This is SO frustrating!

[blas]

Honest to gosh, this upsets me so much.......

If I haven't already posted about this before, I HATE (no I mean it, I HATE them) my great aunt and great uncle. I call them Cant Andice and Uncle Pinocchio. Both of them are worthless drunks and BOTH are guilty of elder neglect and abuse!

I'm also a LITTLE just a LITTLE pissed at my parents for not doing anything about this sooner!

My great gramma, "Nanna", is almost 90 years old. She is in the later stages of Alzheimers. She has literally lost her mind. She should NOT be living alone. Her son, Uncle Pinocchio, lives closest to her, 15 miles away. I do not personally advocate just throwing old people into homes, but Nanna CANNOT live alone. Uncle P already had to unplug her stove and anything that could cause a fire, because Nanna put boxes on the stove and in the oven. Nanna cannot clean up after herself and cannot take care of herself at all!

Uncle P makes an effort to see her once a day. But does he cook for her or help her clean her house? NO. She gets Meals on Wheels. She doesn't get 3 meals a day. A neighbor made a call to social services and upon threats of elder abuse, Uncle P and his drill sergeant wife hired a nurse to spend each day with Nanna, then promptly fired her 2 weeks later.

Nanna is so loony that she floods people's phones every day. As mean as it sounds, my parents never gave her their number when they moved, because she'd call nonstop, and if the line was busy, she'd call the operator and have them butt in on whatever conversation was going on.

This is kind of gross, but Nanna can't.....wipe or clean herself after using the bathroom. My parents, living an hour and a half away, CANNOT see her everyday, but when they do visit, they are appalled at what they see.

I honestly want to take my car and run them both over. What does Cant Andice do? NOTHING. Drinks. Drinks. Drinks. Visits once or twice a year. Makes EVERY excuse in the book to not see Nanna, HER OWN MOTHER. When Cant was unemployed she even made excuses! Cant Andice is just waiting for Nanna to die so she can load up her minivan with her slutty ass daughter and raid Nanna's house, because Nanna has a LOT of expensive antiques.

Oh I just want to kill the both of them. HOW DO YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN MOTHER, WHO WHEN SHE WAS IN HER RIGHT MIND RAISED YOU AND PROVIDED FOR YOU?

My parents, finally after a couple of YEARS of this, called social services. Mom was scared that P and C would hate her. OH BOO FUCKING HOO. I told my parents since P and C have hated me since birth, I'll make the damn call, I'll say my name, and if they don't like it they can shove that bottle of rum right down their throats and choke on that until they roll over and die.

WHO cares if P and C get mad? NANNA is the victim here!

Hopefully something gets done and soon. If nothing happens, I, that's right, I will make a call. Not anonymous. And I don't give a shit if P or C find out it was me. I hate them both and they hate me back. I'm not scared of a big nosed idiot and an alcoholic olive on a toothpick!

Edit: sorry this is so hateful and gruesome but this upsets me so much. I could never do this to my own parents when they get old. This is sickening.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Do it. Alzheimer's is a horrible thing and clearly Nanna cannot continue to live on her own.

It's awful when the great granddaughter cares more about the great grandmother's welfare than her children do.

[purplecat41877]

I agree that you should report your great aunt and great uncle. Doing so might make a big difference in your great grandmother's life.;)

[Amethyst Hunter]

Do it. Especially since as you've mentioned your Nanna has a lot of valuables, the vultures won't hesitate to swoop in - hell, they may even already be doing it! - and steal what they can lay hands on.

Sadly, all the symptoms you've mentioned are classic Alzheimer's - my late grandmother on my mother's side did things like put stuff where it shouldn't be (i.e., flammables in oven, etc.). It's very disheartening to watch somebody be eaten alive by their own body. :(

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yes, do it. You also might want to check into whether or not she has a will specifying how she wants her estate divided, before they can get in there and things "disappear"... Hopefully she had one drawn up before her disease got too bad.

My mom's mother passed away a decade before I was born, but she had some jewelry that my grandfather wanted to go to me when he died (he died when I was 6). You guessed it - my step-grandmonster never made that happen. I don't know if it was worth any money, but it makes me angry (more for my mother's sake than my own) that her kids and/or grandkids have my grandmother's jewelry (unless of course they sold it).

[Geek King]

Make the call. Even if she doesn't know what is happening, no one deserves to live like that. Nanna needs full-time care from either a facility or nurse. My prayers and best wishes with you on this one. Lord knows you don't need deserve this drama in your life too.

[Saydrah]

Absolutely make the call. Nanna deserves competent in home care or to be cared for in an inpatient facility with good staff- my great grandmother was the strongest woman in the world, the first woman to write for a sportsman's magazine in Alaska, absolutely incredible, but in her old age (89) she was found quite ill by one of her granddaughters, having forgotten to eat for quite some time. She was skin and bones. Her grandchildren got her to agree to move to a small, home-based elder care facility with very kind staff- not a yucky nursing home situation at all, a modified residential home in a nice neighborhood with only about six residents at a time. She was well cared for until she passed away a few days before her 90th birthday.

[Caveat Emptor]

My one surviving grandparent, my Oma in Germany, has been living with my Tante (Aunt) Heide for a few years. Her knees got so bad that she has to use a wheelchair. My aunt has a full basement where Oma lives and gets daily visits from a nurse service, fortunately the health system in Germany takes care of all of it.

While he was alive, my Onkel Heinz (the youngest of my Opa's siblings) was fine. Then his sister, my Tante Eva, died about 15 years ago. She had a gold coin originally given to their father (my GGrandfather) a century ago. While he was guarding part of the palace of the Duke of Hesse, Tsar Alexander III of Russia visited the Duke and gave him the coin. It was *supposed* to be passed to the eldest of each generation, and Tante Eva was holding it for my cousin Anja. Onkel Heinz and his wife swoop in and give it to *their* daughter. My other relatives over there tried to reason with them, but they became obstinate a-holes (I believe they subsequently tried to claim other heirlooms from another deceased relative, and Aunt Heide told them "You decided to keep the coin, so you're entitled to nothing else.") and, as a result of the coin incident and the way they acted afterward, are now ostracized and basically "persona non grata" with the rest of the family.

[XCashier]

It's so sad when people care more about their relatives' possessions than they do about their relatives. :(

Please make the call, blas. Alzheimer's is horrible, and your Nanna deserves care and support. She does not deserve to be neglected by her children. :pissed:

[Phoenix79]

I'm with everyone here, Blas. You need to make that call as soon as possible.

There is absolutely no reason your Nanna should have to live like that, and you can do something to stop it so she can live the rest of her life comfortably.

I can only hope that when I'm old and need my family to take care of me that I have a grandchild as caring as you are!

Phoenix

[Boozy]

My parents, finally after a couple of YEARS of this, called social services.

Oh my.

Your parents are every bit as responsible for this as your aunt and uncle. They knew your grandmother was not being taken care off, could not take care of herself, and did absolutely nothing for several years.

They didn't even give her their phone number when they moved. Yes, Alzheimer's DOES cause annoying behaviour. Too damned bad. This is their mother.

Looks like this is in your hands, blas. It appears as though you're the only one in the family who cares enough to get angry about this.

I have never in my life heard of someone in the late stages of Alzheimer's living on their own. Its unsafe and unhealthy.

Call social services. They'll let you know what your options are. Good luck, hon.

[Tanasi]

I don't know about WI but here all who know about an elder that is being abused and do nothing are subject to prosecution. In the next county over the AG pulled a kid out of college to prosecute along with her parents for elder abuse. The had just recently turned 18, she was held in jail until her parents agreed to plead guilty and the perseicutor let the kid go and didn't try her. Her little brother was put in foster care even though he was 17 and more than capible of taking care of himself.
I would advise to make the call, if for no other reason than it's the right thing to do.

[justZu]

Please call. Even with her stove unplugged, there are so many bad things that could happen to your Nanna while she is alone. My Grandmother fell in her bathroom and broke her hip(this was before she developed Altzheimers) and laid on the floor in agony until my Aunt came home from work.

As her dementia progressed, my Grandma would throw things away. Much of her jewelry, money and silverware disappeared this way. Even after my Aunt died and Grandma came to live with us, she would throw valuables away. She liked having money in her purse, so my Mom would give her a few ones and by the end of the day they were usually gone in the trash. We were constantly picking forks, mail, eyeglasses, everything out of the garbage can. Scarier than that was the way she would try to "escape" our house to go home(an apartment that was no longer hers). If she had gotten out, she would have wandered, lost, and ended up who-knows-where.

So, Blas, for the health and safety of your Nanna, make the call.

[blas]

Nanna still has a fireplace. Can you imagine what she's capable of? She already set my great-grandpa's military attire from WWII on fire. My great-great grandfather was friends with Al Capone (no lie!) and he made comics of his young adulthood and whatnot, and Nanna burned those as well. We can't prove it, but they aren't anywhere else. Unless P or C stole them.

I know this is desperate, but I want to see what happens after Dad made the call. Because I heard him making the call, so I know he did do it. I was in the other room and he said "Don't turn the dryer on until I'm off the phone. I'm going to get this settled."

If nothing is done after this call (mom and dad are going there next weekend) then I will make the call. I won't have any real evidence because it's all stuff I have heard from my parents. I don't see my Nanna much. But I hope it works! Rest assured, if nothing is done, I'm going to call.