Why I'm apparently racist (damn my being a woman!)

[purplemoose84]

So I think I should be given a freak'n medal for not punching out a customer. He kept asking about hardwood flooring (I'm assuming that most ppl know that 2x4's are not considered hardwood flooring .. apparently I was wrong). First he was a little pissy b/c I had other customers I was working with and wouldn't just drop everything to attend to him... That I'm a female who corrected him. He kept pointing to the pictures in the how to book that showed 2x4s to build a sub floor (essentially a wooden floor raised a little above the cement foundation) saying he wanted something like that. hard only comes 3/4 inch thick and most and is dyed ontop. you can refinish it (sand it basicly) and put a differnt stain on it. Well me trying to explain this while using my skills from pysc class (active listening... when you say x, what I understand it to be is Y to me is this correct?). He points to pict that has the title above it of "How to build a wooden subfloor" I kid you not that was title. I turned to Mr.Bill and asked if he knew anything about building a sub floor. the Customer went off. I was told I know nothing, Home Depot shouldn't allow ppl like me to work there, that if I don't want to come to work that day, don't take out on someone asking for help, not to give him that attitude, how dare I misinterpret what he said to another worker, that I do not do any real work here (Ha! I more work than anyone else in my department!), that Home Depot doesn't give ppl training or if they did I was either stupid or didnt pay attention, and (my favorite) I'm racist. I should not discriminant against him just b/c he's of Indian heritage, he's an American citizen and has the same rights as I do ect.

Needless to say not only did I get a manager I got the store manager who worked flooring before taking on the path to management. I was so mad I was shaking. Sorry I'm still pissed at that guy
essentially he's pissed b/c I corrected him. I hid in the office near the front end where all of our how to books are sold and heard the SM talking to him. When the evil customer pointed out that I had corrected him and how aweful that was of me, my SM actually said sir we train all of our associates but especially specialty sales associates and that I did everything by the book. Evil customer (EC)was not pleased b/c I could him arguing with SM that I shouldn't have corrected him. When promoted why I shouldn't have corrected him, evil customer would not come out and say it but made clear that I shouldn't have corrected him b/c I am a woman. If you want to come to America good for you. But it's not fair to hold double standards. I never once insulted him, never once was rude. Hell the black customer Mr. Bill had been working with when the EC pulled the "race" card. EC even chased off two other customers b/c his nastiness to me! But two thoughts were stuck in head as I hid out in the front end office: one: if he really was an American citizen he should know better than to get pissy. He was upset basically b/c i told him he was wrong. in his culture as a woman my telling him he was wrong would have been seen as being extremely rude. But if he's American by birth he should understand by now (assuming he was raised here) that women have the same rights as men and that we can work retail and we can correct customers. However, judging by his accent he was an immigrant, which means to be a US a citizen he had to be here 7 years... after 7 fucking years in this country he cannot claim cultural ignorance sorry! You don't like me trying to help you (b/c I'm a woman) b/c you have no god damned clue what you are talking about. If a flooring associate explain to you, the reader, what wood flooring was, that the thickest it comes is 3/4 inch thick I'm assuming most of you would revise your beliefs on hardwood flooring. ... This all happen 2 days ago but I'm still pissed grrrrr!

[Pezzle]

The amount of Indian customers I got at CCity as a computer technician was staggering, since I live in New Jersey. Now, this isn't a bad thing since I don't usually discriminate. Yet, 3 times out of 4 they'd ask me repeatedly for the technician even when I said I was the technician. They'd then ask me to talk to HIM and not me... even though I was the only one in the store. They either walked or rolled their eyes and tried to haggle with me.

It was AMAZING.

[Raieth]

yeah when I worked at crappy tire I was in hardware. The funny thing was I new more about power tools then all my other coworkers (except the manager of hardware).

So when I helped an indian customer and they ask a man for advice I usually got one to come over. Just so that "man" would say that they new nothing about it and that the person they really needed to talk to about it was me.

The looks on their faces were priceless. Somewhere between amazment and disgust.

[Fawn]

Wow... just wow...
This topic makes me angry because of the ignorance and stupidity surrounding it!
Next time he comes in, get the chainsaw out! :devil:

[protege]

I bet it took quite a bit not to *beat* him with a 2x4.... :rolleyes:

[Emrld]

It is not ignorant or stupid . . . it is a cultural difference.
This is a person that was raised in a different place. Where he is from the women have a place and the men have a place.
True, he should be at a point by now where he is comfortable enough to specifically ask for a male employee.
True as a female I find it offensive that a part of our population looks down on me just because of my gender. However, I have to remember they were raised differently . . .by being respectful I am at least helping that male to be able to come closer to learning the American way.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, he was raised in a different place. A DIFFERENT place. Not this place. Things are different here. If he's too stupid to figure that out, he needs to learn with a quickness, or his time here is going to be difficult to say the least.

[tangrid]

It is not ignorant or stupid . . . it is a cultural difference.
This is a person that was raised in a different place. Where he is from the women have a place and the men have a place.
True, he should be at a point by now where he is comfortable enough to specifically ask for a male employee.
True as a female I find it offensive that a part of our population looks down on me just because of my gender. However, I have to remember they were raised differently . . .by being respectful I am at least helping that male to be able to come closer to learning the American way.

Actually, regardless of the fact that it's a cultural difference, ignorant is exactly what he is. He chooses to ignore the fact that women may actually know what they're talking about. Yes, I was raised in the U.S., and yes, I was always taught to be respectful to women, which I'm sure he wasn't. But just because you're raised a certain way doesn't mean you should stay that way indefinitely. Good examples: racist parents, abusive parents, dishonest parents, and of course sexist parents. Sure it puts the kid at a disadvantage, and people have a harder time changing after they become 'adults' but c'mon, if you can't improve yourself, you may as well pack up and go home (not leave the country, I mean just stay in your damn house and leave the rest of us alone) [/rant]

[Jewels]

I dunno...it kinda sounds like you pulled the Gender Card here. You can't really assume that the reason why he didn't want to work with you was because you are a girl...maybe he didn't appreciate the pysch talk? Maybe he thought that you were talking down to him? Maybe he was having a bad retail day? You can't just assume that a male from a different heritage is being sexist.

[Emrld]

I am not in dissagreement that people who move to this country should adapt to an American way of life.
But lets be realistic, it isn't going to happen overnight. This is the Melting Pot for a reason . . . many cultures blending together to create what we have today.
I am not condoning the behavior . . . I am saying lets be the bigger person and show a little understanding in that this was a man who was raised that what he did was ok. If people get in his face and berate him for it, pride will become a factor and change will be delayed.

[Posture Moll]

<i>I am not in dissagreement that people who move to this country should adapt to an American way of life.
But lets be realistic, it isn't going to happen overnight.

Nor in seven years, apparently.

If people get in his face and berate him for it, pride will become a factor and change will be delayed.

I don't know...a little public humiliation would probably work wonders. Why would he bother to change his behaviour if jelly-spined people keep kow-towing to him?

[Brightglaive]

This whole type of thing BURNS me up!! :pissed:

When the female techs on my team get this kind of thing I will offer to help them deal with the a$$hat that's calling. The way I handle it is this: I will ask the customer what the issue is. If they ask the same or similar question that they asked my Female tech I tell them, " Well Sir/Ma'am, " (yes I have had women second guess my female techs)" What agent X told you was precisely correct. She is a fully-trained and competent tech. Was there some reason you didn't believe what she said?" Usually this is about the time they start to back down. You see I'm the bull with the bigger horns. Mess with the bull and you get those horns.

What's funny is if they start to argue the information I can usually bury them with supporting documentation. If they still don't believe I will tell them that they will receive an e-mail regarding this that serves as their documentary proof that what they've been told is correct. If they choose not to believe me then, (usually by asking for my manager or the next level tech) I'll tell them, "I AM the tech manager. If you don't like the answer and don't believe the documentation I have sent you then I'm sorry. It is this way and that doesn't change regardless of what you do or do not like."

I bet it took quite a bit not to *beat* him with a 2x4....

At some point I like to LART (loser attitude readjustment tool) the SC. At this point the 2x4 actually becomes the clue-by-four. If you beat him maybe he'll get a clue, or have a clue next time.

[JustADude]

I dunno...it kinda sounds like you pulled the Gender Card here. You can't really assume that the reason why he didn't want to work with you was because you are a girl...maybe he didn't appreciate the pysch talk? Maybe he thought that you were talking down to him? Maybe he was having a bad retail day? You can't just assume that a male from a different heritage is being sexist.


(active listening... when you say x, what I understand it to be is Y to me is this correct?)


Jewels, Active Listening is simply the art of paying attention to what they say, interpreting what you hear, and making sure you have the intended interpretation. The lack of this skill on the parts of SCs and SEs is one of the major things we bitch about on these boards. In fact, I'm sure most of the people on this board, especially the Serving Staff and Commissioned Sales, use Active Listening constantly, they just don't realize there's anything special about doing it.

Anyone who feels uncomfortable in the face of it is uncomfortable with the sound of what's coming out of their own mouths. I.E. If they feel they're being talked down to, or being made to sound stupid, it's because they ARE being stupid.


When promoted {Prompted?} why I shouldn't have corrected him, evil customer would not come out and say it but made clear that I shouldn't have corrected him b/c I am a woman.


Barring any other facts, we can only accept her word that the customer did, in fact, make gender-specific remarks in this matter, thus rendering your assertion that PurpleMoose was assuming quite null and void. We can't discount the fact that he might have just snapped because he was having a bad day, but really, is being an inconsiderate asshole that takes his frustrations out on innocent sales associates any better?


EDIT: Apologies if it sounds like I'm attacking you, since this does come across a little harsh. That isn't my intention. I just felt I had to bring up certain points you might have overlooked when reading the OP.

[Emrld]

It is not known for proof positive how long this man has been in this country. He claimed to be a citizen and in the post it was pointed out that would mean living here for 7 years. Not that he had stated how long he had been in this country.

[Broomjockey]

It is not known for proof positive how long this man has been in this country. He claimed to be a citizen and in the post it was pointed out that would mean living here for 7 years. Not that he had stated how long he had been in this country.

So, slow learning ignorant asshat, or liar. He's not coming out very well either way you look at it.

[Jewels]

I dunno. Since there was nothing in the OP that showed that he was having a hard time with her because she was female, I have a hard time jumping on that sexist train of thought. I'm leaning more that he just didn't like her.


But thats just my two cents.

[Broomjockey]

When promoted why I shouldn't have corrected him, evil customer would not come out and say it but made clear that I shouldn't have corrected him b/c I am a woman.

I dunno. Since there was nothing in the OP that showed that he was having a hard time with her because she was female,.

This is where we're getting the sexism bit from. It is completely possible that he simply didn't like being corrected, or that something about the OP just rubbed him the wrong way. But that's the line most of us are latching on to.

[Boozy]

Evil customer (EC)was not pleased b/c I could him arguing with SM that I shouldn't have corrected him.

And if you hadn't corrected him?

He would have bought the wrong thing, ruined his home improvement project, and returned to the store to blame you.

That's a no-win situation right there.

[Bright_Star]

That sexist crap like what you endured still goes on pisses me off to no end. Here it is the early part of the 21st Century-2007-& guys are still acting like they rule the fucking world! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!...lol.

[Andara Bledin]

That sexist crap like what you endured still goes on pisses me off to no end. Here it is the early part of the 21st Century-2007-& guys are still acting like they rule the fucking world! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!...lol.

Women outnumber men. If women weren't often just as sexist (against women) as men, we wouldn't still have these issues. My mother-in-law was one of those "the woman must clean the entire house and do all the cooking, even if she has a full time job, makes all the money, and has a bad back" type of people.

^-.-^

[Killer Bees]

The amount of Indian customers I got at CCity as a computer technician was staggering, since I live in New Jersey. Now, this isn't a bad thing since I don't usually discriminate. Yet, 3 times out of 4 they'd ask me repeatedly for the technician even when I said I was the technician. They'd then ask me to talk to HIM and not me... even though I was the only one in the store. They either walked or rolled their eyes and tried to haggle with me.

It was AMAZING.

It's a sad fact that the foreigners who complain about people being racist towards them are some of the biggest racists around. I come from an Eastern European background and that culture is just shocking.

[iradney]

Hehehe
funny thing - in the call centre where I work, the guys come to me and ask me to speak to their difficult customers. I tell the customers the exact same thing the original agent told them, and then they believe it. I'm not sure why...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

That sexist crap like what you endured still goes on pisses me off to no end. Here it is the early part of the 21st Century-2007-& guys are still acting like they rule the fucking world! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!...lol.

Guys DO rule the fucking world.

And we rule them. ;)

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Yeah, he was raised in a different place. A DIFFERENT place. Not this place. Things are different here. If he's too stupid to figure that out, he needs to learn with a quickness, or his time here is going to be difficult to say the least.

Difficult OR short, depending on who he offends . . .

Either way, he needs a lesson on ettiquette. Preferably given by a 2x4.:angel:

[Broomjockey]

Guys DO rule the fucking world.

And we rule them. ;)

And we love every minute of it. :angel:

[Emrld]

I really feel like several of you have missunderstood what I am saying.
Let me try and make it really clear.
I do not agree with this man getting upset over a Woman correcting him. I do not condone the behavior of superiority. I honestly wish that it was not considered ok in some Countries for Men to not see Women as equals. Just because the views he was raised with do not agree with ours he is not ignorant.
Their is no proof positive how long this man has been in this country . . .nor is their any comment about how much of his life was spent believing the way he does.
I am saying that we should be the bigger people here. This is the country of freedom. This is a country founded by people trying to get away from others that were forcing a belief system down their throat.
Yes, it needs to change. Yes, people who come to this country need to have a basic understanding of our way of life here. Let's educate, show respect, and make the transiton easier for someone new to this country. Over vilifying them because they don't think like you do with in 24 hours (or even 7 years) of moving to this country.

[Customer Beating Robot]

It is not ignorant or stupid . . . it is a cultural difference.

To me, that just not a good enough excuse. If a guy comes from a culture that molests babies, then we shouldn't have to understand diddly squat about that culture. I have nothing against the Indian culture but there are certain aspects of some cultures I find disgusting and quite frankly, to hell with them. Not to say that their entire culture is bad; just that I don't have to accept every aspect of it. Injustice and bigotry in one part of the world is injustice and bigotry in every part.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Over vilifying them because they don't think like you do with in 24 hours (or even 7 years) of moving to this country.

I'll give you the 24 hours. But 7 years? No, sorry.

It's not like he's being asked to change his religion. He's being expected to not engage in a behavior we over here consider loathesome and offensive. Just like if we went to another country and respected them by, say, not wearing shorts in the Vatican. Or finding out that there is a right and wrong way to shake hands, and then avoiding the wrong way so you don't insult someone.

What if he pulled the same crap with a black person? "That black person should not disagree with me...it's not his/her place as a subservient!" Wow. Kinda changes that dynamic a bit there, doesnt' it? Gross. That kind of behavior would very quickly turn that guy into a complete pariah over here, and rightly so. He's failed to adhere to the rules we follow to keep from grossly offending someone. I'm not talking about a little faux pas, here, I'm talking about a major breach of public decency. 7 years is more than enough time to learn some basics. 6 months is more than enough time to learn some basics.

Maybe he hasn't been properly motivated to do so yet, because those around him haven't reacted with anything but tolerance and politeness that he, at his point, does not deserve. Maybe a little vilification is in order.

[Broomjockey]

I am saying that we should be the bigger people here. This is the country of freedom. This is a country founded by people trying to get away from others that were forcing a belief system down their throat.
Over vilifying them because they don't think like you do with in 24 hours (or even 7 years) of moving to this country.

I am also going to be extremely clear here.

It actually doesn't matter how long he's been here. It actually doesn't matter how long he's had those beliefs. We have people in North America who treat women like crap who've lived here all their lives, and were born here. And we villify them plenty. Why should we cut him extra slack because he's from elsewhere?
In fact, we're cutting him extra slack already, as we're supposing that he picked up this behaviour from elsewhere, and has simply been slow to learn correct behaviour.

If you strip away the fact that he might have learned this behaviour outside the country, and that he might have been here long enough to know better, he's a misogynistic jackass.

[Maximillion]

That's true too. When it comes to that sort of thing, yeah he has a different culture and many of us in America are open minded to different cultures, but universally whether he was being sexist or not, his behavior to PurpleMoose would be seen as rude or ignorant. Personally, (and this might sound a little harsh) it doesn't matter to me where you come from or the color of your skin, you should treat everyone with respect because it's just human ethics and common sense. If you disrespect me after I've shown you the utmost respect, I'm not gonna think "Oh, he's _____, that's how they are." I'm just gonna be like what an asshole

And I don't discriminate when it comes to assholes.

[Pezzle]

Personally, (and this might sound a little harsh) it doesn't matter to me where you come from or the color of your skin, you should treat everyone with respect because it's just human ethics and common sense. If you disrespect me after I've shown you the utmost respect, I'm not gonna think "Oh, he's _____, that's how they are." I'm just gonna be like what an asshole

And I don't discriminate when it comes to assholes.

Having worked in retail in this part of the country now for almost a year, I can tell you I've become 'guilty until proven innocent' when it comes to certain ethnicities and cultures, but I am never rude nor condescending toward anyone, because that would make me an asshole too.

Which, I am. But just sayin.