Jester
11-17-2007, 01:57 PM
This relates to my social life. If you have as much interest in my social life as most women seem to, feel free to skip to the next amusing thread.
So yesterday, after I got off work at The Bar, I had a few drinks. Actually, due to various odd coincidences, I somehow found myself doing three shots back to back to back BEFORE I even finished work. Not my idea, I swear....they were forced on me. (Not, admittedly, that it took much arm-twisting.)
So I'm sitting there, drinking my beer, and start talking to the couple next to me. We'll call them Horsey Girl and Ocho. (Don't ask. Inside joke. And as good a place as anywhere to come up with pseudonyms for them, don'tchya think?) And we are having a good ole time, amusing the hell out of each other.
And Horsey Girl starts talking about her sex life with Ocho, in glowing terms. And I jokingly mentioned that I haven't gotten any "since the Carter Administration." So it's at this point that HG decides, loudly, that her mission was to "get this guy laid." Okay, I'm all for it. Let's see where this goes. :lol:
So HG, Ocho and I start barhopping. Bless their souls, they wouldn't let me pay for a drink. Bastards. And I start to realize that HG is about as subtle as a jackhammer. Now, you would have thought that I would have realized this when she repeatedly and loudly announced her "mission" to the bartender at The Bar, but as I've said many times before, I'm really not all that bright. :lol:
This was HG's "subtle" approach to completing her "mission": She would walk up to an attractive woman, or two, that we'd see at a bar. She would say something along the lines of, "You girls are cute. Are you single? Because it's my mission tonight to get that guy laid."
Now, I didn't have high hopes for the "mission" to begin with, but with that kind of approach, even Peter Graves and his crew would have trouble accomplishing the objective at hand, don't you think? I mean, walking up to someone and saying "Wanna fuck?" isn't that far removed from what HG was doing on my behalf! I was very entertained by the whole thing, as was Ocho, and HG really seemed to think that her approach would work. :lol:
The results were predictable. The only "action" I got was in helping a very drunken HG up two flights of stairs to her and Ocho's hotel room. When she suggested that we all go to the hot tub (back on the main level) I pointedly told her, "HG, I am not carrying you up two flights of stairs again. Now chill, and go to bed with Ocho." Ocho was very thankful. (He didn't want to carry her up the stairs either.)
We did exchange numbers, and I expect to party with them again tonight after work. Can't wait to see what they have in store for me this time! (Is it too late in life to join a monastery?) :lol:
So yesterday, after I got off work at The Bar, I had a few drinks. Actually, due to various odd coincidences, I somehow found myself doing three shots back to back to back BEFORE I even finished work. Not my idea, I swear....they were forced on me. (Not, admittedly, that it took much arm-twisting.)
So I'm sitting there, drinking my beer, and start talking to the couple next to me. We'll call them Horsey Girl and Ocho. (Don't ask. Inside joke. And as good a place as anywhere to come up with pseudonyms for them, don'tchya think?) And we are having a good ole time, amusing the hell out of each other.
And Horsey Girl starts talking about her sex life with Ocho, in glowing terms. And I jokingly mentioned that I haven't gotten any "since the Carter Administration." So it's at this point that HG decides, loudly, that her mission was to "get this guy laid." Okay, I'm all for it. Let's see where this goes. :lol:
So HG, Ocho and I start barhopping. Bless their souls, they wouldn't let me pay for a drink. Bastards. And I start to realize that HG is about as subtle as a jackhammer. Now, you would have thought that I would have realized this when she repeatedly and loudly announced her "mission" to the bartender at The Bar, but as I've said many times before, I'm really not all that bright. :lol:
This was HG's "subtle" approach to completing her "mission": She would walk up to an attractive woman, or two, that we'd see at a bar. She would say something along the lines of, "You girls are cute. Are you single? Because it's my mission tonight to get that guy laid."
Now, I didn't have high hopes for the "mission" to begin with, but with that kind of approach, even Peter Graves and his crew would have trouble accomplishing the objective at hand, don't you think? I mean, walking up to someone and saying "Wanna fuck?" isn't that far removed from what HG was doing on my behalf! I was very entertained by the whole thing, as was Ocho, and HG really seemed to think that her approach would work. :lol:
The results were predictable. The only "action" I got was in helping a very drunken HG up two flights of stairs to her and Ocho's hotel room. When she suggested that we all go to the hot tub (back on the main level) I pointedly told her, "HG, I am not carrying you up two flights of stairs again. Now chill, and go to bed with Ocho." Ocho was very thankful. (He didn't want to carry her up the stairs either.)
We did exchange numbers, and I expect to party with them again tonight after work. Can't wait to see what they have in store for me this time! (Is it too late in life to join a monastery?) :lol: