Memo to self

[Alfie]

As they say, "time heals all wounds". Unfortunately for me, it generally happens overnight, so I am very bad at remembering why I'm mad at the people I'm fighting with. Either that or I will forgive too easily.

That is the main reason that I'm composing this thread, to be a reminder for me when I wake up tomorrow, and for the days that lie ahead so that I don't forget why I need to get out of this house. Why I need to distance myself from my mother and move on with my own life.

So today was a complete mess of emotions. I am currently on holidays from uni, however I am still working around 4-5 days a week. Which I understand isn't much for most people here, however for my mother if she works even 3 shifts a week, she is "exhausted" all week and tends to whine about it. And so today I have my first day off after working four days in a row. My parents attempt to convince me to go to the city with them, which I did not want to do. The reasons for that don't matter, other than one of the reasons was so that I did not need to be near my mother. As they leave, mum asks me to a) wash 2 loads of washing and hang them to dry, b) vacuum the house, and c) feed the dogs. Dad phones a short time after they left and asked that I book a time for my car windscreen to be replaced. I found that watching TV was my first priority, and then came a), c) and organising the windscreen replacement.

When mum came home, she was so "exhausted" she slept in her room for a couple of hours, dad was sleeping too, so he wasn't witness to what was about to happen. I was watching TV when she came out of their room, and she began to watch some of it with me (about 2 mins), I felt too uncomfortable being near her, so I went to my room to gather my things to get ready to go to my friend's house. As I was in my room, my mother began yelling at me because I didn't vacuum the house. I then walked from my room to the dining room to get my keys. Mum was sitting down, and began screaming at me. I mean really screaming at me. I don't know if I've ever heard her scream at me like she did today.

She screamed at me because (in no specific order):
-I didn't vacuum the house like I "promised" I would. Apparently this would show that I'm not treating the house like a hotel, and that I am willing to put effort into keeping the house running. I am supposed to do the same amount of work as all of my family members in this house... Not surprisingly when I brought up that "Fine, I'll do the same amount of work that my brother does!" (nothing), that she told me "Don't bring him into this!".
-I didn't do the washing for her. Which I did. I was so furious at that point that I grabbed her clothes off the line which I had just washed (I made sure I didn't take dad's off) and rubbed them in some soil in the backyard and put them in the laundry. Yup, I sure am a mature 21 year old.
-I apparently could have had coffee ready for when dad and her came home, because apparently I was told the specific time they would be home. So for one I'm getting screamed at now because I didn't get coffee ready, and now mum is lying to me too. So she is ultimately getting more angry at me because she is lying. I was never told what time they would be home. I told her that she didn't tell me the time, and she told me that I knew. I definately knew. I told her (now with a raised voice) not to lie, and that I was never told. According to her, dad would have told me what time they were coming home. Nope. I was "definately" told what time by dad. Nope. But she's still angry at me anyway.
-Going to Uni and working isn't enough. I use it as an excuse. I should do heaps of work around the house even though I have other commitments. I don't do enough. She should have come home to a clean house. Is it necessary to tell you that she doesn't work? So me having commitments away from home is bad and I still have to do heaps of work, but her not having any commitments and not working is good.
-Me going to go see my friend tonight was a way of escaping the house. Yes, it is a good way of escaping this hell hole you call a home. But even visiting my friend isn't ok by you, you think that I should stay home and do housework. Further than that, you think that my friend should be coming to the hell hole to visit, I should not be going to see her. Regardless of the fact that she has a 2 year old and works full time. I should be making my friend run around to see me, just because my mum said so.

I think that there is more, but I think that my point is coming across. She was telling me all these things while screaming at me. She knows that she is in a bad mood when she's tired, and she was admitting to it today. She was screaming at me telling me that she's upset because she's tired, but yet somehow that makes up for the fact that she's being an absolute bitch. It got to a point where I just screamed at her back. The moment I started, she stopped yelling and seemed calm. It's like she wanted to draw me into the fight, and that as soon as she got what she wanted then she was happy. I feel so stupid for not just walking away, but that's another thing that I was getting yelled at.

This happens all too often. She is such a drama queen and she will never realise it. Everything is a massive deal to her, she wants a maid 24/7 so that she can think that she doesn't stress about the "massive amount of work" that needs to be done. We live in Australia, most people (I would say 99% of people don't have maids here). But it seems that we need one so that mum doesn't stress. She has "compromised" with the family that she doesn't want to move back to her home country anymore, because no one wants to move there. She has compromised in that she will now be happy to move to England. No one has ever, EVER said in this family that we want to move overseas. We are happily living in Australia, so somehow she's gotten into her head that she has compromised. You can't compromise with people who aren't even interested in even leaving the country.

I know that the last time a fight like this happened (however it has never been this bad) was about two weeks ago, when it ended up with her telling me (because I criticised her) that "if I knew I was going to get this much shit from you, I wouldn't have wanted to be a mother". After that she slept for a few hours, came out to the TV room and said to me in a sweet tone "Is our fight over yet?"

I need to leave here. I need to get out of this house. I don't need this drama in my life. I don't want to get drawn into it anymore. It's just sad that I thought I could wait until my dad goes overseas to work again in six months, but it seems that I can't wait that long. For once I'm getting a chance to hang out with my dad, but that's being taken away from me by my drama queen mother.

And so tomorrow, after "sleeping on it" for dad, I am going to look for somewhere to live. I need to do it for my own mental health. It's just sad that it has come to this.

[patiokitty]

Alfie > I hear you loud and clear. Yes, getting your own place would be the best bet in this situation. If you weren't in Australia I'd be wondering if we don't share a mother. I moved out when I was able to and I haven't looked back.

[Saydrah]

Trust me, you'll get MORE quality time with your dad when you're out of your parents' house. I didn't get along with EITHER of mine when I moved out, and I thought I'd never forgive them for the fight that caused me to move out. I was so not ready for my own place, I didn't have a driver's license, a car, I'd just started working a "real job" rather than working under the table as I'd done since 12 at the barn, I didn't know anything about maintaining a household or budgeting for groceries or any of that, and they basically forced me to move out during one of the hardest times of my life, rather than being there for me as I fought depression and drinking (when I was barely 18) in excess to dull the depression after losing someone I cared about very much.

But the long and the short of it is, yeah, I'm still pissed off about that, and no they've never apologized, and no they're not forgiven, but we get along great now. My mother, who I hated when I left, is now one of my best friends. Almost as soon as I was living on my own she started missing me and wanted me to come over for dinner on weekends because she was worried I wouldn't eat enough by myself. She would make little packages for me to take home any time I came over, with stuff like toilet paper and shampoo and food that she was worried I was too broke to buy for myself.

My dad took longer to really start to get along with me, and we still fight when I come to visit (the Sunday dinners together are still a tradition) but he and I can actually have a conversation now, which we really could NOT do when I lived there. He would start mocking me within a couple sentences, and I'd start fighting back with insults of my own. All our conversations just turned into yelling and personal attacks on each other's appearance- how silly! Now I actually call him for help if I have a crisis I don't know how to handle, like when I was rear ended by a hit and run driver, and he offers the exact help I need, whether it's just some advice on how to handle the insurance company or an offer to come rescue me if I'm stranded with a broken down car.

[Alfie]

Thanks for the support, it means a lot to me knowing that I'm not the only one in this situation. It also helps knowing that I'm not overexagerating the situation in my head, and that it is bad here at the moment. I worry that I'm oversensitive, but it's good to see other people's replies and know I am thinking about doing the right thing.

So an update on today, I spoke to dad about the situation today, and he wont advise me to move out or to stay home. He is staying neutral about it, which doesn't really help me because I want someone to tell me what the right solution is. He said that he will support me either way. Him and mum are going away tomorrow morning to Sydney for the night, and coming back late Thursday night, so he said he will have time to have a "chat" to her about her current behaviour.

My brother got into trouble today with her. First, he is getting his tattoo removed, and so he had to go to the northside for that (about 45-60 mins away). Even though mum had not been doing anything yet, and she had just gotten out of bed, she was already going on about how tired she was, and how she is too busy to take him there. Mum did nothing for the rest of the day. When we came back, she was in bed sleeping. She was so exhausted from doing nothing all day that she had to sleep at 1pm. Then my brother had to go to college to rehearse for his course, and he was nearly yelled at because he wasn't staying home to help dad with the yard work. He usually has Tuesday as his day off, but because the assignment/show thingy is due next week, he needed to go and work on it. But this wasn't good enough for mum.

I went to see a unit today, it was $200 p/w for a 2 bedroom house, which is REALLY cheap here. It was very odd going to the viewing, but it gave me an idea of what I could get. The place didn't really do it for me (at all), but I am going to look at another unit in the same suburb tomorrow after work. I am so excited but scared about the idea of moving out. I'll just take it slowly and see how it goes.

Sorry about my ultra long update about my day, but it feels so much better when I can get it out of my head and down on the screen.

[draftermatt]

I really think your mother has a health problem. Sleeping that much and always being tired, and cranky sounds like a health problem.

I'd suggest to your father that he get her looked at by a doctor.

As far as needing your dad to tell you what the right decision is (this is going to sound harsh) if you aren't mature enough to make that big a decision on your own then you might not be mature enough to make it own your own.

That decision is yours and yours alone to make, and it is a big one.

My opinion? Get out and get out now, but try and get your mother some help.

[Saydrah]

I second what draftermatt is saying. Could she be ill and not be telling you, or not know yet?

She definitely needs to see a doctor, and if there is nothing physically wrong, she needs to see a psychiatrist. It sounds like either a physical condition or depression.

[Alfie]

Don't worry, I'm not offended at saying that I may not be mature enough to make the decision. I know that it may sound like that, but I'm just scared that once I move out I may regret it. I guess I have never realised that I am so adverse to change until now. I will just talk to some of my friends who have moved out and suss out how they went. I haven't ever heard of someone saying that when they moved out that they really regreted it. I'll also see how the other viewing goes.

Also, unfortunately mum is a nurse, so she's pretty clued up about depression, mental illnesses etc. She saw a doctor recently and they decided that she was going through menopause (I say they decided because she didn't get any tests done, which I think is odd), and she is on hormone replacement. I think one issue she has is that she lacks communication skills (obviously), and so instead of talking things through, she will just yell and scream until she gets what she wants, or use it as a tactic to get what she wants done. The only thing is that I'm not willing to stick around and wait for her to figure that out, because I think it will take too long, and I honestly don't want to end up hating my mother because of it.

Again, thanks for the advice, and I'll keep you all updated.

[Primer]

Also, unfortunately mum is a nurse, so she's pretty clued up about depression, mental illnesses etc.
Unfortunately, those with the most knowledge tend to be the last ones to get much needed help. I speak from first person experience.

[Alfie]

I may talk to dad about getting her to see a psychiatrist/psychologist or even a councillor. She has spoken about wanting to go many times, but has never made the concious effort too make an appointment. Her mother (my grandma) suffers from depression, so I guess it isn't a completely impossible situation.

With the unit I went to see today, inside was ok, but I could hear the next door neighbour playing with his kid from up the road and from inside the unit. He has loud booming voice which can't be avoided. I also spotted a home made outside bar, so I have a feeling he enjoys drinking the backyard. I'm not against it, but what I am against is having to listen to him all day and all night when I would like to sleep. I am just going to have a look at one more place, and then take everything slowly and check for rentals every so often. The longer I can last here, the more I can save.

[symposes]

When I moved out, the most overwhelming part of it, was actualling moving the furniture I had.

When I first moved out, it was almost 6 months before I even contacted my parents, we never had any trouble, i just had no reason to.
But my dad said i should do my laundry at his house, because then i dont have to pay the laundry mat prices... so now every 2 weeks, i go over.

Heh, he always needs to go to the store when Im there, so he buys all this stuff for me... I still have yet to get a chance to use my gift card from walmart. Even when i grab some candy and set it aside while i empty the cart, hell just grab it and mix it in with everything else. *My dad told me once, that he would buy my school books, but not my reading books(the ones i read for fun), yet now he buys me candy...O_o* hehe

[draftermatt]

I moved out for no real reason other than I wanted to move out.

It wasn't that hard of a decision, my girlfriend was coming with me (we are now married) and we bought a house.

I almost moved out a year earlier because my mother kept getting on me about "my house, my rules" so I told her I'd just find my own place.

I'm thankful I waited, but it wasn't long after that I started looking for houses.

[Alfie]

Well, just as an update for those who are interested:

I was lucky enough to go see a unit on Saturday (they only advertised it on the internet on the Friday, and I happened to have a quick peek at the website). I decided beforehand to talk to mum and dad about the unit, discuss any issues or concerns they had before I saw the unit because I wanted to be free to apply for it that day. They had some photos of the unit on the internet, and it looked perfect. It is $25 a week CHEAPER than the other places I looked at. But I figured that it had to be too good to be true.

So we arrived (my partner came with me) to the unit, and there were two lots of people already waiting. There came another 4 sets of people inspecting it too. Most people either applied right then and there, or (because the real estate agent ran out of forms) others will apply on Monday. I applied right then and there, I tried to chat to the real estate agent too, just to put myself in a positive light. I don't know how helpful that is, but I was hoping it would put me a couple of steps ahead in the queue of potentials.

And so... I am freaking out. I am stressed almost to the max. The place is perfect for me. I find out on Tuesday if I get it, but until then I will be thinking about it almost 24/7. I even want to call up the real estate agent on Monday and tell him how I'd be perfect for it. But I don't know if that would be pushing it.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Good luck! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you :)

[Fashion Lad!]

While I agree that your mother could be having issues, I look at the list of chores you were given and realize that it wasn't that much. And, she's a nurse, not exactly an easy career.

I don't know what her schedule is like, but one of my close friends is an RN and if he works 3 shifts, he's working between 36-45 hours, easy.

Devil's Advocate, here. I'll never blindly go, "yup, you're right... she's wacked out."

Like I said, the list of chores isn't near what I lived with when I was going to school full-time and working full-time and living at home. Now, I'm going to school full-time and working damn near full-time. When you move out and have a place of your own, you start to realize just how much mom does around the house. Unless you don't mind living in an utter mess. I spend between 30-45 mins each day cleaning and doing various chores. I'm taking 15 credits this quarter. Yes, quarter. I get done in 3 months what you do in a semester, usually about 5 months.

You have to realize that you won't always have time to veg out.

[powerboy]

When I had moved out. It lasted only 3 weeks. I moved back in because I broke up with the ExGF. And since it was her name on the lease, I just moved out. And since I have bad credit, that is not helping. But I do have everything taken care. Just have one debt, and that is my cell phone. When I have truly good credit, I am going to be looking at houses. Already am, but be more serious about it.

[Alfie]

While I agree that your mother could be having issues, I look at the list of chores you were given and realize that it wasn't that much. And, she's a nurse, not exactly an easy career.

I would agree with you there if she was currently working. At the moment she has not been employed for at least four weeks. And it isn't a matter of the chores to start off with, the problem is the fact that she screamed at me about it. Apparently she has a more busy life than I do when she is unemployed (by choice) than what I do when I work 3-4 days a week and attend Uni 3 days a week. I'm sorry, but you missed the mark.

[Fashion Lad!]

I'm sorry, but you missed the mark.

It's still not too much to ask to feed the dog, vacuum the house and do a few loads of laundry. Also calling to get the windscreen replaced takes all of about 5 minutes usually. Feeding the dog, 2 minutes. Unless you have a particularily large house, (my parents house, 2500 sq ft. 2 levels) half hour tops. And laundry is like the easiest chore in the world.

I'm sorry, I can't agree that she's asking too much out of you. It takes a lot to run a house, and I've done more when I've worked in the morning and had class at night. I'm sorry, I think you're just whining.

[Alfie]

Again, you are missing the mark. This is getting me a bit upset, so I'm sorry if I'm overtly emotional in this post.

The point is NOT that she is asking me to do these things. The point is being SCREAMED at when she comes home, SCREAMED at because I didn't do the laundry (which I did), SCREAMED at because I hadn't done things which wasn't requested of me. She just decided that she felt like screaming at me, and so she found in her messed up head ways of screaming at me. I don't care if she asks me to do all of the house work, I will happily do it. I will NOT however tollerate people SCREAMING at me. You may be used to it, but I do not find it a desirable communcation tool. It seems that everyone else understands my point of view, in that being screamed at makes you want to leave the house you are in.

The point was not at all that she was asking too much of me. The point was her communcation mode and thinking that it is ok for her to scream at me when she feels like it. She seems to think that it is ok for her to scream at any family member, and this is her tool of getting her way. Again- I was not complaining of her asking too much, I was complaining about being borderline abused because she felt like abusing me.

I'm sorry that you think that I am "whining" but maybe possibly if you don't agree with my post, just don't reply. Obviously you have no clue, and it would be more respectful just to leave a post alone rather than belittle the situation.

[myswtghst]

I can definitely feel for you Alfie. I wish you luck in moving out, and getting the unit you applied for.

I love my mother to death, but our relationship is a million times better now that I've moved out and have my own place. My mother can be similar to yours, in that she doesn't seem to understand that I worked all week, and on my days off, sometimes I just want to be uber-lazy and not leave my couch. :p

My father and I have been trying to help my mom get a job, which she's seemed interested in, as I think part of her problem is just that she's bored and a bit lonely, with no one around most of the time besides her dog, who can be good company, but sometimes is a major pain in the rear. It's just hard because she constantly guilt-trips me on my days off if I'm not super-excited to go do stuff with her, and makes me feel bad when I agree to go and am not thrilled to spend hours doing what she wanted to do.

So yes, go forward with moving out - it will likely strengthen your relationship with both parents, and you'll have your own space to be responsible for, not shared space and shared responsibilities. It also helps you appreciate the time spent together more, as you're not constantly around them. Good luck.

[Fashion Lad!]

Your mom sounds a lot like my mom.

You know how I learned to not get screamed at? When she asked me to do stuff, I did it all. Because whenever I missed one detail from the list, I might as well have not done anything at all.

Do it all, then they have nothing to bitch about. Don't do it all, and they can come up with a list of things to bitch about. When I started making it a priority to get everything done on her little lists.. I never got yelled at. I became the perfect son. And when you go above and beyond, nearly every day... they tend to overlook everything else.

[Saydrah]

FashionLad, I think you're missing the most important point, which is that the he-said she-said doesn't matter one iota here. Whether Alfie's mum is being unreasonable or not, it's a bad situation and she needs out. They could be arguing about the merits of pigs' feet as paperweights and it would still be a toxic environment for Alfie. They are screaming and insulting each other, and it's clear that it's more than time for her to go.

Alfie, good luck getting the apartment! I'm rental-hunting myself and I know it's a pain, but if you don't get it, remember there's always another one.

[Seshat]

Because whenever I missed one detail from the list, I might as well have not done anything at all.

Y'know something, Fashion Lad? That sounds abusive to me.


Do it all, then they have nothing to bitch about. Don't do it all, and they can come up with a list of things to bitch about.

Definitely sounds like bullying and/or controlling behaviour to me.

The OP is correct: screaming and bitching are not mature ways to get what you want done. Complaining about being screamed at is perfectly valid, regardless of whether or not you've done 'your share of the chores'.

IMO, the correct way for any family to divide the household chores is to have a chore list - written on a board on the wall or simply written in everyone's head - and for each person to take on the chores they enjoy doing. Once everyone's 'enjoyed' list is complete, divide the remaining chores according to 'least disliked' and each person doing a roughly equal amount of effort towards the family as a whole.

Thus, someone doing paying work and bringing home income which is used for the whole family's benefit can do fewer household chores. Mowing the lawn is a chore. Paying the bills is a chore. Anything done towards the benefit of the family and maintenance of the home is part of the list.

However, each person should be able to do their chores at any point in the periodicity of the chore they wish. If their chore is to empty and restack the dishwasher once a day, then noone gets to gripe if they choose to do it in the morning rather than the evening.

As you can imagine, I wouldn't want to live with the OP's mum either. Being assigned chores (not asked, assigned) and being yelled at for not having coffee ready the moment she got home would piss me off. I'm not a maid! If you want to treat me like that, pay me a good wage.

[iradney]

FL, you're missing the point by a mile here. The OP was being yelled at for not doing things she wasn't even asked to do. She was yelled at for doing something that she HAD, in fact, done.

If my Mom had asked me to do something, and I hadn't done it, I can bet you my entire pay check right now, she will not scream at me. Because she's a grownup, and acts accordingly.

Being screamed at, and basically watching a parent having a 2 year old's tantrum, simply for not being psychic is not reasonable. I have to say, I don't like the way you appear to be laying the blame on the OP. (It's hard to read between the lines when it's just text!)

[Alfie]

Thanks for everyone's support here. I really appreciate being backed up, and knowing that I am not the only one who decides that when I am yelled at there is definately no way I will do what you ask me to do. If you ask nicely, I will be more than likely to cooperate.

FashionLad, I'm sorry that you have decided that meeting your parents needs are more important than being respected. I will not be treated poorly because my mum feels like screaming. I will not accept that as toleratable behaviour.

I rang up the real estate agent today, and offered to pay 4 weeks rent in advance, because I REALLY want the place I applied for. I don't know if that will sway the decision, but I figure because I am only 21 and everyone else who was applying was much older (and possibly have moved out of home already :p) that I should try to enhance my position. He said that I was already in the short list, but hopefully this sways the landlord. I should find out tomorrow, and everyone in the world will know, because I will be the one crazy lady walking around with the world's biggest and stupidest grin on my face. I will possibly be doing what is called the "Elmo dance" (my accidental celebratory dance which I never intend on doing, but it takes over me when I'm really excited... I sound like I should be on So You Think You Can Dance?)

But anywho, thanks again everyone, and I will keep you all updated!

[Fashion Lad!]

FashionLad, I'm sorry that you have decided that meeting your parents needs are more important than being respected. I will not be treated poorly because my mum feels like screaming. I will not accept that as toleratable behaviour.



I grew up in a military house. You get your stuff done, you have nothing to worry about. Once I figured that out, I was the golden boy. Still am. I can do no wrong. And I'm better person for it. I always take care of what needs to be done. My parents did a fine job in raising me. I'm 4.0 Dean's List, I do my work at home, work and a school work and I do it well. I do it very well. I now live with two roomates. My room is spotless. White glove it, I dare you. TV has never been my priority, even on a day off.

Like I said, I work basically full-time. I average at least 30 hours a week, sometimes do more. Never less. I have 15 credits this QUARTER. I do this 4 times a year.

I now have this little thing called initiative. I go above and beyond what I need to do, because why not? And I get recognized for it. I had to learn to be helpful when my dad works nearly 80 hours a week as an over the road trucker.

Abusive? I call it strict.

My parents respect me very much. If they didn't, I doubt they'd be forking over $20k a year for me to go to college. I doubt they'd be asking for my opinion on anything and actually using it.

Abused? No.

Work doesn't scare me, but, I typically find time for myself. I find time to relax, typically. I've worked it out with my managers were I get days off when I don't have class. That way, I can sleep in late and still get stuff done.

It always annoys me greatly when someone says their first priority was to watch tv... and they didn't do everything on the list. Like vacuum, it's not hard unless you actually move furniture like I do.

Now, I have to get ready for work. 9:15-3:15 and class from 5:45-9:55. I'm done here.

[protege]

...and I thought my mother was bad. She did many of the things the OP described. She was tired constantly, yet wouldn't try to make other family members actually *do* something. Even so, she'd bitch about having to do housework. Anyone else see a problem here? But, part of that she did to herself--when she first went back to work, we offered to help her out. But, we soon quit doing it; we got tired of being screamed at if the laundry wasn't folded perfectly, if there was a speck of dust on the floor, etc.

Even before I moved out, I was the only one who tried to help her. I'd offer to bring groceries or dinner on the way home, or do other things so she didn't have to. What annoys the hell out of me, is I have two brothers who still live there. They don't do jack shit, except for work at their jobs. Most weekends, one is at work, the other is passed out on the couch. She still bitches about doing the housework. It doesn't do any good when I say "take a rest, and make those lazy bastards do something!"

At least I'm down the street a few blocks, and don't have to listen to it :rolleyes:

[Alfie]

Fashionlad, obviously none of us can compare ourselves to how great you are. So I wont bother.

I do not find watching TV a priority. I find not being yelled at a priority. Hence me trying to move out.

I am sorry I am not as perfect as you are.

[blas87]

A little late putting in my 2 cents, but let me tell you, I feel for you.

I am so happy I moved out. Things were getting flat out ridiculous with my parents. I worked full time at the gas station, and all I ever wanted with my rare free time was to go out and see my friends. Working 2nd shift most of the time, all I had were nights. My parents were adament "No young girls should ever be out at night!" and placed a strict midnight curfew for me, even at age 19. (when I was 16, my curfew was 8 or 9, unless I had to work!). In all fairness, yes, parents make the rules, but damn she was trying to treat me like a child.

I mean, it was as if my mother was trying to push me out the door. She'd scream at me to do stuff around the house. I already did my part. She'd scream at me to do my father and my brother's chores, while she never did anything herself other than sit at her laptop all evening. In fact, she STILL does that. She does not do a damn thing other than make dinner. She screams at my brother and father for being "useless", even though she has not cleaned or done anything since we moved in. My brother, father and I have done it all.

Now that I moved out, my mom misses me. She always begs me to spend the night if I come to visit. She begs me to come over more often. When I only stop by to see the pets and exercise after work, she asks me to stay longer.

I'll never move back in unless something awful happens. Hell, even when ex-roomate was ruining everything and putting me in debt, I had to suck it up and stay on my own. Anything is better than being under her roof again.