Porn star at work? (A little TMI, not terrible, mostly humorous)

[MystyGlyttyr]

A guy friend of mine just sent me an e-mail that I just had to share.

Basically, to make a long story short, there's a casual guy friend of mine who works at a call center where they're like, four to a cube or something. (They're big cubes.) He has a new girl in his cube who just started this week.

He, however, admitted that he recognizes her from *certain type of fetish porn* videos that he's downloaded. Nothing nasty, a little odd of a turn-on but hey, everyone has their thing...

He wanted to know how he should ask her about this. Not if. How!

I wrote back that he was a damn dirty ape if he asked her about it at work and was probably opening himself up for a sexual harrassment suit if he mentioned it and it would be best to just let it go and not mention it. He's making it sound like he has Marilyn Monroe in his cube, and she's just some random local model who did a low-budget fetish film. (I looked her up...she's decent-looking but she's not someone I would classify as OMG TEH HOT the way he's doing...but again, everyone has their thing.)

Seriously though, that has to be the weirdest situation I've heard of that didn't come from Snopes.com. :lol:

[Kusanagi]

Play one of her videos on the computer when she walks by and see if she notices.

[cinema guy]

Bring the DVd to work and ask her to autograph the cover?

[Jester]

"Hi....you look SOO familiar, but I just CAN'T place you....."

[Greenday]

Take her out to a bar, get her trashed, THEN ask her about it?

[iradney]

Strike up a conversation and see if it leads to her talking about it?
Honestly, even if I was in a porn film, I dunno if I'd want talk to someone I worked with about it. And yes, it could open your bud up to sexual harrassment claims...Though one has to wonder how?

"He saw my porn film and asked me about it!!!"

[Jester]

And yes, it could open your bud up to sexual harrassment claims...Though one has to wonder how?

Um, because it isn't work related? It isn't appropriate to be discussing at the job? It's something she did in her past and (maybe) she doesn't want to talk about it at her new job? It could be seen as unwanted sexual advances, which is basically what sexual harassment is?

Just a few ideas. Just because she did make the tape doesn't mean she wants to discuss it at her current job.

Of course, there IS always the possibility that it isn't her on the tape, but someone who looks remarkably like her. It may be a remote possibility, but it still exists....and boy would that suck for the guy who brought up that subject if it WASN'T her!

[Knightmare]

Hmm.. maybe I should make a post about my date with a porn star....

[digilight]

Just walk around singing booow chica bow bow all day long....

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, he doesn't need to bring it up. If he's not smart enough the realize he has to work with this woman and ought to practice a little discretion, he needs to learn.
You don't just ask coworkers stuff like that unless you know you can, if that makes sense.

[cinema guy]

Hmm.. maybe I should make a post about my date with a porn star....

Yep.

(Darn. Apparently 'Yep.' is too short, so I have to add this.)

[Jester]

Amusingly, one of my oldest friends in the world is an adult film actress. Aka porn star. When I mention this to my friends, they all ask "How the heck are you friends with a porn star?" Um, I've known her for almost 20 years, long before she got into the industry. That's how. :lol:

[AnaKhouri]

I became the envy of all my male friends when Jenna Jameson signed her book at my store!

I talked to her and even was in the bathroom at the same time she was (hence the title of my future memoir: "In the Bathroom with a Porn Star and Other Adventures in Bookselling").

But then, everyone KNOWS she's a porn star (except a couple elderly people who asked me what author had such a long line...I told them she was an "international film star" :lol:). So I would agree with everyone and say, don't mention it to anyone! If the girl hasn't told people herself then she probably doesn't want it to be well-known.

[Jester]

...the title of my future memoir: "In the Bathroom with a Porn Star and Other Adventures in Bookselling"

I had planned to write a book from my year and a half spent traveling the country. Based on one of the many odd stories from that time, I was going to call it simply "The Carrot Cake Orgasm." No, it's not what you think....but it WAS hilarious!

[Palsgraf]

1. What fetish? Feet? (Are there any other people who are into big noses, or am I the only sicko in the room on that one?)

2. I worked with a waitress who'd transferred from a restaurant in another city. She told me that one of her former co-workers had an adult website. The 'model' had told them about it. She said that several of the servers there had checked it out and told the model, "Hey, that looks good." She (my co-worker) also told me that sometimes a customer would recognize her and even sometimes want to wait around for her after she finished her shift. Creepy. (Yes, I checked-out the site. I didn't pay to 'enter' it, but the 'free' photos looked professional. They were just nude posess - nothing hardcore ... at least not in the inro. free pics.)

3. A bartender I'd worked with claimed to have dated a woman who'd 'been with' the infamous Ron Jeremy. "What, she dated him?" "No," he laughed, "She was in a porno with him. She did several films ... it was a low point in her life that she wasn't proud of." Of course, I checked that out too. Her name was never at the top. She didn't look like a model or a star ... just someone who'd been in some hardcore films.

4. My suggestion (finally). DO NOT bring it up with her, at work or elsewhere. DO NOT discuss it with fellow co-workers. If she wants to tell anyone or everyone, that's her business. If, however, she wants to put "those mistakes" of that part of her life behind her, then let her.

[Kusanagi]

I'm a firm believer that everyone should at some point have the ability to say

"I was young and I needed the money"

[digilight]

My honest answer, see Kusanagi's post above me. I've gone to Havasu and partied with strippers. My best friend had a buddy who was a bouncer at a local strip club. He invited a few of us and about 6 strippers up for a summer holiday weekend about 9 years back. Some of the girls were complete idiot losers, and some of the girls were very intelligent just doing it to pay the rent and get ahead in life.

I've also partied with pornstars and let me tell you they are different on a personal level then what you would expect. They are just like you and I, trying to get by. Sure they have to act flamboyant and flash some ass or whatever private part you would like to imagine. But its all part of their act. Most of them don't consider it a career, they just consider it a way to pay the bills or work their way thru college.

[MCSledgehammer]

Having been, well, young and needing money, my particular preference would be that it not be mentioned at all at a "normal" job. Trust me, it's really difficult to treat someone with the professionalism one should when it's mutual knowledge that he's punched the gopher to that movie you were in, and he's seen you naked, in rather compromising circumstances. It's hard to shake the feeling that he will never think of you otherwise. :rolleyes: Just my 2 cents...

[gunsage]

"I was young and I needed the money"
That's how I respond when asked why I worked tier 2 tech support. :lol:

[blas]

While at dinner with my boyfriend and his brother and his brother's gf, his brother's gf and I were disgusted when we heard this hypocrisy spew from both of their mouths:

They both stated that they no doubt love watching strippers. But if they found out that a girl they were dating was doing it for a living, they'd leave them. They actually refuse to date a girl who does it for a living. So it's ok to do it to get their jollies off, but it's not ok to otherwise treat them as female human beings, outside of the club? Pigs.

Whiskey tango foxtrot ?!

Back on topic, I don't think it's appropriate at work to be asking that girl about what she does for a living otherwise. Not only risking sexual harrassment, but it's just not the brightest way to start a conversation. "Hey I thought I saw you in a porno!"

[RecoveringKinkoid]

1. What fetish? Feet? (Are there any other people who are into big noses, or am I the only sicko in the room on that one?)



No. No, you aren't.

Of course, in my case, it's probably less about fetish and more about a bit of a Narcissus complex. :o I mean, have you seen my nose?

"Punched the gopher?" Wow. A new one to add to my list of bizarre and hilarious euphamisms. :roll:

[myswtghst]

I'll go ahead and join in with others saying that he should not, under any circumstances ask her about this. If she wants to volunteer the info, then go for it, but otherwise, consider it off limits.

Also, this reminds me of how I recently found out that a guy who dated a friend of mine (a friend who has a repuation for dating men before then come out as gay) and adamantly defended his "straightness" in high school, is now doing gay internet porn. And someone *cough*my gay best friend*cough* just had to show me the website. Ew. :p

[Seshat]

And yes, it could open your bud up to sexual harrassment claims...Though one has to wonder how?

"He saw my porn film and asked me about it!!!"

Non-consent is non-consent. Harassment is harassment. Prior acts and behaviour on the part of the victim don't change that. A prostitute can still be raped - if she's forced after she refuses, it's rape.

This, however, is potentially controversial. If anyone wishes to discuss/dispute this, join me on Fratching. (You may need to start a thread.)

[MystyGlyttyr]

Well, I've talked with him again today and thus far, he's not mentioned it. And I directed him to this thread and he more or less threw up his hands and said "All right, already!" So he won't be mentioning it, heh.

So far as "She was young and needed the money"...er, she's STILL young, if you catch my drift. If not, she's not aged a bit between the video and her current appearence. Though personally, I don't give a rat fink how you make spare cash, and I know how well jobs like that can pay (I know a guy who worked for a phone sex line for like, 30 hours a week and had a two-story house, a one-year-old car and a flat screen, HA), so I say more power to you.

The guy I mentioned above is particularly amusing. He's openly gayer than the day is long, and he works on a sex line where MEN are calling WOMEN. But to hear his voice on the phone, you would never, ever guess he was not a giggling blonde (actually, he dyes it pink and blue, but who's counting). And he says it's easy to leave work without anyone suspecting anything of him, he just passes himself off as a delivery perseon. The lesson here is: buyer beware. :lol:

[Geek King]

That's how I respond when asked why I worked tier 2 tech support. :lol:

You too? :lol: