings adore her. I don't understand. She used them, and poisoned their minds against me after I spent my childhood raising them. They're all f*cked up now. I think I'm the only one who is mostly normal. I haven't seen them in a long time.

My "parents" have tried to make contact with me a couple of times. I've refused to have anything to do with them. My "dad" sent a card to my M-I-L's address early this year stating he missed me. Last time I saw him when I first met hubby, he asked if I were going to college b/c he didn't want to pay for it. Then he said hubby was one of my mother's boyfriends. Can everyone say "psycho"?

As a child, it was hard to turn away from your family. I'll bet your son, Mike, still wonders what could have been and although he probably doesn't show it - trust me - it eats at him. Just keep being a good father to him so he has someone always, when his mom pulls that crap. He's lucky to have you.