Rules for Tech Support

[Dreamstalker]

I never thought to save the thread on the old board, so I figured I'll just restart it.

1. Please let me do my job. If you think you can fix it why did you call me?
Exception to #1: If an emergency transpires (something blows up in my face, I get zapped with 120V AC, your computer/bookshelf/desk collapses on top of me, etc), do what should be obvious and either help me or call for help.

2. If something gets fuxxored and I ask what you did before things went south, please tell me, I'm asking for a reason. If I'm to help you fix it, I need to know precisely what was done. Lying is only going to make things longer and harder for us both.

3. Please drop the technobabble and tell me in plain English what you want to do. I prefer it in English first. I will decipher geekspeak in the proper way. If what gets done is not what you wanted, that's your own fault for using the wrong terms. I'm not psychic.

4. If you come to me saying a piece of hardware isn't working, have that hardware or at least the manual with you. I cannot troubleshoot what does not exist.

5. Don't try to blame me if something breaks 2 weeks after I fixed it. I know what I did and I know it was working.
Corollary to #5: Yes, you are paying the second (third, fourth, fifth, etc) time. I'm not a salon where do-overs are free.
Exception to the Corollary: If it can be proven that something I did fubared things for whatever reason (unforeseen conflict), my rate will be discounted for that time only.
Exception to the Exception: The above is void if said conflict was directly caused by something else you did.

[One-Fang]

I wrote my list up a couple of years ago, ten commandments style:

The 10 Commandments of calling Tech Support

1. Thou shalt be the person experiencing the problem.
It's no good talking to someone who doesn't know what the problem really is, isn't experiencing it on their PC, and can't try it as you talk because they don't know the password.

2. Thou shalt be at thine computer.
If you're not in front of the computer, how can you try the suggestions we give you?

3. Thou shalt have the error message on-screen, or copied to paper.
Imagine the frustration - "I had an error when I tried to get mail" "What did it say?" "I don't know now, I closed it down, something about connection I think, what do you think is wrong?"

4. Thou shalt be ready to deal to this problem.
Further frustrations - "Yes, hi, I'm not getting my email" "Okay, can you go into your Inbox for me?" "Oh yeah, I'll just shut this down, and hang on, I'll save this, and I have to move this file over here, and then I'll open the email program, it's coming up now, it's always slow…".

5. Thou shalt have already restarted thy computer.
Really. It fixes tonnes of stuff. And if you're going to lose data by restarting, that data was history anyway, we'll just tell you to restart.

6. Thou shalt not expect encyclopaedias to answer the tech line.
The sheer scope of things we know in the many programs is quite large. We don't necessarily have every answer at hand, but we can usually look it up or find it out pretty quick. Can you instantly remember everything you've ever done?

7. Thou shalt count to 10 before calling.
You only call us when you're having a problem, and therefore frustrated and probably angry. Take a moment to calm down, so that you can discuss the issue rationally and get the quickest answer.

8. Thou shalt not lie.
I don't know why people bother. "No I didn't add any software to this computer", "No I didn't change anything", "It was fine yesterday", "I didn't touch it". Most of the time we don't care if you caused the problem, but it's a lot easier to fix if you admit you might have and describe what you did.

9. Thou shalt only seek solutions from the lesser saints in tech support.
Do not directly call second- or third-level technicians. They don't appreciate it. All problems must go through the helpdesk first and only. The call will go to someone else if it was truly meant for them, and be properly recorded for future reference.

10. Thou shalt provide useful information about the problem.
"I can't get my email" isn't very useful if your computer is not even starting up. Sure, email may have been what you were after, but let's face it, the problem is the computer isn't starting, not that you can't get email. Similarly "it doesn't work" is just as useless. What doesn't work, when you do
what, what were you expecting, what did you click on?

[Tejas]

1) thou shalt always run a firewall, virus scan and adware scan before calling - and keep them up to date
2) thou shalt know what version of windows thou is running (it's always windows idiots who say things like 98ME - mac and linux users know there stuff in general)
3) thou shalt know what right click is
4) it is not a cup holder damnit!
5) those funny cursers are cute for you - they bug the hell outta me. turn them off.
6) you can not use fridge magnets on the side of your case..
7) or a 1 foot long bar magnet (i have seen this.. from an IT teacher i had in high school none the less!)

[Dreamstalker]

Just remembered after a marathon Linux troubleshooting session with Jordan:

--If I ask for any error messages in a command-line environment, if the text is scrolling up the screen please do not attempt to read all of it as it is scrolling. That gives me a huge headache and leads to much confusion. All I really need are the last few lines before you get a shell prompt again (or the commands exactly how they were input).

[Seanette]

The nice tech you just called is not just screwing around with you to waste your oh-so-precious time, he/she really does need to ask all those questions about just what the computer was or was not doing. He/she is not a Jedi or a Hogwarts graduate and cannot simply will your computer fixed, no matter much he/she might want to.

[PuckishOne]

And, come to think of it, "the nice tech" might not actually be a tech...rather, (s)he may just be the most technologically astute person on the premises, and the company's too cheap/small to spring for real tech support/IT. All the more reason to adhere to the aforementioned rules as though they were (dare I say it?) etched in stone.

[RedHeadPhoneGirl]

Though shalt remember to tell the tech that you have a static IP address that is configured for that particular station, so that when you change computers (thus using a new NIC) and don't have a DHCP for that particular station, the tech can easily reconfigure your new computer to have the correct static IP.

Though shalt NOT TOUCH the registry.

Though shalt not DELETE any parts of the registry. Ever.

Though shalt not go into the "Add/Remove programs" when thou dost not know what thou art doing

If thine computer is password protected, thou shalt give the tech thine password, as well as contact information, before leaving thine computer with said tech. If thou dost not comply with this rule (and the 2 about the registry), thou shalt not bitch at the tech for not being able to back up your files when they have to reformat your hard drive.

Thou shalt back up all files before bringing your computer to a tech, on a memory storage device seperate from said computer.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I actually told a customer this after a rather nasty argurment on how long the computer was taking to repair.

"Sir, I want to get this computer back to you as soon as humanly possible. If for no other reason so I don't have to listen to you calling every 30 minutes. As you can see the program that is recovering the files that YOU lost when YOU formatted your own drive, has approx 4 hours remaining before it is done. I can do NOTHING until it finishes. Call me back no earlier than 4 hours please so I can get back to getting the rest of your computer running."

Standard procedure for me was to clean/recover the customer's original drive while at the same time loading the OS on a new drive. Then I'll copy the data from their drive to mine, wipe the old drive and then finally image the new drive onto the original drive. Takes a little time, but I can have Windows up and running while the hours long scans take place, and I can make sure I don't accidently wipe out data during the install.

Mongo

[protege]

What about people who don't keep their virus and anti-spyware defs up to date? I'd like to throttle them all. Apparently, simply *having* the software is enough...never mind that it was last updated in 1995 :rolleyes:

[NightWolf]

What about people who don't keep their virus and anti-spyware defs up to date? I'd like to throttle them all. Apparently, simply *having* the software is enough...never mind that it was last updated in 1995 :rolleyes:


That would require they actually have to do something on the PC. Your average user can't be bothered with such trivial things. Not when there is porn to surf!!:smash:

[Phoenix79]

When I ask you to left-click on a menu, that means click ONCE!

If you double left-click on EVERYTHING, I will be forced to hang up on you as I am not paid enough to hear you say "It doesn't show me the menu!!" over and over again . . .

Phoenix

[Acolyte]

1) It doesn't matter how slow the problem was fixed. If it's anything bigger then changing your Outlook Express settings-which takes me, on a slow day and computer, more time to hook the computer up then to change the settings. My time is worth money-$75 CDN an hour, to be specific.

2) RAM is a name. Not an installation instruction. If you have to break out ANY tool AT ALL that isn't a screwdriver when installing your hardware, you're doing it wrong.

3) Same goes for removing parts of said hardware if it doesn't fit.

4) Also, I probably can't sauter whatever you took off back on.

5) And you're not getting a free one. It's your own damn fault.

6) When I say 'bring in your operating system and drivers-basically, whatever CDs came with the PC', I MEAN it. If it's a Dell with XP Home, I can deal with it if you don't. If it's your custom-made PC running XP Media Edition with a bunch of aftermarket crap, BRING IT.

7) Bitching about the price will not make it go down, especially bitching to me. I'm a 19-year-old intern wearing headphones and a geeky shirt. Do I LOOK like I have control over the prices?

8) Sure, I'll 'accientally' put in better hardware, if you pay my lost wages when I get fired.

9) 'How'd all that dust get in there?' 'Oh, it has FANS in it?' :cry:

10) Don't leave porn on your computer. Especially if you star in the porn. Double-especially if you aren't the kind of person who shouldn't be in your average porno.

[Tejas]

Triple especilly if it's as a wallpaper

[LadyMage]

I fix people's comps as a hobby...recetly, my friend has not only broken several rules but gave me cause to add:

1. You WILL NOT let the computer run for two years without an updated antivirus. AT ALL.

2. When I ask when you updated it last, your answer, under no circumstances, should be a blank look.

3. When I ask you which anti-adware/spyware cleanups you have...DO NOT ask me "what's that." Doing so will cause me to spontaneously combust and/or throttle something.

4. You will try to restore the hard drive before bringing your new doorstop to me to revive.

5. If your system CDs are corrupt, I will use mine. If I do, and I will, and it WILL WORK, under no condition should you delete anything from the "dell" folder. Yes, my laptop's a Dell and so are the CDs. Yours is an HP that just almost died on my desk. NO TOUCHIE.

6. I check your handmade backups and ALL of them have Trojans. What...did you...do. When I scanned the thing with Ad-Aware before you made them, I specifically got rid of 1500 of them. No, this is not a numerical error, my fellow CSers, my friend really did have 1500 trojans on his comp. I'm amazed it stayed alive this long and it's as old as my own lappy: 3 years.

7. After I spent 5 hours resuscitating your ex-doorstop, the absolute last thing I want to hear is "I installed something and it doesn't work." I ensured myself that this computer would be in top shape. What. Did. You. Do.

Brought to you by LM, who had a very very bad experience restoring an HP laptop where the user did all of the above. Hoii.

[Comp_geek]

No I won't come to your house after hours to install your hardware. Yes I can do it, and yes I could use the money, but I like my job and I don't want to have you come to me while I'm working and bitch if you fuck up your computer.

[LostMyMind]

My main rule:

I will not read the screen for you. If you can't be bother to read what is on the screen, I can't be bothered to help you.

[Banrion]

That would require they actually have to do something on the PC. Your average user can't be bothered with such trivial things. Not when there is porn to surf!!:smash:


NO, no they don't. If I am out of touch here let me know, but don't all of the "Big Name" virus scans have an automatic update and scan feature? I admit I have now been a dedicated McAfee user for 6 years now for the basics. I also use adaware, spybot, and hijackthis. McAfee even has annoying popups about every 12 hours when you are within 1 month of your expiration date.

To quote Ron Popeil, "Just set it, and forget it!" The virus scans will catch the worst of it, and mine updates every Mon, Wed, & Fri at 11:00 am & System scans are scheduled for 12:00pm (while I'm at work) :p I run the rest of em weekly or when I think I caught something. Probably overkill, but I am a fan of the "convenience games" and those can sometimes be riddled with as much spyware crap as porn.

[Comp_geek]

No warranty covers software. You install it, you're liable, not the store that sold it to you or the manufacturer of the computer. And no we won't remove that "OMGitsSoAmazinglyAwesomeGame" from your computer under warranty. The warranty covers serviceable things. Software is not serviceable.

[Twotall]

Might I add one?

Keep Thine Fingers Away From The Phone Buttons. If your fingers are so large you completely envelop the tiny little cell phone you're using, get a phone more suited to you. It's extremely annoying (and a bit painful) to have my conversation with you interspersed with loud beeps in my ear at random intervals.

I was going to add "Thou shalt be the person experiencing the problem", based on a little experience i had a while ago, but One-Fang beat me to it. Oh well...

[Dreamstalker]

Or get a hands-free if your phone supports one (I don't have one and really should). Better yet, if you have a landline please use that to call; the reception tends to be much better.

It is not my responsibility to make sure you update your antivirus (case in point: my mom has Norton 2004 on this rig. It was never renewed. She claims it was, but lost the confirmation email...and you never printed a copy why? If you keep email on the server there's no guarantee it'll be there eight months from now. Now wants me to renew it for her... I have my own suite of freeware I use; if you don't want me to install them and show you how to keep them up to date you're more than welcome to purchase a new copy of Norton).

"More is better" does NOT apply when talking of a single type of security software (Norton Firewall, Windows "Firewall" and Zone Alarm all fighting with each other...ick).

If I say your POS is only good for a doorstop, don't argue with me. I tried to revive it and failed. It does not have enough memory, and I cannot install more due to the limitations of the motherboard. You need a new computer.

[pbmods]

I had a friend that I used to help him when he was making the switch over to Mac. It was interesting some of the problems he had because of the behaviors he was used to.

As an example, he screwed up his hard drive because he would shut off the power strip before his computer was done shutting down. You get the idea.

Anyway, every time I would try to help him through his problems, he would act like he knew what the problem was, and I didn't know what I was doing.

It was always something along the lines of, "No, I don't need to reinstall the software because it was working before. Something else is causing the problem." Didn't you trash some files inside the application package? Oh yeah....

The best part was when I was ever working with his hardware. I installed a second hard drive into his machine, and he was *RIGHT OVER MY FREAKING SHOULDER* scrutinizing everything I did, and SECOND GUESSING *EVERYTHING*.

I don't troubleshoot his computer anymore.

[Dreamstalker]

Anyway, every time I would try to help him through his problems, he would act like he knew what the problem was, and I didn't know what I was doing.

It was always something along the lines of, "No, I don't need to reinstall the software because it was working before. Something else is causing the problem."
...yeah, something else you did :devil: (but of course, the almighty (l)user would never, ever do anything to cause something to stop working... :rolleyes: )

The twit used to do that. Drove me up a wall. Jordan and I finally got rid of her one night--she waltzed in my room and made herself at home when finding out he had brought his rig over to my place so we could work on it--by talking to each other exclusively in partially-made-up techspeak. One would have thought after the tenth repetition of "What are you guys talking about? I don't know what's going on!" she would have figured it out.

[Geminii]

2. Thou shalt be at thine computer.

I should add that this does not include:

1) Driving

2) Taking a crap

3) Being in a room without a PC. I don't care if your retarded relative or half-baked friend is in that room and you think you're going to be yelling back and forth from the phone. You're not.

4) Being in a different house or building from your PC. I don't care that one of you is at work and the other is at home, or that you think I apparently have long-distance technomancy.

5) Being in a different city from your PC. Call me when you get back from your trip.

6) Being in a different country from your PC. Especially when the PC is switched off. Yes, person who did this, I AM talking about you.

7) Being in front of your laptop when the problem is with the base station in the other building.

8) Being in front of your base station when you left your laptop in another city, and taking three hours to wonder where your screen had gone.

9) Being in front of your empty desk when your PC has been taken to some other computer store.

10) Being in front of your PC when basic peripherals like the monitor are out being repaired or (more likely) kicked down the stairs by your kids.

11) Being in front of your PC when your PC has been inserted into another household appliance such as the dishwasher, microwave or tumble-dryer.

12) Being in front of your PC when you just bought it, can't figure out why the screen is black, and haven't bothered to unpack either the instructions for finding the ON button or the power cord.

13) Being in front of your PC when your PC is still in the original packaging. No, I will not walk you through unpacking it. In this life, there are some things we must learn to do for ourselves.

14) Being in front of your PC after you've just kicked the living crap out of it.

15) Being in front of a completely different computer than the one which has the problem.

16) Being in front of your PC and haranguing me about a problem you had six months ago which you can not only not remember the details of, but which is not actually happening to you right at this very moment.

[Dips]

20. You may be asked to troubleshoot. Yes, it will require effort on your part. If you don't want to troulbeshoot, please don't pretend you did and lie to us about it. You will waste your time and ours, but WE are getting paid. You aren't.

21. If you feel you should skip a troubleshooting step, by all means let us know the reason you feel that way. If your reason makes sense, we'll skip it. The following reasons, however, do NOT make any sense or get you out of troubleshooting:

o I don't feel like it/don't want to.

o I shouldn't have to.

o The computer is too far away.

o That's not my job; it's yours.

o My boss won't let me.

o My uncle/sister/grandmother/best friend told me not to let you guys waste my time.

o My uncle/sister/grandmother/best friend knows that's not it.

o That's too hard. Just fix it.

o Can't I just talk to the The Other Guy There?* The Other Guy never makes me do all this.

[*The Other Guy There is my mystery co-worker who never makes our customers raise finger or expend any effort in getting their problems fixed. He is also available 24/7, promises customers free updates for life and authorizes steep discounts and free shipping for the rest. He also has promised free on-site tech support and training to any customer anyplace in the world. The Other Guy There also speaks over one hundred languages fluently and doesn't mind communicating in any of them. I hate The Other Guy There.]

[Naaman]

Dips - you forgot
"My mate, who's awesome with computers said XXXXXX was broken and needs to be replaced"
;)

[Moirae]

How about this one...

Do not say to me "Well last time this happened, another person just did something on their end and I was back online" when the problem is your damned modem has no connection.

That's not my fault and there's nothing I can do to fix it. We need to send a technician out to find out why you have no connection.

[jjbrien]

Thou shall not install a second anti virus on thine computer withhout first unistalling the first one.

[Dreamstalker]

Ditto for firewalls. My mom's machine (poor Compaq...nice oc'ing board and chip, but the other parts cripple it) had Windows Firewall (ha) enabled by default from the factory. On advice of a "techie friend" (not me as I didn't have my degree yet :confused: ) she installed...Norton 2004 with AV and firewall. Then installed Zone Alarm, not knowing how to configure either.

And was wondering why she couldn't get anywhere online.

[Depot Denizen]

I use the Windows Firewall exclusively, coupled with the university's Symantec AV client. So far, no issues. I see Norton Internet Security and cringe.

[Moirae]

I'm not sure why you guys have such problems with Norton. I have it on my computer and, in the two years I've had it, never had a single problem.

[Depot Denizen]

Most clients have Norton installed, and they forget to turn off the Windows Firewall. So you end up having the two programs jockeying for resources, and they do not work together. A friend of mine blocked himself from using World of Warcraft because Norton and Windows kept fighting over network ports. Norton has a habit of asking you to block *everything* that it thinks is bad. Windows just asks you once, and leaves you be.

[Cvstos]

Here's what I'm going to print out and post on my door when I move into the dorm. Some bits from here, and some of my own thoughts. :D

RULES FOR TECH SUPPORT!

1) You will not call me for remote assistance. I don't do that. You will come to me, describe the problem, and set up an appointment for me to take a look at it.

2) You will NOT install Kazaa, Bonzi Buddy, or any other program that has no use, wastes system resources, and installs spyware and malware.

3) When I ask "When is the last time you updated this computer?", your response had better not be "never" or a blank stare. You will activate automatic updates for Windows and have it update every day. You will also check Microsoft Update every week to get optional updates. You have no excuse for using a pirated version of Windows when the bookstore offers XP Pro for $10.

4) Microsoft Windows is your operating system, the core bit of software than runs your whole computer. Microsoft Office includes Microsoft Word, Excel, and Power Point. That is an office software suite, and is DIFFERENT than Microsoft Windows.

5) That big box that is your computer is called a "desktop" or "tower". It is not a "hard drive", "CPU", or "motherboard". Those are specific components inside that box, and using those incorrect terms will only confuse the issue.

6) You will keep up to date anti-virus software. Not a 2-year-old trial version. A fully updated (preferably with automatic updates) anti-virus solution, such as Avast, Norton, McAffee, or Nod32.

7) You will keep up to date anti-spyware software, such as Windows Defender/Live One Care, Ad-Aware, or Spybot: Search and Destroy. Not a copy you downloaded three years ago and never updated, something UP TO DATE.

8) You will not download suspicious packages such as stolen programs and serial code crackers. Nine times out of ten, those are just boxes of viruses.

9) You will not put your computer in the corner with no air circulation. Computers get hot. Give them room to around them to have air circulate to cool it off.

10) Computers have fans in them, and dust will clog them. It's a good idea to clean out the inside of your computer using a can of compressed air (available at most computer stores). A mask, goggles, and performing the operation outside is advised!

11) Go to your favorite computer store and buy an external backup hard drive, and make regular backups. If your computer is completely wasted, I will likely have to do a fresh install of Windows.

12) You WILL have a full copy of Windows. Not a system restore disk which won't work if you change the hardware. I may need that disk to do a full reinstall of Windows. You can get Windows XP Pro from the bookstore for $10 if you are a student, but only one copy. Keep track of that copy, and keep VERY good track of the CD key.

13) You must be the one who owns the computer and is experiencing the problem.

14) You accept that reinstalling Windows may cause permanent loss of all your old data. You accept that if you don't have a backup, that's your problem.

15) You must know how to reproduce the error, and have the error message written down.

16) DO NOT LIE. Odds are I'll be able to tell, and inaccurate information will greatly harm my efforts to fix your computer.

17) Try restarting first. For some reason, that clears many things up.

18) You will not expect me how to use some proprietary, oddball, unknown program. I don't know everything.

19) You will NOT put refrigerator magnets on the side of your case. If you do, I will hit you up side the head. HARD.

20) I can work with Windows 2000, XP, Mac OS X 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, and try to work with Windows Vista. Anything older than that, and you need to get a new computer. Seriously, Windows XP has been out since 2001. GET A NEW COMPUTER!

21) You will not touch the registry. Ever.

22) If you want to uninstall a program, use the uninstall program, do not just delete the program.

23) I will not use a keyboard that's nasty as hell. Keep it clean. Same goes for your room. If it stinks, I won't even go in there.

24) If I can't fix it quickly, I'll have to start charging for my time. Most problems can be fixed quickly or just with some advice, but some cannot and require lots of work and sometimes new hardware must be ordered. I will definitely charge you for parts.

25) If you break any of the above rules, I'm definitely going to charge you for my time.

[Dreamstalker]

1) You will not call me for remote assistance. I don't do that. You will come to me, describe the problem, and set up an appointment for me to take a look at it.
*nodnod* I prefer not to troubleshoot over the phone (unless I know the other party's setup like the back of my hand which only applies to immediate family). That should not be considered a "disability" or "laziness". It's just the way I work (I know users will not read error messages correctly, and, with few exceptions, I can't fix what I can't see).
5) That big box that is your computer is called a "desktop" or "tower". It is not a "hard drive", "CPU", or "motherboard". Those are specific components inside that box, and using those incorrect terms will only confuse the issue.
My shrink did that just yesterday. She asked me what kind of work I do, and proceeds to say "Hard drive repair?" Apparently, my blank stare was insufficient for her to realize what she said wrong :banghead:
24) If I can't fix it quickly, I'll have to start charging for my time. Most problems can be fixed quickly or just with some advice, but some cannot and require lots of work and sometimes new hardware must be ordered. I will definitely charge you for parts.
Also, if I say that I need to do some research and will come back shortly to begin fixing the problem (if the computer in question does not have internet access and I do not have my laptop with me), do not under any circumstances try to "fix it" yourself. You will only screw it up worse. You will then be charged an ID10T tax. That tax is never to be questioned. Ever.

[Dreamstalker]

I got another one. If you purchase a part, ask me to install it for you, misplace it when I come to install it, and later find it, for the love of Hastur do not leave a voicemail saying "oh I found this and I'll install it myself". That makes me very nervous, especially if I know you know next to nothing about computers. I don't care if you think you'll "save money"; my install fee is much less than replacing the motherboard if you screw something up.

Corollary to the above: Don't even try to blame me if something goes south. I told you to call me when you find the part. Do nothing else. If your computer survived until now without the part, it will survive a few extra days until I can come over. You decided you knew all about hardware install by seeing me next to the open case.

(a friend just did this with a stick of RAM that may or may not work in her machine; yes it's the correct type, but something has transpired where separate sticks of the same timings will not work--it needs an exact matched pair)

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

I think the problem that most people have with Norton stems from who uses it. Norton by default assumes that you're an idiot and will slam the gates closed on EVERYTHING.

This isn't a problem for people like me who have used Norton Products since (and yes I know I'm dating myself here) 1989 and know the little tricks and foibles of the system. We instinctively know to turn this off, tweak that, adjust the other and get norton working and integrated just fine. It's the rest of the world who installs the programs and doesn't know how to disable windows in favor of the new firewall, how to open the firewall to allow networking, how not to run it alongside of McAfee or any of the millions of ways someone unfamiliar with the product can misconfigure it.

Otherwise I love Norton and just feel naked and exposed if my computer doesn't have it running. My computer doesn't even SEE the internet until XP SP2, and Norton is installed.

[Comp_geek]

I like the freeware software I have.
-AVG does a good job with viruses, though they are not as popular any more, and Ewido finds adware/spyware/malware on the fly.
-Once a month I run CCleaner and remove all temp files and such.
-I don't use a firewall...I've got my router with the firewall...and I just don't feel important enough to need a firewall. My wireless is secured and the signal BARELY makes it out of my house. Plus I live in the end of a dead end street so illegal wardriving around here would be pointless.

I don't like how many resources Norton uses and how intertwined with the system is becomes. I'm sure they've fixed a lot of bugs since I last installed it (win 98 on P2). Another reason I don't use Norton, it's so mainstream. If someone REALLY wants to get to my system then it wouldn't be a problem to get around Norton.

[NightWolf]

I've got to go with Mongo here. We have tons of users calling in on a daily basis and 9 times out of 10 the firewall ends up being the issue. Why? Who knows. Most of the time we find out Norton has expired and the customer has no clue about it.

I've had several times though where email is affected, we disable the NIS firewall, and boom. They get email. The re-enable the firewall, it works for 2 months, and boom, same issue. They disable the firewall, and it works. Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

I don't get, I don't really care to get it. I have a router built into my DSL modem, which is the way I like it. Much easier to deal with IMO than the software based ones.

:2cents:

[sr2K2K]

-I don't use a firewall...I've got my router with the firewall...and I just don't feel important enough to need a firewall. My wireless is secured and the signal BARELY makes it out of my house.

Beyond AVG, and the usual battery of anti-adware apps and a few niceties from SysInternals, I use ZA on top of the router, and when people ask me to set up their PCs or if I finish repairing one, I install the same suite of apps on theirs too. Yeah, to some degree, it's a few wasted cycles and a not-entirely insignificant memory footprint, but I like the ability to immediately control outbound data traffic that a software firewall provides.

Not a big fan of the 'all-in-one' security packages for my own use, but when it comes to other people, I'd rather they use NIS or McAfee or whatever than nothing at all.

[JRH2975]

That would require they actually have to do something on the PC. Your average user can't be bothered with such trivial things. Not when there is porn to surf!!:smash:

Yeah, I totally agree. The other is to use common sense, if a family member screws up 3 computers prior to the one they are using, it's probably a good indication that they shouldn't have a computer.

[Customer Beating Robot]

1) Quit assigning blame - If you want your problem fixed, it will be done a lot faster if don't continously state that you didn't do anything and it must be our fault.

2) Be willing to do what it takes to fix the issue - Don't say "No" to everything I ask you to do. If you are not willing to check something out, then I just can't help you.

3) Understand what is and isn't my responsibility - We handle your internet, not your printer, scanner, mouse, webcam, keyboard, computer desk, etc. We also make sure that you get access to the internet. Your problem logging into a website is not our problem.

4) Don't act ridiculous - Don't repond to even the simplest request as though I am out of my mind. Saying "What are you talking about?" when I ask what the problem is, only delays the problem.

[repsac]

1.) If you have a special cooling system, please bring it with the computer. Most likely I do not have the same system and can not be held responsible for any damage done when the chips overheat.

2.) Furthermore, if you are savvy enough to know HOW to install the special cooling system yourself, you should be smart enough to fix the problem on your own. Infact, I have a problem here for which I would pay YOU to fix.

3.) Water cooling systems require water. This is not an option. They will not work without them. Substituting any of the following will invalidate your warranty: Beer, Cola,Urine, Alcohol, Antifreeze, or anything other than water.

4.) If any of your questions involve the words "It makes a grinding sound" expect to be charged extra.

5.) Thou shalt not monkey with dip switches. I don't care what you think you're doing, do not touch. If you move them, I can't really help you. Yes, you're screwed.

6.) Thou shalt not Whine.

7.) Nor grovel

8.) Worshipping only helps when you are sincere and sacrifice a case of my favorite drink to me.

9.) Flashing me will not help if you are male, over 40, fat, hairy, or my cousin.

[LostMyMind]

1.) 5.) Thou shalt not monkey with dip switches. I don't care what you think you're doing, do not touch. If you move them, I can't really help you. Yes, you're screwed.
I thought they got rid of dip switches for motherboards. Oh well, I guess they just won't go away.

[Tria]

9.) Flashing me will not help if you are male, over 40, fat, hairy, or my cousin.

Not even if your cousin's hot?

[EmiOfBrie]

20) I can work with Windows 2000, XP, Mac OS X 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, and try to work with Windows Vista. Anything older than that, and you need to get a new computer. Seriously, Windows XP has been out since 2001. GET A NEW COMPUTER!

Did you forgot Windows 2003 Server? ;)