What a jerk!

[blas]

Honestly guys, who the hell breaks up with his girlfriend right before her BIRTHDAY? Especially after all the plans you made for it...........my whole weekend is ruined. I don't even want to go to my coworker's party tomorrow night. I don't even want to leave my apartment. At this very moment, I don't even want to go out on my birthday anymore with anyone.

What an asshole. I can't believe he did this to me. He's been acting strange lately, but I figured he'd at least have the decency, if anything were to happen, to do it a week or so before my birthday or even at least wait until after my birthday. But no. Today he comes over, acts all quiet, and then randomly says "We need to take a break", then throws the infamous "It's not you, it's me" line at me, and then blames it on himself for being in a funk and then trying to promise me that if we give it some time, he'll get over it. Ok, so he didn't really break up with me as in dump me, but still..

I haven't cried this much since my cousin died. This was the first guy I ever loved. I can tell anyone else "It's ok, you can move on, there's other fish in the sea", but when it happens to you, it's hard to follow your own advice.

[Greenday]

One of my sister's boyfriends dumped her ON her birthday. Which reminds me, I need to find him and hand him a royal beating.

I'm going to have to agree with him. It was him, not you. Because he's a complete freaking idiot to give you up. You're awesome as hell. I don't see how it could have been you.

[Gravekeeper]

O.o

What the heck?

Yeah, I'll agree with him. Though my wording would be different. "It's not you, I'm just a arsehole." perhaps.

[blas]

Well, in a way, I guess I should thank my lucky stars that he didn't do it on my birthday. That would have been much worse. At least right now I can just make other plans if people aren't already busy.

This is just awful.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Blas, I'm sorry this happened to you, but if it's any consolation at all, you now beyond a shadow of a doubt that the guy is a complete tool. I mean, for f:censored:k's sake, your BIRTHDAY? Instead of being sad, you should be

1. pissed as hell that he's such a complete and total shitbird
2. happy as hell that you are no longer dating him.

Look at it this way, you are shed of the dad, who I know you didn't much like. Apparenly, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

Next time you cry over it, think about the fact that the tool broke up with you RIGHT BEFORE YOUR BIRTHDAY. Getting mad really does help you get past it. :hug:

[Amethyst Hunter]

*offers many :hug:s*

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

That's awful, but as others have said, at least you aren't dating a total dick anymore.

Many hugs and chocolates and tasty beverages to you.

[crazylegs]

:wtf: Blas, as a member of the male species I can only apologise for this spinless example, I know you love him but someone who has exhibited this kind of slimy behaviour is best left well alone.

The day before your Birthday!

What an absolute tosser.

[tropicsgoddess]

Honestly guys, who the hell breaks up with his girlfriend right before her BIRTHDAY? Especially after all the plans you made for it...........my whole weekend is ruined.


Damn, that sucks that douche bag did that to you. It's YOUR birthday, it's supposed to be about YOU! Go out and do what you want, have fun, and don't let that asshat stop you from doing that. PM me if you want to talk.

[blas]

I feel a little better today. It's going to be so odd doing my grocery shopping alone and going to my once favorite places alone...........

I'm going to treat myself to a high tanning bed session today (and tomorrow I get a free one just for my birthday!) and then I'm going to give myself a haircut (don't worry, nothing crazy!) and then do my Saturday errands and have some Arby's and then go to my coworkers' party tonight.

All isn't well yet...but better than yesterday. One day at a time. One step at a time.

If anything, my little "makeover" will boost my spirits.

[ArcticChicken]

And it will be a little better tomorrow, and the day after that. You hang in there, and when you get to the point where you can be more angry than sad, smack him one for me, 'k?

[gunsage]

"It's not you, it's me"
I can honestly say I've never used that. Yes, I broke up with my wife (when we were still dating) twice and both times were equally lame, but it was never something as stupid as that. Honestly, if I was a girl and some dude broke up with me, I'd probably do this...

"You're right, it IS you. YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!!"

Then I'd act like I was going to walk past him, dart behind him and kidney punch him, then do a clawing reach around from hell! Men stink! Except me! I'm awesome! Kidding aside, I hope you're doing okay and try to have a good birthday anyway. Screw him!

[FuzzyKitten99]

There are worse things to have happen to you on your birthday. The mom of a friend of ours found out she had terminal pancratic cancer on her 48th birthday a couple years ago (she died 9 months later).

Believe me, this is nothing. Be thankful that you got to see another birthday.

I don't mean to be a downer, but ya gotta start making lemonade out of lemons.

[Saydrah]

What a fucktrumpet. Right before your birthday, when you had made plans together.....

Assclown.

Get that makeover done, dress up all cute, and go dancing at the nearest gay club. Seriously, that's the best thing in the world for cheering up a girl who just broke up with a guy- no lecherous men grinding on you, but plenty of guys who actually can dance, will listen to you complain about the jerk, and will tell you to get drunk, dance, and forget about him.

[Spiffy McMoron]

"It's not you, it's me"

As stupid and corny as it may sound, sometimes, it actually IS him, and not you. Where you're dating someone, the person you're dating may still be the same person that you fell in love with, but over that same period of time, you've changed. Maybe you're (and I'm using a general "you", I'm not talking about you, blas. :)) confused about what you're looking for, maybe you think that you're too young/immature for a certain level of committment, maybe you feel that you need to grow up on a personal level, or maybe that special something that initially attracted you to your partner doesn't hold the same appeal.

As to why now, well, maybe he didn't want to string you along any further, or maybe he'd spent the last two weeks trying to work up the courage to do it. I don't know.

That being said, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. It sucks and it's hard, but if you are able to learn, develop, and grow from the experience, then I would say that it was worth it--even if you think I'm full of shit for saying so. :p

[blas]

Although I am pissed that he did it on that particular day, I knew something was coming soon. So I'm not really shocked, so to speak, but still sad.

To add insult to injury, Friday he said "We can still go on out on your birthday if you want." Of course I won't take him up on that.

Well I had a great time tonight. I met my friends at the bar at midnight and got countless drinks bought for me :) I had two Sex on the Beaches, one Summer Hummer, one Jagerbomb (NEVER again! eeeeh!!!) and one shot of I don't even know what the hell what, and I attempted to drink a White Russian but it had so much vodka in it I couldn't manange. Some random hot guy even chatted with me!

Silly me, the same friends I went out with tonight...I completely forgot it was our "year" anniversary of being friends. We met one year ago at my 20th birthday when my friend brought me to a party where they all were. So we had yet another thing to celebrate!

I made it home and now I'm going to bed and going to soak up my free upgrade tan tomorrow and eat lunch with my parents and watch the Packer game

Edit: Forgot to add...I MET THE LOCAL WEATHERMAN FROM THE DAILY NOON NEWS! Ok, no tomato throwing, it's not that big of a city, the biggest celebs around here are the news and weather folk. My friend introduced me to him (so funny to see a weatherman totally wasted!) and he said happy birthday and called me gorgeous and gave me a hug! I danced back to my seat like a crazy buffoon!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sorry that happened to you, Hon. :hug:

Best piece of advice I can give you is to start paying better attention to YOU. Pamper yourself a bit . . . go do something fun, buy yourself something cute. Hook up with a girlfriend for a dinner out.

In other words: keep yourself occupied.

I've also heard that "other fish in the sea" many times, but it's seems to artificial when you're the one on the short end of the stick.

Hang in there . . . and take things one day at a time. :)

[MadMike]

Honestly guys, who the hell breaks up with his girlfriend right before her BIRTHDAY?

I guess the same type of guy who tells his wife on Valentine's Day that he wants a divorce. That happened to a woman I work with, and they had three kids together.

She's the quiet type, and doesn't normally use bad language of any kind (don't think I ever even heard her say "damn"), but she did say her ex-husband's name was Dick, and that he lived up to it. :devil:

Back on topic, the last sentence in your post sums it up: It's easy to say "move on, it will be OK", when it's someone else and not you, just like it's easy to realize the relationship is bad when you're not the one in it.

One thing to remember, you're still young and have plenty of time to find the right someone. Hell, I was just graduating high school when you were born.

OK, now I'm depressed... :ashamed:

[Spiffy McMoron]

I guess the same type of guy who tells his wife on Valentine's Day that he wants a divorce. That happened to a woman I work with, and they had three kids together.

Heh. Your story reminded me of my best friend, who was dumped by his girlfriend of two years--on February 13th--while he was at work--with no advanced warning--and she did it by saying, "I'm leaving, can I have my car keys?"

Poor guy. He's been with a far better woman for the past three years or so, though.

[blas]

I guess I'm not the only victim of poor timing and scheming.

[Saydrah]

I had a friend whose boyfriend dumped her on Valentine's Day because he didn't want to buy a gift!

ETA: She hadn't even asked for a gift.

[morgana]

There are worse things to have happen to you on your birthday.

Yeah.

My father died on mine.

Glad you're feeling better, though, Blas. And that you had a good time in spite of the weasel. You can do better than him.

And you will.

[Seshat]

I guess I'm not the only victim of poor timing and scheming.


Nope, far from it.

Here's my story - and if I saw it in fiction, I wouldn't believe it.

J and I shared the same birthday. We and our boyfriends spent the day together.

J left her boyfriend. On that day.

When we heard - still on our birthday - my boyfriend said to me 'well, sorry, but I like her better and she's available now, seeya.'

J ended up marrying the guy who broke up with me on J's and my birthday, and their relationship has been quite rocky.

Several months after the breakups, J's former boyfriend and I got together. Eventually we married too, and we've been happy together.

So that's my 'if it was a soap opera I'd call it overdone' unbelievable break-up story.


It hurts like hell when people break up with you, blas, but you DO get over it, and eventually you find out that you like yourself how you are and don't actually NEED that loser anyway.

Then you either happily live alone, or find someone who likes who he/she is, and share a happy life with them.

[Primer]

My Story: On our 8th anniversary, I gave my ex a card that said, "On Our Anniversary, I wish for You the Very Best." Inside I wrote, "So I want to give you what you've been asking for--a divorce." He came back with, "But I got over being upset." Funny, he never told ME that.

I'm a whole lot better off without him, though.

[cinema guy]

An ex-co-worker of mine dumped his girlfriend on Christams Eve. Scumbag.

[Dips]

While on the subject of scumbags.

Mr. Dips' biological father walked out on his wife and kids one Christmas Eve. The weasel didn't even have the decency to tell his wife he was leaving.

He used Mr. Dips as an unwitting messenger by asking him to give his mother a sealed "Dear Jane" note ten minutes after biodad walked out pretending he was running an errand.

When his mom read the note, she burst into tears and Mr. Dips blamed himself for making his mom sad.

He was ten.

The good news about all these stories is that good people are well shed of some horrible jerks. In a way the jerks may have done a favor by showing their true colors so spectactularly. It leaves little chance that you're going to give the guy/girl a chance to hurt you again. I think it also makes moving on much easier. For example, my MIL eventually met and married the guy I call my FIL here on the forums and he is a wonderful second father to Mr. Dips and his little brother. :)

[strawbabies]

He's a scumbag who doesn't deserve you. Please PM me if you need to talk. I'm having guy issues myself.

[blas]

I remember that thread of yours, strawbabies, and yes, we seem to be in the same boat. Although yours was totally random and mine I was pretty much expecting (just not so close to my birthday!), I'm sure we're both hurting equally.

I've been going through periods these past couple of days. Saturday until about 4 pm I laid on the couch in my own laziness and bawled my eyes out some more. I got the courage to shower, go out and grocery shop, then I crawled back into my hole. Then I met my friends and had a great time.

I was ecstatic to go to lunch with my parents yesterday, but as soon as it got to be about 2 pm, when bf and I were originally going to go out, I got really lethargic and just laid on my parents' couch and didn't get up until 10. Then I went home and bawled some more. EVERY time I start to perk up, something brings memories of him back and I start getting sad again.

I don't trust that he's ever going to call back or want to get back together like he said.

[PepperElf]

:( suckage.
*gives you lots of hugs*
and cake. cake is always good.


a few years ago i stopped making birthday plans, at least any plan involving other people. i wasted the entire birthday waiting for a guy i really had a crush on, cried a lot when i realized he was never going to show. (i got a birthday email like 1130 pm on my birthday, that was it from him). after that... screw everyone else, my birthday is mine and i only did what i wanted to do.

all i can say is... it won't feel like it now... but eventually you do find someone who changes it, who is determined to make the day special. someone who gets more excited about your birthday than you do.

but in the meantime... do what i did... be determined to make your birthday as special as possible. get a glamour photo, go to a spa, your favorite place to eat... alone or with people who want to tag along, spend as much time at your favorite stores... basically do what makes you feel happy and peaceful.

(and yeah, the glamour photo feels damned nice too... i did that a couple of years after the b'day stand-up. felt damned sexy...)

*hugs*

[Seshat]

I don't trust that he's ever going to call back or want to get back together like he said.

You shouldn't want him to.