Does this actually happen?

[Rapscallion]

http://wapsisquare.com/d/20060815.html

I've had friends of both genders point this phenomenon out. They didn't have much interest in them from others until they finally landed someone as a partner. After that, they realised they were suddenly the centre of attraction.

I'm cheerfully oblivious to the intricacies involved. Does someone becoming unavailable suddenly make people realise they have something going for them previously unnoticed, or is it more a case that they are around someone who does like them and they now recognise the signals?

Consider me curious.

Rapscallion

[NightAngel]

I think it's that when a person is in a relationship they 'carry' themselves differently. More confident maybe, more relaxed because they aren't trying to impress, etc.

Maybe?

[toolbert]

I think its true. For some, like myself, when you're not in a relationship for a long itme you kind of sulk about it and notice things that turn people off. The moment I started dating again I had 3 girls I was interested in tell me they've been interested in me...but not until I was seeing someone who makes me totally happy. I think its totally a confidence thing. If you have more confidence then you'll land the person you're looking for. But, then again the statement that "you'll find someone when you're not even looking" is true too.

[PuckishOne]

Agreed with all of the above.

The Bizarro World/Dark Side of this: I've seen the aphrodisiac qualities of couplehood played out one too many times for my liking. Seems to happen more to men...as soon as the ring is on his finger, the women swarm. See, marriage is a sign of commitment, and if he can commit to one woman, well....

Yes, it's bizarrely twisted logic, but it's out there.

[One-Fang]

Just musing on that idea myself, I think it might be more that women realise if a man is married - then he's obviously lovable. Someone loves him, therefore there is something to love. Unattached men, on the other hand, must be repellant, because look - nobody loves them. Therefore it's not "he can commit" but "he must be worthy/valuable, I'll chase him".

It's a kind of universal phenomenon though. Just think how much more attractive that toy is to your toddler now that you've shown an interest in it. :)

[Greenday]

Funny, I've thought about that too, especially since I have a girlfriend now. All of a sudden I'm more at ease with women and they seem to be paying me more attention. Hell, some chick I work with at my summer job just came over to my stand and talked to me most of the day. At the end of our shifts, she just took my cell and put her number in it. I made a whole bunch of female friends over the summer at that job. Even at my other job, at the pharmacy, I made a couple female friends. Just tonight, one of my female co-workers and I were hanging out, watching Scary Movie 4. Nothing happened. We just watched the movie and had fun. It feels good to have friends that are girls and to be able to just chill. I'm so much more relaxed now.

[Broomjockey]

I was gonna put this in a new thread, but it kinda fits here.

I went to a couple of movies tonight with a friend and her sister. We both work in the same movie theatre, and see movies all the time. We've even brought along her long-time boyfriend. We're pretty comfortable together. We joke around, mock the same things, randomly punch each other, and hate a lot of the same things. She's a good friend the likes of which I haven't had for a while.

Today, while we're waiting for the movie to start, she looks at me and says "You know, if I wasn't in a relationship, I would have asked you out by now?"
I'm a little shocked, so I play to my strengths (ie. make a joke). I throw up my hands and go "Whoo hoo! That's more than I've gotten from anyone else before!"

The wierd thing is this is one of the few girls who I've gotten along well with who I've never even considered what it would be like to date. Even after I accidentally walked in on her changing :eek:. And I have no clue why she said what she did anyway. Still strikes me as odd.

[NightWolf]

I can't say i've ever had this issue. Attached, unattached, I've never really had anyone chase after me. I've always had to be the one in pursuit. Not that i'm worried about it, as I think I may end up having a bit of a "Ted Nugent" complex about the whole thing. I may not drink, smoke, do drugs, however I think the woman thing might be a bit of a problem. If there's temptation, and it's great temptation........god help me!!!! :o