Damn turkeys

[blas]

So the factory I work at is in an industrial zone (or an area devoted to factories) and a wooded area. The factory is right next to a river. Naturally, out on smoke break, we see deer wandering around and some employees throw bread crusts or chips out for them. There are also wild turkeys nearby, but they never come anywhere near us (or so we thought).

This morning on my last break at 7:00 am, I was sitting at one of the picnic tables enjoying my coffee and 2 ciggs when I saw off in the distance, two deer and about twelve turkeys (about 100 yards away) grazing by the river.

One turkey was "excluded" from the group. He stood about 10 feet away from the rest. He started walking towards me. Closer, closer, closer......I thought to myself, what the hell?!

Before I knew it, there he was! If I were standing, he would have came up to my ribs (I'm 5'3). He was ENORMOUS! He had black and grey and greenish feathers and a very long...beard? Whatever turkeys have under their neck...?

He started trying to peck at the table. There must have been crumbs or something that he wanted. There were other people outside, a few at the table as well, all saying "Look out blas, he's going to eat you!"

I sat completely still as he inched closer and closer to me. Pretty soon he tried to peck my cigarette! I figured the smoke would drive him nuts, as my cats and dog at home hate smoke and if I was walking the dog and smoking, she wouldn't walk close to me, and when my cats lived outside, if I was smoking while feeding them, they wouldn't come until I left.

Then he started to show off. He spread out his wings and flapped them. I started to freak out. Oh my god, this enormous turkey is going to KILL me!

Then all of a sudden these stupid new kids came outside and scared him away, trying to shove candy bars at him, going "Eat it, eat it!". Stupid kids.

He waddled back towards where he came from.

[gunsage]

Ha! This reminds me...when I was living on the east side in student housing, there was this kid that transferred from NYC to go to my college...and he got CHASED BY A WILD GOOSE! :roll: He was freaking out running away from it. I asked him later why he ran and he made it sound like it was the scariest moment of his life.

What the hell? You came from NEW YORK. You're going to let something like THAT scare you?! :rolleyes:

[Seshat]

Naturally, out on smoke break, we see deer wandering around and some employees throw bread crusts or chips out for them. There are also wild turkeys nearby, but they never come anywhere near us (or so we thought).

He had black and grey and greenish feathers and a very long...beard? Whatever turkeys have under their neck...?

Wattle. Yes, the same word as the name for acacia trees, or for the wattle-and-daub method of building construction.

I once had an emu try to get my park map - it got a corner of it. And a kangaroo tried to eat my sandwich. I still have a mark on my shoulder from that kangaroo. Though my father proved that an irate parent can drive off a hungry kangaroo. :)

Feeding wild animals is asking for trouble. It makes them unafraid of humans, and that leads to them brazenly demanding food from us.

[hecubus]

My best friend has often told me the story about how, on his first date with his now ex-wife, they were making out my the pond at a local golf course, and, right in the middle of the 'festivities,' they were attacked and chased away by a flock of geese.

I remember when I was a teenager, my family and I went to the Johnson Space Center, and, while eating lunch at their cafeteria, we were sitting on their patio, which had an over hang. The entire time we were eating, birds of every description would fly full speed right up to the edge of the canopy over the patio, and then turn back. Not once did any of them cross the imaginary line of the edge of the canopy, even though any of them could have flown right under it. It felt like a scene out of Hitchcock's The Birds.

I have come to the conclusion that most birds are insane.

[Amethyst Hunter]

I have come to the conclusion that most birds are insane.

I've been dive-bombed by seagulls. Fact: You can be in the middle of nowhere on a sandy beach, see only one gull and throw it a piece of bread. Within ten seconds every gull from the coastline will be kamikazing its way toward you to get in on the action.

I've heard Canadian geese can be nasty, especially if it's hatchling season. The community college I went to has several nice ponds and a sizeable goose population; more than once I'd hear students remark to each other about being harassed or attacked by geese that were near the walkways (and it was fun stepping around all the nasty little droppings, too). I never had a problem with 'em myself, though.

I always thought it was weird that a swan could beat a grown man to death with its wings - then I saw a swan one day and I was like, "Daaaaamn, that's a big bird." So yeah, I guess I could see that. Especially since I've heard too that swans are rather unpleasant bastards.

That encounter with the turkey sounds really cool though, Blas. I love stories like that.

[cinema guy]

I don't know about turkeys, but when we were kids my mother would always warn us to keep away from swans beacuse 'they'll break your arm'. I never really believed her, but I didn't test it out either. :)

[protege]

I have come to the conclusion that most birds are insane.

They are :p

When my grandmother still had her car, I got to test that theory out. We were taking the long way home on one of the back roads. Usually, those roads are pretty empty...so most people are moving quickly. I'm doing about 60mph, and there's a large flock of birds flying along the road, in one of the fields. Suddenly, they all turned right...crossed the road...and right into the car :eek: There were birds bouncing off the grille, hood, windshield, etc. At least the glass didn't break, but I'm sure many of those birds were killed :cry:

[auntiem]

shhhh hear that flop flop sound? (cookies to anyone who gets that)

I think this turkey was either challenging you or flirting - either way I wouldn't have stuck around to find out.

[Geek King]

Wattle. Yes, the same word as the name for acacia trees, or for the wattle-and-daub method of building construction.



There is a wattle there, but wild turkeys also have turkey beards (http://www.wildturkeyzone.com/articles/aging3.htm)

[wolfie]

I have a few animal stories:

- On one picnic, my father and I were holding out (in our palms) nuts to see if the squirrels around the picnic area would take them. One squirrel must have been smarter than the others - it ignored the offerred nuts and grabbed the drawstring bag of nuts (we were able to grab it back).

- Another trip, I was wearing a red hat with eyelets for ventilation, and a hummingbird mistook it for a flower and tried to get nectar from an eyelet.

- At a petting zoo, there were some oversized gumball vending machines for animal feed, with the cover from the dispensing slot missing from one of them. A rather large sheep was standing near it, and my mother (not built like a fashion model) anticipated what it was doing. Despite her bracing herself before turning the handle, the sheep still pushed her out of the way and got the entire "shot" of feed.

[Seshat]

There is a wattle there, but wild turkeys also have turkey beards (http://www.wildturkeyzone.com/articles/aging3.htm)

You learn something new every day! Thank you.

[sms001]

There were other people outside, a few at the table as well, all saying "Look out blas, he's going to eat you!"


Watch out Blas - it's a pre-emptive strike. He KNOWS what you're planning in two weeks, and he's gonna get you first! :lol:


I can confirm that swans and geese are also pretty damn aggressive and (bird shorter than me or not) a mothering swan is NOT to be trifled with. At all.

On the canopy issue. I saw a fluff piece on the news quite a while ago about sparrows(?) at some local big box that had learned to open the automatic door. They would fly right up, hover momentarily until the door opened and then swoop on in. And you can't imagine how funny it is to watch a pigeon hover like a hummingbird until you've watched a few of them try it to get around the defenses on one of those anti-squirrel bird feeders!

[NightAngel]

...and he got CHASED BY A WILD GOOSE! :roll: He was freaking out running away from it. I asked him later why he ran and he made it sound like it was the scariest moment of his life.

I hate to tell you this but geese and swans are dangerous animals and they can seriously injure you.

Geese and swans use their wings to beat a person, usually around the head and shoulders. They fly up in the air and can beat you while flying around you. You have very little chance of winning against a whirlwind of wings.
They are very powerful animals- a full grown goose or swan can knock a full grown man to the ground with zero problem. They can also easily break your bones as well.
Swans will beat you the same way and have been known drag children and dogs into the water.

Only a fool would willingly take on an angry goose or swan.
Your friend was smart to get away.

[Eireann]

Damn, what a close call I had!

Last year, I walked through a park heavily populated with ducks and geese, with a couple of swans. As I walked past the swan, it used its flexible neck to rotate its head to where it could always have an eye on me. I walked past the ducks and geese, who surrounded me with hopeful expressions, the geese making low honking noises. They were very interested on the way back, since I had a bag from the bakery in one hand. When I walked past the swan again, I stopped to take a picture, since I'm not often that close to a swan. It gave me a hiss, but didn't do anything else.

These birds can really work up that much force to bludgeon a grown person?

[Sarah81]

Birds are nuts, yeah.

At my university, we have psychotic squirrels. One minute, they're sitting there, looking cute and innocent. So you feed them, because it's your duty as a student to keep the population fat and lazy.

The next minute, these fat squirrels are chasing freshmen up the main walkway between the English building and the University Center.

Like...chasing with teeth bared, not being cute anymore, seriously jonesin' for some acorns type of pursuit. And people say that nature is boring. :)

[BookstoreEscapee]

There was a wild turkey on my college campus when I was there. His name was Tom. He had a girlfriend named Jenny but she was hit by a car the year before I started there. :( If Tom wasn't hanging out by the lake, he was sitting up in a tree in front of the library (there was always a pile of turkey poop underneath it that they would clean away once a week or so).

My senior year, some middle school kids from town came on campus and beat poor Tom to death with sticks and a police baton that they somehow got ahold of. :mad:

We missed Tom.

[NightAngel]

A mild attack:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8RfpWuAwZU

As a general rule geese and swans will only attack you if you get into their nesting orea or you're stupid enough to mess with them.

These birds have up to a 6 foot wing span and of course they are strong- you've gotta have some muscle to fly across the country!

They bite to.

[MamaMootz]

These posts remind me of a story my friend told me once about her daughter when her daughter was 5 or 6.

They were at a park and they just bought hot pretzels. My friend's son ran off and she went to grab him, and then she heard a panicked "MOMMY! MOMMY!" coming from her daughter.

Her daughter was on her back with the pretzel up in the air, surrounded by a bunch of geese who apparently knocked her down to get the pretzel. My friend sprinted over there and just grabbed the pretzel, tossed it so the birds went after it and picked up her daughter.

I won't mess with geese after that story - I did used to have them in my old apartment complex, though and I hated them. Nasty hissing things that left green poop all over the sidewalks.

[ArenaBoy]

Birds scare me. I've had too many strange experiences with them.

A tiny bird nearly pecked me in the head at Disney's Asia Animal Kingdom exhibit.

When I was in San Diego, I went to the zoo and witnessed a peacock take flight and narrowly missed my head by about 3 feet.

As for swans and geese. Do. Not. Piss. Them. Off. Ever. I damn well turn around and run like hell if I see swans or geese nearby. I was nearly bit by a swan when I was 5 and my parents and my uncle gave me a lecture which to this day is as clear as water.

You want to know how dangerous geese are? When I was in high school we were right next to a state park. Woods and all complete with wildlife. One of my teammates, who was one of the few who was intelligent and never did stupid things saw a family of geese go into a lake. My friend slowed down thinking they'd be on their way. He was wrong. The father (Presumably) went after him. My friend got away unharmed. However, he suffered some stroke of stupidity because he thought that the bird would be back in the lake. The goose came back at him madder and faster than ever. When he told me this I just about slapped him on the head and called him an idiot.

I see a lot of geese at my school. They keep to themselves and usually I see them crossing the roads.

Also, it is possible for swans to break a bone but it'd have to be a weak boned human (A child or an elderly person). They're defensive birds anyway but it doesn't mean go and mess with them. http://www.swanuk.org.uk/index%20frame.htm Check frequently asked questions by the way.

Again, I hate birds. Just cannot stand them.

[sms001]

Birds scare me. I've had too many strange experiences with them.

Thanks for breaking the ice ArenaBoy - I don't feel quite as shy now.

I don't know about scare so much as weird me out. There's a good sci-fi novel where the protagonists land on a planet that's dominated by an avian race. They can't quite figure out why the "birds" can dominate them so until one of them figures out that it is a racial memory of the era when our very feeble mammalian ancestors were often eaten by the earliest dinosaur/bird predators :)

I hope no one here will spread it around but I AM afraid of hummingbirds. I don't know if it is some childhood thing that I've blocked out, or that I realized ahead of time the current ornithological thought that they are nasty, aggressive, vicious, bugs with big bodies and long beaks. :lol: In any case, they freak me.

Also, it is possible for swans to break a bone but it'd have to be a weak boned human (A child or an elderly person).

It isn't really the possibility that they could "take" me that bothers me... I have no problem fighting a dog, or something else with a much better chance (like another human). It's the daring implied in their actions. And the contrast between what we're taught as kids and the real world.

I have to assume that something that attacks me knows what it is doing whether it seems likely or not. And the early conditioning for humans is that birds are benign. Robin Redbreast is the harbinger of Spring. Never mind that he's a territorial carnivore. The contrast between our nurture and what our core brain knows birds are capable of of is what is creepy.

[gunsage]

Heh...I just remembered something else that sorta relates to this. At the old building (yes we're at a bright shiny new playground now), there was a situation, oddly enough shortly after I relayed to my fellow coworkers about disaster recovery issues, where a goose slammed into a transformer not even a mile down the street, causing EVERYTHING on the street to go out. :eek:

A...GOOSE...slammed into a transformer. We were out for about 2 hours. In fact, I turned it into a running joke for a while. Somebody would complain about something not working and I'd respond with "It's those damn'd geese, man! They're plottin' something BIG!" :D

[MadMike]

I'll agree with whoever said that seagulls can be nuts, and that they appear out of nowhere if you feed one of them. I used to love to feed them at the beach, until they outlawed it. Unfortunately, it seems to have backfired. Now that people aren't allowed to feed them, they've become more aggressive. You don't dare even try to eat on the boardwalk anymore, lest they swoop down and try to steal your food. This one guy with some funnel cake found out the hard way....

In another story, we sometimes like to visit a wildlife part that's about half an hour away. They have ostriches, among other things, and we were feeding them the one time we were there. I think my son was about four when this happened. Someone warned us to watch out for this one dark-colored one, because it was mean. I didn't see it, so I didn't worry. Suddenly, it appeared out of nowhere and nipped my son on the hand. He was more angry than hurt or scared, and he started screaming at it and kicking the fence. When he finally calmed down, he told me, "I'm never feeding him again!"

[NightAngel]

I grew up in Missouri and like anyone who has lived in any semi-rural part of that state can tell you there are a great many beasties you can accidently cheese off.

When I was maybe 10 or 11 my parents took me to a yard sale and there was a pond across the street with big white geese. My Mom let me go over there to run off some energy but warned me to stay away from the geese- which I did.
One very large goose did NOT like me being on that side of the road. I swear that thing came out of nowhere and chased me (honking, snapping at me, flapping it's wings at me) up the hill, back across the street, around the house where the yard sale was being held, back across the street, around the pond area, back across to the house where FINALLY the woman giving the yard sale brought out her German Shepherd and ordered it to get the goose.
I did not know this because I was running for my life.
So, there I was running in fear of my life from a goose and then suddenly there is barking and growling behind me. I caught sight of the German Shepherd and I thought, "I'm dead!" Because I knew there was no way in HELL I could outrun a goose AND a German Shepherd!

The dog headed the goose back to the pond though and I was saved.
The dog received much praise from everyone at the yard sale and seemed quite pleased with himself. :D


I love feeding Seagulls. I have been the target of many vacationer's photographs because I sit on my beach blanket and I just hold a potato chip up the birds swarm around and hover in a circle around me. Pretty soon one will get up the nerve to swoop down and take the chip from my hand.

Northeners get a real kick out of that. :lol:

[Rahmota]

Well it is called wild life for a reason....

Yeah birds can be interesting to watch until they get bent about something.

My girlfriend of the time and I where out at the local lake back in college and tossed a few cheese puffs to this goose. Lone singular goose (amzing I know) Then a few more showed up and thena few more until there was probably a dozen or more there. And they all just kinda lined up and stared at us while walking slowly closer. Its like they knew! They are telepathic I'll tell you.

[Eireann]

That reminds me of something funny.

In Venice, the pigeons at the Piazza San Marco are tame, fat, and VERY greedy. Tourists can buy a bag of food for a euro and feed the pigeons. So, those of you who visit Venice, here's what you do:

Do NOT buy a bag of food.
Do NOT feed the pigeons anything.

Stand around and watch the other tourists feed the pigeons. Watch as they become covered by the greedy little bastards. Listen to them scream.

It's highly amusing.

[gunsage]

I HATE seagulls. I don't hate them because they're ugly. I don't hate them because they make noise. I don't even hate them because they're annoying. I hate them because they're attracted to...wait for it...IDIOTS. Justification:

Anytime I go to our local supermarket, we have to watch where we drive because they're everywhere. Why? Because IDIOTS have been feeding them. That's right...where initially they were hanging around because someone or some people weren't taking care of the lot and they were playing bum cleanup...now IDIOTS have been seen feeding them every now and then!

It gets annoying because, well, yes, seagulls are annoying and I really don't WANT to hit them...which wouldn't be a problem if there weren't so damn'd many...which DEFINITELY wouldn't be a problem if they DIDN'T HAVE A REASON TO BE THERE such as, oh, I don't know...IDIOTS FEEDING THEM! I WILL KICK YOUR ASS! :rolleyes:

[NightAngel]

Actually, I think seagulls just like parking lots for some reason. People don't generally feed them in the parking lots here because who wants seagull poop on their windshield? :lol:

They hang out in the parking lots here whether they're fed or not. They just wander aimlessly about as if they're completely lost and have zero idea how to get back to the ocean... which, honestly, they probably don't.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My work sent us an email last spring asking us not to feed the geese so they wouldn't hang out in the parking lot. It was covered in green poop. Luckily they went away after a few weeks. There is a park with a lake nearby that they can congregate at.

The park also has a fenced-in area that has lots of deer that roam around the woods, plus some smaller areas within it; there are a couple rabbit hutches, several breeds of chickens, some pheasants (I think that's what they are), quail, a turkey, a peacock (who will occasionally spread his tail and strut his stuff; it's gotta be 6 feet across and takes up almost the whole width of his pen), white geese (as opposed to the other geese that hang by the lake), a couple goats, and an emu. There used to a pig but I think it must have died. He was gone at the end of last summer, and I thought maybe they had just moved him somewhere for the winter, but he wasn't back this summer and his pen was empty. People often throw bread over the fence to the deer and the birds, but there's a sign on the goats' pen that says they are on a balanced diet and please don't feed them. I sometimes walk in the park and I like to go down there and see the animals, but you have to watch where you walk because the wild geese leave their droppings all over the place.

[TheseFightingWords]

Turkeys are popping up everywhere around here. Which you'd think at this time of the year they'd all go into hiding. I mean sure they're wild, but I'm sure someone would eat one.

The worst thing I've seen is my dad got attacked by a raccoon. He had to run to the car before the thing backed away.

[patiokitty]

When I was 11 my step-father got the bright idea of trying to run a hobby farm. We had 4 pigs, about 100 chickens (including the rooster), 6 Peking ducks, 3 dwarf rabbits, and a mated pair of white geese.

The ducks and the geese were not penned...instead they had their flight feathers cut down and were allowed to roam the yard freely. Kind of a cool idea except for the fact that the female goose was dumber than a brick. For some reason she seemed to like standing in the driveway...until the day one of my step-father's friends sped up the driveway and, you guessed it, hit the stoopid goose. She made a good dinner but that's not the point.

The male goose went right around the bend. If anything moved he would attack it. Except for me because I was the one who fed him so I was alright. But let me tell you, a pissed off goose running after you, wings fully spread, is not a pretty sight to behond! And geese will bite. Mr. Goose certainly did.

The final straw was when my mom came home from work one night and got attacked before she even made it up the porch stairs. Things are NOT good when you have a HUGE yard and can't even use it thanks to a killer goose. Well, I didn't mind because it meant that I had the whole yard to myself. However, I had the dubious honour of catching said mad goose and penning him up so my step-father could turn him into dinner.

Attack of the killer goosie! ATTACK of the KILLER Goosie!

Yeah, we even had a sign that said, "Don't worry about the dog, worry about the killer goose."

[blas]

This reminds me of my senior pictures. Half of them were to be taken at the local park, which is infamous for its zoo and wildlife. The swan pond is the most beautiful part of the whole park.

I was posing with Bear the dog at the Swan Pond, when all of a sudden this swan started HISSING at Bear. It got out of the pond and started coming towards her. At first, Bear cowered in fear. Then once the Swan started coming closer, Bear started growling and showing her teeth. I've never seen her THAT mad the entire time we've had her. She was freaking out!

She wasn't on her leash, because we needed leeway for all the different poses, and before I knew it, Bear was chasing after that Swan and headed towards the Pond and barking up a storm at all the Swans.

The swans must have spread the word to the peacocks, because the next time my parents took Bear for her weekly walk through the park, Mr. Peacock himself started to chase Bear.

[Tanasi]

My Dad told the tale of a particularly mean hen they had when he was a kid. This hen would chase anyone that ventured outside and was impossible to catch. One day the hen was trying to flog one of the draft horses. The mare just looked down to see what bothering her and then she lifted up one foot and put it on the hen. Those horses were Beligans so they had hoofs the size of a dinner plate and they each weighed close to a ton.
In the spring a few years ago we watched a really big tom turkey flog a coke machine in which it it could see it's reflection.