View Full Version : The Writings On The Wall (gross)

05-27-2008, 02:29 PM
I probably told this epic tale once before on an older incarnation of this board......and I probably have referenced it or just brought it up in more recent times, but didn't tell the entire story.

Well, here goes. This does involve some language and disgusting bodily functions, so you have been warned.

I was a young, fresh, naive 15 year old girl at my first job as a hostess at a Norwegian themed restaurant. It's a family restaurant, but pretty much 90% of the customers are senior citizens, because of the type of food (not many kids and teens like lefse much all that much, and don't even try to get them to eat lutefisk).

Anyways, with senior citizens come senior moments, and obviously some problems in the bathrooms. As we get older, we lose control of our minds and our bowels and whatnot, and for the most part, I wasn't too worried about the occasional clogged toilet and seeing women coming out of the men's room.

Anyway, this one really busy night was the single worst night at a job I've ever had when it comes to messes. I mean, piddly messes at the gas station and other restaurant and grocery store and the Dep shop don't even COMPARE to this.

It was a typical busy weekend night. I had been running rampant so wildy all night, I hadn't had time to do my bathroom checks (hosts were supposed to check the bathrooms for supplies/messes every two hours) or anything else.

When everything finally died down about a half hour before close, my manager told me "Just go clean the bathrooms blas, and then you can go home."

So I cleaned the women's room. As usual, there was shredded toilet paper all over the floor, and paper towel strewn all over by the sinks. No biggie.

I cleaned the handicapped bathroom...nothing major, just a clogged toilet. Ew, but no biggie.

Then I got into the men's room. Piss all over the floor, as per usual. The first stall had a clogged toilet. Typical for the men's room.

Then I got to the second bigger stall. I nearly had a heart attack.

The toilet was clogged. There were dried up turds on the floor right next to the toilet. You could see from where I was standing that they were dry....so they'd been there for at least an hour or two. Then there was one stray dried up turd on the floor right by the wall of the stall.

This is where my mouth went totally agape. The stray turd had been used to write "666" on the stall wall. That was also dried up on the stall as well.

I dropped my Windex bottle and literally ran out the bathroom door screaming for my manager.


"Calm down blas.......what is it, another clogged toilet you can't fix?" he asked.

"No no no.....you NEED to come with me.....and bring the polaroid camera..." I managed to sputter.

He came with me into the men's room. I showed him the writings on the wall.

"What the-----what kind of FUCKING SICK BASTARD would do this?" he thought aloud.

"I--I don't think I can do this......" I stammered.

"Ok....I'm going to take the picture for the GM to see when she gets in.......you go grab the dishwasher, he can pick up the shit and unclog the toilet and all I want you to do is wipe the shit off the wall, then toss all the rags when you guys are done. Then just go home......ok?" Nick said.

The dishwasher was really nice about helping me.....he even said "What the fuck happened here?" and shook his head the entire time.

We got it all cleaned up (with gloves of course) and we tossed the rags and I called my daddy to come pick me up.

I don't remember any younger customers that night. The only young people were myself, Nick (the manager, he was 23 at the time) and the entire waitstaff. All the customers were elderly. I know old people can have their moments....but who the hell writes 666 in shit on the wall?! And it had to have happened when it was extremely busy......

05-27-2008, 03:06 PM

My first thought upon reading the topic was "Written in what?". For some reason I felt compelled to seek the answer to that question and clicked. ><

05-27-2008, 03:10 PM
Why does it always have to be 666? Why can't it be something random like 801 or something?

Legal Eagle
05-27-2008, 03:38 PM
867 would be more appropriate

05-27-2008, 03:41 PM
LOL....sorry hun, wrong country...715 is where all the idiots around here hail from.

05-27-2008, 03:51 PM
I didn't know 715 covered such a large area.

One of my older sisters has 715 and she lives in the northeastern part of the state.

05-27-2008, 05:31 PM
the customers are senior citizens, because of the type of food (not many kids and teens like lefse much all that much, and don't even try to get them to eat lutefisk).

You know, the Norwegian food might be the CAUSE of some of those bathrooms problems.... :D I'm 1/4 Norwegian, so I actually know and like Lutefisk and lefse, but I can see why others don't.

And is it just me, or is the vast majority of Norweigan food in the color range of...beige?

Oh, and HUGE major sympathies for having to deal with that!

05-27-2008, 06:36 PM
Perhaps it was an elderly gentleman who was simply trying to recall the first 3 digits of the Vancouver Airport phone # and didn't have a writing untencil on hand.

Music Mo-Gal
05-27-2008, 08:01 PM
Oh, god...why did I read this after lunch? I feel sick now...

05-27-2008, 08:36 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if it were an older person who wrote that. When my mom was 7 or so she went with her parents to visit an elderly relative in a nursing home. A nice looking older woman sitting in a wheel chair motioned for my mom to come over, so her and my grandma did. What did the old woman want to tell my mother?

Old Lady: I'm the devil.

Yeah, my grandma didn't know what to do so they just walked away. People, no matter what their age, can be screwy.

05-28-2008, 12:17 AM
For weeks afterwards we struggled to try to remember if there were any customers that night that had been a problem......but we really couldn't figure any of them that would actually do something like that.

On the subject of Norwegian food.....lutefisk just smelled awful, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole, but lefse isn't bad.