OK Enough is a enough.

[Tanasi]

When we finished building our house my wife was starting up her landscape architechure business and she wanted to use our home as a show place. I thought OK it will help her and give her something to do with the kids. I did make it plain that I didn't want any messy trees and the yard maintenance was her responsibilbity, I would mow the yard but I wasn't trimming any bushes or planting any freaking flowers. He agreed and promptly planted several expensive dwarf asian willow trees. I hate willow trees, they break easy in the wind, they are really really messy, offer little to no shade and I hate willow trees.
Flash back to yesterday morning I have a business appointment and I'm running a little late. I want to make a good impression so I want to drive my car, so I open the garage door and lo and behold a rather large limb the one of those willow trees is blocking my car in and it's too big to move without cutting it up. The only options I have it to drive my truck that is covered with mud or one of my antique cars (and it's raining). So I choose the truck and run it through a car wash (yeah I know it's raining and you're washing a truck, hey I own the blame car wash). On the way to my appointment I call my wife and she say's she'll have it removed. I return later in the evening and the limb is still there. This morning it's still there by this time I'm not angry I'm freaking mad mostly because this isn't the first, second or third time this has happened. I cut the limb up and haul it off and I'm still mad, I'm tired of that damned tree and I want it gone so I cut the blamed thing down and haul it off and then go into the office. Did I mention I hate willow trees?
I'm feeling a little better but I'm still po'd and then about an hour ago I get a text message from my wife stating "Just wait until you get home". I figure that a big arguement is going to take place.
So do you think I need to wear my asbestos underwear and my kevlar?

[CanadaGirl]

Well you did give her "free range" with the landscaping. Does she know you hate willow trees? Maybe both of you could come up with a compromise? Maybe try shopping together for new trees that both of you like.

[morgana]

You're in the right.

But you probably still need the kevlar and asbestos underwear. :rolleyes:

[Saydrah]

You are IN for it, pal.

Did you really have to cut the poor tree DOWN? Couldn't you have just cut off the offending limb and parked elsewhere, then brought up your dislike of willow trees later?

[marasbaras]

Why should he be in for it?

Let me be perfectly blunt here: if his wife wants to be a landscaper, then she needs to really get a clue. Blocking parking access due to a tree is going to anger any homeowner.

If I hired a landscaper and they left things like that, I'd have bad, bad things to say about them.

And, his wife DID say she'd take care of the limb ... and didn't. Even after agreeing in the first place that he wasn't going to have to do much more than the normal lawn mowing. Sounds like she's 100% in the wrong here.

[monolayth]

He should have at least notified her of his intent to cut down the tree.

I am sorry but just retaliation of just cutting down the tree was a bit overboard.

Yes he is tired of it. Yes she did not keep up her end of the deal. But going straight to the extreme of cutting down the tree is a bit too far in my point of view.

Unless of corse, he has notified her of his intention or desire to cut down the tree.

[Tanasi]

An update:

Oh boy am I in trouble. My wife isn't talking to me (other than yell) she won't even look at me if she can help it. Friday night she slept in her office on the hide-a-bed, which in my opinion was silly since I don't spend more than an hour or two a night in the bed (I can't sleep laying down very well I usually sleep in a recliner).
All Saturday she was out in the yard working and still wouldn't talk to me. I made a real nice dinner and asked if she wanted to go dancing. Surprisingly she accepted but was very very quite (normally her mouth runs a mile a minute). So after a few hours of two-stepping we come home and she stays in our room. Today still not talking but she's getting over her mad.

To answer a few questions yes I did give her free reign on the yard along with the yard maintenance responsibility (I quit mowing when the kids got big enough to mow.) When she planted the willows I told her I didn't like them because they're very very messy but nothing doing her but to plant them. I figured since they're dwarf trees (no taller than 20 feet) they shouldn't be too much of a problem. Well when you plant one right next to a wet weather spring that dwarf part goes out the window. All of them are between 30 to 40 feet tall with the largest one being near the house where I park. Over the last five years it has been dropping limbs increasing in size. The first time I was trapped in the garage she had it removed within an hour, the second time much later that day, third time late the next day, this time I saw that I would be lucky to get it removed by Friday. Now I'll admit I was more than angry but I did use a little logic with this tree, as it was it was heavy on the side toward the house so to keep it from falling on the house I cut it. I didn't discuss it with her because she would argue me into submission to keep the blame thing, so I saw my chance and got rid of it.

For those that aren't familiar with Willow trees as a wood it is very weak, they constantly drop limbs of various sizes, they shed leaves the year around with biggest drop in the spring right before those fuzzy things some on, and then those fuzzy things drop off and create a heck of a mess, and if that isn't bad enough they're known as weeping willows for a reason, they constantly drip sap during the warmer months. You can't park under them, you can't sit under them, their shade is very thin, they're hard to mow under and their roots are invasive. Oh willow trees and a pool definitly do not get along.

Should I have discussed this with her? Probably but I'd still be dealing with that blame tree as she's loath to cut trees. I don't like cutting trees either but I don't want to put with a nusience either.

Could I have parked some where else? Yes but I didn't work myself half to death to pay for this house with two, two car garages and park away from the house. When we built the last addition we added the upstair garge to be for her use and the lower garage would be for me. For a few years I was able to park both my car and truck inside (the basement garage) and she parked her car upstairs and the kids bicycles were on the other side. Well due to "collecting" she filled up the other side of her garage with junk and the kids stuff was moved downstairs in my garage. Present day I can barely get my car in my garage and the kids stuff has been moved to one of the out buildings (yes more of her "collection".)

So what have I learned from this mess: In the future I'll give her 48 hours to remove any large limbs, if after that I'll call her and tell her she has 1 hour or I'm breaking out the chain saw (yes that does sound dictitorial but it's not meant that way.) On Wednesday I'm going to tell her that her "collection" is going to find another residence either by her hand or mine. I'm sure this will start another "discussion" but I'm going to give her two months before I act.

Well I'm going to put my asbestos undies in the wash and prepare for Wednesday.

[Saydrah]

Far be it from me to butt into anyone else's relationships (which is always said before butting into someone else's relationship, but since you're posting on a public BB) but that sounds more like a parent than a spouse.

Could you discuss compromising and removing the willows closest to things like the house and pool that could be impacted negatively, while leaving a few since she enjoys them aesthetically? It just sounds quite dictatorial, as you recognized yourself, to demand that they all be gone in 2 months, when she seems to find them pleasant and a good advertisement for her landscaping skills (while a bunch of stumps/holes in the ground would sure NOT be).

[myswtghst]

I'm with Saydrah on this - maybe working out a compromise where the trees most likely to cause a problem that is more than aesthetic (i.e. blocking your car in the garage) could be removed, while the others can stay.

And I totally feel for your hate of willows. My parents' neighbors have several absolutely huge weeping willow trees in their backyard (which is basically kitty-corner to our backyard) that drop all kinds of shite in our yard all the time, especially badly when we have any kind of wind/thunderstorm. I'm looking forward to hearing my dad whine all about it this spring, especially since the neighbor never follows through on his offers to clean up all the branches and such that end up in our yard. :p

[Seshat]

If she's a landscape architect, she doubtless knows people in the industry who actually want big mature trees. She can probably sell the trees, for enough to easily afford filling in the holes and replacing with some sort of plant or structure that you both find attractive.

If I were you, I'd be placing that card on the table.

And I'd also be giving her criteria: you want a garden in which you can do X, Y and Z, the kids can play, ride bikes, rollerblade, whatever your kids do. You don't want invasive roots, you do want pleasant shade with no more than X% mottling and no drippy sap, pointy nuts, pokey needles or fermenting fruit. . . I think you get the idea.

Architecture, landscape or otherwise, is about filling the client's criteria in an aesthetically pleasing and functional manner. Time for her to treat her own family as a client. ;)

As for her clutter: maybe it's time for you to design a storage structure in your garage that keeps your kids' stuff organised and gives you enough space for your cars - and perhaps offer to help her design storage for her garage. Though if she's an architect, maybe she should have that skill. :angel: