Stuff I've learned from weddings

[iradney]

So I just got back from a wedding - which was fabulous, by the way, and it got me thinking on other weddings I've been to, helped with etc etc.

1)Wedding Couple: If your friend does all the duties of a bridesmaid, make her a bridesmaid!
1a) If you do not make her a bridesmaid, at least mention her in the thankyou speeches and give her a gift dammit! (not me, but happened to a buddy of mine).

2) Wedding Couple: If people have travelled to see you get married, don't ask them to drive another 40 miles or so to the reception area, and BRING THEIR OWN FOOD! At least fork out for some hotdogs or something.

3) Wedding Couple: If you have to have kids at the wedding, at least ask the parents to control them. Having to do the "Oh heck I hope I don't get knocked into by a 6 year old on a sugar rush" dance while walking from the buffet, is NOT fun.

4) Wedding Couple: Yes, having photographs of your wedding is a must. You'll be able to look at them fondly on your 60th Wedding Anniversary. But is it really necessary to take nearly THREE hours to do them? Half the guests left the reception without getting to sign the guestbook because they got sick of waiting.

5) Wedding Couple: I would recommend at the very least a rehearsal, so that you can know what the priest will say. One couple had a priest do an "off the cuff" spiel, spattered with ums, aahs and long pauses. Plus, it was rather inappropriate for them, as they were both feminists, and he was going on about how the wife must "submit" to the husband the way the Church "submits" to Christ.

6) Guests: If the wedding invite says "NO CHILDREN", it means NO CHILDREN. Not "NO children, except for yours of course". The wedding I was just at had the No Children blurb in the invite. A family member of the bride brought their baby. This was an evening reception. The baby was tired. They couldn't put her down for sleeping as it was noisy, and lots of people moving around. Baby was irritable and voiced it often. Bride and Groom were caught clenching jaws when that happened.

7)Wedding Couple: Having a seating plan. Otherwise, this results in everyone rushing the reception room to get a table with their bestest friends, chairs being taken from other tables, and just general chaos.

8) Guests: Don't bitch and complain if there's a cash bar at the reception. Yes, booze is expensive. But you can fork out for that since they paid for the reception hall, decorations, food, hiring of china, glasses and cutlery, not to mention those nifty little gifts they call "Favours". Not everyone likes to drink till they puke, thank you very much.

9) Guests: Don't RSVP No and then still pitch up anyway. You will get bounced. (I had to do that at another friend's wedding).

10) Guests: Don't invite other people that are not on the invitation. Sometimes the wedding couple cannot invite absolutely everyone that they know. Deal with it. It's THEIR day, not yours!

11) Guests: Don't RSVP Yes and not pitch up. That's just plain rude. My Mother would beat you with her old handbag if she knew you.

12) Guests: Please don't walk off with the table decorations. They're not always up for grabs, if they are it's generally announced. Thanks to you, the wedding couple probably just lost their deposit.

Any horror stories you wish to share??

[PuckishOne]

2) Wedding Couple: If people have travelled to see you get married, don't ask them to drive another 40 miles or so to the reception area, and BRING THEIR OWN FOOD! At least fork out for some hotdogs or something.

I flew to Las Vegas for a "planned" wedding - I know, who the hell plans a wedding in Vegas?! The couple chose the Bellagio hotel for the shindig, but apparently thought they could still be budget-minded, because for the first hour or so of the 'reception' there was no food to be had. More than a few guests nipped out to the nearest buffet in the meantime.


4) Wedding Couple: Yes, having photographs of your wedding is a must. You'll be able to look at them fondly on your 60th Wedding Anniversary. But is it really necessary to take nearly THREE hours to do them?

Same wedding: After the ceremony, the bride abruptly and rudely banished everyone who was not immediate family from the chapel so that photos could be done. The rest of us shuffled off to the foodless reception (see above), where we waited another 2 hours before bride, groom, and hors d'oeuvres turned up.

5) Wedding Couple: I would recommend at the very least a rehearsal, so that you can know what the priest will say.

When Mr Puck and I tied the knot, we were adamant about having as secular a service as possible. I highly recommend to anyone wanting this that you consider the environment you're getting married in as well as the officiant. We got married in the Bahamas, a conservative, Christian environment, so although the minister was more than happy not to "go all Jesus" on us, he did sprinkle in a few things that made us glance at each other and smirk. In hindsight, we realized that there was probably no way we'd have been able to get the exact thing we wanted, and it was partially our fault for having chosen the location without considering the climate (so to speak).

[Jester]

As a DJ of weddings for four years, I have a few thoughts on the matter.

--If you as the wedded couple are going to be a little stressed, or think you are (and most of you will be) it might be a good idea to have one or more of your bridal party be a "liaison" with the caterer, DJ, reception hall, limo driver(s), band, florists, etc. Delegating responsibilities to these people is a good thing, as it will take much stress off of you. If you have someone that is a detail person and is good at such things, and willing to do it, let them handle paying said people, organizing with them, etc. And let the vendors/entertainers in question know who they'll be dealing with. I handled the DJ for a friend's wedding, having some experience in that area, but the DJ, even though he was told about this, seemed surprised to be dealing with me. That was on him, not the couple, but still....it helps to let them know.

--If you as a guest receive an invite that says "You plus one" that means you or you plus one...period. Don't bring three of your drunken friends as your plus one. That is beyond rude.

--My personal suggestion to the Couple is that, if you can afford it, an open bar is always better than a cash bar. Not everyone can afford this or is willing to swing for this, however, so if that is the case, please make sure that the guests know that it will in fact be a cash bar.

--If there are children in your wedding, you might want to consider cutting the ceremony down from three and a half hours. Children are not the most patient people in the world. Just a thought.

--Guests: Don't try to get your way just because you think you are more important than you are. Stating loudly that you are "the cousin of the bride" will get you exactly nowhere. You, sir, are way down the list of people that are important, unless the bride designated you as someone important. (In the actual scenario where this happened to me, she hadn't.)

--Everyone: the bride is the most important person in the room. Do not try to upstage her. It is rude. Also, do not ask the DJ/band/caterer/hall whatever to do something and continue to insist on it even after you have been told that the bride wishes otherwise. This is not only rude, but stupid.

--Bride: you are the most important person in the room. But don't let this go to your fucking head. No one likes a bridezilla.

--Couple: be flexible in some of your plans. If you have a plan for an outdoor wedding, and it happens to be hurricane or monsoon season, you just might want to have an alternative rain plan in place. Mother Nature is notorious for not giving a rat's ass about your wedding plans.

--Everyone: if you bring your kids, control your kids. Having your "angelic" six year old playing rambunctiously by a tripod that is supporting a 70+ pound speaker not only distracts the DJ from the job he is supposed to be doing, it is downright dangerous.

Couple/DJ liaison: When you give the list of the bridal party names to the DJ for the grand entrance, give it to them phonetically....don't worry about the spelling. The only person that is going to see the spelling is the DJ, and it is better for him to pronounce Miss Jablinskeigh's name correctly than have it spelled right.

DJ: Do not ignore the music that the bride and groom want you to play just because you don't like it. They are paying you. You are a musical whore. You don't have to play every Alice in Chains song they requested, but if they are big fans and told you so, you just might want to play some of it. And if the guests give you grief about "what is this crap?" the answer is simple: requests by the bride. Anyone arguing with that is an idiot.

By the same token, DJs, do NOT play anything that the bride and groom specifically told you NOT to play, no matter how often/insistently someone else may request it. If the bride said no "Achy Breaky Heart" we best NOT be hearing Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus! They are paying you. You are a musical whore. Don't piss off your musical john. (This is why I once played "Friends in Low Places" THREE times at one wedding. They wanted it, I played it. I HATED it, but I DID it.)

Guests: Use some common sense with your travel plans. If the Couple is getting married at 6 on Saturday, booking a flight that is scheduled to land at 4 on Saturday is just downright stupid. Plan ahead. The airlines, like Mother Nature, are notorious in not giving a rat's ass about the wedding that is so important to you.

Anyone giving a toast: If you are not good at speaking off the cuff, it is alright to write down your toast ahead of time. Likewise, if you ARE a good off the cuff speaker, it seems silly for you to write down your toast. 99% of the time, you knew ahead of time you would be giving a toast. Plan accordingly. And while no one expects you to be sober, please, if you can't be coherent, politely bow out, explaining why to the Couple. I'm sure they don't want you speaking if you are that hammered anyway.

To people who help the Couple organize the wedding: Please, don't be like my older sister The Witch. If you are good at organizing stuff and/or the Couple asked you to help with this or that, be polite. You do not have to steamroll the staff/entertainers/vendors and be a complete raving bitch. There is already one of The Witch. Don't make it more. You're dealing with professionals. Be polite, and trust them to do their jobs.

[Knightmare]

I have learned NOT to take a date to a wedding. Well, not one that you are serious about, anyway.

I took my at-the-time gf to a wedding. I was CRAZY about her. Truly, Madly, Deeply in love. Well, we went to the wedding. A few months later, it was over.

Another wedding, another gf. We broke up 2 months later.

Yet another wedding, yet another gf. Yup. Broke up only days after the wedding.

So now, when I am invited to a wedding, I will take a friend, or go stag.

[Jester]

Knight, I think that might just be something with you....I have never had a problem taking a date to a wedding, and I have seen many other people, friends and acquaintances, bring dates to a wedding and stay together long after the fact.

I would actually say it the opposite of the way you did....if you bring a date to a wedding, don't have it be someone you have just gotten involved with, or are only casual with. Either go with a friend, go stag, or go with a date if you are SERIOUS about them.

But that's just my experience. Your mileage may vary.

Ironic note: Twice I have caught the garter. I have yet to be married.

[PuckishOne]

Mother Nature is notorious for not giving a rat's ass about your wedding plans.

This gets my vote for Best Plan B Ever: Couple plans an outdoor wedding in the San Juan Islands of Washington State, in September. No contingency plan for rain - chairs set out nicely on the lawn, no awnings, nothing.

Of course, it rains.

To the rescue come several groomsmen and relatives with giant golf umbrellas. Enough brollies are rustled up to allow the entire wedding party and immediate family to stay dry, while the rest of us (most of whom had brought raingear!) looked on. Wedding went off without a hitch...AND, because the golf umbrellas were all TaylorMade brand, someone had the notion to send a photo of the wedding party to the company, which then gave the bride and groom free golf gear!!

Now THAT is what I call making the best of it!! :)

[SnapAddict218]

At my girlfriends wedding a few years back the ceremony was held in one city and the reception held in her parent’s home town (about 30 miles away), at the run down, smoky, dirty, cruddy old old old vets club. Her dad got it for free and she had to use it even though it was a shithole. Her mother [intentionally] slipped wrong directions to the reception into the invites (telling them to go the opposite way out of town than they needed to go), so several friends of the bride and most of the groom’s extended family were MIA. The few that called and had their directions corrected were met with death glares from the brides mother. The dinner started immediately upon arrival and the bar was closed down for the entire meal. This meant that not only was alcohol not available, but any other beverages were also not available. Most people ate with out a beverage since dinner started before most people even arrived. Dinner was over promptly at 5pm, and the staff started clearing tables while people were scrambling to finish their food. The dance however wasn’t to start until 8pm, which meant that there was 3 hours of nothing to do, in a town on 600 people. We all walked up the street and killed time in the stinky hill billy run hole in the wall bar until dance time. The parents booked the band, which played music that only the older generation of the bride’s side of that family enjoyed (think cheesy to the max). To top that all off, the bride’s parents charged $10 at the door to get back in for the “dance”. (This was how they planned on paying for the band!) Members of the wedding party ONLY “got in free”, but everyone else had to pay. Bride and parents could not understand why only 15 people at the dance (including bride groom, parents and wedding party.)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

She might not give a rat's ass, but sometimes she smiles.

Some friends got married outside in August at dusk. Which is usually a broiler, but the frequent rains had cooled it off that day. Still, storm clouds hovered threateningly and everyone's fingers were crossed that the rain would hold off just a little longer.

Just as they kissed, the clouds broke apart and let georgeous spills of golden sunlight streak down. The sudden light made the birds in the fruit trees flanking the altar burst into song.

Wow! :lol: Disney princess wedding!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Her mother [intentionally] slipped wrong directions to the reception into the invites (telling them to go the opposite way out of town than they needed to go), so several friends of the bride and most of the groom’s extended family were MIA. The few that called and had their directions corrected were met with death glares from the brides mother.

What, exactly, gave her the right to do that? :pissed:

Anyhow, at my cousin's wedding about 15 years ago one of my uncles had a little too much to drink, the bartender cut him off, and other family members started dropping hints and trying to make arrangements to take him home (He didn't drive because he lost his license due to a DUI conviction).

Right then uncle throws a punch at my dad, which results in him and other male relatives throwing uncle to the floor and holding him there until the cops came.

Unfortunately that is the only thing people seem to remember about the wedding.

[Eireann]

Okay, I do have to disagree with one thing Jester said.

The bride is not the most important person in the room. The bride AND GROOM are the most important PEOPLE in the room. It's his day every bit as much as it is hers. No, he didn't go dress shopping all over several states and possibly a few foreign countries. That doesn't make the day any less important in his life than in hers.

As for cash bars, the people on the Etiquette Hell site generally agree that these are in poor taste. Unless the wedding is a very low-key affair and the guests are all local people, the chances are excellent that the guests have spent a great deal of money just to be there - buying a gift, selecting the proper clothing to wear (sometimes a guest will buy an outfit specifically to wear to the wedding), making hotel reservations, buying plane tickets, fueling up the car, what have you. Not to mention possibly taking time off work. I also think it's tacky to expect the guests to pay for whatever they're drinking.

Alcohol does not have to be served at a wedding. Don't freak out over not having enough different types of booze. Just don't serve alcohol, and unless you've invited someone who's smuggled in a keg or something, you also won't have to worry about guests getting smashed and raising hell.

If you don't want children at your wedding, you MUST make it clear to all guests who have children. Some guests may not be able to afford a babysitter, or may have babies who are too young to be left with a sitter, and there are always those who believe that the world revolves around their kids and that said kids are welcome everywhere. It's suggested that someone closely connected with the bride and/or groom field questions about children. Some people even have the nerve to RSVP putting their own names, the names of a significant other, and the names of their children, when only ONE name was on the invitation. This is where the close relative of the bride or groom nips this behavior in the bud. I've even seen suggestions of having "bouncers" turn away guests who have brought uninvited people of any age. And I've heard of people actually doing it.

Brides: Yes, it's the most important day in your life, as it should be. Don't tarnish it by choosing the ugliest dresses you can find for your bridesmaids to wear, in the mistakes belief that you will then look all the better. It'll only make you look worse, because everyone will know that YOU chose the dresses. And the uglier the dresses are, the more attention will be paid to the bridesmaids, rather than the bride.

Elope. Don't have much money? Don't give a flying f*ck about big white weddings? Elope. I went through the hysteria of my sisters' weddings. If I ever get married, we're putting on our best clothes and heading down to the nearest justice of the peace. Or we'll arrange to get married in Venice, a city I love. Hey, if you're going to piss off ONE person by not inviting him/her, you might as well do 'em all in one fell swoop. Then have a big party later.

Registries. Don't get the scan gun in your hot little hands and scan everything in the store, including the employees. Go easy on your guests. They may not WANT to buy you an entire kitchen as a wedding gift, even if they can afford it. Also, if you've been living together for years and already have everything you need, just choose a few select items that you can have as keepsakes; don't sign up for gifts that will restock your entire house.

DON'T flip out because the flowers aren't exactly the right shade, the napkins don't match the centerpieces, the butt bows on the bridesmaid's dresses are slightly off-kilter. Nobody cares. And you shouldn't either. Nothing short of a major catastrophe deserves a major meltdown.

Invite the people who are closest to you, the people you love, the people with whom you want to share the most special day of your life. Don't invite them because you think they'll give you an expensive gift. Likewise, don't invite some people to the wedding, and some people only to the reception. No "A" and "B" lists allowed.

Don't invite ANYONE because you think it's expected of you. Got a relative or an acquaintance whom you know will do everything s/he can to ruin the day? DON'T BOTHER TO INVITE HIM/HER. Do everything you can to make sure s/he doesn't know about the wedding at all. Don't cave in to the wishes of ANYONE who insists that this person be there. It's YOUR wedding. You have every right to invite only the people you want to share your day with you. Stand up for your rights!

Relax. It's the most special day of your life. It's too special to fritter away with worries and vague regrets. Keep a sense of humor about it.

Don't let others dictate ANYTHING about your wedding. If the bride wants a man as her attendant and the groom wants a woman as his, go for it! Don't let Aunt Shirley nag you into having five bridesmaids and five groomsmen in matching colors because "that's how it's done". Have the people you want near you.

I'm sure I'll think of more.

[Jester]

Okay, I do have to disagree with one thing Jester said.

The bride is not the most important person in the room. The bride AND GROOM are the most important PEOPLE in the room. It's his day every bit as much as it is hers.

I agree, actually. However, most people view the bride as the most important person, rightly or wrongly. When it comes to requesting songs from the DJ or getting this or that done by the caterer or whatever, people will often up their standing by saying "I am this of the bride" or what not. However unfair it is, the groom often gets short shrift. That being said, as most grooms don't want to have much say in the planning of the wedding, and most brides do, most grooms don't have much of a problem with this set up. Myself, when/if I get married, there are going to be just a few minor things I insist on. But I WILL insist on them.

Nothing short of a major catastrophe deserves a major meltdown.

I DJ'd one wedding in Tucson where the caterer didn't show up....and neither did the food. THAT was bad. But the bridal party had a sense of humor about it, some groomsmen went out and got some coldcuts and a deli spread, and everyone had fun. Though I am sure that the caterer got majorly ripped later, appropriately so.

If the bride wants a man as her attendant and the groom wants a woman as his, go for it!

My little sister's husband's "best man" was a woman.

When/if I get married, my "best man" will be my best friend Neets, who is also a woman. When I was engaged, and I first tagged her with this label, we tried to come up with an alternative title for it. We failed miserably. She is simply going to be my Best Man, period. She said as long as she is allowed to wear a dress, she doesn't care WHAT we call her. :lol:

[technical.angel]

On a related note, www.etiquettehell.com

[Eireann]

I read the Etiquette Hell page every day. Some of the breaches of etiquette are jaw-droppingly awful, such as the saga of "Aunt Marge". Now, THAT one is simply epic in its horrendousness.

There's one classic story where a woman posted about a wedding she attended that she thought was simply horrible. Bitch, bitch, bitch, throughout the post.

What was so terrible about it?

- The bride and groom had attendants rather than maids/men, and the attendants were - get ready for it! - wearing their best clothing, rather than matching, one-wear-only outfits, and they were uneven in number.

- There were sheet cakes made by the bride's friends, rather than a fancily decorated wedding cake.

- The guest didn't like the decorations.

- No alcohol was served.

- There were no printed invitations; the bride wrote letters - handwritten! - to invite her guests. (I, myself, would be OVERJOYED to receive an invitation like that, but Bitch Guest felt it was tacky.)

- There was no DJ.

Bitch Guest was hauled over the coals by the site administrator - who, however, is not above committing her own egregious breaches of etiquette, as proven by her snotty remarks about people who throw their own birthday parties - and quite a few members of the site have mentioned that they love weddings where the happy couple aren't bound by tradition.

[Eireann]

Oh, yes, one thing that I just remembered, VERY funny.

Benny Hill once did a skit titled "The Streaker's Ball". I don't remember the whole skit, but I do remember Hill talking about a streaker's wedding, where everyone could tell who the best man was. :lol:

[Jester]

I do remember Hill talking about a streaker's wedding, where everyone could tell who the best man was.

This is why if I ever have a nudist wedding, I am not inviting my friend The Hose, as much as I love him and value his friendship.

Trust me when I say that no one would be focused on the bride OR the groom.

I did not choose the handle I use for him here lightly, folks. :lol:

[Eireann]

Damn you, Jester!

I KNOW I'm not going to sleep tonight... either laughing or... never mind.

God, I can hardly breathe....

[Jester]

Some of the breaches of etiquette are jaw-droppingly awful, such as the saga of "Aunt Marge".

Care to post a link to that particular story? :D

[auntiem]

This gets my vote for Best Plan B Ever: Couple plans an outdoor wedding in the San Juan Islands of Washington State, in September. No contingency plan for rain - chairs set out nicely on the lawn, no awnings, nothing.

Of course, it rains.

To the rescue come several groomsmen and relatives with giant golf umbrellas. Enough brollies are rustled up to allow the entire wedding party and immediate family to stay dry, while the rest of us (most of whom had brought raingear!) looked on. Wedding went off without a hitch...AND, because the golf umbrellas were all TaylorMade brand, someone had the notion to send a photo of the wedding party to the company, which then gave the bride and groom free golf gear!!

Now THAT is what I call making the best of it!! :)
Cute story! But what were they thinking? My sis got married on Orcas and she had a "rain plan". Every couple I know that has an outdoor wedding here has a "rain plan" regardless of time of year.

I add to the thread this:
- Don't break your leg before your sister's wedding or your Mom will make you wear black stockings over your cast so you look like you have elephantitis in all the wedding pictures.
- If you don't haul your SO across the country to attend every cousin's wedding relatives will believe you are "making him up" if you do drag him they will spend the whole reception pestering you about when you'll be getting married.
- Kilts are commonly worn at formal events in my family. If you are from the other side please do not spend the reception giggling at our men or they will kick your ass and not share their whiskey.

[Rapscallion]

6) Guests: If the wedding invite says "NO CHILDREN", it means NO CHILDREN. Not "NO children, except for yours of course". The wedding I was just at had the No Children blurb in the invite. A family member of the bride brought their baby. This was an evening reception. The baby was tired. They couldn't put her down for sleeping as it was noisy, and lots of people moving around. Baby was irritable and voiced it often. Bride and Groom were caught clenching jaws when that happened.


Reminds me of the wedding I went to this summer. It wasn't a 'no children' event, but I was sat next to a female acquaintance and her child - he might have been roughly a year old? This was in one of those quaint ancient Roman Catholic churches in the middle of the English countryside - stained glass windows coming out of its ears. Lovely architecture. The priest was such a saintly man, I didn't believe it was real - I suspected he was a ninja beneath those robes.

The youngster, however, was determined to fill all and any gaps in the noise with his own entertainment, no matter what his mother and I did. At one point I held up a finger to my lips, and he grabbed it and tried to bite. I heard teeth clash, folks. A little later I pointed (discreetly as possible) up to a rather graphic representation of crucifixion - anguished looks, blood from head, palms, legs, side - the works. "He wouldn't shut up either," I said in a low tone. "Look what they did to him."

No joy. We had to grin and bear it.

The groom confided in a couple of us at the reception that he hoped the presents contained money, otherwise the cheque the to saintly priest would bounce.

It bounced.

The groom had pre-paid on a honeymoon. They got to the airport. As they were about to board, the bride had a panic attack and they didn't go. That cheque was honoured.

Rapscallion

[Eireann]

I'm looking for the "Aunt Marge" story - I don't know where the hell it went! If I can't find it, I'll repeat as much as I can remember for you.

[digilight]

Not a horror wedding story, but the wife and I got married in vegas at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chappel (if you care goggle it, but yeah you've seen it on the discovery channel before). We each had one attendant, my best friend (who is still my best friend and my wifes good friend now), and her at the time good friend (who we now can't freaken stand). We had family and a couple of friends who wanted to go and party (maybe 25 people total) so we did the reception at the hotels buffet (yeah we are hella classy folks, LOL). Well walking thru the casino we got a total standing ovation from a lot of the gamblers and a shiton of well wishes from total strangers. We payed under 2 grand total for the wedding including our weeks stay in vegas, her dress, my tux, the package at the place, etc. And we still have some great memories of it.

I did get lucky though and neither one of us wanted a big wedding (we used the money that a big wedding would have been as a down payment on a condo).

I do agree with jester though, that it is the brides day and the groom doesn't come first then (he still has the wedding night!).

[BlaqueKatt]

I flew to Las Vegas for a "planned" wedding - I know, who the hell plans a wedding in Vegas?!

hey me and my hubby planned our Vegas wedding-we kinda had to-booking the chapel, hotel, and getting the plane tickets was something we had to save up for*-plus getting vacation from work-yes you do have to plan a vegas wedding.


*I know most of my friends don't have an "extra $1000" just lying around-which is what it cost.

[blas]

I would never invite a friend or boyfriend to a wedding on either sides of my family. WHY? Both sides..............wait for it..............wait for it...................do CONGA lines at wedding receptions.

My hip is still sore from August 2005.

Always expect weird stuff.....lol.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I would never invite a friend or boyfriend to a wedding on either sides of my family. WHY? Both sides..............wait for it..............wait for it...................do CONGA lines at wedding receptions.





http://www.curevents.com/vb/images/smilies/worth.gif

[Hopefull7]

Care to post a link to that particular story? :D



FOUND IT!!!
Here is the direct link

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=718.0

[Amethyst Hunter]

Ironic note: Twice I have caught the garter. I have yet to be married.

I've caught the bouquet at my SIL's wedding several years ago, and I wasn't even trying (Weddings - or any other formal events, for that matter - bore me silly, though I will put on my Happy Face and make nice for the duration). Needless to say, I am still a free wagon. :D

[MMATM]

FOUND IT!!!
Here is the direct link

Holy.












Shit.












That's all I can really say. Someone would've been kicked out as soon as they showed up with pets and friends who hadn't been invited. Few people in my family entertain idiots. Well, at least not unusually-idiotic idiots.

[ArenaBoy]

Thought I'd add a rule.

If the wedding is being held at the bride's house, and the bride's father has a set of rules to follow. FOLLOW THEM. If you don't he will make you pay. He will make your life hell if you don't listen to him, the bride, the groom, or the bride's mother. Their house, their rules.

I went to about 4 or 5 weddings this year, the funniest event that happened was witnessing a man in his 60s dancing to Sexyback. The whole reception was in tears.

[Jester]

Cute story! But what were they thinking? My sis got married on Orcas and she had a "rain plan". Every couple I know that has an outdoor wedding here has a "rain plan" regardless of time of year.

The Witch did not have a rain plan. She was determined to get married outside at a Bed & Breakfast in southern New York.

Two days before her wedding, a major tropical storm/minor hurricane blew up to the northeast and through the area, flooding many places and causing quite a bit of havoc.

There was much worrydom regarding the wedding.

Two days after the storm, on the wedding day, while there were puddles here and there and still places that were flooded, the actual location of the wedding was fine, and the weather was postcard perfect.

Even Mother Nature was too afraid of my older sister to fuck up her wedding! :lol:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

*reads the saga of Aunt Marge*

Holy Hell :jawdrop:

I wonder if that couple is still married . . .

I suspect if I'm ever lucky enough to get married, the worst thing I would have to concerned over would be what if my baby sister was crazy enough to bring a chainsaw into the reception :lol:

[BookstoreEscapee]

(This is why I once played "Friends in Low Places" THREE times at one wedding. They wanted it, I played it. I HATED it, but I DID it.)


My friend used this for her Bridal Party dance :D

She and her new husband also entered the reception to "Why Can't We Be Friends"

If/when I get married I will probably go with dress separates and choose a color...my bridesmaids can get the same skirt and choose a top that flatters their shape and they feel comfortable in. I will also probably say something to the effect of "wear whatever black shoes you want." My friend who recently got married had 3 bridesmaids; she bought them each a periwinkle blue cashmere sweater as part of their gift, and they had simple long dark blue satin skirts made to go with it. The skirts didn't cost a lot, and the sweaters they can wear for years.

Also, if you plan to have very small children as flower girls/ring bearers, don't expect them to last through the whole ceremony. My cousin had her older sister as MOH, and her neice, who was barely 3 (maybe closer to 2 1/2) at the time (she's 20 now :eek:) as flower girl. The MOH's husband was sitting in the second row, right on the end, so she could have someone to go to when she got tired or antsy. Which she did, pretty much as soon as she got down the aisle. She wanted Mommy to pick her up, so Daddy pulled her into his lap so she didn't disrupt the ceremony.

My friend (of the "Friends in Low Places" dance) had her 3yo cousin as ring bearer, and he saw all the people in the church and refused to go down the aisle. They tried to coax him, the flower girl (his big sister, about 6) tried to get him to walk with her, and he refused. So he stayed with his dad at the back of the church. He was so cute, though. You gotta have a sense of humor with the little ones, or else leave them out.

[AnqeiicDemise]

-- To the Guests: if the couple has decided to have a dry reception because of their beliefs/desires, it is NOT okay to go out, buy booze and drink it in the parking lot. The couple was attempting to avoid the masses of raging, drunken idiots in the first place.

--Guests: DO keep an eye on your freaking kid and your drinks. It is your responsibility as the parent to keep your children from getting stinking drunk at the tender age of six. (we did have this at my debutante ball. There were a bunch of drunk six-seven year olds because their parents were too drunk to realize their kids were finishing the 'butts' left on the glasses.)

[MMATM]

I was ring bearer for my aunt's (also my godmother) wedding. I was... maybe 3? But I made it through the whole ceremony, or at least the part that I had anything to do with.

This summer I'll be in a wedding party for my cousin and then about a month after that I'll be taking my girlfriend (with permission from her mother) to Ireland for my mother's cousin's wedding. The difference between myself and [generic shitty wedding guest]? I'm actually treating "me plus one" as me, plus one other human being.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

God I have been to so many awful weddings that I pretty much refuse to go anymore. I'm going to a Vegas wedding in March for a good friend and that's only because I have faith in her---her wedding will be a relatively fun, stress free event and she won't let anybody mess it up for her. In fact anybody that tries will get booted and told to go piss up a tree.

If I ever get married I'm going to do what Anne Bancroft and Mel Brooks did---go downtown to the justice of the peace, and grab a random passerby to be the witness.

Then I'll do like my Mother did to her Mother, and call her a month later to mention in passing that I had gotten married. :angel:

[Princess-Snake]

To the DJ: If for some reason, you must cancel, please notify the wedding party well before the wedding and not six hours before the wedding. If this is not possible, do not get angry and swear at the bride when she questions you on why she should pay you the remaining amount of money she owes to you when you did not do any dj-ing at the wedding.
I was a bridesmaid at this particular wedding and my best friend was the bride. She was in tears when the DJ cancelled six hours before the wedding. He called the bride, told her he couldn't come, then just hung up before my friend could say anything. So her mom's trying to calm her down, while I rush home, grab as many CDs that I can fit in the car, and radio/CD player. Turns out everyone did the same thing upon hearing the news. Then after the wedding, the DJ called to get the remaining money owed to him and swore at the bride when she asked why she should. He backed off after getting a firm talking to by the groom.
The DJ is, or should I say was, a boyfriend of the bride's sister. His reason that he couldn't come? His friends were going to a strip club and he wanted to tag along.

[Jester]

My friend used this for her Bridal Party dance

I was DJing weddings when that song was at the top of the charts.

Trust me, your friend was not even CLOSE to being the only person that used this for one of her major dances. Many couples used it for their FIRST DANCE, actually.

No, seriously. They really did.

To the DJ: If for some reason, you must cancel, please notify the wedding party well before the wedding and not six hours before the wedding. If this is not possible, do not get angry and swear at the bride when she questions you on why she should pay you the remaining amount of money she owes to you when you did not do any dj-ing at the wedding.

Then after the wedding, the DJ called to get the remaining money owed to him and swore at the bride when she asked why she should.

His reason that he couldn't come? His friends were going to a strip club and he wanted to tag along.

That DJ was unprofessional in every way imaginable.

But the last comment makes me wonder....WAS he a professional DJ, hired by the couple, or was he simply going to serve as the DJ (and get paid for it) simply because he was a involved with a family member?

I had a rule that I would never work as a DJ at the weddings of any of my friends, for so many reasons. The reason I told THEM was that, frankly, I wanted to be a GUEST at their wedding and be able to enjoy it like everyone else. That was true, of course, but the main reason was that the potential for so many bad things was there. I only violated that rule once, and it ended up going well, but even then, things came close a couple of times to getting derailed.

[Amethyst Hunter]

- Don't bother spending over ten thousand (or more) dollars on a fancy country-club-style wedding designed more for flash than substance. That just screams "We'll be divorced in X number of years."

- Mothers-in-law (or anybody else guilty of this offense as well): For the love of God, don't spackle on the Max Factor with a trowel. You look like shit and you aren't fooling anybody. Hieroglyphs could be chiseled into the plaster attempting to pass for a human facial mask. (Yes, this woman - one of the phoniest people I've ever had the displeasure of meeting - was at the abovementioned wedding, and yes, the couple in question divorced down the road.)

- Do have good food. This makes the experience more tolerable for people like me, who are really only there for the food in the first place (barring close relations with one of the wedding party members, that is). It's nothing personal, it's just that we ADD types find it very hard to sit still through formal ceremonies of any kind. Rest assured that we really do wish you well on your new endeavour.

[Bella_Vixen]

On the semi-subject off odd wedding songs, my ex and I joked about having, among other songs, Ring Of Fire. Is that wierd? And about "Friends In Low Places," if I would have crashed my ex's "wedding" (his own family had no clue about it, so who knows?), I would have paid to have that song played when I made my entrance. :lol:

[SnapAddict218]

Another one about aforementioned wedding (where the mother of the bride intentionally gave incorrect directions to some of the guests). I can’t believe I forgot this!! 3 Days before the wedding I had an emergency appendectomy. Everyone knew this, and the bride came over and spent her lunch hours with my drugged up sleeping self for the 3 days. Due to relatively sever complications I was released from the hospital a mere 2 hours before the rehearsal. I took a gentle shower and pulled my hair up as nicely as I could manage for being sore, drugged up, and wobbly on my feet. We were running a short on time, but I could only move so fast after all (we ended up being about 10 minutes late total and we were NOT the last people to arrive).

My boyfriend drove me to the church where I was greeted by a seething mother of the bride. This bitch tried to bar me from entering the church because I wasn’t wearing “church clothes”. No, a tee shirt and scrub pants aren’t church clothes, but I did just get out of the hospital 2 hours ago. Hell, I was still wearing my hospital bracelet and needed assistance standing upright. The bride and other family members tried several times to explain this to the rag, and she finally let me in the doors.

The bride and groom were Catholic, as was everyone else save for me and another bridesmaid. Because of this, the mother of the bride refused to let her and I into the sanctuary to practice the rehearsal. With out starting a fratching debate, suffice to say it was because as non-Catholics we couldn’t be trusted to behave properly in church. Thankfully she and I had attended enough masses and Catholic weddings that we knew our way around and were able to pull it off no problems the next day. The bride was so thankful that I still stood up for her despite the hospital stay, and that’s what made it worth it.

[SnapAddict218]

Also forgot this too! Man I’m getting forgetful in my ripe old 25 years. Same bride. Same mother of the Bride. This time it was the wedding shower. The other bridesmaids and I spent the evening decorating the church basement which was to be the setting for the shower. We’d found games and favors, made decorations and labored over the menu. We put out the time and money to throw a very nice shower for our friend. Because of this (and also because we didn’t have time due to planning) we did not get her a shower gift. Bride said that the shower was gift enough and thanked us profusely. Mother of the bride ripped us out in front of the guests and bride, telling us what horrible friends we were.

The younger sister of the bride (19 or 20 at the time) was the maid of honor. She did absolutely nothing to help at any point. She never made it to any planning sessions, never went shopping or helped with the cooking, made decorations/favors, or contributed one red cent to the cause. The night we all decorated the church, she spent it under a table reading manga with a flashlight, and when she wasn’t under the table she was hopping about the room, mewing like a cabbit. The next day at the party she arrived late and insisted on everyone referring to her as “Professor” while she carried around a large magnifying glass. Never mind that the other girls and I had been there at 7 am, finishing the food and putting the final touches on.

The mother of the bride did the same thing with the shower invites that she did with the wedding invites. The shower was held out of town where few people (save the bride’s family) were familiar. This meant that ¾ if the bride’s friends and every member of the groom’s family were missing from the festivities.

The bride’s side of the family was just as pleasant as the mother, and not a one had a kind thing to say about the food. To have a guest take the time to find out who made the quiche just to tell them it was awful is so lame. They openly mocked our games, tore apart our handmade decorations, groaned about the food and the variety. (“Why are there so many breakfast dishes?” Uh, it’s 9:30 in the morning.). They would make it a point to keep talking loudly when we tried to get their attention for anything. Finally at the end of the day, mother of the bride hauled “The Professor” (complete with Sherlock Holmes hat) up to the front of the room and proceeded to get everyone to a standing ovation for the party that she threw-ALL BY HER SELF!

It was at this point that the other maids and I looked at each other, shook our heads, gathered our dishes and simply left. We left the clean up and tear down to the bride’s mother and sister. We had just had enough. The bride understood the reason for our abrupt exit, and apologized profusely. Again.

[technical.angel]

Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight. You had your appendix removed, and you were in a wedding the next day???

I had my appendix removed the day after Christmas, and just the thought of getting dressed up and moving for the New Years party at the boyfriend's Country Club was painful. Of course, I had three incisions so they could see exactly what was going on. (I only had some slight infection around the appendix. It was more IBS caused by the Chiari malformation. Stupid brain!)

Even a few months later, wearing pantyhose and standing for a few hours for my grandfather's wake was hard enough.

Did the MOH have some kind of mental problem? That does not sound like ANYONE's view of a normal 20yo.

[SnapAddict218]

Did the MOH have some kind of mental problem? That does not sound like ANYONE's view of a normal 20yo.

Surprisingly no, though you'd think there was upon meeting her. Its almost like she's 10 years old in the head. She might actually still be 10 years old mentally, come to think if it. She's been really sheltered and mommie doesnt want to cut the strings. She never learned to interact with people very well so at 23 (now) she will talk to her "imaginary friend" in public, just to get people to look at her funny. She is an odd cat to say the least.