"You don't know what you're missing!" (rant)

[MystyGlyttyr]

I hate that phrase more than anything else on this earth. Except maybe Hulk Hogan. I'd have to think about it.

It just amazes me how many people want to flip out and freak out when you admit there exists some monotonous task you have never performed by the age of (might as well be) 25. Especially coming from some of the people who have said it.

Mostly the time my brother told me I "don't know what you're missing" by being a virgin. Okay, this is coming from the guy who got his girlfriend pregnant, then went on a honeymoon, then married her. Oh, and it's also from my OLDER BROTHER. He would freak out when I'd wear a halter top in public, but he's trying to tell me that I'm missing out by not having sex?? Uh, HELLO, aren't you the guy who's supposed to growl and snarl at my prospective boyfriends for looking below my chin?

I've never tried coffee. I don't like it. I don't HAVE to try something to know I don't like it. I've never been shot and I'm pretty sure I know I don't like it. The taste of coffee is the same. The smell is enough to tell me I will not like the taste. Trying to push double cream triple mocha milk chocolate salty balls expresso at me and saying "Just try it!" will get you kicked.

The same thing goes for whatever bizarre foodstuff you might shove at me. If I think I might like it, I'll try it. If I can look at it or smell it and be revolted, I don't NEED to taste it to know I don't like it. If it looks like it ever existed in a swamp, I am not eating it.

Honestly, the statement itself is ridiculous in and of itself. Of COURSE I don't know what I'm missing. I've never HAD it, I've never DONE it. I don't know. I don't want to know! Hey, why don't you let a 250 pound guy pick you up and drop you on your head onto concrete?? Why don't you do a blind backflip off a ledge and trust the drug addict behind you to actually catch you?? You don't know what you're missing!

[Rapscallion]

Sounds like me and romance. I consciously think it's a spectator sport and try not to get involved, but this just seems to bring out the maternal instinct in people.

I showed someone the webpage for my company along with the group photo spread across the front, then went and pointed a few people out. The result? "Is she single?"

It wasn't intended for the person in question, and it wasn't aimed at the girl my glands once took a fancy to.

*sigh*

Rapscallion (by the way, I'm going to scare her when she's back from holiday)

[Dawnchaser]

Understandable...

I've never liked coffee either. The smell was always gross. I did try espresso, hoping to get used to it, so I could get the caffeine...but no. It was bad, and I knew it would be. A friend offered me $20 to drink a frappuchino...I couldn't do it. Nearly threw up.

Cigarettes I liked the smell of even less. Got so sick of people bugging me to try them, I did when I was 21. It was still nasty 10 cigarettes and no taste buds later. Never did that again.

So basically, I think you're right. I think 99% of the time when people try to push others into this type of thing, it's a mistake. Maybe later you'll change your mind and decide to try something new, maybe you won't. It's up to you, and there shouldn't be any sort of stigma attached either way. The things you named are not essential to having a great life, even though some people think they are. Not everyone has to be the same.

I say good for you for not giving in.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I actually like the smell of coffee (as long as it's not really bitter coffee - Starbucks is bitter). There's a Nestle plant in my town that makes coffee and when it's going to rain it smells like coffee all over town. I think it's an air pressure thing. I grew up with that smell and I love it. But I cannot drink the stuff! (Oddly, I do like some coffee-flavored things - ice cream if it includes some kind of chocolate, and mocha hot chocolate. But not chocolate-flavored coffee...)

[Dreamstalker]

Sounds like me and romance. I consciously think it's a spectator sport and try not to get involved
Me too. Not sure if it's the Asperger's of the wolf-ness, but people as a general rule have always confused me, and I'm not one for strange little rituals.

I've actually gotten that line from the bf (who's still in TX figuring out what the hell he wants to do with himself) when he found out I *gasp* am not really interested in sleeping with guys. Errr, whotothewhatnow? I do know what I'm missing and I don't really care (I have better things to occupy myself with at present). Shocking, I know :rolleyes:

[MadMike]

Count me in as another who despises that phrase. Usually it was when I told someone I didn't like whatever their favorite food was when I was a kid.

Along that line, one of the stupidest questions I was ever asked was, "Why don't you like it?"

Well, duh! Why don't people like a particular food? They don't like how it tastes, right? Are they looking for something a bit deeper like, "My parents were killed by a stalk of broccoli when I was little", or something like that?

[Princess-Snake]

Count me in as one of those people who hate that phrase. Some of my friends are very athletic. I'm not. 1 because I hate sports and 2 for medical reasons I cannot play sports or else I'll overheat and end up seeing my breakfast again. But is this good enough for them? Noooooo. They call me a wussy. All right, fine. I'll play your little games, then I'll mail you my medical bills after I collapse from dehydration (which is quite easy for me) and get transported to the hospital. Oh, and you can just send me the bill for new shoes. Sorry for getting half-digested eggs and sausages all over them.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Good point, Mad Mike! I hate tomatoes. Why? Um, they have a weird texture...'huh?' you say? well, what don't you like? Why?

and Princess, I imagine it'd be kind of hard to play most sports with your IV gear you have to carry around all the time, too? I'm not a big sports person. I'll shoot hoops with my cousins at a family party or whatever (we usually play HORSE) but a full-fledged game? Nah. I try to work out but I mostly stick to walking with a bit of running mixed in (and I just started so it's mostly walking). Plus running around in the heat gives me bad headaches, so I'd rather just not.

[Jester]

I have gotten this annoying phrase from:

--Friends trying to get me to drink coffee, despite the fact that I don't drink ANY caffeine, and HAVE tried coffee in the past.

--Guys hitting on me. I'm 37 years old, and have had plenty of time to ponder my sexuality. Do I object to homosexuality? Not at all. It just isn't for me. "How do you know you don't like it if you've never even tried it?" Cause I like girls. Strange, I know.

--Playing golf (other than video golf, which I am addicted to). Lots of my friends play golf. They love it. I have no interest in walking around for four hours swinging a crooked stick at a small white ball repeatedly. I don't know what I'm missing, and I don't care, either.

--Piercings. Actually, on this one I DO know what I'm missing, as as a bicyclist, I have been pierced MANY times, always unintentionally. That's enough for me, thank you very much.

--Fishing. I love fish. I love eating fish. I love being out on the water, on a boat, drinking beer. But the actual act of FISHING? I'd rather play golf with my boyfriend while drinking coffee. Maybe you spell relief R-O-L-A-I-D-S, but you spell boredom F--I-S-H-I-N-G.

--Organized Religion. I see how much (in my opinon) this particular activity has screwed up people's lives in every possible way, from the Crusades and the Inquisition to modern church officials messing with people's personal lives. I realize you're trying to save my immoral soul from eternal damnation, but if it's all the same to you, I'll deal with my metaphysical beliefs on my own, thank you very much.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm with you on the fishing, Jester...though I don't eat much fish, either. In general, I prefer my fish swimming...

[Princess-Snake]

Yeah, the IV is another reason I don't play sports. Hell, carrying it on my back ought to count as a sport on its own! Do you know how heavy that pump is? And the very few hours a day that I am off it, I would rather read or watch tv. Exercise and sunshine do not work well with me. Hence the reason that I am practically albino. Although, I might go to South Carolina later in August for some much needed vacation time and hit the beach. (After taking a bath in sunscreen)

[Jester]

Oh, I almost forgot the most annoying one.

HAVING CHILDREN!

Typical conversation goes something like this.....

THEM: "Do you have any kids?"
JESTER: "Nope."
THEM: "Do you want kids?"
JESTER: "Oh, I'm quite happy being an uncle. I get to give them back!" :devil:
THEM: "Oh, you say that now, but you really don't know what you're missing."

Ahem.

Most if not all of my friends have kids. I have taken care of many of said kids. Quite a few of them consider me their uncle. I like that role. They like having me around, as they feel they can talk to me in ways they don't feel comfortable talking to their parents. Their parents, in the meantime, like having me around in that role because they realize that not only do their kids feel like they can tell (and ask) me things they won't ask their own parents, but because in many ways, the parents feel I am a good role model and give good advice to said kids.

Do I feel like I would make a good father? Yes. Very few people have ever disagreed with this.

The fact that I love kids and would make a good father does not, however, mean that I automatically want to HAVE kids. I like my personal freedom. I like the fact that I am not responsible for anyone else's life. I like being able to up and go and live my life in the various (often hedonistic) ways I have decided to live it.

But what these people who tell me I don't know what I'm missing fail to realize is that I DO know what I am missing.

I am around kids often enough.
I actually rather like them.
At one point I wanted kids. That desire left me almost a decade ago. Hasn't come back since. It ISN'T coming back.
I know the joys and horrors that kids can bring. I know the plusses and minuses. I do get it.
I just don't want my own kids.

But of course to these people, not wanting to reproduce is bordering on criminal or mental disorder.

I find it very amusing that these very same people are the quickest to judge lifestyles they would have no part of. "What? You hang out at clothing optional bars? Where people are NAKED? Why would you do that?" Um, because I am a bohemian hedonist who is not overly caught up in what people think of me, and frankly, I am comfortable around people who are honest enough with themselves to be comfortable without fashionista trappings.

Now, to a lot of people that argument is all well and good, but that is still something they have no desire to do. Well, guess what Bubba? You can make all the arguments you want about the joys of parenthood, but that is still something I have no desire to do. None. What. So. Ever.

"You don't know what you're missing."

Yeah? Well, if you keep going on about it, I may not know what I'm missing, but I damn well know what I will be HITTING! Now stop moving as I adjust my aim......


Yes, parenthood is a wonderful glorious thing, but people who push it on me are just as bad as people who push anything else I don't want on me. And as such, will get a resounding "FUCK OFF" from me if they don't figure out when to cork their pieholes. :pissed:

[protege]

Since turning 31 last June, quite a few people have tried to remind me on all that I'm "missing out" by not having a girlfriend. What am I missing out on? Let's see, numero uno has to be the drama. Sorry, I have no need for that. I also like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want...provided that I'm not at work, of course.

After the last relationship some time ago, and all the drama/bullshit it required, I'm simply not in a hurry to do it again. I'll stick with my model cars and trains, thanks.

[XCashier]

I think 99% of the time when people try to push others into this type of thing, it's a mistake. Maybe later you'll change your mind and decide to try something new, maybe you won't. It's up to you, and there shouldn't be any sort of stigma attached either way. The things you named are not essential to having a great life, even though some people think they are. Not everyone has to be the same.
:yes: Well said!

I've also found that things you have to "acquire" a taste for usually aren't worth the time and bother. Coffee, cigarettes, beer (don't shoot me, Jester! I'm just stating my own opinion! :sorry: ) and some of the more obnoxious foodstuffs and activities known to man fall in that category, at least for me.

You like it, fine, you can have my share. If I want to try it, I will. I am an adult, perfectly capable of choosing what I want and don't want to try. I don't appreciate people trying to tease, cajole or scold me into trying what I do not wish to try.

[BusBus]

I get this with seafood, especially sushi. Apparently, I'm some sort of social mutant for not wishing to try sushi (it's cheap and plentiful in this town). I don't care for seafood, why would I want to eat it raw? I suspect that I do know what I am missing: three hours of running to the bathroom to 'clean the pipes'.

[Jester]

... beer (don't shoot me, Jester! I'm just stating my own opinion! :sorry: )...

I wouldn't shoot you. Beer isn't for everyone. I don't drink vodka...why should someone else drink beer if they don't like it? (For the record, while RW only drinks occasionally, she NEVER drinks beer. Can't stand the stuff.)

You like it, fine, you can have my share.

And since you mentioned it, yes, I WILL have your share, thank you very much! :cheers: :drink:

Apparently, I'm some sort of social mutant for not wishing to try sushi (it's cheap and plentiful in this town).

Cheap plentiful sushi? I think I'll take your share too! :D

[myswtghst]

I get this with seafood, especially sushi. Apparently, I'm some sort of social mutant for not wishing to try sushi (it's cheap and plentiful in this town).

I know the feeling. I finally was forced into trying it, and even after a glass of wine, I still wanted to gag. I'm a "texture eater" so the taste was great, but the texture just freaked me out.

[iradney]

I'll confess - if someone says they don't like something, I will ask why. I'm naturally nosey. But once I know, I'll just smugly say "Ooh great, more for me!" and carry on as always.
Me, I love sushi. But I cannot STAND fashion sandwiches. The mere thought of them makes my stomach churn. I think it's the combination of mayo and sushi rice...*shudder*

[Jester]

Fashion sandwiches? :confused:

[Aldous]

My old friends tried that "You don't know what you're missing" crap on me when they started drugs. "Hey man try this coke, you don't know what you're missing." Yes I do, a trip to the hospital because my nasal cavity exploded. I'm allergic to Codeine, which is basically legalized cocaine for medical reasons. I'm one step away from being allergic to chocolate, thank Cthulhu I'm not.

[iradney]

Fashion sandwiches? :confused:

Fashion sandwich is a sushi rice, fish, mayo and seaweed sushi item. It's disgusting...
Basically a triangle of pressed sushi rice, with the fish, seaweed and mayo, then another triangle of pressed sushi rice, repeat toppings, and finish with another slice of rice.

[CSR Kim]

I get this a lot because I am such a picky eater.

I don't eat sandwiches (with the exception of peanut butter or a grilled cheese). Ever. They just don't appeal to me. The one time I tried to eat a hamburger (just meat, cheese, and bun) I gagged. I also don't eat tomatoes, shrimp, peas, beans, cabbage, salads, most soups, most fruits (apples and oranges are about it for me)...the list goes on and on. I am very much a meat and potatoes person.

My mom used to try and bribe me to try new foods when I was younger. And when I'd still refuse, she'd say, "You don't know what you're missing!"

[ArenaBoy]

Being a vegetarian I get meat shoved in my face constantly. I've tried meat but I don't like it that much and I'm rather happy being a vegetarian.

Coffee: I don't drink it, I don't plan on it and I rarely need caffeine. I drink tea but that's it.

Pop: I've never drank root beer, coca cola, Pepsi, Mountain Dew, or any of it except for Vernors which is a rather strong ginger ale.

NFL, basketball, & baseball: As everyone on here knows, I'm a die hard soccer fanatic. I don't like the 3 sports I listed at ALL much to the dismay of my friends and my family (Except for my dad, he got into soccer and he supports Arsenal now.) I gave those 3 sports a shot and I understand the rules of them and guess what? I don't like them. I just hate people telling me to watch a "real" sport.

[blas]

I get it a lot from friends as well....

I'm a borderline alcoholic, but I have cut down a LOT in the past 6 months. I don't drink to get drunk anymore. I drink socially and in moderation, the way alcohol was meant to be drunk.

My friends tell me I don't know what I'm missing when I don't slam every beer I drink.

I had a problem with pot and cocaine when I was younger. To this day I still can't turn down a hit of smokie okie. When I try and be a good person and not do it, I get harrassed to do it anyway.

My friends tell me I have no clue what I'm missing because I won't date men over 25.

My friends tell me I don't know what I'm missing because I won't fool around with girls. Um, I actually did try that, and it wasn't for me.

[Jester]

Basically a triangle of pressed sushi rice, with the fish, seaweed and mayo, then another triangle of pressed sushi rice, repeat toppings, and finish with another slice of rice.

Sounds almost like something they have at the sushi restaurants here: sushi rice, tuna, salmon or another fish, and spicy mayo all built to resemble a traditional sandwich (though no seaweed on them). They are generally just called a "spicy tuna sandwich" or such. I like 'em occasionally, but they're not for everyone.

Being a vegetarian I get meat shoved in my face constantly. I've tried meat but I don't like it that much and I'm rather happy being a vegetarian.

My friend Pilot and his wife are both longtime vegetarians. Neither one has eaten meat since high school (both are in their mid-thirties). They don't do it for political or moral reasons, they just decided that they were not meat-eaters. They are also not very preachy about it--they'll sit there and watch you eat a rare steak and not give a hoot. So the only time it usually comes up is if you are cooking for them or deciding where to go to eat. (They aren't vegan, so it's not that tough.)

However (and I know I've told this story before)....a while back Mrs. Pilot started managing coffee shops, and she and Pilot discovered the joys of the coffee culture. And Pilot every so often would try to convince me to try this or that, despite the fact that I don't drink caffeine and despise coffee. And he would occasionally break out the "You don't know what you're missing" line on me, saying if I only tried it this way or that way, I would like it....forgetting, of course, that I don't drink caffeine.

Finally one day I had had enough. "Okay, Pilot, tell you what. The day you eat meat is the day I drink coffee."

And THAT, boys and girls, was the end of THAT! :D

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

I get ragged quite a bit because I hate hate HATE cinnamon.
Hate it.
Hate it like yellow snow.
Hate it like dirty underpants.
Hate it like Paris Hilton.
Hate it like dammit.
The smell, the taste, the...existence of it just makes me ill and completely grosses me out.
If I'm around it long enough to get the smell in my nose real good, I get headaches.
Yet people still say unthinking crap like: "But everybody else in the world likes it!"

Um, yeah. You know what? I taste just like cinnamon.
So BITE ME.

[Jester]

Calm down, DP. Relax. Have some cinnamon toast.

:runaway:

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

Jester, that's a waste of perfectly good bread.
:D

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Blas, girl, you need some new friends. Seriously.

Add me to the list of people who hate that phrase. Usually, it's applied about food. "Have some of this pie. You don't know what you're missing." It's pie! Yes, I do know what I'm missing! I'm missing pie! I dont' WANT any!

Geez, WHY is what I eat or don't eat so all fired important to some people? I really, truly do not get why other people's happiness or contentment is tied up in what OTHER people eat or don't! It really makes me crazy.

It's almost gotten to be a neurosis with me, I dont' care if I'm starving to death, if someone tries to force food on me, I WILL NOT EAT IT. I think because many of my relatives are practically OCD when it comes to trying to force feed people, so I have a huge chip on my shoulder about it. It actually interferes with my enjoyment of meals sometimes. I'm getting as OCD as they are, only in the opposite direction. I get repeatedly offered food that is sitting RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Wouldn't I get it myself if I wanted it? GAAAAH. "You want some of this? I'll get it for you. No? Are you sure? You're positive? Well, okay. You don't know what you're missing."

Tell you what, I know what I WISH I were missing. :banghead: