Would you go Home Please?

[AnqeiicDemise]

I came home, pissed off, irritated and with the mood to just walk through the door, grab the husband and just maul his ass. I mean, that need to just shove him against the wall, tear , off his clothes and have him.. right there... against the wall.


And then I hear her voice.

"Demise is home! YAy!"

My mood went from frustrated-horny to just depressed/annoyed. I swear, I just felt like curling up into a ball and cry.


Every one of my days off, she's here, to visit.... and won't leave. I mean, literally won't leave unless I shove my husband into the bedroom and have my way with him.. and even then, she WAITS outside in the livingroom more than half the time.

I make it clear I want her to go home-- I have even gone as far as to say "Okay, its time for me to go to sleep. I have work early tomorrow." proceed to head to the bedroom and lie down. She then proceeds to rope the hubs into another half hour of conversation until she fails and goes home. Which, of course, gets me pissed off because a) I want to make love to him. b) can't sleep without him. c)I'm tired of hearing her fucking voice.

I love her, but christ, I WANT ME SOME ME TIME! I WANT SOME HUSBAND/DEMISE TIME!!


goddamnit.

GO HOME!

-sigh-

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

No comment.....

[AnqeiicDemise]

Another rant:

She doesn't have a phone. She asked if she could use ours as a message phone for her hubs as he had recently applied at a place.

What does she do? Come over to use our phone.....and won't get the fuck off.

HELLO? My hubs is waiting on call backs too, can you stop the fucking talking just in case? And what the hell is he now, your personal techie? (I just found out today she brought over her laptop to be fixed and spent godknows how long on the fucking phone --long distance-- while that was worked on.

I feel used.

If its not for the company, its for the phone or hub's fixing skills.


And if I hear her make one more comment on how 'dumb' the husband is or how he needs to do X because he has a penis, I'm going to kill her. PMS or just because its how 'its done in the south', HAVE SOME FUCKING RESPECT. (We've actually gotten into arguments about this that has ended up in her leaving when she realized I was not kidding and I was pissed off.)

/rant deux

Now I feel better. Hubby decided to play for me 'Blood' by Buktic (the opening song to Trinity Blood). -squeal-

[Kittish]

Sounds to me like it's time to set aside being polite and tactful and TELL this person "Ok, you won't take a gentle hint, so it's time for you to leave. NOW. GET OUT. Don't come back until you're invited." While you're saying this, escort her to the door, and close the door gently but firmly in her face as you finish your statement. *shrug* People have it drummed into them never to be rude to 'guests' but there are times and situations where I think a little tactical rudeness is called for. After all, it's YOUR home, not hers or her husband's.

[monolayth]

ever try to walk right up to her and tellher to go home? and use the exact phrase" go home now!"

i have a friend that will stay for days unless you say that to her.

[Kiwi]

sorry who is this? a family member or a friend

either way I would be walking then to the door with my boot!!!!

[ArenaBoy]

The polite act needs to be dropped. All I can say is to tell to her to leave. Heck, tell her to fuck off if you have to. Also have a talk with her about phone bills and that if she keeps it up then she can start paying for them. And the tech thing too. Tell her that your husband starts charging. $200 an hour if you really want her out of your hair.

[Mr. Rager!]

I mean, that need to just shove him against the wall, tear , off his clothes and have him.. right there... against the wall.

My mood went from frustrated-horny to just depressed/annoyed.

Have you told your husband that? I mean there was even a slight chance that my girlfriend would do that to me, we would have no company. I do very much mean that too.

[Saydrah]

Yeah, what FashionLad said.

Getting sex > chatting with annoying neighbor.

Getting sex > being polite and tactful to annoying neighbor.


Who the heck is this person to just barge into your house and demand your time and energy?

Next time she comes over, instruct your husband to say, "Sorry, we are busy right now and can't accomodate a guest. We'll invite you over when our schedules allow." If that doesn't get the point across, try, "I'm sorry, we have decided to welcome only INVITED visitors in our home from now on."

As for using your phone- "No thanks, I'm not comfortable with the responsibility of ensuring important messages reach your husband. I just can't guarantee I won't accidentally delete any. I hear Phone Company has great deals right now- you should get a phone of your own!"

Laptop Repair- "He'd be glad to. He charges $60/hour for that service, with a $60.00 minimum charge."

[PepperElf]

o hell yeah. unless she's family she shouldnt even have access to the house .... not sure if she's waiting inside for you .. or just outside?

anyway...

"Demise is home! YAy!"
"Not today. I am going to spend time with my husband. All day and night."

if she tries to wait outside...
"No. You are NOT going to wait on my doorstep for me to finish with him. .... My friendship with you does NOT come before my marriage. My marriage is NOT just something that happens between the days i chat with you... it is the PRIORITY of my life. I understand you're bored... but frankly... you're getting obsessive and I need him more than I need you."

she'll not like it but... no child ever likes learning what "no" means.

then go and start enjoying your marriage. do not make any time for her that day at all.

she needs to learn about boundaries.

[Sylvia727]

If this person waits in your living room after you've made it plain that you're about to have sex in your bedroom...I think you're past the point of subtlety. You should tell her "Get the fuck out." Or just "Get out NOW," if you want to give tactful another shot. But since you haven't said anything to her yet, I assume you have some sort of ties to her? Is she perchance a relative of hubby's? Then he needs to back you up on this. His wife is more important than whoever this twit is. If she is an in-law, there is a reason many families only meet at holidays, and it is because they drive each other insane.

[AnqeiicDemise]

No, she's not family but she IS the only person of confidence we have in Washington. I.e. we met a few years ago, hit it off as friends and I became her roomie when I moved up here seven months ago (wow, time flies).

Part of the problem is, I am sure, that history of shared living space. We lived together long enough to be comfortable around each other and not ask if we can touch the fridge or use certain dishes at home. She was the person who gave me ALL of the plates I own and a bunch of little things that made my home, mine once I moved in. (Hubs and I had NOTHING outside of a dresser, a bed and a bookshelf).

Friend has the 'mothering' issue. She's the type that onces you've reached a stage in the friendship she'll go into 'mother mode' and will treat you like her kid. Drives me up a fucking wall sometimes and at other times, I'm thankful to have *someone* care for me to that degree in a place where my mother is two states away.

So yes, its hard for me to say "get the fuck out, F" because I've grown to consider her family. Like a little big sister as she's younger than me by a few years but has the habit of acting a lot older. If she were just a former room mate that we didn't get along very well or a close friend I would have no issue going "hey... don't you want to spend time with your husband or something?I'm sure he misses you."

And she's sensitive to boot. The wrong word and she'll burst out crying.

-.-

Then I'm SOL as I'm a total dude when shit like that happens. I can handle yelling, screaming, fighting and just downright brawling. When someone cries, I get the 'deer in the headlight' look, especially if this someone's a girl. It makes me uncomfortable and apprehensive. Part of me wants to go "shut the hell up.", the other wants to apologize and overall I'm just stand there like an idiot.

[Jester]

You can do this without saying get the fuck out.

Be polite but firm.

"I'm sorry, but it's time for you and/or your husband to get your own phone. We are not your personal phone service. We need our phone for our own personal and business use. And since you are making long-distance calls, it really is time for you to get your own phone."

"I'm sorry, but my husband has helped you out innumerous times with your computer, but if you continue to need his help, he is going to need some financial compensation for his time and skills."

"I'm sorry, but I'd like to spend some time with my husband. Alone. Now. Please go home."

Polite. But firm.

If she cries? Her problem. Stand your ground. It is your home. It is your husband's home. It is not HER home. You need to realize this, your husband needs to realize this, and most importantly, SHE needs to realize this.

[BlaqueKatt]

sadly if that happened to me I'd start to wonder if she didn't have ideas about my husband-sitting in the living room while you have "happy fun time" with hubby-can we say massive boundary issues?

Start setting some bounderies-obviously this was not done in the past and she's using it to walk all over you and hubby, and it may not be an issue right now, but it can lead to Massive trouble in your relationship later(issues like this is why I divorced my second husband-father of my child-who I moved 4 states away to be with)

and the Crying-feelings of guilt-read this book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000OEHSU2/ref=nosim/addallbooksearch) by Dr. Susan Forward

[blas]

Do what I did after my obsessive little friend couldn't get the hint that I wanted to go to bed and didn't want any company.

Shut the phone off, and lock the door.

I made the grave mistake of not locking my door once, and the little shit pounded on my door and then realized it was unlocked, let herself in, went into my room, tore the blankets off of me, and screamed at me for not answering my phone or the door.

I never made that mistake again. And I was more than ready to turn the phone back on to call the cops if she did it again.

[Boozy]

I've found that many people who cry when told something they don't want to hear are not doing it because they are genuinely hurt. They do it in order to manipulate the other person into changing their mind.

You'd know better than me if that's the kind of person she is, but keep it in mind. It might help you grow a spine when dealing with her.

[Seshat]

If she IS genuinely hurt by a 'please go home', then she desperately needs psychiatric help.

[XCashier]

and the Crying-feelings of guilt-read this book (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000OEHSU2/ref=nosim/addallbooksearch) by Dr. Susan Forward
Here's a better link: http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate/dp/0060928972/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202159699&sr=1-1