My oldest is in BIG trouble...

[NotSoInnocent]

So, Angel has a friend in the apartment complex. They ride the same bus and go to the same school.

Angel complains that I "never let (her) play with (her) friends".

That's right. I won't let her outside until she's done her chores and homework. I'm a horrible horrible mother.

Well, I "finally" let her go play (after she did her chores and homework) and she decided that she didn't want to live here anymore.

Oh yes. My eight year old daughter ran away from home... for about 5 minutes.

Alicia (5) and Anna (2) came right in and told me that Angel said she was going to live with her friend's family... and then pointed out where she lived.

Her friend's mom has 4 kids, too. She was wondering where the extra kid came from.

I dragged her back to the house and let all of her friends know that she wouldn't be coming back out to play for a long time.

Angel is now grounded for the next week.

No toys. No tv. No DVD's. No books. No fun.

Just go to school, come home, do homework, do chores, eat dinner, then go to bed. And if it's not a school day? She can sit on her bed until meal time.

I know it's "normal" (I "ran away" when I was her age (I had good reasons. The whole "if it wouldn't kill me, but was violent, cruel, and/or demeaning, it happened to me" thing) I went down to the creek... for 2 hours... and was brought back by an off-duty cop who happened to be fishing there.) but DANG IT! We've talked about being safe. We've talked about telling me where she's going to be...

:hairpull::hairpull:

I feel like the mean mommy and I HATE that. But what else am I supposed to do???:help:

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Exactly what you are doing.

Good for you for doing the hard, unpleasant thing that will make her a better person and keep her safe. Instead of the fun "cool parent" thing that will be useless to her and everyone else and turn her into the type of waste we read about here every day.

I know it's just a dumb little thing young kids do, but you told her not to run off and she did. It's not about "running away." It's about knowing there are consequences when she disobeys.

:respect: to you, Mom.

[Knightmare]

Hooray for parenting! You rock!

I hate being "mean" too, but that's what good parents do.

Keep it up, and we won't be hearing stories of her on the main board in the future.

[tropicsgoddess]

It may suck having to be the "mean parent", but you did it for a good reason. :respect:

[crazylegs]

Hey, look at it this way, 'parent' is a verb.

By doing nothing you would, by definition, not be a parent, let alone a good one.

[Rahmota]

Pretty much chiming in with total agreement here. Being a parent sometimes means being the "bad guy" to the kids. But eventually they'll grow up knowing it was all worth it and maybe even remember some of what you said and did and use it with their kids. At least thats the way it worked with me growing up.

[iradney]

How else can kids learn that for every action, there is a reaction? For every deed, there is a consequence?
You're teaching her about what it's going to be like in the real world. If you bunk work or "run away" from your responsibilities, sure enough, you'll end up sitting on your bed with nothing to do - coz you can't afford to!

[ShinyGreenApple]

My nephew (that my parents have permanent custody of) tried that stint sometime last year; he's 15. The scary thing is, he planned it out with a friend from the next town and did it in the middle of the night, by taking the screen from his bedroom window and jumping out :eek: He gave himself away by knocking on the back door and scaring Mom out of her wits. He didn't feel like digging his housekeys out of his bag. I honestly think he could have snuck back in and we would have never known if not for this moment of laziness/stupidity.

He got second thoughts by the time he'd gotten about an 1/8 of a mile down the road. I think Mom pulled him off the phone and video games for about two weeks, and he hasn't tried it since. I was terribly amused by what he'd packed, though.

A sharp, fully functional replica of the Sting sword from LotR.

A portable DVD player and about 15 of his favorite movies/TV shows.

A box of granola bars and two packs of pop tarts.

And seven dollars. :rolleyes:

[lordlundar]

Just remember, You are her mother, not her friend. Your job is to make sure she grows up to be a responsible adult. (or close enough anyway:lol:)

To many people I've seen that are messed up ha parents who tried to be their friends first or just weren't there. Don't fall into that trap. It's not easy, but the right thing never is, that's what makes it right.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My dad used to threaten to run away when we were being particularly bad. He'd get a suitcase and go stand out on the porch where we couldn't see him for a little while...

[Saydrah]

LOL at bookstoreescapee- that's turning the tables! Maybe you should run away for a day, NSI- that'll teach her!

Yay for being a good mom. She'll laugh about this when she's older. Or when she has kids of her own.

I ran away once (for actually pretty decent reasons) and got in deep doody as a result.

[Broomjockey]

My big running away was when I ran down the street to the parking lot of the mall to chase seagulls when I was 3, apparently. I was a fairly easy kid to raise, I guess. :angel:

[Seshat]

At least she ran away to a safe place.

My parents told me I was allowed to run away - as long as it was to one of a short list of places. (Basically, friends of theirs they had a mutual agreement with. I'm certain in retrospect that Mum would get a call to let her know where I was.)

It gave me a safety valve, let me let off stress, but I was safe.

On the other hand, I know what sort of trouble I'd have been in had I run away to anywhere else! Mum let me 'try it' once in the back yard, just to show me what surviving on my own resources would be like. Miserable!