Funny Gaming Quotes

[RecoveringKinkoid]

FMA Fanatic's sig inspired this thread.

For those of you who play RPG's: Quote someone in your game that said something that made the game stop while you all managed to get control of your laughing. No need to explain the quote, just quote it. You may identify the game, if you like.

Mine will all be Boot Hill (American Western genre) unless stated otherwise.

"I know you didn't just walk into my house with a big sack of evil."

[DarthRetard]

This was while playing WoW, during an instance:

"Can someone get behind me and buff me as much as possible?"

[idrinkarum]

(A little background: I was playing in a Living Spycraft (1.0 version) RPG. I was playing the part of the hacker (which is the thief in d20 modern). All my character did during this mod was basically role to see if I could get the electricity turned off in a certain grid of the city & hack into computers - not much roleplay for here).

Okay, the rest of the people at the table were interrogating a suspect that we had just kidnapped. They couldn't even get the guy to give them his name.

I got so exasperated, I looked at the GM (who was playing the part of the suspect & who is my hubs, btw :love: ) and say:

"Look, the reason we need to know your name is so we can notify your next of kin if we accidentally kill you."

The entire table dissolved into fits of laughter (and yes, the suspect finally revealed his name).

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Poor Mr. Sunset, he hasn't even got any more eyebrows, poor man."

[Greenday]

I still laugh every time, in Fable, when you change your name or Arseface. Everywhere you go, people will be like, "Oh, hello Lord Arseface..."

[DarthRetard]

From the Simpsons Game:

Nelson: You know why the sky is blue? Cause it sucks!

[Broomjockey]

From one of the Might and Magic games:

Dialogue choice: I lost it.

Response: you never had it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"I was hit on the head, what the hell was YOUR excuse!?"

[Spiffy McMoron]

Not from a game, but from somebody playing a game:

Language, NSFW (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C1BSbq5aB0)

Basically, somebody got part of the code for Super Mario, and modded it to be damned near impossible. The link is a video of some guy playing this modded game, and the commentary that comes out of his mouth is hilarious. My personal favorite line (said in frustration after dying, again):

"This shit is worse than Panic at the Disco!"

Also, I really like some of the in-jokes that are in WoW. I can't remember all of the ones I've seen, but two that I can think of are from the zepplin masters:

One of the zepplin masters outside of Undercity is named Hind'nburg.

One other zepplin master (at Grom'Grol Base Camp, I think) extolls the virtues of zepplin travel, then reminds people that fire spells are forbidden on the zepplin.

[rvdammit]

Playing Adventure!, character has Harebrained Scheme (http://www.eononline.net/powers/adventure/harebrained-scheme.html). Everybody has tried, and failed, to to interrogate a prisoner.

"Just fry bacon at them. The smell of frying bacon is the least resistible thing in the world."

GM rolls prisoner's resistance and botches.

[technical.angel]

I cracked up... or probably just majorly confused CSR Kim last night with my quip

"These bears have no hearts!!"

Over the weekend, a bunch of lvl 12 and 13 players were trying to get more people to group up with them to take down two lvl 21 bosses.

That would have been fun to watch.

[Acolyte]

One of the zepplin masters outside of Undercity is named Hind'nburg.

I thought it was Hin Denburg? Either way. But, yeah, the comments by the Zepplin guys are always funny.
There's a lot of funny NPC names in WoW, just wander around the cities and look at them for a while.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"I reckon' ya'll need to find a Bible and start readin'."

(gosh, I'm remembering all sorts of stuff now.) Boot Hill, as always.

"Five dollars? :eek: Five dollars?? Why...that's as much as it costs to mail somethin' important!"

[Spiffy McMoron]

I thought it was Hin Denburg? Either way. But, yeah, the comments by the Zepplin guys are always funny.

Oops. You're right. My mistake.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

(Geez, I could only think of one or two this afternoon, but now that wer're on the subject, it's like memory lane has become a 4 lane freeway. I am thinking of all sorts of stuff that cracked us up. How could I forget this:

"No! Of course not! Okay, look. I admit it: I shot the sheriff. But I did NOT shoot the deputy!"

:roll:

[Broomjockey]

"Look, would you stop fondling the corpses already?"

[Gravekeeper]

What? No "You spooney bard!", yet? I'm disappointed in you all. -.-

[Chazzie]

To the post of "Panic! At the Disco"-

More amusing is the fact that the commentary was added to the video. The guy just found a video of someone playing it and voiced it over, making that product. Amazing, eh?

Let's see, a game quote...

"I'd better shut the projector off, first."
Nancy Drew. The cops were rushing to find her so she had to hide, so I click away, and THAT'S what I get.

[Caveat Emptor]

One of the programmers in Civ IV must have a Bette Midler obsession, because the leaders will sometimes say "Did you ever know that your my hero? You're everything I wanted to be." :lol:

[MystyGlyttyr]

There wasn't any actual quote, save for lots of horrified screaming in Simlish, but I think my favorite was while I was playing the Sims 2 for PS2 once, and accidently caused one of my Sims to, er...poop and puke herself to death. You had options to make meals for the Sims that caused different effects, and I was experimenting, and I don't remember the exact meal...it was squid and fruit of some kind, I think.

Well, the Sim ate it...and she proceeded to make some kind of horrified Simlish noises, peed about three times, barfed twice, and then dropped dead. I was left holding my controller and staring at the screen in horror at the fact that I had just witnessed a Sim that I wasn't even trying to kill VOID herself to death! :lol:

[lordlundar]

"Hello? No, for the last time, I'm a DREADlord not a druglord..."

As for MMO quotes:

http://boards.cityofheroes.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Board=Scrapper&Number=8053125&page=0&fpart=all

:devil:

[technical.angel]

Last night, CSR Kim and I got a group together to run a pretty rough quest. After defeating the high powered baddie without getting the attention of any of his guards, everyone ran up and out of the building.

I got turned around, thinking everyone was going to go in and clear out the guards. So I ran down, only to find several unhappy guards, and no other players.

"Um... can someone help me? I managed to aggro about 5 guards."
"Where are you?"
"I don't know!!"

[draftermatt]

Tommy Vercetti: "I just wanted to piss you off before I kill you"

My wife playing GTA: San Andreas: "Ahh, where are they all coming from?"

[Rapscallion]

I used to help moderate/admin a MUD. One of the builders came out with a quote of, "Nobody ever looks at my bushes."

Yeah, the channel got very quiet for a nanosecond.

Rapscallion

[Rappunzill]

"I was flying on the back of a rock with pretensions!"
"If you think his memory isn't served by getting drunk, you didn't know the man."

And my personal favorite:
"If the FBI calls, the chicken's name is Trogdor!"

[Geek King]

"Obviously all Jedi Masters are gay."

"The beam's a little short. Maybe you should stroke the hilt a bit."

"Don't you DARE die on me you little green bastard!"

"Look, I needed a scalpel, and its not like you needed that lightsabre anyway."

"I'm glad you decided to stick with the Dark Side. It wouldn't have been nearly as fun to bounce you off the walls if you'd recanted and came back to the Light Side."

--D6 Star Wars, playing KOTOR-era Jedi Padewans

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Look, would you stop fondling the corpses already?"

:roll: I think you win!

I ran two separate Boot Hill games for two separate groups over the course of several years.

Group 1:
"We don't need no stinking badges."

Group 2:
"We dont' need no stinking badgers."

Nobody in group 1 played in group 2 and visa versa. But I am guessing everyone's watching the same movies. ;)

[gunsage]

Mweeeheeheee...this'll be fun. :devil: Unfortunately, I can't think of too many off the top of my head right now, but here's one I don't often forget...

"OH NO. THE TRUCK HAVE STARTED TO MOVE."

- Solid Snake, Metal Gear 1 (MSX version) :p

[NotSoInnocent]

D20 Modern game... Background: The land of Fae has become enmeshed in the "normal" world, affecting EVERYBODY near the "nexus" points. One of the nexus points occurs directly above a HIGH SCHOOL! Mischief abounds. Pixies learn to mix wing dust with nitro glycerin in a science lab to form incredible explosions. (And learn the basics of car mechanics, thus enabling a "souped-up" car to become available.) Teenagers morph into various hybrid creatures, thus leading to a Russian exchange student becoming an anthromorphic feline.......

Leading to this quote:

*big cat hiss* "No more big puppy woof woof!"

We had to shut down the session at that point. No one could stay in their seats.

[Kat33auS]

Does this count?

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b353/Dark_Yami_Girl/LiveJournal/GarnetZidaneTheAllFamousLine.jpg

Zidane, the blond, had climbed up the ladder a little too fast and grabbed... er... something else. :lol:


Edit: Remembered another!

In Endless Online after a n00b ko'd and vanished, someone said, 'Poof'.
Well, it had everyone laughing...

[Broomjockey]

Playing mass effect, I wound up listening to one party member say to another:

"It's always a good idea to RTFM, doc."
"What's that?"

[GingerBiscuit]

Playing SLA.

"There's a CORPSE on my FLOOR!"

"Right, we all get ONE suspiciously dead body we need disappeared!"

"Are you hungry, Bob?" (Bob is our Stormer)
"Yes. But I don't think I could crunch that funny skeleton he's got."

"We could like, cut his flesh off and dump the skeleton in the sewers...."
"I think I have some tupperware in the fridge."

[gunsage]

"It's called an 'evoker,' but don't you think it's kinda weird that it looks like a gun? Ha ha..." - Iori (I think), Persona 3

This is relevant because in Persona 3 you point an "evoker" (yup, looks like a gun) at your head and PULL THE TRIGGER MAKING IT LOOK LIKE A SUICIDE in order to cast spells. Even weirder is when one of your characters does it for a healing spell. :confused:

[Gravekeeper]

"You'd be surprised what I can fit in here! My panties are an extra dimensional space!"

"They all love my panties down at the bar!"

"You have a gift for sniffing out panties!"

Phoenix Wright's daughter is a freak.

><

[Dreamstalker]

Ghostbusters RPG:

"What can go wrong?"
"Right now? Everything, if you're involved."

"That was the height of obliviousness right there."

"No, I don't think a dragon in the subway would go over too well. Even if it did eat the gangsta-wannabe spawn. Poor thing might get indigestion."

[Dreamstalker]

Same game, today:

"Cool, I didn't know you could do that with a thrower." (what "that" is was not determined...)

"SKOOSH!"

"What the hell was that?"
"Oh, just your average demonic flying eyeball."
"Do I want to know what would be considered non-average?"
"No."

[Igorina]

Playing Munchkin with the family:

'C'mon big brother, time to put on your girly pants!'

[gunsage]

Duke Nukem 3D borrowed a lot of great quotes. Here's the ones I can personally remember...

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm aaaallll outta gum."

"I'll rip your head off and **** down your neck." This statement in and of itself isn't all that great. No, the MOVIE OF HIM DOING IT when you beat the boss is hilarious IMO.

If you wait around long enough doing nothing: "What are you waiting for? Christmas?!"

And I concur on Apollo Justice with Trucy being a FREAK. Here's another quote that, while overused, was still amusing in that one...

"Oh really, Ms. Orly?"

:lol:

And finally, from Escape from Monkey Island...

Guybrush: "So wait, you're name's 'I. Cheese?'"
Mr. Cheese: "Aye."
Guybrush: "Cheese?"
Mr. Cheese: "Aye."
Guybrush: "Cheese?"

:D

[ArcticChicken]

"My race takes a wisdom penalty. Good idea!"

[Gravekeeper]

And I concur on Apollo Justice with Trucy being a FREAK.


Isn't she? I can't believe I had to use her panties in court too. That opened an entirely new batch of tragically wrong quotes. ><

[gunsage]

Aye. Also...

"My last struggle ended with my hands covered in blood!"
"I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose."

:lol:

[drunkenwildmage]

Ok..

AD&D Second Ed. Greyhawk (I think). Basically on a frozen lake Boat thingie.. most of the PC's topside on the boat, and a good majority of crew (mostly NPCs)including one named Lucky below decks.

"Someone go down, and get Lucky"


Battlelords. This happened at a Con, with the main author running the Game

"Put the Van Down, and slowly back away!"


Honestly Forgot the Game, but we have this rule of "you say it at the table, it happens in the game".. Mostly because we are a bunch of smart asses, and it can make the game interesting ;).
One of My Cats started to investigate one of the gamers book bags, and in the process crawled into the bag. None of the rest of us noticed this, but when the Bag owner did, he shouted out of the blue "dammit Cat, I'm going to Kill You!" in which, the GM promptly played it as, the Person's Character said it

[RetailWorkhorse]

Probably doesn't count but while playing Jak2 (or was it 3?):

Seeress: Does this look like a GAME?

Jak and Dax: (Looks at....US!)




I had to play it back for my dad, who didn't understand why I played the game until that moment.

[ArcticChicken]

One from tonight
"I'm going to run him up my flagpole....That is not a euphemism, I'm literally going to run him up my flagpole."

And we did, too.

[cinema guy]

Call of Cthulhu. We found a huge bung in a stone floor, as we started to lift it up it was clear there was something unearthly, dreadful and madness-inducing down there.

"Just lift it a little bit more so I can get my head in!"

[Sandman]

"Now what is this game rated?"

Altier Iris 3


The main male character asked that just a bit after they were talking about a possible lesbian love affair?

[B&NGoddess]

im sure this is oldish news to most of you, but i just found the wonder that is vent harassment. just type in ventrilo harassment in youtube and voila. my favorite is chris hansen shouting "i like rape!" and then dead silence in the channel.

[unholypet]

At 70, I was priest in the chambers of Drek'thar, keeping tanks and me alive:
"Okay okayy..... MMM....MMMMMMMMM..."
"UnholyPet.. wtf lol"
"I'm aaaahhhhhhhhhYEAH YESS!"
"OMG what the hell are you doing?!"
"I just cast a big heal! Rogues kept causing spell interruption... I was excited not to die."
"Let's all thank the ancestors she's wearing a robe."

[Slytovhand]

:roll: I think you win!

I ran two separate Boot Hill games for two separate groups over the course of several years.

Group 1:
"We don't need no stinking badges."

Group 2:
"We dont' need no stinking badgers."

Nobody in group 1 played in group 2 and visa versa. But I am guessing everyone's watching the same movies. ;)

Sancho and Pancho - I used to watch that all the time when I was a kid (I just don't remember it too well now :( )

[Slytovhand]

Ok - I haven't gamed in ages (other than PC...)

Boot Hill: "Screws - 2 cents a dozen?" (ok - we were young back then....)


Runequest:
"You find a grimoire"
"Are there any happy wahs?"

"Don't attack till you see the eyes of their wights".

Oh - in the Runequest Troll's Book, there is a picture of a troll with an umbrella and sunglasses (he was apparently a trader - and trolls are PC's). We realised he was wearing Trolle's (put 'em on your face!). Elves, naturally, would wear Oakleaf's.


Slyt

[Tireana Dorcha]

This was a while ago with my D&D group. My brother, the DM, was attempting to...well...kill us. He failed, resulting in this spectacular dialogue.

My Brother: "I (roll)...God(roll)...f***"

Me: "Wait, you god f***?"


Another incident involved, yet again, my brother, myself, and my fiance. Let me say, I am horrible at first-person shooters. I also, love Halo despite it. This incident bestowed upon me my Halo name of "Adistraction" and also my trademark squeel.

After killing me a few dozen times my brother and fiance had decided to attempt sniping each other. There they sit, scopes straining to make out the slightest movement from the other. There I sit, horribly bored of dying and waiting on them to kill each other when my eyes settle on the warthog. Oh yes.

Me: "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The boys: "What the??"

Me and my warthog fly (yes fly, I was airborn in the sucker) across their zoomed up screens. Firey doom was upon me. But hey, I got them to kill each other quicker :D

[Spiffy McMoron]

Oh, this reminded me of an event that took place in one of my old D&D sessions. There were five of us playing, and my buddy (Russ) was the DM. We're in a bar, and as a joke, my buddy's brother (Joe) tried to pick up a female elf. Rolled charisma...no luck. My buddies brother tried the orc chick at the end of the bar. Rolled charisma...rejected by the orc.

Dejected, Joe walks out of the bar and looks at the field next to the bar. Sees a sheep, rolls charisma...and scores!

"So, Joe, while everyone else is in the bar trying to get information, you're outside screwing a sheep."

:roll:

[Sandman]

im sure this is oldish news to most of you, but i just found the wonder that is vent harassment. just type in ventrilo harassment in youtube and voila. my favorite is chris hansen shouting "i like rape!" and then dead silence in the channel.

I just did that... I found some very and I do mean VERY funny ones. The Chris Hansen is one, the Ren and Stimpy is another one. The that takes the cake is the Duke Nukem one.

[Broomjockey]

"I wanna cast MAGIC MISSILE" (Yes, someone actually said that, quickly followed by)
"Shut up. You're not a mage."

[Toujin]

Something I just remembered from back when I was playing 'SimLife':

I'd decided to create a sub-species of giant sloth. Since it was red and yellow in color, I decided to call it the 'Ketchup & Mustard Sloth', but only had room enough for 'Ketchup & Mustard'.

Later, when checking the status messages, I caught sight of this gem:

"Ketchup & Mustard is getting eaten up."

---

Another funny quote I just remembered, this one from FF7. If you don't know anime, you may not get it, though.

I'd decided to name all the characters in this game after Ranma 1/2 characters, and named Tifa 'Akane'.

It resulted in this quote from Wedge: "Akane always lets me taste her cooking..."

[I8DaCookie]

"Spank them bottoms!"

It amuses me. :p

[lordlundar]

My Brother: "I (roll)...God(roll)...f***"

Me: "Wait, you god f***?"

Yes. Lloth is my bitch.:devil:

[JuniorMintz]

"With my dying breath... I STILL haven't rolled my d12!"

Good times. :D

[Ringtail Z28]

"Why would I want to play as a human? I already am one!"

[gunsage]

I won't quote the whole thing, but...

"I...AM...THE GREAT, MIGHTY POO..." - Great Mighty Poo Boss, Conker's Bad Fur Day

:lol:

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Sancho and Pancho - I used to watch that all the time when I was a kid (I just don't remember it too well now :( )

Actually, Treasure of the Sierra Madre. John Wayne, I think.