My big guy got busted!

[Misanthropical]

I asked my big guy if he got his girlfriend a Valentine's Day gift. He told me no, she broke up with him. I asked him what was going on.

It seems that my big guy is a bit of a player and was dating two girls at once. They found out about each other and both of them storm over to him and break up with him, at the same time.

I tried not to laugh and told him that he deserved that and that I told him awhile ago that it's never a good idea to date more than one girl at once, girls do not like that and they do find out.

He tried to come up excuses and his dad took his side by saying our son should play the field. I told them both they were out of their minds.

[Saydrah]

:lol:BUS-ted!

However, I do think teens date exclusively too young. Time was (well, before I was born) you had to date for a while, then decide to go steady- now they assume if you have a couple dates you are going steady automatically. But if he was playing them both- BUSTED! Ha! Bet those girls end up best friends now, too.

[Greenday]

Play the field, one at a time maybe. This is an important lesson in life. When you have a girlfriend, and you are young, you cannot have any other girl-friends. You will not hear the end of it. As you get older, things go to the extremes. Either your SO is cool with letting you hang out with anyone, or they are totally anal about it.

So, he'll just have to learn it the hard way. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

[Saydrah]

Hey, I was already poly by the time I was 15- I'm just BETTER at it now that I'm a bit older. But don't explain that concept to him just yet- he'll waste all his time explaining it to girls, getting slapped, and being disappointed :D

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Playing the field is one thing. Lying to two girls by not being honest about their status with him is entirely different.

He can date 10 girls at once, as long as he's honest about it. But I guess he just learned that the hard way. :lol:

[Rapscallion]

Um, if he was honest he'd never date ten girls at once.

Heh - I'm still chuckling from the first post.

Rapscallion

[Saydrah]

Hm, I don't know about that, Raps, I think it would be POSSIBLE.

Smart?

NO WAY. Girls are too high maintenance for that many- even the low maintenance ones are higher maintenance than guys!

I think three is plenty, max.

[blas87]

There is nothing wrong with dating around casually as long as you are open and honest and do not make any promises to anyone and you aren't out to use girls.

No offense to the OP, but your husband was a total dolt and a pig for taking your son's side and advising him to "play the field". If he were my husband, he'd be sleeping in the dog house for the next 2 months.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Hmmm . . . this casual dating is a foreign concept to me. :headscratch:

My theory has always been: if I like the guy, I keep seeing him and ONLY him for the duration of the relationship.

I've never just casually dated anyone, but then I've been known to not date for years in between relationships, which is why I haven't dated more guys than I have.

And yes, I've broken up with one guy because I found out he had arranged to go on a date with another girl . . . a 16 year old high school kid at that. That "Romeo" got the heave-ho and I didn't blink an eye.

Maybe I'm just odd that way.:lol:

[Melxb]

Busted indeed! :wave:

I don't think there's anything wrong with people dating more than one person--as long as everyone knows what the deal is. I've been one of three girls a guys has been dating and that's ok, because we were all loosely part of the same group of friends so we all knew each other.

I have also date two guys at the same time. One guys wasn't really cool with it, but he liked me a lot so he just gritted his teeth. Both guys knew about the other, but didn't know each other. That was fine too.

As long everyone knows the score--have fun! :D

[Saydrah]

Just beware shocked neighbors if you have multiple relationships :angel:

Mine gave me funny looks when both my primary SO and the guy I'm casually dating helped me scrape off the inch thick sheet of ice on my car the other day and both got kisses goodbye.

[BookstoreEscapee]

DGoddess, I am the same way. My last relationship was 2 years, and I haven't dated anyone since we broke up a little over 2 years ago. Not that I wouldn't like to, but I haven't met anyone.

[Crazeyal]

You play the game, you take the risks. There is no defense to lying. You want to date other people, it's been done successfully. If you are saying you are in a monogomous relationship and aren't.. I have no respect for you, and little care if you are "bummed" when caught. (That was the white-bread version of my reaction.. I hadda edit it a bit to keep DOS MODERATORS from commenting)

It doesn't matter your age.


No offense Mis.

[Misanthropical]

Crazeyal, no offense taken. I warned the boy what would happen if he dated more than one girl at a time.

He just turned 15, so I blame his momentary lapse of judgment on his youth.

Hopefully, he learned a lesson from it all.

[Gravekeeper]

I'm with DGoddess and Bookstore on this. I could never date "casually" so to speak. I'd date one person long enough to decide if its a relationship worth pursuing or not before I'd begin dating someone else.

I dunno, no offense to anyone, it just strikes me as disrespectful to date multiple people casually, even if you are being honest about it. That makes it seem more like a job application then a possible romance. "Hey, btw, I'm dating two other girls too, so good luck! If you don't hear back in 2 weeks you may want to apply somewhere else."

But whatever floats your boat. What other people do is none of my business as long as no one's being hurt.

[Saydrah]

Hm. Maybe I don't have that reaction (even to non-poly people dating multiple people casually as long as they're honest) because I don't think all dating is necessarily a "Do we have the potential for a serious relationship" thing. I mean, relationships are nice, and if they weren't I sure wouldn't put up with this SNORING *glares at sleeping SO and throws socks at him* but I don't know that they're the goal for all dating. I wouldn't ever see myself in a relationship with most of the people I've dated casually- but that doesn't mean we don't have a pleasant time together. The end result doesn't have to be a relationship for it to be mutually rewarding- and I'm not even talking in innuendos here, I'm talking about enjoying some good company of your preferred gender and eventually parting ways amicably when one or both of you realize it's time to stop seeing each other.

[blas87]

I agree, GK. Before I got together with my last boyfriend, I dated around. I went on dates often, with different guys. But I made it clear to them that I was looking for a guy who was serious about a relationship, a guy who was responsible, etc etc etc etc etc......and I knew I'd have to really "shop around" to find a guy like that. Most guys I only went on one date with, because they were more interested in sex buddies, dating several girls at a time, were on the "rebound", or whatever reason.

I'd prefer if every situation were one guy one girl (well, one guy one guy or one girl one girl, whichever orientation you are).

[Gravekeeper]

Hm. Maybe I don't have that reaction (even to non-poly people dating multiple people casually as long as they're honest) because I don't think all dating is necessarily a "Do we have the potential for a serious relationship" thing. I mean, relationships are nice, and if they weren't I sure wouldn't put up with this SNORING *glares at sleeping SO and throws socks at him* but I don't know that they're the goal for all dating. I wouldn't ever see myself in a relationship with most of the people I've dated casually- but that doesn't mean we don't have a pleasant time together. The end result doesn't have to be a relationship for it to be mutually rewarding- and I'm not even talking in innuendos here, I'm talking about enjoying some good company of your preferred gender and eventually parting ways amicably when one or both of you realize it's time to stop seeing each other.

Well, I was speaking from my point of view. I don't do flings or short term relationships so the only point for me for dating would be an actual relationship. But still, even if you're just doing the fling thing, doing it with more then one person at a time ( without the consent of all involved ) is probably going to get you kicked in the balls and/or on Springer ( Also probably being kicked in the balls. Possibly by a midget. ). ^^

[Saydrah]

No, if my SO would finally give it a try, he'd get a boot out the door and a big smooch ^_^ I've been trying to talk him into dating this cute girl he knows FOREVER!

He's stubborn, though, he's more like you, only does relationships. Says he got enough of being a man-whore when he was a teenager.

[Gravekeeper]

I agree, GK. Before I got together with my last boyfriend, I dated around. I went on dates often, with different guys. But I made it clear to them that I was looking for a guy who was serious about a relationship, a guy who was responsible, etc etc etc etc etc......and I knew I'd have to really "shop around" to find a guy like that. Most guys I only went on one date with, because they were more interested in sex buddies, dating several girls at a time, were on the "rebound", or whatever reason.

I'd prefer if every situation were one guy one girl (well, one guy one guy or one girl one girl, whichever orientation you are).

One guy one sheep, etc.

But yes. F*ck buddies was another thing I never understood. I understand the explanations people have for it, mind you. I just can't personally understand why you'd want too. But I'm either too old fashion or too new fashion for most of the silliness I hear about in the news these days. ;p

[Saydrah]

I'm a big believer in "some people just aren't made that way." Re: Lifetime exclusive committment to one person? Yeah, I'm not made that way. So, it would be totally hypocritical to think everyone should fit into MY mold when I don't fit into theirs. Nothing wrong with not wanting short term relationships/flings/f*ckbuddies. It's the people who think one way or another is intrinsically BETTER that tick me off. I mean, hello, there are almost 7 billion of us- there are GOING to be different preferences for style of relationship.

[Gravekeeper]

No, if my SO would finally give it a try, he'd get a boot out the door and a big smooch ^_^ I've been trying to talk him into dating this cute girl he knows FOREVER!

He's stubborn, though, he's more like you, only does relationships. Says he got enough of being a man-whore when he was a teenager.

I don't think I'd refer to my viewpoint as just being "stubborn". If he doesn't want to, don't force him. ;p

Gah, my whole train of thought was just derailed by a colossally stupid statement from a caller.... ><

[Gravekeeper]

I'm a big believer in "some people just aren't made that way." Re: Lifetime exclusive committment to one person? Yeah, I'm not made that way. So, it would be totally hypocritical to think everyone should fit into MY mold when I don't fit into theirs. Nothing wrong with not wanting short term relationships/flings/f*ckbuddies. It's the people who think one way or another is intrinsically BETTER that tick me off. I mean, hello, there are almost 7 billion of us- there are GOING to be different preferences for style of relationship.

I never said they should conform to my viewpoint. Just that I don't understand it personally ( as in I could never do it myself ). But like I said, whatever floats your boat, its not my business long as you aren't hurting anyone.

[blas87]

I deeply respect you, Saydrah, so let's just agree to disagree :)

I'm glad you are able to maintain these types of relationships without hurting people's feelings. Most people, and I do mean most, are not able to be as honest and open as you, and do end up hurting people very much. I have been the victim of several guys who have just wanted to be with as many girls as possible at once without telling me, etc etc, and I think it's only acceptable if everyone is open and honest and no one is bothered by the others.

[Saydrah]

Totally. I'm completely 100% against that kind of dishonesty. I've met a few people who don't get the whole "honest" thing and the fact that yes, I have rules and agreements that I go by in my relationships, yes I DO tell my primary SO everything, and NO I am not going to break any of the rules of our relationship that have taken us years to work out the details of. Those people tend to get an angry lecture and then spend the rest of the time we know each other refusing to understand why, exactly, I would choose a long term relationship that makes me happy over sneaking around for NO reason whatsoever. :rolleyes:

And GK, that statement about my SO was intended to be a bit tongue in cheek- if you had more context (like tone of voice), it would have probably come across better. It's a long running silly argument of ours, which tends to be one of the ways we, both very strong willed and argumentative people, show affection. Usually ends up with much giggling and some pillow fighting.

[Gravekeeper]

And GK, that statement about my SO was intended to be a bit tongue in cheek- if you had more context (like tone of voice), it would have probably come across better. It's a long running silly argument of ours, which tends to be one of the ways we, both very strong willed and argumentative people, show affection. Usually ends up with much giggling and some pillow fighting.

Ahh, ok.

I'll go march over to blas's agree to disagree camp. Maybe she has an extra tent. ( and Smore's, there better be Smore's ) =p

If it works for you, great, whatever blows your hair back and I'll respect your choices. They are yours after all. Not mine ( Or anyone else's ) business what goes on in other people's lives / bedrooms ( Despite what some frothing groups seem to think ). Long as no one's being hurt. Thats my general rule.

[blas87]

All I have right now are Uncrustables and Smart Ones desserts. The damn squirrels made off with my choccies and grahm crackers :cry:

[Saydrah]

/me praises her squirrely minions

[Gravekeeper]

All I have right now are Uncrustables and Smart Ones desserts. The damn squirrels made off with my choccies and grahm crackers :cry:

I'm not sure what an "Uncrustable" is but it doesn't exactly scream appetizing.

[blas87]

Uncrustables are somewhat new products in the frozen food section (usually by the pizza rolls and whatnot, food for non-domestic types like me). They are sandwhiches with no crust on them. They come in different flavors like PB&J and grilled cheese, etc. They are quite delicious, cheap, and satisfying.

[purplecat41877]

Uncrustables are round shaped sandwiches that can be found in the frozen section of the grocery store. My favorite flavor is the one with peanut butter and strawberry jelly.:)

[Gravekeeper]

...wait, so its a frozen peanut butter sandwich? That sounds even less appetizing.. ><

[blas87]

You put them in the microwave :)

I hate crust, so these things are perfect. They really are good, you'll just have to trust me on this one.

[Gravekeeper]

You put them in the microwave :)

I hate crust, so these things are perfect. They really are good, you'll just have to trust me on this one.

I make my own bread at home. I don't need your silly frozen sandwich pucks. I can just cut the crust off. ;p

[purplecat41877]

I never put them in the microwave. I put them in the fridge for a while and eat them right out of the package.:D

[Gravekeeper]

I never put them in the microwave. I put them in the fridge for a while and eat them right out of the package.:D

I keep picturing something like two Eggo waffles glued together with a disk of peanut butter.

[Misanthropical]

The big guy told me that one of the girls had basically stop talking to him, so he figured it was her way of breaking up with him. He then started dating the other girl.

I guess the first girl took offense and talked to the second girl and teenage drama came about.

He told me he does not understand girls at all.

A side note, the first girl was the one who approached me in the store when I was with the big guy (this was awhile ago) and got upset that I was with "her man". I informed her that I was his mother and she was not making a good impression. She is a jealous little thing.

[Dreamstalker]

He told me he does not understand girls at all.
I still don't understand some guys.
A side note, the first girl was the one who approached me in the store when I was with the big guy (this was awhile ago) and got upset that I was with "her man". I informed her that I was his mother and she was not making a good impression. She is a jealous little thing.
Yikes!

[Rapscallion]

I still don't understand some guys.


We're fairly easy to understand.

We need feeding regularly, plenty of sleep, correct nutrients every so often, plenty to drink, and we burp and fart with reckless abandon. A bit like babies, but we don't tend to cry so much.

Rapscallion

[Broomjockey]

A bit like babies, but we don't tend to cry so much.

Rapscallion

Unless we're sick. Then all bets are off.

[blas87]

Just goes to show, even a lifetime of being raised by your mother to treat women well doesn't always guarantee the guy won't become a player.

And on the flip-side, even a lifetime of being raised by your father to not tolerate anything less than being treated like a real woman doesn't guarantee the girl won't become a plush toy and pushover when it comes to men.

Not saying anyone here is a bad parent. Not at all. It just goes to show that children truly do think for themselves and will do whatever they want regardless of what you say. Naughty little things, they are. I was one once. I didn't listen. Look at me now. All I attract are arseholes, and I LET them.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Just beware shocked neighbors if you have multiple relationships :angel:

Mine gave me funny looks when both my primary SO and the guy I'm casually dating helped me scrape off the inch thick sheet of ice on my car the other day and both got kisses goodbye.

If I'm dating ONE guy, my neighbors are commenting . . .just yesterday our next door neighbor commented to my mom on noticing a guy coming around quite a lot over the last few months (more like a year or so now.) She just laughed it off and just told him it was my b/f . . .

I thought it was funny when my mother told me that . . . I'm just waiting for him now to mention seeing two different vehicles parking in the driveway . . .

I don't have a revolving back door . . . my b/f has 2 vehicles. So, if the neighbors see either a brown 1998 Chevrolet full size truck with a toolbox in the back OR a big white 2002 Chevrolet Avalanche 4WD w/sunroof . . .don't worry. It's the same Bonehead . . . he just has 2 vehicles that he rotates between.:lol:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

We're fairly easy to understand.

We need feeding regularly, plenty of sleep, correct nutrients every so often, plenty to drink, and we burp and fart with reckless abandon. A bit like babies, but we don't tend to cry so much.

Rapscallion

Not to mention stimulating physical activity on a regular basis:angel:

Unless we're sick. Then all bets are off.

Unless you're my b/f, in which case he stays home under the covers with his cell phone turned OFF so nobody from the Tree (or his older son) calls to bug him.

While we women just want to be left alone if we're sick . . . or at least I do. Just drop off some Theraflu on the nightstand, a cold drink and scram.:lol:

[Saydrah]

She got mad at his MOTHER for being with him?

I'd have trouble being pissed at her, because I'd be busy being flattered she thought I was young enough to date my own son... at least, that's what I think I'd do if I had a son.

[Misanthropical]

Saydrah, you would not believe how many times I have been mistaken for his girlfriend. I'm always flattered, but he gets grossed out. :lol:

I once had a co-worker who was convinced I was cheating on my husband, because he drove by and saw me hugging and giving a kiss to a man who was too tall to be my husband.

I had to inform him that the "man" he saw me giving a kiss to and hugging on was MY SON. In my family, if someone is leaving they get a kiss and a hug good-bye, which is why I was giving my son a kiss and hugs. :rolleyes:

[Saydrah]

Aww, I kinda feel bad for your son, but how funny! He must be mortified.

Hmm, maybe you can punish him if he misbehaves by giving him a really sloppy goodbye kiss on the cheek in front of his classmates, so he has to explain to all of them that that was his mom... :devil:

[Misanthropical]

Saydrah, if he calls me "shorty" one more time I just might! He towers over me, so he thinks that is the height of hilarity.

[Spiffy McMoron]

He told me he does not understand girls at all.

Join the club. :p

[Broomjockey]

Saydrah, if he calls me "shorty" one more time I just might! He towers over me, so he thinks that is the height of hilarity.

I always thought it was. :D Just ask my mom, it was one of two jokes I'd use on a regular basis with her.