This is not a flea market!

[MadMike]

If I hadn't seen this with my own eyes, I never would have believed it...

Had a guy come into the home improvements store and ask me to get him a manager, so he could ask about getting a discount on a door he was looking at. I asked him why, was it damaged?

He said no, he just "didn't feel like paying that much for it."

I think I felt my IQ drop several points just hearing this, and tried not to roll my eyes at him, at least not where he could see. Rather than try to explain to him how stupid the whole concept was, I went ahead and paged a manager for him, as he asked. I figured the managers got paid big bucks to put up with this crap, no way I was going to.

I didn't stick around to see what happened, but about 20 minutes later, I walked past the office, and heard one of the managers telling one of the other managers about the idiot he just had to deal with, who apparently thought he could just pay whatever price he felt like paying. I had a pretty good idea who he was talking about. ;)

And in case anyone is wondering, the customer wasn't a foreigner from some country where haggling is the norm. This guy was just as American as I am.

[Rapscallion]

*cough*
http://www.customerssuck.com/strip/index.php?date=2006-07-02
*cough*

Rapscallion

[receiversbabe]

OMG! OTFLMAO! We get that all the time. I'll be putting out new merchandise and pricing it and some GI's foreign wife will ask me if I'm marking it down. I feel like yelling at them "no you moron! It's brand new! We don't haggel here". Shish!:banghead:

[Kiwi]

I get it all the time at work, people asking for a seniors discount, disability discount, military discount, multiple buy discount, 3rd wednesday of the month discount or asking me to "make a deal with them"

this is a STORE in the MALL not some kind of batering market/auction. We dont haggle here.

the worst ones are the ones who ask for a "cash deal" and who "dont need a reciept".... yeah one little problem called inventory assholes!!

[Pinkie]

Where I work (local gas/electric company) we offer a senior discount for electric customers and are always getting calls asking for a gas discount. Now on all of our billing, we explain that we only charge our customers what we are charged for the gas with no profit added in. Ummmm....if we aren't making a profit on the sale of the gas, do you really think we're going to offer a senior discount? I don't think so.

:headdesk:

Is it time to go home yet?

[Dips]

Reasons our customers "deserve" free software or deep discounts:

1. The customer is poor.

2. The customer is a volunteer.

3. The customer is a school.

4. The customer is a government agency.

5. The customer is a charity or non-profit.

6. The customer is a small business owner.

7. The customer has a disability.

8. They paid full price for hardware/a new computer/a new OS/a new version of Office (of which our company never saw a dime, mind you) and now they NEED our software to make it all work, only they don't have any money left to pay for it.

Reasons we don't give anyone free software or a discount:

1. If we gave someone a free software or a discount because they "deserve" one, we'd have charge our other equally "deserving" customers more money to subsidize it.

2. Our company's landlord/office supplier/utility companies don't give US any discounts or free stuff. The only way we can pay our bills is by charging our customers for our services.

3. We cannot support or improve the product unless we pay people to do that work. Yes, I get paid for arguing with you about a discount. Do you think I would answer the phones at all if I weren't?

4. OK, fine. I can't say we've never given away free stuff. The last time was to a nun who is trying to run an orphanage in a developing country. The police are corrupt and keep confiscating her equipment and yet she keeps finding room to take more kids off the streets and get her place up and running again despite the daily fear and real threats. She really does deserve free stuff; as a matter of fact, she is the definition of deserving. The fact that you forgot to budget for software in your fundraising efforts doesn't make you deserving; it makes you a poor planner. I suggest you hold another fundraiser.

[Fera Festiva]

Ugh, we used to get this all the time at the crappy Mexican furniture place. I think because it was a small, independent shop away from the mall/high-street places, and because the merchandise was largely handmade, people assumed the prices were flexible.

It really made me cross to hear people ask for a discount on, say, a table and chairs with a combined cost of £1,200, when my weekly paycheck only just covered my rent. :rant:

[Think Blue]

We get that stuff all the time too. They try to haggle the set price on producing vitamins because.

1.They are a smaller company than us and we have more money
2.We can take the hit, due to the fact we have more than one office in different states, they only have one.
3.Vitamins can't cost much to produce.
4.The other guy produces it faster and at a much reduced price. (Idiot, we know what our comptetion has and there is no one that has the machinery and man power to produce product as fast as we can, and if they do such a good job take your business over there)
5.They are doing us a favor by using our company for production.
6.They can come clean our machinery to cut down on costs.
7.They have been a longtime customer and always pay. (Yeah its not like you just pay us for nothing, you get somthing back as well)

[bars.of.a.rhyme]

It really made me cross to hear people ask for a discount on, say, a table and chairs with a combined cost of £1,200, when my weekly paycheck only just covered my rent. :rant:

One, I love your screenname.

Two, yeah, I hate that too. It's extremely annoying when people come into my store and try to get a free movie for not good reason, when I know they probably make more in two hours than I make in a day.

Grr.

[HawaiianShirts]

We offer a store credit card for short-term financing on large purchases (like 12 months no interest, etc.). I mention to all my customers buying something expensive, just in case it will help them spread out the payments and kinda "ease the pain." I did that when I bought my laptop, and it helped, though I still had it paid off within four months.

I have had so many customers tell me they don't need the store card only to add: "I'm paying all cash. You should give me a discount."

That makes no sense to me. Though it makes no difference to me personally, the company makes far more money off those who use the store card than off those who pay cash. And, if you pay cash and don't keep your receipt but need purchase-record information later on, there's no way we can look it up, and the public-relations end of the corporate offices will also have a hard time.

I must say, though, it is nice to see that some people are saving their money to make a big purchase instead of going into ridiculous amounts of debt because they want it all now.

[Crosshair]

I have people who do this to me with paint. Almost always it is on a busy day where we have messed up a few cans over the course of the day.

SC: I see you have some cans with "BAD" writen on the lid. Are they cans where the color didn't come out.
Me: Yea, we messed up a few today.
SC: Can I buy them for a discount.
Me: No
SC: Why not? (:wtf: did I just say to you.)
Me: Because they are not for sale, they are a defective product.
SC: Well I can buy them from you and put them to use.
Me: You will have to buy them at regular price.
SC: Why?
Me: Because we don't give discounts on defective paint.
SC: Why not, what are you going to do with it? Menards gives discounts on their bad paint.
Me: This is a Wal-Mart mam, Menards is farther west. (OOO, they hate it when I do this.)
SC: I know that. What do you do with the bad paint?
Me: We send it back and it is recycled.
SC: Well I'll have to go to Menards and see if they have any bad paint. (Leaves in a huff)

Of course it is great when the next customer remarks, "What a b*tch." Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.:D

[evilhomer]

It really made me cross to hear people ask for a discount on, say, a table and chairs with a combined cost of £1,200, when my weekly paycheck only just covered my rent. :rant:
That always drove me nuts when I was working in stereo repair. They bitch and whine their way down to save $10 or $20, then go back out to their brand new Beemer, or have it delivered to their $1M+++ home. This while I'm accepting a pay cut to help keep the company in business.


The worst case I ever had though was an out of towner who needed a service call. For a full day with a technician, and over 400 km of driving, I started at a price of $300. Over the next fifteen minutes of his whining of how broke he is, he can't afford more than $100, it was whittled down to $250.

The tech later told me about the mansion that this guy lived in. It had 6 bedrooms, was on a golf course, was it's own private lot, had a four car garage, with a new car in each stall; his stereo system that the tech was hooking up was conservatively estimated at around $250K. The coup de grace though was an exercise pool that was installed. It was specially designed to give a negative current to swim against; he was bragging about spending $100K to have it installed.

This from a guy who can't afford to spend more than $100. :hairpull:

[Luna]

The one that always drove me mad was:

"this cd case/book jacket/paperback is cracked/dented and I want it for a gift. Can I get a discount?"

Now why, would you want to give something damaged AS A GIFT?

Luna: "sorry, we just send those back to the distributors and they send us new ones. BTW, the cd cases and dust jeckets on books are there to protect what's inside. That's what they're there for."

SC: "So you can't give me a discount? But it's a gift!"

I actually did a couple of times - gather up the nerve to say right back:
"Why on earth would you want to give merchandise you say is terribly damaged as a gift anyway? Getting a discount on it doesn't fix the damage, you'll still giving someone a gift of damaged merchandise??"

One person I remember yelled at me and demanded to speak to the SM. A couple of people just did the fish mouthed open-cloese-blink stare and then walked away realizing how stupid they sound.

[Imogene]

I used to love the people who came up to me, holding a DVD to their ear.
"Um, you know, the popular mythos says sea shells, not DVDs, are where you can hear the ocean...?:confused: "
"It sounds like there's something loose in there... is it scratched, do you think?"
"Hmmm... hold on, let me get my Johnny Carson hat..." *holds case to forehead* "Abe Vigoda, Dolly Parton, and no, all that's wrong is the 'nipple' broke. there's nothing in the case that can damage a DVD, and, if it doesn't play, you can always get an exchange at any of our stores nationwide."
"But, surely, there must now be a jagged edge the disc can get gouged on?"
"Hmmm, sure, it the disc were about four centimeters lower in the case. In other words, if you smash the case a bit right in the center. However, as it is, it's been sitting out vertically, the disc should be fine. Again, see our return policy for more ease of mind about your purchase."

Or the ones who would bring up a damaged case, and ask for a discount.
"Well, see here, how it's only the corner which is, in fact, broken? The disc sits patiently in the exact center of the case, should an event such as this occur. The disc should be fine, and I'm not authorised to make deals on costs of inventory."

[Cyanocobalamin]

Can I get a discount on this opened package? [that may or may not have been opened by SC]

No, but I'll take it off the shelf, and as soon as you walk away, I'll put it back.

[Phone Jockey]

*cough*
http://www.customerssuck.com/strip/index.php?date=2006-07-02
*cough*

Rapscallion

Oh my freak! That's me on the phone! Looks a damn lot like me. Wow Raps. Didja do that from memory after that hot night we had in the Balkans all those years ago? :lol:

Oh I just read it's Iamcable. Ah well, maybe next time. ROFL

[Rapscallion]

I try to run a backlog of strips - got two or three more, so going to order more from Jennie in the near future.

There are actually two sets of strips with all your customers on there, PJ.

http://www.customerssuck.com/strip/index.php?date=2006-06-25
http://www.customerssuck.com/strip/index.php?date=2006-06-18

Rapscallion

[April]

YAY! I made it to a comic!!

[/end off topic squeals of glee]

[protege]

This from a guy who can't afford to spend more than $100. :hairpull:

People like that used to piss me off when I had the paper route. This one guy in particular was a bastard about being charged "extra" for the paper. (I should mention that he also got into trouble for roughing up his son's little league coach, but that's another story.) Anyway, I simply forgot that there wasn't a paper one day because of a holiday. So, I told him that he owed me $2.50. That's when he lost it. He went off about how I was screwing him out of a quarter. A fucking quarter! :confused: Apparently, he needed the extra cash for the Mercedes he'd just bought.

I'm not even going to mention that the 1970s Radio-Flyer wagon I was using to deliver the papers was literally held together with duct tape and bailing wire :rolleyes:

[HawaiianShirts]

I had a good one just the other day. This guy had some bizarre accent, but I couldn't quite place him. Anyway, he wanted to buy one of our sale laptops. It's usually $1200 but was on sale for $1000. That means profit margin = -$100. He decided he liked it, flagged me down, and we started talking.

Accent Guy: I want to buy this laptop.
Me: Okay, I can get that out for you.
AG: I give you five-hundred.
Me: (blink blink) Excuse me?
AG: I give you five-hundred for this.
Me: Uhh... Sorry, sir, that computer is $1000.
AG: Yes. I give you five-hundred.
(This is where it suddenly dawns on me that he's trying to haggle. It'd been a long day.)
Me: Sorry, sir, but I can't lower the price any. We're already losing money on it. The computer is $1000.
AG: (furrowed brow) I give you five-hundred!
Me: (rolling eyes and gesturing to a $500 computer nearby) And I give you THIS computer.
AG: No, THIS!
Me: $1000.
AG: I give you five-hundred!
Me: No deal.
AG: (stunned silence).

There was actually quite a long pause as we just stared at each other. Then he waves me off like an annoying fly and marches out the front door. Makes me wonder if he's been successful elsewhere with that tactic.