Got any SC bodies to dispose of?

[FuzzyKitten99]

I got an industrial strength wood-chipper sitting in my driveway because our neighbor is finally getting rid of the nasty PITA black-walnut tree that drops crap all over.

So, if ya got any bodies of SC's that you recently off'ed or are sitting in your freezer, now's the time to get rid of the evidence! :D

[blas87]

Well my closet and the trunk of my car are starting to smell, and there's no more room in my parents' basement or under the porch....got any room for ex boyfriends?

[FuzzyKitten99]

Well my closet and the trunk of my car are starting to smell, and there's no more room in my parents' basement or under the porch....got any room for ex boyfriends?

absoluetely... bring'em over. They don't take up nearly as much room when they're in itty-bitty pieces and all the fluids are drained...

[crazylegs]

itty-bitty pieces and all the fluids are drained...

Remember, bleach, and lots of it, consider putting down a plastic sheet to prevent the worst of it, then bleach lots. And then some more, especially in the chipper, blood gets into the most awkward of crevices :D

[Heksubah]

I do hope your neighbor knows that black walnut trees are rather rare and very valuable... Could be better to sell the wood than to chip it.

(At least, according to my stepdad who is still plotting to steal the tree from our neighbor that sits right next to our property line. He claims it is worth several thousand dollars.)

[FuzzyKitten99]

I do hope your neighbor knows that black walnut trees are rather rare and very valuable... Could be better to sell the wood than to chip it.

(At least, according to my stepdad who is still plotting to steal the tree from our neighbor that sits right next to our property line. He claims it is worth several thousand dollars.)

they aren't rare here and more of a pain than anything. What is one of the biggest pains is when the walnuts are ripe enough, the local squirrels come and grab all they can, then proceed to open them all and leave little piles in various spots around the yard, deck, roofs, patio, as well as my flower pots and vegetable garden, which died early because of the acid in the walnut husks, as I found out from the garden center here. Try stepping barefoot on a piece of empty shell that is randomly in your yard. Not to mention the black stain that the things leave when they have been opened by the squirrels or driven over by our cars. One half of our concrete driveway has been stained black from the last round of walnuts. It should be ok by spring though, after the winter salt from our driveway bleaches it. Plus trying to open the walnuts yourself requires a vice-grip.

[ditchdj]

I've heard that they're actually pretty good in disposing of a body. I saw where a guy did this to his wife and had the outer chute aimed into a river. He almost got away with it but the detectives found a few pieces of hair and a tooth on the ground next to the river. :(

[monolayth]

any room for a sister in law?

[Jester]

I appreciate the offer, FuzzyKitten, but I really don't need it. As I tell all the boys that date or try to date my teenage nieces, I have a lot of friends with boats and a whole ocean to work with. :lol:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Thanks, but my Dad has 400 acres and a shovel. I also have friends with shotguns.

And my Mom has a pickup truck, so does Dad.

I can safely dispose of any ex-boyfriends quite easily.:lol:

[Saydrah]

I'll bring by everyone who bragged about their big dinners today when I was too sick to eat!

In a few days when I feel well enough to stab them all.

[protege]

Thanks, but my Dad has 400 acres and a shovel. I also have friends with shotguns.

Hehe I used to tell people the same thing--Don't piss me off; I have 80 acres plus a tractor and backhoe to hide bodies :angel:

[Trayol]

This will be great. However, questions may arise when vast numbers of people begin disappearing around me. Does anyone know a person whom I should frame?

[Saydrah]

I nominate my future in-laws.

[Trayol]

You're somewhat far from me. We have to meet halfway in Nebraska. Being mostly corn no one would care what happens.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

This will be great. However, questions may arise when vast numbers of people begin disappearing around me. Does anyone know a person whom I should frame?

How about a former boss I had to work with at my old store . . he'd fit the bill nicely.

Just have to go a bit west now to find him (he's near Winston-Salem and keeps bouncing around like a ball.)

Which may not be a problem, as my b/f has to go there every so often - he can just stuff this turkey in the back of the truck amongst the Chips Deluxe and Vanilla Wafers.

Tarzan will never know what hit him.:angel:

[Saydrah]

You're somewhat far from me. We have to meet halfway in Nebraska. Being mostly corn no one would care what happens.

Man I was JUST in Chicagoland, too. Well, Naperville, but same diff.

[Jester]

This will be great. However, questions may arise when vast numbers of people begin disappearing around me. Does anyone know a person whom I should frame?

Well, I nominate my two horrible bosses, Shit Weasel and (before him at a different job) Cocksucker.

George W. Bush comes to mind as well.

Lindsay Lohan.

Paris Hilton.

Britney Spears. Wait, no, she has enough problems. I actually almost feel kind of bad for her. Seriously.

Dick Cheney.

Hillary Clinton.

Your local drug dealer.

Your local corrupt cop.

Almost any Florida politician.

Almost any teen boy trying to date one of my nieces. (I will admit, some of them aren't complete wastes of skin.)

Snap's boyfriend.

My ex-girlfriend's husband, my former friend, The Dirtbag.

Jerry Falwell.

Rosie O'Donnell.

Tom Cruise.

I could go on and on, but that is a good list to start with.

[morgana]

I nominate:

Fred Phelps, or any of his minions

my ex-husband, Clueless McJerkwad

his new wife, the Whore (seriously, *his kids* call her that)

a former boss, Miss "Sour" (spelled differently, but that's how it's pronounced, and boy did she live up to it)

and a couple of idiot ex-neighbors . . .

[Ringtail Z28]

I've got a bunch of useless coworkers that should be thrown in.

Unfortunately they're government workers so they're probably too wide to fit inside.

[Trayol]

I only really needed one, maybe three people, to frame. Not 20. However this would help me spread the love that is prison. If any of you need someone to frame you could take some of my former florrmates.