You're the worst singer I've EVER HEARD!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

So I'm watching American Idol clips on YouTube and of course there are the inevitable audition clips.

Some of these people really suck, but some of them are just kind of...I dunno, different. And I realized something: Some very successful singers, if they had to go through that auditions as unknown shmucks, and sing a cappella, would probably be booted out or even verbally abused by the judges.

Can you imagine James Blunt going in there a cappella with that wavery, odd voice of his? Or Iris Dement, with her twangy appalachian nasal alto?

Heck, Tom Petty, even.

What other singers do you think wouldn't be able to get past the Evil Simon?

[FormerCallingCardRep]

Onemy husband sugested is Ozzy Osbourne. Another is Bob Dylan

[ArenaBoy]

Don't watch American Idol (Having a sister will kind of force you to watch it if you're visiting parents) but this is interesting.

Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth. Although he has a rather lazy quality to his voice that makes him kick ass anyway.

Noel Gallagher of Oasis with that nasal voice of his.

Bob Dylan with his nasal voice.

Jarvis Cocker of Pulp. Another singer with that assured tone.

The lead singer from Rage Against the Machine.

Kurt Cobain. Nuff said.

Axl Rose. Surprisingly, he was in a choir and a good singer. Supposedly he liked to change his voice tone to confuse the director.

Mike Patton of Faith No More.

Beck. He isn't exactly nasally but it's half nasal half deep.

Interestingly enough, a lot of singers aren't exactly trained properly and yet they sound great.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Two words: Yoko Ono

Two more: Macy Gray

[edible_hat]

Those with actual talent.

[FuzzyKitten99]

The Beatles.
Songs themselves were good, but their actual singing was mediocre at best.

[Bella_Vixen]

What's his name from System of a Down.




God, how I hate that group. :puke:

[Crazeyal]

Uh...

I used to do KAREOKE...

EVERY WEEK...

*sigh*....

We had a guy named PILCH (no lie!!!) who would quote WRESTLERS before wrecking 60's and 70's songs... AND he couldn't carry a tune WITH handles!!!

[tropicsgoddess]

What's his name from System of a Down.



you mean Serj Tankien..

[justZu]

Janis Joplin and Joey Ramone. I can't imagine Simon liking either one of them(but I love 'em).

[XCashier]

What other singers do you think wouldn't be able to get past the Evil Simon?
Alanis Morrisette
Tom Waits
Ric Ocasik

I daresay most popular singers wouldn't pass his judgement. It'd probably be easier to name who he would like:
Freddie Mercury
Aretha Franklin
Annie Lennox
Barbra Streisand
Linda Ronstadt
Roy Orbison

[Jester]

Bob Dylan, of course. I do karaoke, and I can't sing, but I do an amazing impression of Bob Dylan. And the two are not mutually exclusive.

Janis Joplin. Though it has been said that when she was younger her voice was amazing, the one we are left with on her recordings is very scratchy and Simon would just LAMBASTE her if she were on AI.

Simon also would have nailed Elvis for being too cheesy and hammy. He WAS, but he was still awesome.

Mick Jagger would have never gotten past the AI judges. Ever.

Pink Floyd would have been thrown out in their first attempt. Yes, I know, they are a band, not a singer, but you know what I mean. They are so far out there, that I can see the judges saying "What the hell is THAT?!?!?"

Jimmy Buffett would have also not gotten past them. Then again, he is a better entertainer than he is a singer.

Jim Morrison of The Doors would never have passed muster with those three.

Joe Cocker might have given Simon fits. "What the bloody hell are you doing!??!!?"

Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead would certainly have not made it.

Kid Rock would have been tossed, I imagine.

The list goes on, I am sure......

[Gravekeeper]

While I never watch the show, I do watch the auditions on youtube to amuse myself at work because Simon amuses me. ;p

That being said I've never seen them throw someone out who had actual talent. I've seen a few borderline and the judges called it right by telling the person they were decent but needed to work on x or y.

I've also seen them positively recommend different musical avenues to the person like telling them they really should form x type of band and they could do really well. They just weren't the kind of singer that Idol was looking for.

and thats what it comes down too really. AI's really only a venue for more mainstream singing styles with a good amount of range. More out there styles don't tend to fly even if the judges do think the person was good at it. You need range and mainstream appeal. Hence its American Idol not American Singer. -.-

Still, Simon amuses me. Because he usually says what I was thinking 5 seconds into the audition. ;p

But man, the freaks that crawl out of the woodwork for those auditions sometimes are scary. Scary and delusional.

[blas]

I could get flamed for this, but I HATE Rihanna's voice. Anyone can sing like her if they sing out of their nose and go "Ella, ella, ella, eh eh eh eh eh!"

Every song I hear of hers, I instantly change the station and cringe. Somewhat reminds me of Fran Drescher.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Those with actual talent.

:lol: Beat me to it. Yoko Ono would be one of the "sucks and so crazy we probably shouldn't laugh" auditions.

Tom Waites who sounds like he gargles rusty razor blades and Sean McGowan, who is, and sounds, drunk off his ass.

I would be so bold as to offer Emmylou Harris. The first time her voice did one of those soul-wrenching, heart-shattering breaks that she's so famous for, they'd be all like "honey, you CAN'T SING!"

They'd probably toss Cher out on her butt.

People are so close minded about what music should sound like anymore.

You're right, some of these people are truly terrible. And delusional. When I first started seeing these clips it really freaked me out, I was telling the people I play music with, "Look, you'd tell me if I really do suck, right? Am I making an ass of myself out there?" It really did shake my confidence to see people that delusional about their level of talent. I was worried maybe I was delusional, too, I mean, hey. These people are SO SHOCKED that they are told "no". I mean, I'm not going to set the world on fire with my voice, but I'd at least like to know I don't suck. It really rattled me a bit for a while. Especially since nobody saw fit to stop these people before they got up there and made themselves into buffoons.

[Gravekeeper]

On a side note:

This guy was awesome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAP3ZdXeWAk

I love how they all get into it, hehehe

[Boozy]

In all fairness, American Idol is looking for pop singers, and Simon is pretty honest about that. So geniuses of the Joplin and Dylan sort wouldn't get on the show.

But then, musical geniuses probably don't need this show to be successful. They can write their own stuff and play their own instruments.

We have Canadian Idol here in the Great White North, and they tend to put through some different types. More rock and folk singers. The songs they sing on the show aren't all bubble-gum pop, so it leaves the competition open to a wider range.

The pop singers always win, though.

[crazylegs]

I can't see the lead of goldfrapp getting past the audition, nor the lad of Eels, hell even the late great johnny cash would struggle.

(has just realised he hasn't listened to Cash in a while so cracks open Folsom Prison recording!)

[Gravekeeper]

Yeah, Simon's pretty up front about what the show's looking for ( Pop singers ). They even have an age requirement range ( One freak was too old to audition at 39. Not that it stopped him from trying. ). American Idol was based on the original British show Pop Idol after all ( That's where Simon came from. )

Canadian Idol is more lenient ( Different tastes I guess ) and X-Factor ( British show again with Simon ) had a wider range. America's Got Talent has a really wide range since its just talent talent. Been some pretty cool stuff on America's Got Talent. Like Terry Fator. That guy is amazing. Throw his name into youtube. ^^

[gunsage]

What other singers do you think wouldn't be able to get past the Evil Simon?
Wouldn't it be amusing if lead vocalists for heavy metal bands walked in there? Say, Killswitch Engage walks in and starts doing My Curse a capella... :lol::devil:

[Rapscallion]

Linda McCartney (http://www.twistedunicorn.com/sounds/pages/lindamccartney.html) proving that she shouldn't be allowed to be a backing singer.

About 700Kb.

Rapscallion

[irateguy]

Neil Young
Lou Reed

[Gawdzillers]

Anyone see that German American Idol copy where the kid came in and did a (terrible) cover of Cannibal Corpse's "I Will Kill You"?

If not, here it is: http://youtube.com/watch?v=I4t6f5NbcpQ

Sorry to threadjack with a link, but I think it's relevant. :)

[Melxb]

I gotta add both Glenn Fry and Don Henley from the Eagles. The Eagles are a great rock band and their songs are awesome, but both of the lead singers have incredibly nasally voices and Don Henley sounds as though he can barely carry a tune. He wouldn't have made it past the first set of producers.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Angela Gossow from Arch Enemy. If she came to audtion, all the judges would wet themselves in terror.

Which, to me, is a perfectly reasonable response. :eek:

[Jester]

This guy was awesome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAP3ZdXeWAk

That was AWESOME! And frankly, the guy really could sing....and surprised me with how good he was. American Idol winner? No. But usually when their costume is that outlandish, their voice is the one that should be in disguise, if you know what I mean. I thought it was great! And definitely entertaining, as even Simon said.

Been some pretty cool stuff on America's Got Talent. Like Terry Fator. That guy is amazing.

Okay, out of curiosity, I did just that.

And was absolutely blown out of the water.

I don't watch shows like that because, frankly, they bore me. But Terry Fator kept me entertained for over an hour, as I watched ALL of the videos of him on youtube from AGT.

Just.....wow.

Anyone see that German American Idol copy where the kid came in and did a (terrible) cover of Cannibal Corpse's "I Will Kill You"?

Okay......um.....hope I don't offend anyone here.....but I watched the kid and watched CC's version....frankly, I can't see much of a difference.....and I honestly can't understand any interest in either one.

Now I am sure all of the death metal fans here are going to roast me, but that's just my take on it.

And keep in mind, I am not against metal, even hardcore. Have enjoyed a good deal of it, more than I would have thought....had a friend who had a thrash metal band years ago in Phoenix, and I would go to their shows because they were just that good. But CC? I don't see it. At. All.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Vince Neil, Bret Michaels and indeed anyone who was a singer in a hair metal band in the 80s. :lol:

[Jester]

Not true. Most of them, true, but a few of them could flat out sing. Kip Winger comes to mind. Ditto the lead singer from Slaughter.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I have to agree with Jester. Many of the hair metal boys had pipes that could make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Watch Skid Row, Steel Heart, Winger, Def Leppard, Cinderella (allthough I'm not sure Tom Keefer would get past with that scratchy rasp, but he did have some serious range and control), and Living Color.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I nominate Kris Kristofferson . . .

and no, I don't think he sings that great. He can write some really powerful music, but he can't sing a note IMHO.

Could you see that audition?:p

[Lace Neil Singer]

I have to agree with Jester. Many of the hair metal boys had pipes that could make the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Watch Skid Row, Steel Heart, Winger, Def Leppard, Cinderella (allthough I'm not sure Tom Keefer would get past with that scratchy rasp, but he did have some serious range and control), and Living Color.

Not pop voices tho, which is what this thread is about... unless I missed something, which is also possible. XD

Also, please don't assume that I dislike hair metal as I don't; seeing as I have a giant Poison poster up on my wall, that gives that statement the lie. XD :roll:

[Gawdzillers]

Okay......um.....hope I don't offend anyone here.....but I watched the kid and watched CC's version....frankly, I can't see much of a difference.....and I honestly can't understand any interest in either one.

Now I am sure all of the death metal fans here are going to roast me, but that's just my take on it.

And keep in mind, I am not against metal, even hardcore. Have enjoyed a good deal of it, more than I would have thought....had a friend who had a thrash metal band years ago in Phoenix, and I would go to their shows because they were just that good. But CC? I don't see it. At. All.
Not everyone gets the appeal of death metal.
The kid's problem was that he was just doing a really low, distorted whisper.
George Fisher (CC's vocalist) actually has voice behind his growl. It's more of a low, distorted yell, really.

Had the kid sang this with the band playing behind him, nobody would hear him at all.

[DarthRetard]

Dave Mustaine

Tomas Kalnoky from Streetlight Manifesto (too raspy i guesses, correct me if im wrong Gawdzillers)

Lead singer from Killswitch Engage (or most hardcore singers actually)

Bruce Dickinson

Lead singer from Sweet (ballroom blitz for those who didnt know)