This just pisses me off - chastising me for EVERYTHING!

[sld72382]

My co-workers seem to think they are helping me by chastising me.

Now people who know me know I'm a unique person. One thing about me is I refuse to follow trends. Yup, just call me a trend-bucker (I'm 25, FWIW). And I also am many times not politically correct. I also have several ideals and likes and dislikes, and preferences that people like to question and chastise me for - which I can't stand.

These are the things I got chastised for, just recently:

1. I don't like going to the beach, mainly because I hate sand and have a fear of jellyfish and sharks. For some reason, according to co-workers this is not a valid reason to not like going to the beach.

2. I would rather watch movies at home rather than a theater due to the absense of morons that seem to grace you with their presence in the theater, not to mention you can pause the movie at any time. Again, according to co-workers this is not a valid reason to not like going to the movies.

3. I like going home for lunch because I only live 10 minutes away, and when I come home my mom always has a home-cooked meal ready for me. One of my co-workers told me when I come home I should make my own lunch. I told her simply that my mom has it ready so I can eat, have a couple of minutes to myself then go back to work, and making it myself would force me to snarf my food down with barely enough time to go back to work. My co-worker said "that is an excuse to let mommy keep doing it."

4. I like old cars. Namely, the classic muscle cars. The only new cars I like are the retro V8 rear drive sports cars (Mustang, Challenger, Camaro). Co-workers said that's not what the ladies like, I should build a donk (those cars with those huge wheels) if given the chance. I simply told them that I would rather do real mods to a car (engine, trans and suspension) than to "gangsterize" it. Predictably, I got chastised because I'm "out of touch."

5. I live with my folks. Not because I'm freeloading (I'm actually paying some of the bills because my dad took a pay cut when we moved down south) but because the cost of living on your own is so damn high. And I want to do it right. Sorry, but I would rather live with my folks in a good area then to move into a cardboard box apartment in the middle of sh*tsville. And I refuse to get a roommate, I've heard way to many horror stories. Yet all this according to co-workers is "rationalizing to stay with mommy and daddy."

5a. Another requirement if I would move into my own place is the apartment has to have it's own washer and dryer. I don't like going to to "community laundry facilities" and laundromats because it gets expensive after awhile. Plus, I don't like going to laundromats because of past experiences - when we were in NY my mom tried 4 of them, and she was driven away by all of them because the clientèle was a bit seedy (I could see if it was 1, but 4?). According to co-workers I have an "I'm too good to go to a laundromat" attitude. Hey, I just don't like them.

This next one I'll try to be as politically correct as I can handle:

6. This one really grates my nerves. I'm an abstainer, wait for the right moment and the right girl kind of guy. At 25, you figure it out what that means. I refuse to date or "go far" with a woman I am not attracted to. Yet my co-workers are saying I don't deserve to have standards. During baseball season as a joke (so please CS'ers don't get mad!) I classed "looks" into 4 categories: pee-wee league (women that can be universally considered unattractive), minor league (below-average to average looking), major league (above average to quite attractive) and world series (flippin' gorgeous). Now I know world series is out of the question unless I win the lottery but I want a least an upper end of minor. What did co-workers say? They took a swipe at ME and said "you'll be lucky to get the minors." Sorry, but I refuse to lower my values simply to say I have a girlfriend.

ETA:

7. People who know me know I'm not the best person to deal with when I don't get sleep. I love sleep and need a least 6 hours otherwise I'm a wreck. Yet all I get from co-workers is "It's rediculous that a 25 year old needs 6 hours!" Hey, I don't like coming in to work looking like a zombie.

If this offends anyone I'm sorry but I just needed to vent.

[iradney]

There is nothing wrong with having certain standards. Preferring to stay with your parents and help them out with the bills is fine. Do you know how many people move out, live by themselves for a few years, then move back in with their parents because it's more financially viable? Loads!

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to sleep around and catch heavens knows what, or end up with an unwanted child.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to get enough sleep! Researchers, scientists and doctors the world over are saying we need at least 8 hours on average. So you're actually 2 hours below medical reccomendations! :)

I also hate the beach. I live in a country that has beautiful beaches, but I hate em. Sand in the ears, the nose, the hair, EVERYWHERE. Ice-cold water. Etc etc. Just coz it's there doesn't mean you HAVE to.

Going home for lunch is awesome. You're spending a little time with your mom everyday, chilling from work and having a healthy meal instead of fast food. Methinks they're jealous because their moms are too far away to do stuff like that.

Just ignore them. People generally fear that which they do not understand, and from what you've said about your coworkers, they must live under a rock, since they don't seem to understand ANYTHING!!

[Jester]

People have opinions. Lord knows I, of all people, know that. And your coworkers have their opinions. Now, they may mean well by it, or they may just be a bunch of overly opinionated jackasses. I don't know. I think you MIGHT be being a little too sensitive about what they are saying to you. That being said, if you like things in your life the way you like them, they can go take a flying leap if they don't think you are doing things the "right" way. One shouldn't go somewhere that one doesn't like just because people tell them to. One shouldn't have a certain type or style of car just because others think it's the "right" kind to attract women. Etc., etc., etc. If you are comfortable with everything you said about yourself, I have two words for your coworkers: fuck 'em. But I do think you need to stop taking everything they say so personally.

Now I know world series is out of the question unless I win the lottery but I want a least an upper end of minor.

And "world series" is out of the question why? I have never won the lottery, nor been wealthy in any financial sense, and I have been involved with some truly gorgeous women, both inside and out. The only women that are "out of your league" as they say are the women that you yourself put outside of your league. If you think you are only able to get or only deserving of "below average," well, that is in fact the best you'll do.

To me it sounds like you have some self-esteem issues. You are letting your coworkers' opinions get to you a little too much, more than you should perhaps. And you seem to think that you are only worthy of "minor league" or worse women. This whole thing is really not about your coworkers, but about yourself. It might be a good time to step back from the situation and look, not at those around you, but at yourself. Just a thought.

[SubwayGirl]

Don't let what others say bother you. (Easier said than done I know). I have a co-worker (actually an employee) that always tells me it is my problem how I react to what people. Not their problem for what they say to me. Last time she said that I told her I was going to react by putting my foot up her butt!

You sound just fine to me. Very responsible. I wish I was 25 :)

[Giggle Goose]

Everyone is going to have their opinion. It just kind of sucks when you have to see those people every day.

Who says THEIR lives are going off without a hitch, anyway? People make fun of me for being online a lot and think I should go out to gross bars all the time. Ditto on the living with the parents thing. I live with roomates now and they're ok, it's just not all it's cracked up to be.

People will be talking about you until the day you die. In fact, even after. I used to let it get to me, but I say screw it. I just made a few changes job and location-wise, and that's made a world of difference. But if you don't have a choice, just brush them off. If you're happy, just be happy. They probably have to criticize other people's lives to feel better about their own.

[MystyGlyttyr]

I get these things a lot. "Girls don't like wrestling, you should try having sex, it's stupid to be so opposed to women demanding equality when you're a woman!" (Without crossing too deeply into Fratching territory, I have no problem with women demanding equality. I have a problem with women saying "equality" but meaning "preferential.")

This the exact answer I always give these people.

"You're just mad because I'm happy with my life and you're not." :p (Include the raspberry! It makes the joke!)

Said just jokingly enough that well-meaning people get the hint, and bitches hear the bit of self-truth and either get pissed off or slink away with their tail between their legs.

[Boozy]

I refuse to date or "go far" with a woman I am not attracted to.

You'd be amazed at how beautiful some so-called unattractive women can be once you get to know them.

Sometime attraction comes with time. Most people don't experience love at first sight, and some people don't even experience attraction at first sight.

I would hate to see you refuse a date with someone you don't find attractive immediately. Dates are for getting to know someone. You might be missing out on some great relationships, or at the very least, just some fun evenings out!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Your coworkers sound like tools.

People with low/no standards like to make sure others are no better than they are so they can continue to feel okay about being losers. What they think should not matter to you, because they are losers. They have problems with you because you aren't content to be like them while they ARE content to be like them.

Ignore them.

[Emrld]

I agree with what many have said here . . .it is your life and you are the one living it . . .not them. Ergo it doesn't need to make anyone but, you happy.

You say that your Mom has a hot lunch ready for you. That is great. I see nothing wrong with that. There is no need for you to answer this question . . . .are you making sure that she knows how much you appreciate her doing this? (actually saying thank you, helping with the dishes, making an occasional dinner for Dad and her, bringing her a card and or flower just because) Not saying that you need to do any of those things . . .but they would be nice.

Helping your parents out with the bills is great. Saving up to be on your own even better. I am a single female a few years older than you and own my own house . . .I was about two years older than you are now when I bought it.

You don't have to rationalize to anyone why you don't enjoy something like going to the beach or movies at a theater. End of the day they are things that you don't enjoy and that is all there is too it. Life is too short to be filled with things that don't bring you joy.

Your personal relationships are just that - personal - between you and the person you are with. Details do not need to be shared with anyone else. I am a firm beliver in not doing anything you are not comfortable or want to do. Never let anyone push you into taking things physically further than you are ready for. I do however suggest that if you are dating someone make it as clear to them as you are comfortable what your views on physical relations are. I once hung out with a guy who due to religious beliefs didn't ever attempt to kiss me or hold my hand . . .I think we hugged once. However, he thought that we were dating . . .and never discussed any of this with me. He saw me out with someone else one night and well he got hurt and I felt horrible. (just saying communication can help prevent some situations in the future)

As for cars . . .my first car (at 16) was a 1972 Chevrolet Chevel SS with a 350 under the hood red with black racing stripes and a black vinyl hard top . . . muscle cars do rev some girls engines . . . .personally as long as the guy maintains his car (keeps the inside and outside clean, vehicle is safe etc) I am impressed.

As for your co-workers - try to let what they say slide off your back . . . they may just be getting a rise out of you, it may be jealousy, or they may be step-ford and don't know how to be independent thinkers like yourself. (and yes, brains are a turn on for many women of all leagues :D )

[FuzzyKitten99]

I admire you for your choice to abstain rather than play Russian Roulette with contraceptives and condoms that don't always work. It takes a real man to do what you are doing, with the confidence in your own choice. It is sad that this is considered abnormal, when the population would be a whole lot healthier and probably happier, if more people did this same thing.

Live your life the way it makes sense for you, not by everyone else's standards. If your parents need that extra boost and you are willing to help them out, Kudos! You are helping with expenses, so it isn't like you are really freeloading.

oh, and muscle cars are to me like jewelry is to high-maintenence girls. I love to get under the hood of the old-school cars and get dirty and greasy. If I was single, I would certainly ask for your number!

[Jester]

As for cars . . .muscle cars do rev some girls engines . . .

And the important thing is to watch out for girls that ask the Wrong Question.

What is the Wrong Question?

"What kind of car do you have?"

Most of the time, the translation to the above question is "How much do you make?" These are not the women you want to be around.

Before any of you girls jump my shit, notice I said "most of the time." I do realize that some girls are actually interested in the car itself. You can usually tell the difference between the two types by the way they pose the question.

As for all the rest of it, I have already commented extensively (don't I usually?), but I want to reiterate, as long as you are happy with the way you are living your life, who gives a shit what other people say? A lot of people think I am strange because I often go to the movies (in the theater) by myself, because I read a lot of books about serial killers, because I like to cook, because I like raw fish, because I like petite girls, because the first thing I notice on women is their hair....but you know what? That is what makes me me, and I could give two flying farts what other people think.

Stop letting it bother YOU so much.

[BookstoreEscapee]

1. I don't like the beach either, and I live 1/2 an hour away from it. I have pale skin and burn easily, I don't like sand in my orifices, and I don't like swimming in salt water. I like it at night for the proverbial romantic walk and such, but that's about it.

2. I don't blame you.

3. Assuming you are capable of feeding yourself if your mom isn't home, and you don't have a tantrum if she's not there to feed you, and she does it because she likes to and not because she "has to," I see no problem with this.

4. "Not what the ladies like"? Personally, I couldn't care less about cars but I think all that "gangsterized" stuff (as you put it) looks dumb. What I would find interesting is the fact that you have a real interest in something that makes you happy, and something that not everyone does. (My town has Cruise Night in the summer where everyone brings out the old cars...everything from classic muscle cars to Model-Ts.)

5. Living with your folks at 25, and especially contributing to the household and not just sponging, is not a big deal. I moved out for the first time at 25. I moved back a year later and just a couple weeks ago moved out again. I'm 32. I didn't pay any of their bills, but I did pay rent and my share of the cell phone (which is the 2nd line on my dad's plan). Granted, it was less rent than I'll ever find on my own, but I still paid it, and also any food that was just for me, in addition to picking up milk and whatnot for the house at least half the time.

5a. I don't have laundry in my apartment complex. There is a laundromat across the street but I haven't checked it out yet. I brought my laundry with me when I went to my parents' for dinner on Sunday. I am a little afraid of the laundromat, plus all those quarters add up.

6. Ignoring your league system...I, too, am a person who does not get into a physical relationship or date someone just to have a boyfriend. I have only slept with guys I was in serious relationships with. There haven't been that many of them. You have to have standards (did they really say you don't "deserve" to have standards?! :eek:) Granted, some people have lower standards than others. That said, I agree with Boozy...sometimes you have to go beyond the physical. My most recent ex is not exactly a Greek god, but he has a great personality and the more I got to know him the more attractive he was in all aspects. Not saying you shouldn't have standards, but don't write off the "average" girl who makes you happy. She might be beautiful on second look.

7. I usually get around 6 hours sleep. I need more and I tend to make it up on Saturday (and then I end up with a massive sinus headache). My sleep deficit is usually my own fault - I am a night owl and am in the habit of staying up until midnight, even when I fully intend to go to bed earlier. I can stay up later but my alarm goes off at 6. Lack of sleep is associated with everything from car accidents to learning difficulties to mood swings to lost productivity to obesity. Most docs recommend 8 hours but some people need a little more or less to be at their best. If 6 hours works for you, great. (And who are these people who think that 6 hours is a lot?!)

[sld72382]

Thanks for the replies guys. For the record, I really don't care what they think. I do my own thing. I just wanted to vent on the fact that it was so stupid how they're chastising me in the first place.

[sld72382]

6. Ignoring your league system...I, too, am a person who does not get into a physical relationship or date someone just to have a boyfriend. I have only slept with guys I was in serious relationships with. There haven't been that many of them. You have to have standards (did they really say you don't "deserve" to have standards?! ) Granted, some people have lower standards than others. That said, I agree with Boozy...sometimes you have to go beyond the physical. My most recent ex is not exactly a Greek god, but he has a great personality and the more I got to know him the more attractive he was in all aspects. Not saying you shouldn't have standards, but don't write off the "average" girl who makes you happy. She might be beautiful on second look.

Yep, they really said I don't deserve to have standards. :rolleyes:

See, I would provide a link to my plentyoffish.com profile (because I have pics on there) but I'm afraid to because if a mole from my call center is lurking here, he/she could see it's me, and it might get back to management and I could get sacked for posting here. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

IMO, women generally have less concern about looks than guys. It's just the way it is. I've seen some women with guys that make you think "why is she with him?"
It's probably because he has other qualities that make up for his lack of looks. Just so people know BTW, I've seen some girls that other people say to me "you really think she's hot?" that I think are quite attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.

[Jester]

I've seen some girls that other people say to me "you really think she's hot?" that I think are quite attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.

I totally understand that. Many people will question what I think is hot.

My friend D-Rod, for instance, thinks I am completely insane for my obsession with Kirsten Dunst. I think she's hot....D-Rod thinks she looks like she's drugged out on heroine. It's always an amusing conversation.

[auntiem]

IMO, women generally have less concern about looks than guys. It's just the way it is. I've seen some women with guys that make you think "why is she with him?"


Most likely because he is really funny. Or a drummer (oh, wait I've outgrown that phase).

On the laundromats - I was trying to find a link to the studies they have done in laundromats. Seriously disgusting bacteria, mold - you name it. I'm not a germaphobe by any means, but I won't use a laundromat unless I get really desperate (I'll handwash and line dry first).

[sld72382]

I totally understand that. Many people will question what I think is hot.

My friend D-Rod, for instance, thinks I am completely insane for my obsession with Kirsten Dunst. I think she's hot....D-Rod thinks she looks like she's drugged out on heroine. It's always an amusing conversation.

A while back a webboard chastised me for admitting I had a mega-sized crush on Katharine McPhee. Nowadays people want to know why I like Kim Kardashian exactly.

[Jester]

And I haven't the foggiest freakin' clue who either of them are, to be honest.

[sld72382]

Katharine McPhee was runner up to Taylor Hicks on season 5 of American Idol. Kim Kardashian is the daughter of the late Robert Kardashian, one of OJ's trial lawyers.

[XCashier]

4. I like old cars. Namely, the classic muscle cars. The only new cars I like are the retro V8 rear drive sports cars (Mustang, Challenger, Camaro). Co-workers said that's not what the ladies like,
Hey, I'm a lady and I love classic cars! ;) Your coworkers haven't got a clue.

Everybody is different, everybody has their own tastes. Introducing someone to something you like is one thing, telling them their stuff sucks and your stuff rules is quite another. As long as nobody's getting hurt and no laws are being broken, do your own thing and to hell with the naysayers.
(My town has Cruise Night in the summer where everyone brings out the old cars...everything from classic muscle cars to Model-Ts.)
Ooh! If your town wasn't all the way across the continent, I'd be there! :D

[Saydrah]

Checking in as another girl who loves muscle cars. My godmother, who was my hero and shaped so much of who I am, introduced me to them. She loved old Camaros- I'm a Trans Am girl, personally, but I hate most new cars, too!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

By the way, as for dating goes, I've always played by my own rules, I don't care much about other people's expectations, and it was a very well known fact that I was an ice queen that never put out.

Most of the guys I knew or who had met me in passing wanted to date me anyway, so evidently, that rep didn't hurt my social life.

I ended up getting exactly who and what I wanted, and on my terms.

There's no reason to comprimise. Anyone doesn't like how you play the game, they can get bent. You aren't here for them.

[FuzzyKitten99]

4. "Not what the ladies like"? Personally, I couldn't care less about cars but I think all that "gangsterized" stuff (as you put it) looks dumb. What I would find interesting is the fact that you have a real interest in something that makes you happy, and something that not everyone does. (My town has Cruise Night in the summer where everyone brings out the old cars...everything from classic muscle cars to Model-Ts.)

my town does this too, but every saturday from June 1 thru Sept 1 (appx) as a summer thing, to get people out into the town and spending money at the local estab's. One of the best places to sit and see the cars is Serum's, where they have an outdoor balcony that you can still hear the live band playing.

[Sylvia727]

By the way, as for dating goes, I've always played by my own rules, I don't care much about other people's expectations, and it was a very well known fact that I was an ice queen that never put out.

:ot:

I'm the ice queen, but my roomie is the, uh, she-pimp. So I get drunk guys banging on my door in the middle of the night to "talk" to her. A few have mistaken me for her, which suggests that they're really drunk or that her reputation precedes her. (I'm tall, she's short; I'm large, she's petite; I'm white, she's mulatto; et cetera). Since my roomie almost always sleeps in another guy's room, I then have to convince them to push off and stop bothering me.

I wish I had a rep for not putting out; or if I already do, then I wish men could remember who I am and who I am not.