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View Full Version : New here! (sorry, long)


lola187
05-28-2008, 11:47 AM
Some gems

Newby here! I must admit, I've been lurking and reading for a year or so. I've worked some odd jobs, but at the moment I manage a little mini-helpdesk, besides being an editor.

I used to work at an auction house that sold furniture and antiques (sp?). I'd serve coffee to visitors (free), pass round sandwiches to my colleagues, and sell catalogues. This basically meant I'd come into contact with some seriously rich people, as well as a ton of cranky antique dealers on a daily basis.

Catalogues are around 10 euros (=15 dollars).

I'm sitting up front in our lobby behind the desk, selling catalogues. During the day I constantly have to keep my eye on the stack, because most people want to take a peak at the contents, if not take the booklets without paying for them. If you're selling something in THIS Month's auction, you get one for free. Other important clients, relations, usually get one as well.
BTW, GM = my kick-ass supervisor Peter.

SC: Can I have a catalogue?
ME: Sure, they're 9 euro's today. Would you like a pen?
SC: No, I always get one for free.
ME: No problem, do you have a letter from us saying you could pick one up?
SC: NO, I just get one.
ME: If you don't have a letter from us, you can ask one of my colleagues and they can come get you a booklet.
At this point the SC walks round my desk and tries to sneak away a booklet.
SC: I always get one for free! You don't know me! I come here all the time! I spend thousands of euros here every auction!
With a loud bang (too loud) I slap my hand down on the pile of catalogues.
ME: Well then it won't be such a problem for my colleagues to come get one for you. Look, Peter is standing right there. You can ask him!
SC: You snotty little bitch, you don't know who the hell you're talking to!
ME: *stunned*
My supervisor notices the commotion and walks over.
Peter: What's going on?
SC: This GIRL won't give me my catalogue
ME: That's because he hasn't paid for it.
SC (whining): But I get one for free! I always get one for free!
Peter: Doesn't matter sir, you can't talk to her like that. She just started work here, she doesn't know who you are. How much trouble is it to ask me to get you one? Here you go.
ME: (In the suckiest tone ever) Would you like a free pen?


Next auction I made him pay for the catalogue. Gnagnagna!



During our auction, whilst I'm finally enjoying a cup of coffee, this 'gentleman' comes up to me and writes down a number on his little auction board.
SC: "I'm leaving now, can you bid for me?"
ME: "Sir..."
SC: "The number will come up in about half an hour. Now don't go over 400 euros, ok?"
I'm too stunned to answer, but the guy leaves his auction number with me and strides off to the bathroom.

About fifteen minutes later I spot him again. He looks happy to see me.
SC: "Girl, listen, don't go over 500"
ME: "Sir, I can't bid for you.
SC: "What? Why not? I'm leaving right now and I need to buy this painting. Now don't go over 500".
ME: "Sir, I'm sorry, but I CANNOT bid in your name. It's illegal. The only person that can bid for you is either you or a family member."
SC: "Don't be ridiculous. Just do it. You work here now don't you?"
ME: "I do, but I work for the auction house. I don't work for YOU. Please talk to my manager, she's right over there".

I shove his auction number in his hands and leave to serve more coffee. When I walk by holding a plate of teacups, he's gotten into a screaming match with my manager, whose husband owns the place. He still doesn't get why nobody will bid for him. After 10 minutes, and the painting he wanted to buy was sold to someone else by then, he walks in the direction of the door. As he leaves he KICKS ONE OF OUR ANCIENT JAPANESE VASES IN THE LOBBY. Yes, one of the items up for auction later that week. It breaks. My boss pauses the auction and sends my colleagues (all huge and muscular guys due to the fact that they lug around closets 5 days a week) to detain him. My manager calls the police. The SC is absolutely out of control, is threating to torch the place with his lighter, and we have to lock him in our elevator and wait for the police.

All because he would not wait around an extra 25 minutes.

Annoying things customers do:

- They cannot wait for me to get back to the kitchen so I can serve them free coffee and tea. I've caught 50 people sneaking into our kitchen, helping themselves. And they never go for the regular coffee, they always serve themselves the special espresso batch I'm cooking up for the boys in the back room.

- Asking if we serve cookies or cake or sandwiches or alcohol. We have coffee and tea, and it's free. What else do you want?

- Dumping their spoiled kids on our laps and telling them to 'be good'. We get to entertain them for 5 hours whilst their parents are out buying more antique crap for their overpriced houses.

- No I cannot come over and help you get this closet open. I'm keeping an eye on this bracelet with yellow diamonds another customer is trying on. I'm not supposed to move.

Hope I did good!

marasbaras
05-28-2008, 12:10 PM
Hope I did good!

You did good.

Scorpion559
05-28-2008, 12:12 PM
The long ones are the best ones.

friendofjimmyk
05-28-2008, 12:44 PM
Peter: Doesn't matter sir, you can't talk to her like that. She just started work here, she doesn't know who you are. How much trouble is it to ask me to get you one? Here you go.
ME: (In the suckiest tone ever) Would you like a free pen?

First, :wave: welcome to the board.

Second - your manager rocks! That was an awesome response.



After 10 minutes, and the painting he wanted to buy was sold to someone else by then

:lol: So, he stood there arguing that he couldn't be there to bid for said painting and while he was arguing it was auctioned and sold? WTF? That's priceless.

And yes, you did well. Kudos!

Samaliel
05-28-2008, 01:48 PM
:lol: So, he stood there arguing that he couldn't be there to bid for said painting and while he was arguing it was auctioned and sold? WTF? That's priceless.

If that's actually what happened, I think we've just discovered a brand new species of stupid.

chainedbarista
05-28-2008, 03:25 PM
it's not just stupid, but stupid with MONEY.

(that scares me)

rerant
05-28-2008, 03:34 PM
It's true, you can't buy class.
Not even antique class.

jerkface11
05-28-2008, 03:44 PM
Don't auction houses usually allow you to place a bid on something ahead of time? Some even have proxy bidders and others actually allow you to call a bid in. I guess all of those options make sense though. So the SC goes up to the girl who's handing out coffee.

Samaliel
05-28-2008, 03:47 PM
I think those options require some kind of paperwork, in order to prevent legal issues. And common sense.

Gothicsmurf
05-28-2008, 03:51 PM
The long ones are the best ones.

I agree. Short ones are alright, but the long ones have more character and really show the UGH factor.

marlovino
05-28-2008, 04:49 PM
I agree. Short ones are alright, but the long ones have more character and really show the UGH factor.

Show of hands, how many of us took that statement into the gutter?

< <

> >

{silence}


.......ummmmm i know I didn't. :angel:

Gothicsmurf
05-28-2008, 06:32 PM
:spew:

LMAO. I suppose I should have rephrased that.

MadMike
05-28-2008, 06:42 PM
ME: (In the suckiest tone ever) Would you like a free pen?


I can tell you where you should have stuck that free pen. :devil:

Wonderful first post. Welcome aboard. :cool:

ArcticChicken
05-29-2008, 12:14 AM
- Dumping their spoiled kids on our laps and telling them to 'be good'. We get to entertain them for 5 hours whilst their parents are out buying more antique crap for their overpriced houses.


At which point you give them that espresso you made, then make their parents pay for whatever they break.

RetailWorkhorse
05-29-2008, 02:26 AM
You did fabulous!

Show of hands, how many of us took that statement into the gutter?

< <

> >

{silence}


.......ummmmm i know I didn't. :angel:

*Raises hand* I'll do it again, too. :devil:

At which point you give them that espresso you made, then make their parents pay for whatever they break.

Now there's a doozy of an idea! I love it so much I think I'll try that next time some Tourist dump their kids into my store and leaves them.

Andara Bledin
05-30-2008, 01:13 AM
:welcome:

Yeah, you did great!

I just love how you offered that first douchebag a pen after he finally got his free catalog. And it's just icing that you got to make him pay for one the next time. :D

^-.-^

Gabrielle Proctor
05-30-2008, 01:29 AM
Welcome!

There are few rich people that I like. But, the few I like, I REALLY like. They're either complete assholes or the nicest ppl you've ever met.

tropicsgoddess
05-30-2008, 03:34 AM
Great first post! Welcome to CS!!! :wave:

lola187
05-30-2008, 11:31 AM
Yes! Our auctionhouse definitely allows you to bid 'by paper'. In that case the auctioneer bids in your name. You have to sign a release and everything. I even mentioned it to the customer and my manager tried to set this up for him at the last minute. But he refused, saying that he didn't trust us.

And yes, during the argument the painting was sold to someone else. It was a god-awful ugly piece too.