View Full Version : An Assignment For You All!
kerrisan
08-07-2006, 10:11 PM
This was in our Sunday paper:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v448/Kerrisan/pearls.jpg
I thought it was hilarious, but I don't want the hilarity to stop there!
Let's write some more chapter titles/chapters for this children's book. This will be hilarious and entertaining!
Chapter 3: "Why Daddy Started Drinking"
Stretch your creative muscles and post some new chapter titles (and, if you're really creative, some chapter stories)!
PuckishOne
08-07-2006, 10:22 PM
Chapter 4: Why Mommy Takes So Many "Vitamins" and Pays Lots of Attention to The Pool Man
Great cartoon! Right in line with my own occasionally-beyond-twisted sense of humor. Thanks for sharing. :D
Spiffy McMoron
08-07-2006, 10:48 PM
Aw, homework! This class sucks...:p
Chapter 5: Why You Should Always Knock on Closed Doors
Chapter 6: How to Enure Your Siblings Never Become Hippies
Subchapter I: Buying an SUV
Subchapter II: Proper Hygiene
Subchapter III: Eating Large Amounts of Red Meat and Beef Jerky
Subchapter IV: Phish Sucks, and Marijuana is Overrated
Subchapter V: Hanging Out with Non-Sissy Men-Lumberjacks, Pirates, and Coal Miners!
One-Fang
08-07-2006, 10:58 PM
Chapter 7: Screaming gets you what you want.
Chapter 8: If nobody saw it, you didn't do it.
kerrisan
08-07-2006, 11:01 PM
Right in line with my own occasionally-beyond-twisted sense of humor.
Mine too . . . and I'm gonna be a 2nd grade teacher! :roll:
I love these, guys! Keep it up!
Chapter 9: Nothing is Unbreakable!
chapter 10: how to use crying to get what you want (will only work for cute little girls)
PuckishOne
08-07-2006, 11:08 PM
Chapter 6: How to Ensure Your Siblings Never Become Hippies
Subchapter I: Buying an SUV
Subchapter II: Proper Hygiene
Subchapter III: Eating Large Amounts of Red Meat and Beef Jerky
Subchapter IV: Phish Sucks, and Marijuana is Overrated
Subchapter V: Hanging Out with Non-Sissy Men-Lumberjacks, Pirates, and Train Drivers!
Subchapter VI: "Artist" Is Only A Job Title if You Are Being Paid Regularly to Paint, Write or Draw
Subchapter VII: Tommy Chong is Not A Folk Hero
Subchapter VIII: Wearing Patchouli Oil Makes People Vomit on Your $90 Birkenstocks
One-Fang
08-07-2006, 11:09 PM
Chapter 11: What's in his pants isn't the same as what's in yours - an exploratory investigation
Crosshair
08-07-2006, 11:38 PM
Chapter 9: Distilling 101
Chapter 10: Beer Bong Basics
Chapter 11: Declaring bankruptcy while keeping all your stuff.
stormtreader
08-08-2006, 08:32 AM
Chapter 12: Mommys Magic Purse
Chapter 13: "I want" and proper circular breathing techniques
Chapter 11: What's in his pants isn't the same as what's in yours - an exploratory investigation
One Fang you make reading while drinking dangerous. There's coffee all over my monitor now.
toolbert
08-08-2006, 05:12 PM
Chapter 14: Embezzlement is just another word for "Brand New Pony"
kerrisan
08-08-2006, 05:26 PM
Chapter 11: What's in his pants isn't the same as what's in yours - an exploratory investigation
Frighteningly enough, I had to read a similar book for my Children's Lit class.
Google "It's Perfectly Normal Robie H. Harris" and you'll see what I mean. Barnesandnoble.com may give you even more info.
I'm really not AGAINST the book . . . I just wouldn't read it to my students and/or use it as the sole tool for teaching my kids about sex. I may just recommend it to a student's parent if the subject comes up in a conference.
Lace Neil Singer
08-08-2006, 10:41 PM
Chapter 15: Why Mr Fork And Ms Electric Socket Can't Be Friends.
Chapter 16: 10 Ways To Torment Your Little Brother.
Chapter 17a: Stealing From Mummy's Purse; Concealment And Theft.
Chapter 17b: Appropiation Of Blame: How To Make Little Brother Into A Scapegoat.
Chapter 18: Swearing; If Mummy Swears, You Can Too.
Acolyte
08-08-2006, 11:10 PM
Chapter 19: Pop goes the poodle.
Primer
08-08-2006, 11:39 PM
Chapter 20: Microwaving Hamsters for Fun and Profit
kerrisan
08-08-2006, 11:54 PM
Hey Acolyte, does your sig refer to Fullmetal Alchemist or Evangelion? Or neither? Or . . . both? :eek:
Becks
08-09-2006, 12:40 AM
Chapter 21 "Flashing People Unexpectedly In The Middle of Your Parents' Party: A How-To Guide"
ZumZum
08-09-2006, 03:27 AM
Chapter 22: "When you finally realize the world revolves around me."
protege
08-09-2006, 05:07 AM
Chapter 23: Riced-out Economy Cars Are Not Fast!
:D
Crosshair
08-09-2006, 07:20 AM
Chapter 15: Why Mr Fork And Ms Electric Socket Can't Be Friends.
Shouldn't it be, "Chapter 15: Mr Fork And Ms Electric Socket Can Be Friends."
/:angel:
Lace Neil Singer
08-09-2006, 10:58 AM
Nope; that's covered in 10 Ways To Torment Your Little Brother. :devil:
kerrisan
08-09-2006, 10:28 PM
Chapter 24: Cool Places To Wipe Your Nose
Lace Neil Singer
08-09-2006, 11:17 PM
Chapter 25: Do Hamsters Fly?
PuckishOne
08-09-2006, 11:34 PM
Chapter 26: Hamsters Not Only Don't Fly, But Also Don't Swim
kerrisan
08-10-2006, 12:29 AM
Chapter 27: How To Become An Only Child
Sphinx
08-10-2006, 02:53 AM
Chapter 28: Can Hamsters Survive the Washing Machine
(true story, PM me if anyone wants to hear it!!)
Lace Neil Singer
08-10-2006, 12:37 PM
Chapter 29: How To Get A Brother Or Sister; Hiding Mummy's Pills And Sticking Needles In Daddy's Condoms.
Chapter 30: Can Hamsters Rollerskate?
Spiffy McMoron
08-11-2006, 12:29 AM
Chapter 31: The Care Bears Attacking Pretty Baby Deers-The Pop-Up Book Edition
Chapter 32: Let's Draw Betty and Veronica With No Clothes On
Chapter 33: The Two Different Kinds of Accidents That Happen When Teens Borrow the Car (with colour photographs)
Chapter 34: Underage Drinking: The How-To Manual
kerrisan
08-11-2006, 12:54 AM
Chapter 35: You Were An Accident
stormtreader
08-11-2006, 08:36 AM
Chapter 36: Its fun to share
Part 1: Daddys magic powder
Part 2: Mummys 'special' toys and party balloons
Lace Neil Singer
08-11-2006, 11:24 AM
Chapter 37: Let's Play With Daddy's Guns.
kerrisan
08-11-2006, 05:02 PM
Chapter 38: Rodney Rottweiler and Timmy Tabby Should Be Friends!
Chapter 39: Hiding the Evidence - A Followup on Chapter 38
Chapter 40: The Real Reason Your Dog, Cat, Hamster or Goldfish Ran Away.
Lace Neil Singer
08-11-2006, 07:49 PM
Chapter 41: How To Cheat At Party Games
Chapter 42: Childhood Popularity or How To Get Invites
Chapter 43: Introducing Ants To The Sun; Your First Magnifying Glass
Retail's Bitch
08-11-2006, 08:13 PM
Chapter 24: Cool Places To Wipe Your Nose
Subsection 1.1 "Finding places to wipe the boogers."
Chapter 44: Stranded on a desert island? How to cook the survivors for fun and profit.
Tanasi
08-11-2006, 08:23 PM
Chapter 45: Mommy What's Daddy doing with that shovel and pistol?:devil:
Chapter 46: Why the clear liquid in the Mason jar makes you feel funny.
PuckishOne
08-11-2006, 08:42 PM
Chapter 46: Why the clear liquid in the Mason jar makes you feel funny.
Subchapter I: Why Daddy's 'Scientific Equipment' Is Not A Toy
South Texan
08-11-2006, 09:04 PM
Chapter 47: The REAL reason Daddy was lying on top of Mommy when you walked into their room in the middle of the night.
prerequisite reading:
Chapter 5: Why You Should Always Knock on Closed Doors
and
Chapter 11: What's in his pants isn't the same as what's in yours - an exploratory investigation
kerrisan
08-11-2006, 09:17 PM
Chapter 48: Having Fun While Keeping a Good Reputation - A High School Guide
Lace Neil Singer
08-11-2006, 09:40 PM
Chapter 49: Finding Mummy In Bed With The Milkman; How To Get Sweets And Money For Free
Chapter 50: 10 Nasty Rumours To Spread About People You Hate
SengaKitty
08-11-2006, 11:53 PM
Chapter 51: How to tell Mommy and Daddy why you've gotten so fat
Prerequisite reading: Chapter 33: Two different kinds of accidents that happen when teens borrow the car
kerrisan
08-11-2006, 11:57 PM
Chapter 52: When Mommy and Daddy Punish You - Welcome to Your First Voodoo Lesson
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