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Gravekeeper
08-03-2007, 03:57 PM
Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-

( ...none of you were at the Lion's game last night where you? I tried to skirt around the crowd and got completely broadside ambushed by two girls. >< )




I Wonder Why...

SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"

No, because if it was longer then 80 inches, it would be pashmina rope. So unless you have a neck like a bull, you should be happy with 80. Or did you have another purpose in mind? Because I'm no expert on fabric but I can warn you up front that no matter how much you think it matches the interior of the vehicle, its not going to make a good jeep winch. You might impress all the other girls at the trailer park with your fancy city folk clothes but its not going to pull a mobile home out of a ditch.



Irony

Me: "Good evening, <company>. Can I help you?"
SC: "Not unless you're <my first name>! <click>"

…..well, actually….




I Can Corrupt Anything

Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"

I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.



Morality Rate

( This is a paramedic calling to gain access to a building for a tenant. )

Me: "Ok, do you have a cell number or anything there?"
SC: "What are you talking about cell number?"
Me: "Is there any number I can page to the resident manager for you?
SC: "Well I don't know, is there? I'm calling you. This is the emergency number I'm talking too."
Me: "No, do *you* have a phone number? That's what I'm asking."
SC: "Yeah, yeah. For emergencies after hours it says to call the number I'm talking to you right now on."
Me: "No no, do *you* have a-"
SC: "Yeah, yeah, the number of the building of the person who's in there? No, no I don't have it no. I can likely get it for ya…"
Me: "No, do-"
SC: "Yeah!@"
Me: "Do *you* have a phone number that *we* can reach you at is what I'm asking."
SC: "Oh, yeah, sure. You don't have call display?"

….and this man is a paramedic? Jesus Caramel Walnut Cups ( With 33% less salt ). I'll just bleed to death thanks. It's probably faster and less painful.



Once Again, a Professional

( This is the same company's techs again, fyi )

Me: "Alright, I think I had two cases here for you. Just one sec, let me check. Yep, I have case for you."
SC: "Ok, what do you have?"
Me: "The first one is from-"
( I give him all the info )
Me: "The seco-"
SC: "Great, thanks <click>"

It seems you have ignored, either blissfully or willingly, a very key piece of information here. You may think yourself rather clever fleeing the scene like that. However, all that's going to happen now is I'm just going to keep paging you till you call back for the second one. So while clever, you didn't really think this cunning plan all the way through, did you? Didn't think so. Now grab a pen and a piece of paper, buttflap, I've got a message for you.




Argh!

SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"

Oh for crying out loud. What's wrong with you people? Go out on a limb. Take a chance for once in your life and try reading. I know these weird "sign" things and their bizarre alien markings are a complete enigma too you. But with a little help, a little effort and maybe a few reruns of Sesame Street, you too could join the ranks of people in this city that have a friggan clue and read a sign for once. I know they're out there. Do you know how I know they're out there? Because they've already left the parkade.




Linguistic Skills

Me: "Ok, what's his phone number?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "…er…ok that was a few too many numbers. What's the number again?"
SC: "xxx-xxx-xxxx"
Me: "Ok, so xxx-xxx-xxxx?"
SC: "Correcto!"

Don't start. I should warn you the only thing I ever learned of Spanish was "oh mi dios cuáles son usted que hace a mi perro?" which if I remember right translates to something like "Oh my God, what are you doing to my dog?!". I've yet to have an occasion to apply it to real life.



Just, No.
( Tech Support no less. )

SC: "Then I got ta thinkin'…"

Stop right there. That road leads only to failure. You are trifling with power far beyond your comprehension. You are not yet ready for all that thinking above a "damp carpet stain" level entails. With great power comes great responsibility and you are not yet ready to attempt ordering at McDonalds with any method beyond pointing at the pictures and grunting.



Day Two: Complete

Shabo
08-03-2007, 04:04 PM
Do you get calls every day for the parkade, or is this a new experience that people are having every day?

Becks
08-03-2007, 04:06 PM
( ...none of you were at the Lion's game last night where you? I tried to skirt around the crowd and got completely broadside ambushed by two girls. >< )

Not that anyone will believe me, but I was at work. Check out the times when I posted yesterday.

Irony

Me: "Good evening, <company>. Can I help you?"
SC: "Not unless you're <my first name>! <click>"

…..well, actually….

No, you're known to the world by your extended title.


SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"

Any chance some of these people are taking vacations out of the infamous area code?

BookstoreEscapee
08-03-2007, 04:26 PM
Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-

I noticed that one :lol:...I think it fits. You seem to have an unnatural ability to keep your patience...Grace under Fire, so to speak :)

I Can Corrupt Anything

Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"

I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.

Oh, dog, my childhood memories are now changed forever...:cry:

wagegoth
08-03-2007, 06:29 PM
The parkade!

Once, on a Saturday, I got a call from a woman who had left her car in the underground parking garage, and came back to find it closed. There were numerous problems with this call:

1. We only lease space in the building; we don't own it or run the garage. (She must have called every business listed on the sign outside the building, and I was the only one that answered.)

2. The garage sign clearly stated that it closed at 1:00pm on Saturday. She called me at 3:00 pm.

3. The garage charges by the hour. There is a 5-story parking structure, 100-feet away, that is free on Saturdays.

4. There was a security guard in the lobby, but she didn't bother to knock, ring the bell, or shake the doors.

I contacted the emergency number for building management, explained the situation, and went on with my work.

She calls me again. I explain, again, that we don't own the building, I don't park in the garage so I don't have a pass that will open the gate (besides, if I did, she wouldn't be paying for her parking, and I could be implicated for theft), and all she can do is wait for building management.

Thankfully, that was the last time she called.

powerboy
08-03-2007, 06:51 PM
I once got my vehicle stuck in a parking garage. It was not my fault. I had 2 job interviews on the same day, about 2 hours apart. I decided to just go ahead and park in it. When I came back from the second interview, there was a sign stating that because of a family emergency. That the garage was closed. I had another interview, that I had to get too within an hour. The sign stated that a guard will be back on, in about 3 hours later. Someone was already calling the emergency numbers on the side of the building. I truly hope that, the one guard, got in trouble for what he did.

FenigDurak
08-03-2007, 07:07 PM
GK, how did you get a picture of my cat? ;)

bigjimaz
08-03-2007, 09:26 PM
Me: "Good evening, <company name>"
SC: "Where's Cam!?!"

I don't know. Probably somewhere going down on Waldo.

I got the nickname 'Waldo' when I was in the second grade. (from a cartoon walrus because even back then I was 'supersized')

Now if only the Cam you speak of had a surname of Diaz and not a given name of James. :devil:

Andara Bledin
08-04-2007, 12:18 AM
Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-

I liked it the first time, and I still like it now. :)

^-.-^

reformedwaitress
08-04-2007, 09:43 PM
GK, how did you get a picture of my cat? ;)

Wait, then......if that's your cat....when did you steal MY cat? Cause that's my baby!:p

Aldous
08-04-2007, 10:46 PM
Why did you want to learn "Oh my god, what are you doing to my dog?" In spanish? Do you have the Spanish Inquistion where you live, and they are anti-dog or something like that? Or are you like me, and learn things for the fun of it. Ich habe eine stinktier wohnen in meine hose. Which translates into "I have a skunk living in my pants." Theres that and "Ich wille Opfele dir zum Antique Keiserzeik!!!" Which is "I will sacrifce you to the Roman Empire!!!"

Andara Bledin
08-04-2007, 11:54 PM
I want to learn the phrase, "My hovercraft is full of eels" in as many languages as possible...

^-.-^

Rahmota
08-05-2007, 05:55 AM
Umm forgive me for sounding stupid but Car Parking Garages close? Is that what you're talking about?

I know I dont go to the city that much and experience the joys of parking garages but the ones I have encountered either have staff on duty 24/7 or they put the gates up and you can just drive out at a certain time of night until a certain time of the morning no charge.

So to be honest if I ever encountered a parking garage that closed and wouldnt let you get your own property out I'd probably be a bit upset as well, either that or not park there and find another parking garage that didnt treat people like that.

Disclaimer: I have only been physically in 7 parking garages in my entire life. 1 in seattle, 1 in Columbus, 2 in Dayton, and 3 in Cincinnati. Everywhere else I have parked has been a free parking lot. Yes I do live out in the boonies, I like it like that.

CancelMyService
08-05-2007, 06:19 AM
So to be honest if I ever encountered a parking garage that closed and wouldnt let you get your own property out I'd probably be a bit upset as well, either that or not park there and find another parking garage that didnt treat people like that.



Fair enough, but said parking garages have signs informing of the hours they close so you have the option of not parking there. Seems to be the logical conclusion rather than yelling at someone on the phone when the garage in fact closes.

Rahmota
08-05-2007, 07:29 AM
Well yes there is that CMS. One reason whyh I said if I knew the place was one that treated people like that then I would move to another place and not park there. Actually I would look for a regular parking space/lot first then only go to a parking garage if I had to do so.

Sliceanddice
08-05-2007, 08:58 AM
I Wonder Why...

SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"

No, because if it was longer then 80 inches, it would be pashmina rope. So unless you have a neck like a bull, you should be happy with 80. Or did you have another purpose in mind? Because I'm no expert on fabric but I can warn you up front that no matter how much you think it matches the interior of the vehicle, its not going to make a good jeep winch. You might impress all the other girls at the trailer park with your fancy city folk clothes but its not going to pull a mobile home out of a ditch.



i complete forgot about this until right now-
Maybe she did want to use it as a rope, im sure it would be lot nicer than their other ones, and probably leave alot less of a noticible mark than them as well. Hell a womans got be eventive some times!!
(Yes im talking about autoerotic especitation, maybe just erotic especitation... maybe she likes choking her 'dates')

Shironu-Akaineko
08-05-2007, 10:11 AM
(Yes im talking about autoerotic especitation, maybe just erotic especitation... maybe she likes choking her 'dates')

Asphyxiation?

Gravekeeper
08-05-2007, 12:16 PM
I know I dont go to the city that much and experience the joys of parking garages but the ones I have encountered either have staff on duty 24/7 or they put the gates up and you can just drive out at a certain time of night until a certain time of the morning no charge.



Most of the ones downtown here close around 11-12. We have a high rate of smash and grabs with vehicles here. Any parkade that stayed open afterhours..... -.-

Andara Bledin
08-05-2007, 12:17 PM
Well yes there is that CMS. One reason whyh I said if I knew the place was one that treated people like that then I would move to another place and not park there. Actually I would look for a regular parking space/lot first then only go to a parking garage if I had to do so.

Generally speaking, the places that have parking structures like this are downtown areas that have very heavy traffic in the day and afternoon, but almost no traffic in the evening.

If you get really lucky or you have the time, you might find a spot on the street, although I would suspect most of those would be metered, and more trouble than a garage if you were staying late.

So you are left with either finding a garage that is open late enough for you to not have to worry, or to manage to remember that you need to move your car to another spot before the garage closes.

^-.-^

cinema guy
08-05-2007, 12:25 PM
Parkade is a word I've never heard until I read GK's posts.

I envision a parkade as a rectancle constructed of roughly hewn logs, with John Wayne and his cowboy pals protecting the enclosed cars from marauding 'injuns'. Of course cowboys need their whiskey and 'wimen', so at sundown they lock the gates and head for the saloon.

onkko
08-05-2007, 12:50 PM
I want to learn the phrase, "My hovercraft is full of eels" in as many languages as possible...

^-.-^

Minun ilmatyynyalukseni on täynnä ankeriaita.

Theres finnish version to you :)

Sliceanddice
08-05-2007, 01:22 PM
Asphyxiation?

yeah cant spell

Gravekeeper
08-05-2007, 01:23 PM
Parkade is a Canadian word me thinks. I don' t think anyone else uses it. -.-

Sliceanddice
08-05-2007, 01:25 PM
gk i think your funny bacon post made me deathly ill

Shengirl
08-05-2007, 03:59 PM
This parkade nonsense is why I avoid driving into the city whenever possible. As someone from the suburbs, I hate paying for parking, and I hate driving in the city. Thank god for public transportation! The only exception is when I go to Otakon; then the Light Rail stops running before I would need it to. But then the lots around the convention center understand this and stay open suuuuper late.

Kara
08-05-2007, 04:55 PM
Apparently I've been typo christened "Gracekeeper". -.-


*snort* Yeah, right.


SC: "Do you have any pashmina scarf's that are longer then 80 inches?"


Maybe it's a gift for Godzilla.


Didn't think so. Now grab a pen and a piece of paper, buttflap, I've got a message for you.


You actually called him back? You're a better person than I am. I figure if you're too much of a moron to listen to all the vital information, you can call back when you realize your mistake. That's when I leave the memo "called customer back, no response."

SC: "Yeah, my car's stuck in the parkade!"


Remember that idea I had several parkade stories back about the after-hours ninjas? You should seriously call the company and suggest that.


SC: "Then I got ta thinkin'…"


Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy there, turbo. Let's not do anything foolish...

Rahmota
08-05-2007, 08:25 PM
Ahh thank you for the info about the garages GK. The only ones I have dealt with where :Seattle getting out of the airport garage and that was mainly my friend's issue I was just along for the ride. Cincinnati and Dayton various hospital garages and the one in columbus was for the origins convention so it didnt last all night anyhow. So the hospital garages have cameras and security patrols goign through them so I guess they feel its safer. I dunno.

As for going into the city I generally try and avoid it unless I have absolutely no other options. And I mean none. I dont even like goign into the suburbs very much.

And actually yeah that rope idea could be interesting.......

Mistress of Foxes
08-05-2007, 10:52 PM
I want to learn the phrase, "My hovercraft is full of eels" in as many languages as possible...

^-.-^

"Min hovercraft er fuld af ål" is the Danish version... I looked it up, we have no word for hovercraft, so we use the English word.

I could probably come up with the German, too, but that would have to be when it's not one in the morning here ;)

Andara Bledin
08-07-2007, 09:26 PM
Minun ilmatyynyalukseni on täynnä ankeriaita.

Theres finnish version to you :)

Since I'm 1/4 Finn, that is beyond sweet.

... now to go and get laughed at by real Finns when I try to pronouce it... *snicker*

"Min hovercraft er fuld af ål" is the Danish version... I looked it up, we have no word for hovercraft, so we use the English word.

Well, I figure there aren't a lot of languages that have a word for hovercraft. I figure if they don't have rules for the importation of foreign words, then some variant of "floating craft" or "craft that floats" or some such would work.

[edit to add]

Heh... I should get you guys to make wave files of how to say those, too... that would be cool.

^-.-^

Aldous
08-07-2007, 09:52 PM
Auf Deutsch!!!
Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist von den Aalen voll

Enjoy that. :lol: