PDA

View Full Version : 10 years ago today...


MadMike
08-15-2006, 05:45 PM
Some of the older members may remember some of the horror stories I posted about my evil ex. Basically, she was abusive, lazy, irresponsible, and a deadbeat parent (yes, there are actually a few women like that, and lucky me, I got mixed up with one of them.)

I observe the date she left as my own personal "Independance Day." That day was ten years ago today, and I remember it like it was yesterday. We were together a little over six years, which turned out to be about five years too long. I actually got fed up with her bullshit after about half that, and we were ready to go our separate ways then, but she turned out to be pregnant with our son, so we ended up staying together. Not that things got any better once he was born, though.

During the last year, things went from bad to worse, and she'd often vanish for hours or even days at a time, and when she was around, she was simply impossible to deal with. I kicked her out a few times, but being the too-nice idiot I am, I ended up letting her come back every time, except for the last time. It was one night, after a really horrible fight. We had both finally calmed down, and I starting thinking to myself, "What the fuck am I doing?" I finally told her that she needed to start looking for her own place, but didn't really give her any kind of deadline, and almost forgot about it, actually.

On this day, ten years ago, late at night, she told me she was going to visit some friends and stay there for a few days. I was fine with that, because I'd get some much-needed time away from her, and get to de-stress a bit. A couple days later, she called me from another state and told me she wasn't coming back. Now, a year ago, I probably would have been devastated, but after all the bullshit that had been building up, the only thing I felt was relief. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me, and that I had a chance to finally get my life together.

Now, ten years later, I almost don't recognize myself from back then. I see myself in pictures from back then, and I looked like I had been run thru the mill. I'm 37 now, and I think I actually look younger now than I did in some of those pictures. In fact, just a few nights ago, I was talking to some guy at a bar, and he asked me, "What are you? 25? 26?" I could have kissed him, but I don't swing that way. ;) People who knew me back then even tell me I look so much better. I have some good friends, some of which used to be her friends, but like me, want nothing to do with her anymore. I have a good job, a nice house, and a family.

She, on the other hand, did not fare so well. She's been in and out of jail more times than I remember, has been diagnosed with mental disorders that she refuses to stay on medication for, can't hold down a job, and has lost the respect of her former friends and family, including our son who is now old enough to understand just what she's all about. In fact, about a month ago, he told me that "she never did anything for me, except give birth to me."

I feel like going out and celebrating. Sucks that it's a weekday. I'm sure my friends all have to work anyway. If any of our members can catch the CS bus out to my neck of the woods, we'll have a beer together. :D

PuckishOne
08-15-2006, 05:58 PM
Will a virtual beer suffice? :cheers: Good for you, Mike.

Misanthropical
08-15-2006, 06:08 PM
I don't live that far from you, you know. I'm glad you got away from her, she sounds horrid.

If you want a beer, you will have to come out from under the couch. I can't really be pushing beers under there in front of my children you know. :p

kerrisan
08-15-2006, 06:15 PM
You should celebrate! Maybe this weekend with your son. :)
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so good job!

RavenStarr
08-15-2006, 06:48 PM
Mike I think this is an excellent reason to celebrate. I do remember you posting about your evil ex and just going :eek: :confused: . You and your son were able to overcome and survive this, coming out on top, stronger than before.

Rapscallion
08-15-2006, 07:03 PM
Good to hear your son takes after you!

I'll raise a glass of lemonade in celebration.

Rapscallion

MadMike
08-15-2006, 07:14 PM
Oh, I forgot to mention, my son was shocked to find out she's actually younger than I am. He told me he thought she was well into her 40s.

She's really only 33. However, I wouldn't be surprised if there's some gray underneath that god-awful dye job she's sporting these days.

RavenStarr
08-15-2006, 07:40 PM
There's a saying Anybody can be a Father, but it takes a real man to be a Dad. I think same holds true that anybody can be a Mother, but it takes a real woman to be a Mom.

DGoddessChardonnay
08-16-2006, 08:24 PM
I remember hearing some of those tales . . . truly horrifying:eek:

The only good thing that came out of that nightmare of a relationship for you was your son. Thank goodness he isn't scarred by what his mom has put both of you through.

Your life now is a world apart from what it was. You've weathered the storm and came through okay. I think that's what life is about: suriviving.

Have a beer on me.:cheers:

NightAngel
08-16-2006, 08:27 PM
Good on you and your boy. :D

And yes, the title "Mom" has to be earned just as much as "Dad".
Almost anyone can provide the parts required to make a child- being a parent takes work.

NightWolf
08-16-2006, 08:59 PM
:cheers:

for the celebration!!

And

:salute:

for knowing when something wasn't healthy for you and your family, and not only that, but not keeping the relationship going to hurt your son even more later.

Kiwi
08-16-2006, 10:49 PM
well done on leaving that loser, it takes ALOT of guts to do that, especially with a child

my mum did the same thing and saved me and my brothers life the day she finally chased my father out of the house with a frying pan. I may have a complicated relationship with her but I LOVE and ADMIRE her for getting up the courage and guts to put her and her childrens lives first.

three cheers for MAD MIKE!!! Hip Hip

XCashier
08-16-2006, 11:13 PM
:cheers: Congratulations on your ten year sanity anniversary!

It does indeed take a lot to be a proper parent. And you seem to have succeeded quite admirably. :)

morgana
08-17-2006, 05:03 PM
:cheers: Congratulations on your ten year sanity anniversary!

It does indeed take a lot to be a proper parent. And you seem to have succeeded quite admirably. :)

XCashier said everything I want to say, and said it well. Congratulations, Mike. Many more years, and all of them happy. ;)

Jpurple
08-18-2006, 04:17 PM
I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said, but I wanted to add my congratulations. My next margarita will be used for a toast in your honor, Mike.