How did you know when you were in love?

[iradney]

And how did you know when you met the one??

With TTO, I knew I loved him from our first incredibly awkward kiss. We'd met on the internet, and had a long distance relationship for 3 months. I flew down to meet him, and had a very awkward kiss where we didn't know where to put our noses.


I knew he was the one when, every time he made me tea, he used a mug he bought me. It had a picture of Garfield holding a heart, saying "I love you".
It's the little things :)

[Lace Neil Singer]

When I agreed to go to Brans Hatch with him for the Superbikes, despite having no interest in racing whatsoever. :lol:

[digilight]

You just know, its hard to explain it unless you have actually experienced it. We (the wife and I) had a friend who was unlucky at love the whole nine yards. We told her that the right guy will come around and you will know when its right. Well she got married to Mr. Right this past may and totally agree's with us.

Allthough for me, it was when my now wife got into a verbal altercation with some lowlife chick that was hanging around with our group of friends trying to start shit. yeah its so like totally high school :) .

[Jester]

And how did you know when you met the one??

Well, I'm single, so it could be argued that I HAVEN'T met The One. :lol:

The closest I've come to that would be The Brit, my ex-fiancee. I don't know that there was one moment that the light bulb went off, but there were a few things that jump out a bit.

Like when I drove 15 miles up the Keys and back before she woke up just to get her some of the better coffee around here, from a shop that people rave about. I don't drink coffee, can't stand it, and would rather kiss a girl after she's smoked a cigarette than after she's had some coffee.....and The Brit knew this.

Or when, after getting engaged one very drunken night a mere ten days after I met her (and before we had ever had sex, I might add), I woke up the next morning, looked at her, and thought "Oh dear lord, please let her remember last night and please let her still say yes."

Or the first time we had sex. That is still engraved firmly in my brain....and no, you pervs don't get ANY details. Some things even I'M not open about! :D

Or when she started referring to me quite lovingly as "Mr. Magic." As much as I loved our little verbal jousts of trying to outdo one another with the traded insults and barbs, when she called me that and looked at me that way.....I was a puddle.

Or when she'd be so hungover, laying in bed, that she was holding on to the bed for dear life, and to make sure she wouldn't fall off the earth.

Or when, after the first time she went away, I picked her up at the airport and she TACKLED me when she first saw me, literally knocking both of us to the ground.

Perhaps more than anything, it was the fact that, more than any girl I've dated, she accepted me for who I am and what I was, and said as much.

*sigh* She certainly had her faults and her issues, but she definitely raised the bar for who I am looking for. The day she broke it off was the worst day of my adult life, and the second worst day of my entire life (after only the day my father died when I was 10.) I miss her terribly, but have come to realize (slowly) and accept (even more slowly) that she's never coming back. The year I was with her was the happiest of my life, and she is basically the reason I no longer really care that much about a quick roll in the hay, but am actively looking for a girlfriend, a commitment, someone to spend my life with. She is the reason why I no longer really see the positive in being single.

Goodbye, my Dark Queen.

Damn you, Iradney, for bringing so much of this out of me.

And thank you.

[RedHeadPhoneGirl]

I think I knew when I met now hubby that he was the one, without knowing that I knew it. I was dating someone else at the time, not seriously. I met him in class, and we had so much fun! Well we started hanging out a lot, just sitting and talking, or studying, or bowling. We'd sit on the bleachers in the freezing cold, with snow all around us, and just cuddle close and talk like old friends... There was an awkward kiss on the bleachers at one point, soft and sweet.... Another night, when we got caught in an ice storm while he was walking me back to my dorm, we huddled under the overhang for the cafeteria and things got a little hot and heavy (the night he proved that his tiny frame was still enough to pick me up :) )

But the night I really knew it was Him, was when he walked me back to my dorm one night, gave me a big hug, a kiss on the cheek and left me standing there, watching him leave... It was snowing, but not hard, and hardly any wind was blowing...

I walked into my dorm, sat on my bed, grabbed the hoody he'd given me, and one of the pictures he'd given me of him before we met and I went "Oh. My. God. How. Did. This. Happen." Just like that.
My roommate looked at me and said "What?"
I looked up at her, then back at the picture, and the hoody and said "I think I've fallen in love with Ferret" (Now hubby's then nickname :D )

That was when I knew I was in love. The next day we started officially dating. We got married 1 year and 1 month later, minus a day, and now we've a munchkin on the way, due in May :)

[auntiem]

With my Hubby (now ex) it was a "lightning bolt" - I know you hear about them in movies and stuff, but it is true. A friend of mine said I had to meet a guy she worked with and he was "hands off". I walked into the room took one look at him and was "stricken". We were married a year and a half later (the "hands off" friend was in attendance). We divorced a few years later (due to an issue we couldn't resolve) but he will always have a special place in my heart.

My current SO and I have been together 10yrs last week. This time it snuck up on us. We are totally not each other's type - our friends were amazed when we got together because they would never think that we would make a good couple.
I tended toward musicians (drummers mostly) with a mean streak or at the least an emotionally distant streak. He liked very pretty, high-maitenence gals. We had a steep learning curve - we both of us appologizing for things that we've been yelled at before, but turns out we weren't upset about (like me for reading a book instead of talking to him - or him taking to a friends house where there were only boys drinking no girls). I can't really say what the exact moment we crossed from "boyfriend/girlfriend like" into "life partner love" but I'm very grateful it happened.

[blas87]

Not quite sure if my current bf is "The One" so to speak, as he really irritates me the greater majority of the time with some of his priorities (but then again, my unwillingness to leave my apartment and my preference of sleep over almost anything else drives him insane as well I suppose!), but it had to have been when he sheepishly asked me one day "Do you really like me?" and I said yes, and he said "Do you think you could one day love me?" and I melted. I don't remember what I said back.....probably "aksksdkelkradscmasdjkaskd;aslkdls!!!!" or he probably ended up scooping my jaw off the floor.

That and when he says "There is no possible way you could ever look bad. You're the prettiest girl in the entire world." I'm sure he doesn't really mean to go THAT far, but it makes me feel special :).

[Rappunzill]

I knew I loved my husband when I had completely freaked out and was sobbing over something, showing precisely how nuts I am for the first time, and he held me and told me he loved me.

I knew I loved a dear friend of mine when my stupid crush got out of the way, and I was able to see deeper emotions there.

I knew I loved another friend of mine when he told the guy I was dating (who was twice his size) that he would beat him up if he ever hurt me.

There are a couple of friends I knew I loved when my protective instincts kicked in, and I got angry on their behalf.

Love is a funny thing.

[Jester]

I knew I loved another friend of mine when he told the guy I was dating (who was twice his size) that he would beat him up if he ever hurt me.

There are a couple of friends I knew I loved when my protective instincts kicked in, and I got angry on their behalf.

:ot: I am very protective not only of my nieces but of many of my female friends as well. Case in point: the discussion I had with the Irish guy the other night who was making out with my female friend at the bar we were at, even though we believed he was gay (long story there). I threatened him at one point when they came up for air. Keep in mind that he was about 6' and 190 lbs., and I am a very nonthreatening 5'8" and 155 lbs. The basic conversation, which was very calm, went something like this:

JESTER: "If you're messing with her head, I will snap you like a twig."
IRISH GUY: "I'm Irish, and we don't take kindly to threats."
JESTER: "If you're Irish, then you of all people should understand looking out for and protecting your friends."
IRISH GUY: "Aye, that I DO understand. But I still don't like you telling me you're going to snap my neck."
JESTER: "I didn't say I was going to snap your neck. I said I was going to snap YOU like a twig. If you're not messing with her head, though, you have nothing to worry about."
IRISH GUY: "Fair enough. But don't threaten me."
JESTER: "Dude, if you hurt her, I won't threaten you. I will break you."

Surprisingly, no punches were thrown. It was actually kind of refreshing to find someone who wasn't intimidated by me....lately it's been too easy with the teen boys and Sleazy Mike. :lol:

A new corollary to Don't Fuck With Jester: Don't Fuck With Jester's Friends. :D

[blas87]

Not to threadjack, but Jester, really, don't take teenage boys' threats seriously (I'm sure you don't but they do have a way of frustrating people, don't they?!). They're just stupid little kids with too much testosterone. You're a grown man. Wit and intelligence send them scattering like cockroaches. Well, that and me with a nutcracker in my left hand....

[NightAngel]

When I met my hubby I was at the end of my divorce from Husband #1 and I had PROMISED myself I would NEVER get married again. (My divorce had been dragging on for about -or maybe over- a year at that time.)

Anyhoo...
I was at work and he walked in the door and I was smitten. First thing I thought as he walked towards me was, "I'm going to marry this man!"
Then I shook myself and reminded myself of the promise I'd made myself and wondered WTF? I didn't even know his name! I'd never seen him before!

We got married about a year later. :lol:

We've been together for about 10 years- married 7.
I guess it was love at first sight.
:D

[Jester]

Blas, either I typed it wrong or you read it wrong, but I wasn't talking about teenage boys making threats....I was talking about MY threatening THEM--specifically, the ones who are dating or who try to date my nieces. And the ones with no spine or bad intentions? I am scattering them, as you would say, like cockroaches.

Take them seriously? If one of them actually had the balls/nerve/brain damage to threaten ME? When I was done laughing my ass off, I might remove them from the gene pool.

[blas87]

I read it wrong, I had this picture in my head of a bunch of stupid teenage boys harrassing you while you were out and about. But good for you for sticking up for your neices like that. My apologizes, I need to practice what I preach and learn how to read :(

[piratemonkey]

At the risk of sounding stupid...I just knew. There wasn't any real moment of epiphany, or anything that triggered it. It was just a situation in which saying 'I love you' felt like the total truth. And that was it. I don't know if that sounds overly simple and perhaps as if I'm not sure of it, but I am.

[TNT]

When I was with Emmy, there were a lot of little things, but the big moment was at Barnes & Noble bookstore. It's hard to describe it in words, but we were just looking at books, and suddenly I looked into her eyes. For the first time, I noticed her eye color.. very green. And then she looked into mine and smiled. And we just stood in the middle of the aisle for what seemed liked forever. It seemed like we were in the middle of nowhere, without another person for a thousand miles.

It was the moment I knew how much I really cared about her... and the moment I was confident in how much she cared about me.

[gunsage]

The sex was good. Nuff said. :lol: You know, honestly, I can't remember quite when I started feeling like I did for my wife. It happened kinda suddenly...seemed more compulsive than anything, but I'm happy, what can I say? :)

[Jester]

We got married about a year later. :lol:

We've been together for about 10 years- married 7.

:confused: I must've missed something. I'm real good at math, but something here doesn't add up. Because you said you got married about a year after you first saw him. And then you say you've been with him for 10 years, but married only 7. If you got married a year after you saw him, and have been married 7, wouldn't that be EIGHT years together?

Did I miss a meeting or something?

[Pedersen]

Wow... Can do a long story here. Suffice to say that my wife said something to me when we met that made me stop and look at her... Dammit, just read the story here (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=18769) (BTW, no luck yet on that pendant).

When did I fall in love? I don't know if it was love at first sight, but it was damned close. Pretty sure I fell for her, and hard, within a week.

And now, married to her.

I suspect that part of the question was how did I know? Well, I can do a comparison, since I've been divorced once, as well.

The Ex: Had to remind myself to be happy at the wedding (why that wasn't enough to make me run, I'll never know).
Wife: Wanted to be there, wherever there turned out to be.

The Ex: Wanted kids. I was never "ready" for them.
Wife: She and I agree we don't want kids.

The Ex: Wanted to buy a house. Was never "ready" for that, either.
Wife: We bought a house almost a year ago.

The biggie, though:
The Ex: Never once was I able to imagine myself as an old man with her by my side.
Wife: I look forward to being an old old man with her by my side. Why? Because we'll have lived a good life together.

I see myself with her, always. Can't imagine life without her. Lightning bolt? No, not for love. Just to make me see her for the first time. After that, she never once left my heart.

[Misanthropical]

The first time I saw my now husband, I knew he was the one for me and I didn't even know his name yet! :eek:

We have been married 16 years now, so I was right. :p

[NightAngel]

Did I miss a meeting or something?

Nope, I've got an uber headache so I probably just misthought/mistyped the whole thing.

It was the end of 1996 when we met (December I believe).
Sometime in the Late Summer/Early Fall 1997 when we got together.
2000 when we got married.

We lived together for quite some time also before we got married so it kind of blurs together. It's probably more like we started living together about a year after we met.

To make sure I reverified the dates with my hubby just now and he says, "Yeah! Why? You tired of me already?" :rolleyes: :lol:

[MadMike]

Wish I could answer that. I stopped believing in love about 15 years ago. :(

[vonkarolinas]

For me it was when I found out that, not only did she LOVE Fight Club, but that she actually understood what it was actually about. Damn I love that girl.

[Rahmota]

For me it was when I realized that I could relax and let my shields down and not have to worry about being taken advantage of or used. That I could let her into myself without loosing anythign but gaining so much more.

[protege]

I can't really answer that question. Given my string of relationship disasters, I've simply given up on that idea.

[Misanthropical]

NO! One must NEVER lose hope in love! NEVER! I am convinced that love is what live is about. I am also convinced that if one goes through life without having been loved or have loved, then their life was pointless.

This is just my opinion though. It makes me sad when people give up on love.

[TNT]

.

This is just my opinion though. It makes me sad when people give up on love.

If that's true, then I'm in deeper trouble than I thought.

[Saydrah]

Well, I think I have the DORKIEST story here!

I'd known the guy who is now my main squeeze for a couple of months as sort of casual friends, we had a few classes together, but didn't really know much about him. One day I saw him wandering around quite confused looking, so I asked what happened- didn't take long to figure out that he had slipped on the ice outside and got a nice big cut on the back of his head along with a concussion leaving him totally dazed and confused- he sort of knew he was in the right building, and that it had to do with going to a class, but he couldn't really recall what class this was or what school he was at or anything specific.

I ended up skipping my class (dropping in to give a quick apology to the prof after class let out) to sit with him and keep him awake because I've had my share of head injuries and know you shouldn't go to sleep with a bonked head, washed and bandaided the cut on his head, and sat there while he chattered nonsensically and refused to let me drive him to a doctor's office.

Then all of a sudden I was like "Guh, why am I doing this for someone, I don't even LIKE people, especially injured babbling people..." then I was all "Oh.... shit."

See, I was kinda sorta maybe dating his best friend at the time. This was a problem, as best friend was not really open to poly. Ah, well, things worked out in the end, and almost 4 years later he's still grateful for me not letting him wander off into the blizzard outside with a concussion...

[Crazeyal]

The wife and I have had a pretty .. COLORFUL ride to matrimony.

If I haven't mentioned it before, I'm a gamer. Full blown D&D in the basement, shy around girls, social pariah NERD. THAT, however, led to me joining the Marines and adopting a BIT of a polar opposite in the personality dept.

Then I come back to NYC with a bald head, divorced parents and no place to live.

FUN...

Met the wife in the basement of a gaming store that I visited out of sheer boredom and loneliness. Gamer girls are hard to come by, but contrary to popular belief they DO exist. She was playing an old west RPG down in a damp dreery basement that eerily resembled a Dungeon. My future LOML didn't bother to look up from her character sheet as I silently waved "hello" to the players.

The GM had made some side comment about an NPC being attracted to her character, to which she muttered a grouchy comment about being a "Loser Magnet"

So.. I just HAD to pantomime getting pulled by some unseen force and clanging up against her side. I remember her first words to me like it was yesterday.


GET OFF ME!!!

(One of my best friends TOLD that damn story at our wedding:lol:)

It was NOT love at first sight.

Gamer girls get hit on. CONSTANTLY. Some of it's overt, some of it's Hyuck Hyuck high school stuff, some of it is passive aggressive rivalry! I was one of FOUR guys pursuing her!

She dated someone else.:cry:

After a year of dating other people (which led to us hanging out in a mutual hatred of the opposite sex), false starts and one disasterous misunderstanding (which led to the other gamers constantly pantomiming anti-aircraft weaponry) we ALMOST started dating.

But I wasn't going to mess it up.

I KNEW she was into me. I KNEW I could get somewhere with her. But I was content to take it slow. She came over my house .. just to hang out. I rubbed her back, and she about purred. She turned around to look at me... and I KNEW she wanted me to kiss her. So I kissed her forehead. The little lady got a confused look on her forehead... then she blushed like crazy. I sent her home with a wink.

The next day we had our first official date, rather than "hanging out". Of course, one of the gamer geeks couldn't take a hint (or defeat..) and WENT WITH US!! The entire date was spent trying to ditch him!!!

Back at the parking lot, getting ready to go home, we hugged and cuddled like we didn't want to let go. W FINALY looked each other in the eyes and leaned in for a kiss. I knew right then and there that I was not just in love with THIS woman, but THE WOMAN...

I was determined to do it right. It took 7 years of dating to work it all out. There were good times and hard times. I got scared here and there, that it might not happen. But a lifelong relationship takes BUILDING... GROWING... She grew up and so did I. We've been maried since 2000 and she tells me she loves me EVERY DAY.

[Saydrah]

Awwwww that's so cute!

I'm a gamer girl, but video games only- not tabletops. Maybe to get the ol' self esteem up I should start playing RPGs. More social interaction, more people to hit on me NOT over a computer screen = win. I was just whining to my SO a couple days ago that I don't get out much anymore and thus not enough people hit on me, and he suggested I go to the gym!

All 5'4" and 120 pounds of me chased him out of the house throwing soda cans before he fearfully explained that he didn't mean to imply anything about my in-shapeness or looks, just that whenever he gets hit on, it happens to be at the gym, so he figured if I wanted more empty flirting to pick up my mood, I should put on some cute workout shorts and hit the gym.

>_<

He's a great guy, but really, sometimes he oughta think before he speaks.

</off topic>

[blas87]

I hear ya loud and clear hun!

I'm struggling right now to start drinking more water. I've gone from drinking none a day to several bottles a day. I haven't quit soda pop, but I've cut down from 6-12 cans a day to 1 or 2. Which is great, right? I haven't lost any weight yet, though....and I'm hopping up and down like a constipated elephant trying to get my pants on and my bf says....

"Yeah, you really have gained some weight since we first started dating. I can't see your ribs anymore and you have a slight muffin top if you put your pants on right out of the dryer..."

He's lucky he still has his manly parts after he said that! Besides I'm still in fine shape, still thin, I may be 130-135 lbs right now but its not like I've let myself go totally.

[crazylegs]

Have yet to find it,

Have trouble convincing women I can be more than just 'a friend'

or undoing the trouble this particular phrase has caused

All men are like public toilets, the best ones are engaged, the rest are full of shit


Am enjoying being single at the moment, not sure how long it will last though.