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View Full Version : Just Damn (long, bad news, clearing my head)


Geek King
05-30-2008, 06:27 PM
I feel like I need to get this out. Just some self-therapy. Good thoughts/prays would be appreciated, though.

I go home from work last night, looking forward to finally putting some time into Age of Conan since I haven't been able to play since the release. I boot the compy, get the latest patch, and get a character made. No sooner do I get to the beach cutscene, then a loud POP! and a burst of light emits from behind my PC tower. The screen goes dark, as does all the PC status lights. I've just blown a 500W power supply, and didn't even get a power surge or outage to show for it.

I make an emergancy run out to the local computer shop, and fortunately find another 500W power supply with all the connectors I'll need for the case display, drives, and video card*. Get back, install the new power supply, and test the compy. By some wonder, everything is working, and I don't have to replace further fried componants. Yay! Time to boot up AoC!

As the program is loading I get a call from my Mom. My grandmother on my father's side has been rushed to the hospital with severe breathing problems. They're calling all the family in the area to her bedside because they can't get her breathing right again.

I grab a book on the way out the door and make for the hospital. I get there just before Mom and Dad. My Grandfather is worried out of his mind, and my grandmother's sister is at her bedside. Grandma is gasping for air, and they have her on O2 to keep the saturation levels up. EMS has done what they can to stabilize her, and she's being moved to observation. After a while, they try a C-PAP (sp?) machine on her, and that seems to work. Over several hours, her breathing normalized and her color went back to normal. The nurses and doctors decide to move her to ICU for the night.

Things still aren't good, though. See, she has been treating an inoperable cancer mass in her chest for several months with kemotherapy, and while it hasn't gotten smaller, it also hasn't gotten bigger. Well, the fear now is that it shifted, and is laying against the bronchial tubes. Things could go south awfully quick, and now I'm in fear of the phone ringing. The news will likely be bad if it's my folks calling.

I got home sometime after one in the morning. Got up at six for work. I'm putting on a good front for Dad, who is looking at losing his mother, and Grandpa, who has been married to her for over sixty years. I'm an awfully good liar, when I put my mind to it. I sit here at work, fixing computers, or writing when I have a spare moment. It keeps me from losing it. I can't do that right now. The family needs me to understand what the doctors mean. Needs someone who can crack a joke at a time like this. I think it made everyone a little lighter when I got Grandma to giggle last night, even as the C-PAP whooshed away next to her. I'm crying some now, but that's okay. Nobody in my office to see over lunch. I can bring it back together. Logic and Snark. My two mental blades against myself. Being dependable sucks.

Feeling better now, so maybe it helped after all. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

* Before someone asks, yes, I do have enough power supply for the stuff I'm running. I ran it by a professional PC builder when I was putting it together.

crazylegs
05-30-2008, 06:30 PM
Feeling better now, so maybe it helped after all. If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

We're here whenever you need to talk.

Here's hoping for your Grandma.

Evil Queen
05-30-2008, 06:33 PM
*hugs tightly*

I'm sorry my dear King. I hope your grandmother will be okay and make it through this. She sounds like a tough lady.

Being dependable sucks.
When you're the one that needs to be the strong one for the family, yes, it does suck. I know how you feel.

Emrld
05-30-2008, 07:09 PM
yes, you spelled C-Pap correctly

streangth headed your way
warmth toward your father and Grandfather
and Calm with some extra love for Grandma

Being strong helps the family, but you are allowed to cry with them.
Please keep us posted on her condition. (and if we can do anything else long distance . . .just tell us)

iradney
05-30-2008, 08:48 PM
Hey Geek King. Sending loads and loads of warm and happy thoughts in your family's direction.
It's ok to let go every now and then as well, k?

sms001
05-30-2008, 10:21 PM
Being the medspeak to human speak translator is tough, especially when you're close to the person involved. I'm glad for your family that they have someone they can rely on for that and the uplift too. Kudos to you and my best wishes.

BookstoreEscapee
05-30-2008, 11:29 PM
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's tough to watch your parents losing their parents. When my grandmother died my dad had gone to pick up his sister from the airport shuttle; they got to the hospital too late and he almost fell over when my mom told him she was gone. It's strange to be the "strength" for the person who always took care of you.

It's good that you want to be that person for your family, but don't forget to let them be there for you, too.

Sending big virtual hugs. You know there's always someone around here for you.

Becks
05-31-2008, 02:49 AM
*oodles of hugs*

tropicsgoddess
05-31-2008, 03:11 AM
*tons of hugs* :hug:

RetailWorkhorse
05-31-2008, 03:34 AM
*Pats*

I'm sorry, My King, but I have no way to comfort you. We're here whenever you need to talk, though.

ArcticChicken
05-31-2008, 03:44 AM
We're listening.

Fenrus
05-31-2008, 04:05 AM
Hey GK, we're here to help. You can lean on your friends here for support, because who are we to deny you?

I'm sorry you're going through this. When my great grandma passed, I had just left her side to leave, because I couldn't take seeing her like that anymore... I told her I'd be back, and an hour after she was gone... I know how it feels, man.

Fire_on_High
05-31-2008, 02:03 PM
* Before someone asks, yes, I do have enough power supply for the stuff I'm running. I ran it by a professional PC builder when I was putting it together.

Sometimes it happens. My gaming rig lost its power supply to an outage so short it didn't even bring the other machine (the tough old k6-3 box mentioned in Flea's thread) completely down. Sometimes they just have a marginal part that gives out under the tiniest bit of extra stress or for no reason at all.

I've lost one cheap as crap ($17) PSU to a random blowout like that, compared to quite a few of my friends having issues with hundred dollar Antecs and the like. All the rest were either slow fails or dying then dead fans, some with over a year of warning before they went out.

Sorry to hear about things tho...I hope they can find some treatment that works well for your Gran.

morgana
06-01-2008, 02:34 AM
Oh, dear. Lots of hugs, and remember we're here for you.

FuzzyKitten99
06-01-2008, 03:09 AM
Can't say anything much different in point than the others, so really, ditto to everything already said.

Sucks to see relatives suffer.

Bella_Vixen
06-01-2008, 04:00 AM
{hugs}

Words can't describe.

Der Cute
06-01-2008, 05:12 AM
Hon, talk, if you want, we're all here. Big squishy hugs for you, and remember: it's ok to cry. I don't care if people think I'm a blubbering fool, I'm crying for a reason!

Let it out. Get it out. I've been feeling crappy last few days, and today I went outside and started digging up weeds. Felt good - the buggers are just evil, and I got to put some of my grrr energy into digging up stuff.

Stay busy, yes, but if you need to cry - DO IT. Let the boss know you're having a rough time right now, and that you may need to leave at the drop of a hat. And good bosses will understand this.

We'll help you, Geek King.

Cutenoob

Geek King
06-02-2008, 01:25 PM
Thanks for the good thoughts, guys. It was a tough weekend, spent mostly at the hospital. Things were touch-and-go until Sunday morning, but Grandma is doing much better. She's off the machine, sitting up, and talking clearly.

There is also bad news. The breathing trouble seems to have been caused by two growths in the bronchial tubes. Today is the biopsy on them, but the doctor's are fairly sure her cancer may have breached the walls of her airway. If that is what is happening, it means her kemo treatments are no longer keeping the cancer in check, and it is only a matter of time.

I think it's hitting me hard because I've had a really stellar last couple of weeks. The job is going well, I got some free tickets to the movies, and I ran a convention game that the players raved about. Then this happened, and I feel like somone kicked a ladder out from under me. If I was having a worse time of it, it would have been easier to deal with. I'm used to being kicked while I'm down and fighting my way back up, not crashing from hieght.

And again, thanks for the good thoughts/hugs/ect. It means a lot to me.

Evil Queen
06-04-2008, 01:34 AM
With your recent update, my dear, I think you need more hugs.

*hugs lots*

Keep us updated. We're all here for ya.