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View Full Version : *sigh* cutting the cord


Binky
07-02-2007, 11:10 PM
well so to speak.

I've finally had to stop trying to keep a friendship going. I've known this person for close to hmmm 18 years? and been friends with them basically the whole time. However, about 1-2 years ago I met my now Fiancée, and from then on things started going down hill, tho it was getting rocky about a year before that.

They stopped calling me, and while I didn't notice at first, it ended up with me always calling them. Then slowly it was me always organising things. Then it was lame excuses for them to leave early, or why they couldn't go out, like they had to clean the house (never been an issue for the last 16 years why is it now?) anyways. Basically we started to see each other once a week, then once a fortnight, then once a month, then every other month, then once every 6-7 months and so on. IF I didn't call them, I wouldn't hear from them at all. Now let me just note, that while this sounds like people just growing apart, in normal circumstances I can see that as the case, but where this "friendship" is concerned it wasn't. They were literally just jealous of the fact I had a partner and they didn't. Also, I was at uni and started hanging out a little with the friends I met there, instead of hanging out with my friend every day of the week.

This "friend" actually got pissed off at me for being sick and not being able to see them. an example would be when I was meant to go out, and went over to pick them up, but got really REALLY bad cramps and felt sick and had to turn around and go home, I was told basically "you can stuff going out, I'll just go out with someone else, I was waiting all day and looking forward to this and you've just gone and ruined it all for me" :eek::eek: the worst part is they actually think thats justified, and they were right to be annoyed I got sick and prevented them from going out.

So yes, I heard from another friend who's still in contact with them that they mentioned me, and basically said "I don't want to be friends with HER anymore" and if I ever call, or message on the off chance they will make some snide comment, like "OMG I can't believe she still trying to talk to me, how pathetic"

What did I do? I got a boyfriend and other friends. That is IT thats ALL I did, I did NOTHING else. OH right, except for occasionally being sick and unable to go out with them.

I just, I just ....yeah it's done and I'm not even going to bother with them. Its just sad that 18 year can be thrown away for something so damn petty and irrational.

Bright_Star
07-03-2007, 12:08 AM
Well...if they were that "flighty" then they weren't as much a friend as you thought they were.

blas
07-03-2007, 12:56 AM
Binky, I'll be your friend!

Seems like we're in the same boat with toxic friends.....

TNT
07-03-2007, 12:59 AM
I've finally had to stop trying to keep a friendship going.

Seems to be a lot of that going around today.

Binky
07-03-2007, 01:24 AM
Binky, I'll be your friend!
YAY I have a friend!
Seems like we're in the same boat with toxic friends.....
oooo what happen :( wouldn't mind hearing a few sotries

blas
07-03-2007, 01:32 AM
I don't want to steal your thread, I can just reference you to my "I think I need few friends" thread. Those two girls........words cannot describe. One has made me doubt my own self worth and values, and the other has made me a prisoner in my own apartment and scared of my own cell phone.

FuzzyKitten99
07-03-2007, 01:37 AM
Binky, I'll be your friend!

Seems like we're in the same boat with toxic friends.....

i'll join you guys, if that's ok?

blas
07-03-2007, 01:39 AM
We're all friends here :)

TNT
07-03-2007, 01:40 AM
i'll join you guys, if that's ok?

Can I get in, too?

Binky
07-03-2007, 01:42 AM
i'll join you guys, if that's ok?


Can I get in, too?

YAY MORE FRIENDS! your allllllll welcome!

FuzzyKitten99
07-03-2007, 01:48 AM
YAY MORE FRIENDS! your allllllll welcome!

Hey, we should all throw you a virtual Bachelorette party! I just happen to be a Pure Romance consultant... :roll: :roll:

TNT
07-03-2007, 01:49 AM
Hey, we should all throw you a virtual Bachelorette party! I just happen to be a Pure Romance consultant... :roll: :roll:

Bachelorette? I could be the alpha male.

Becks
07-03-2007, 02:19 AM
Can I be Blas' and Such's friends, too?

This is better than MySpace (btw, I'm on there...)

This "friend" actually got pissed off at me for being sick and not being able to see them. an example would be when I was meant to go out, and went over to pick them up, but got really REALLY bad cramps and felt sick and had to turn around and go home, I was told basically "you can stuff going out, I'll just go out with someone else, I was waiting all day and looking forward to this and you've just gone and ruined it all for me" :eek::eek: the worst part is they actually think thats justified, and they were right to be annoyed I got sick and prevented them from going out.

Wow, if I were going to hang out with a friend, and they got sick, I'd understand. Of course I'd be disappointed, but I would realize that it's just not meant to be that day.

People suck.

blas
07-03-2007, 02:27 AM
OF course u can Becks!

Rapscallion
07-03-2007, 05:45 AM
What did I do? I got a boyfriend and other friends.

Ah, but you got a boyfriend who wasn't him. I think he may have thought there was more to the friendship than you did, and then he started to react badly.

Rapscallion

Binky
07-03-2007, 06:52 AM
Ah, but you got a boyfriend who wasn't him. I think he may have thought there was more to the friendship than you did, and then he started to react badly.

Rapscallion

it's a girl :D sorry my bad I always use them to try and avoid someone figuring out the person. My bad again if I accidentally said he

powerboy
07-03-2007, 06:58 AM
I had a friend like that before.

We would always kick it. I called him up one time, because I had to go out of town that Friday, on which he wanted to kick it on. He started in on me, about how I am jealous because he has a new car, and that he can get any woman that he wants. Nooo, why would I be jealous. I actually got a few of your women's number, that you could not get. Once I got his sisters number:D, I should call her sometime. I only got that, because she needed a job, and if I heard anything about anywhere, to let her know. What it was, was that I stopped being a doormat, and he couldn't handle that. Also, I did have to go out of town that weekend for work.

Becks
07-03-2007, 03:58 PM
OF course u can Becks!

Woo hoo. :bounce: :D

BookstoreEscapee
07-04-2007, 02:36 AM
I once had a friend-since-1st-grade decide she hated me and start spreading rumors and crap because I got sick and couldn't go out on a double date with her...the difference? We were 12. I'm assuming your "friend" is a tad older than that... (Of course, that was the beginning of my serious self-doubt and shyness and depression issues, which 20 years later I still have issues with...but that's way more than this thread needs.)

I wanna be friends too! :D

hawkchick11
07-04-2007, 04:49 AM
Binky, I had the same problem with one of my friends, except it wasn't over a boyfriend, it was the fact I went away to college and made new friends. She complained that she didn't get to meet my friends... hello, they all live 5 hours away. When she did come up to my college, she was a bitch to them all.


Toxic friends suck, but you can learn and grow from your experiences, and I'm definately happier now than I was when I was "friends" with this girl.

Binky
07-05-2007, 02:37 AM
yay for lots more friends :D

anyways a little update but not much of one. I sent a letter of to this "friend"
I felt that I at least deserved answers for their behavior. It's not fair that I sit hear being told I'm not longer worthy of being their friend when there is no reason. Also, and yes I do know this is being silly, but I want closure. For me, I need to know the whys. IF they have a legitimate answer for behaving the way they have I'll accept it and move on, they don't want to be my friend FINE but I'm not going to let them have the last word, they tell me why or I'll just think them a coward. I know this person, they will care about me thinking that, and they will care what my opinion of them is.

Their one of those people that can't have people hating them, but will freely announce to the world that they hate you/someone else. If they know I dislike their behavior and think poorly of them I know they will attempt to fight it. Though, think they will go back to the same routine once they have made up some crap about me being in the wrong. I have no doubt they will be pulling stuff from their behind to make me look like the loss of friendship is my fault. Thats the only thing that will shit me, but I spose I should just breath and relax knowing they are the ONLY one that will think this, as her entire family is on my side (they are all sick of their behavior) I'm not in the wrong and never did anything to deserve the treatment I have recieved

but we'll see

Binky
07-06-2007, 06:09 AM
all sorted

we're talking but she now knows where I stand, and I have my answers (even if they were rather pathetic) oh well

I don't have to go out and see them every day. Besides, I have better friends now YOU GUYS! hehheheheheheheheheheheh

Caveat Emptor
07-06-2007, 10:47 AM
I want in! I want in! :D

I had a similar experience a few years ago. I got to be friends with a guy from work, then he got canned. I called him and was sympathetic. Then I get canned and.....nothing. I realized I was doing all the legwork in the "friendship." He only called me once, and THAT was the morning of 9/11!! I tried emailing him and....nothing. Well, I basically said "f**k him. If he wants to be a fair-weather friend and drop out at the drop of a hat, then he can go to hell!!" :mad: