Stress stress and more stress

[Mighty Girl]

My daughter, aka the most adorable thing on the planet, has to go to a specialist next week.

I am freaking out. A lot.

She's been super healthy- didn't get her first cold until she was almost two. (Made everybody wash their hands before touching her for her first year of life). Then, it all changed. In the past year, she's had strep, two ear infections, two rounds with the flu- one of which landed her in the hospital for 4 days, a couple of colds, and most recently two uti's. Now, we get to take her to a pediatric urologist. And they might want to do tests. Uncomfortable tests that will rip my heart out all over again.

And...for some reason, when I talk to fellow moms, all they do is tell me their horror stories and I get the shit scared out of me even worse.

I've been gathering her medical records from the dr. and the hospital to take to the appt. with us. She is NOT going to be happy. That poor kid has taken more medicine in the past year than I have in the past five years. All of this combined with potty training, and chronic constipation, and oh did I mention that I'm nervous naturally- on a good day with nothing wrong.

Well, I did manage to convince my dr. that I need meds and I need them NOW. The zoloft/xanax combo is helping.

I can't wait until this stupid appt. is over.

[Kiwi]

Good luck with the specialist! Im sure she will be fine, it sucks when children are sick! You feel so helpless and frustrated and yet you have to appear calm and together for them at the same time.

I spent alot of my childhood in hospitals and im healthy as an ox today, Ive had around 13 operations, 10 for my ears I had otitus media as a child (chronic ear infections) and have had so many antibiotics that 3 main ones just dont work anymore. My ear drums are tilted so water can get in but can drain out. I also have/had renal problems so I think I know the tests your talking about, and yes they are horrible.

A few things my mother and I learnt from our hospital visits that you might find helpful. Stand up for yourself and your daughter, if doctors or nurses get patronizing with you, or her, let them know your not going to take that.

The amount of times I was given medication I didnt need becuase they wouldnt listen was so frustrating, listen to your daughter (unless its fear talking) if she says something, shes not going to have a reason to lie. You dont have to be pushy or rude about it, but you DO have a RIGHT to not be a push over.

ASK QUESTIONS, the more you know about whats wrong, the better, dont be afraid to grill them on everything, best course of treatment, how best to prevent infections, what the doctors experiance has been in the past, etc The only dumb question is the one your too afraid to ask.

Ask if there are any support groups for the problem your daughter has, Im a member of Kidney Kids, a source of SO MUCH support for my mother and me, I got to talk and play with kids with the same condition, my mum got to vent and cry and have people understand. Not just share the horror stories.

Take something for your daughter to read/do while shes waiting, the shared hospital toys are usually nasty and germ ridden. Plus it will help her from feeling too stressed. Some tests can be painful so a calmer child will cope better. Make sure shes not hungry or thirsty, to hot or cold. Hospital is a scary place for children (and their parents).

There are things she can do, make SURE shes not getting run down, stress, tiredness, lack of proper hydration and too much sugar always helped infections get a better hold on me, lots of fresh fruit and veges to build up her immune system, lots of water.

If you want to talk more, or just vent feel free to contact me on PM and we can talk on msn.

GOOD LUCK for tomorrow, my thoughts will be with you and her.

[digilight]

Sorry to hear about your daughter, I can totally relate. I am A+ (bloodtype) while my wife is O-, for those of you who don't know my positive bloodtype is usually what will be passed on to the child. In utero the childs + blood will get attacked by the - so when the child is born you can end up with a variety of problems. But the problem we encountered was Jaundice, extreme Jaundice. Both of our children had to be readmited to the hospital within 24 hours of being released. My son went under the Bili-lights (Ultra Violet Lights) to cause the Bilirubin to breakdown. My daughter was even worse, she had to have a complete blood replacement. Our saving grace was that my best friends wife is a Nurse in the NICU (NeoNatal Intesive Care Unit) and she helped us understand what was going on (this goes along with the support group mentality that Kiwi was talking about). FYI they are both doing great now with absolutly no complications.

I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.

[LostMyMind]

Sick kids are normal. You got to let the immune system build up or it will hurt them in the long run. The immune system needs something to fight in order to get stronger, otherwise a strong germ/virus will come along and really make them sick. I think the germ panic in this country has hurt us in the long run. Don't it seem that more stronger germs are showing up now that we've killed off all the weak ones?

(clarification) I'm not talking about serious problems like strep or measles. But colds, flu, and the like are being killed off by medicine instead of letting the immune system defense build up to fight off the next attack.

But then again, I think kids are being overly protected now days. When I was a kid, falling off a bike without wearing pad/helmet was the norm. So was falling out of trees, getting cut up by falling on a rock, etc... I wonder what happen that kids are more fragile than we were?

[Mighty Girl]

So was falling out of trees, getting cut up by falling on a rock, etc... I wonder what happen that kids are more fragile than we were?

In many ways I agree with you. When I was a kid, the playgrounds had cement- not foam, shredded tires or wood chips to break our falls. Unfortunately, I think a lot of kids had more broken bones back then as a result. I do understand that all kids have to build up immunity, but it just breaks my heart to see her sick and upset and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

**Side note- climbing trees was how my mom got blood poisoning when she was a kid and had to be rushed to the hospital. She fell, and one of the branches scratched her on the way down. Withing a few hours or so, she had a black line running up her leg and my grandpa recognized it immediately. So- while that is going off on a tangent (sorry!!!) I wanted to mention that, just in case it helps anybody.

[sportsmom]

I understand how difficult it is when your formerly healthy child starts needing to see various doctors and visit hospitals. We went through something similar with our oldest dd when she was 5 and it is not an experience I would wish on others.

I do think Kiwi had some very good suggestions and I woud only really add that a notebook can be a valuble tool in dealing with it all. Take it to all your appts. and take notes as the doctor talks to you, if he doesn't like that, it's time to find a new doc. You should also write down any questons you have in it so you don't forget them.

Hopefully they can get everything in order quickly for her.