My "Papa" died

[Eben56]

I don't know if this is the proper place to put this, or if even anywhere on this forum is correct, but I have to talk to someone and the people on this forum seem a lot more real than any one else I have met on line.
My father in law passed away this week. To some I know it would be a time of celebration,, I guess I'm too old fashioned for that.
When my folks died a few years ago, it seemed much simpler. There were four of us children and they wanted to be cremated, so what befell to each of us was fairly simple.
My Father-in law "Papa" (Jim) was a decorated hero of WWII and a devoted Catholic. Married 60 years to my MIL.
My wife is their only child and as she has MS and is disabled, it fell to me to make most of the arrangements. There are 5 grandchildren and 9 G Grandchildren.
It has been a long and interesting week filled with tears, laughter, love, etc.
I had told my Papa that it would be a cold day in hell when I went into a Catholic Church, so today I found myself in the Pulpit of St. Mary's delivering my interpretation of the letters of St Paul to the Romans. I was told I did a better job than the priest.. Sorry, that was just an aside.:lol:
It was just 5 years ago that we finally got them to move up next to us. (Mass. to Maine) I gave them 5 acres of land on the pond right next to us. (He loved the pond) When I think of the times I got soooo mad at him for stupid shit.
The ceremony was beautiful.. when we got to the cemetery, there was a full veterans guard to do the flag ceremony. (Sailors as he was in the Navy on the USS Montpelier in WWII) AS they began to fold the flag, Taps began. WE looked around to see a lone bugler standing on the highest point of the cemetery beneath a tall tree, about 100 feet away.
Sorry.... This post was not about a CS or a sighting, or a moron... Just something I had to share with my friends.
Any of you had moments of clarity (think star trek) revolving around a life event?:beam:

[Aethian]

*snugs tightly and just holds* Be well, he's had a good long go at it.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm sorry to hear about your father-in-law. My condolences. :hugs:




And yeah, some people do get along with their in-laws. My mother spent more time with my father's mom than anyone in the last several years of her life (in part because she was the only one not working but that's beside the point). At the hospital the night she passed away, I heard my dad's sister (who lives in Texas) say "Thank you for taking care of my mom." My mother replied, "I was taking care of my mom." (My mom was 21 when her mother died, and in her mid-30s when her father died; my dad's parents were her surrogate parents.)

It's great that you were able to have that kind of relationship and respect for your father-in-law.

[Boozy]

I am so sorry about your loss.

My family and I are currently going through much the same thing. Its an odd feeling to be celebrating a life well-lived, and at the same time grieving.

I'm glad he was given a military funeral. That must have been a great honour to you and your family.

[Eben56]

Thanks. Not even sure if this should be here, but.. The week is over, the funeral is over, its just me, a bottle of brandy, and the computer. (the wife is staying with MIL).. Who ya gonna call?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You've said 3 times now that you're not sure if this thread is appropriate here...that's what Off Topic is for!! And that's what we're here for. :)

[Ree]

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Please stop apologizing for posting this here.
This is exactly what the forum is for - posting whatever is on your mind from outside the realm of customer service.

Any time you need to vent or unburden, go ahead. If you need a listening ear, feel free to PM.
We are all here for you.

[Plaidman]

Boom shakalaka. We're all here for ya. Some of us have gone through the same thing, others not so much. But do know that we're happy to hear from ya.

In anycase, you did a great thing. Feel happy.

On a side note, was it cold that day?

[Luna Baby]

Eben, I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my f-i-l in April of 1999. We had actually moved back 'home' to live with and care for him during his final days/weeks/months. I cried more for him than I did when I lost my own father a few years later. It is so easy to become more than an in-law when you have great parents of your spouse.

Continue to share, especially the good memories you have of your father in law. It does make the loss easier to cope with, just knowing that they left you with those memories, that they were a big part of your life.

[tropicsgoddess]

I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

[powerboy]

I am sorry for your loss

[Rapscallion]

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:

Please stop apologizing for posting this here.
This is exactly what the forum is for - posting whatever is on your mind from outside the realm of customer service.

Any time you need to vent or unburden, go ahead. If you need a listening ear, feel free to PM.
We are all here for you.

I named this area 'community' for a reason. We'll be here when you need us.

Rapscallion

[Eben56]

I want to thank everyone for your kind words.

It says a lot about how special the people who join this group are.

I kept expressing my insecurity about posting here on such a personal subject because frankly, I have been treated like crap when showing a little vulnerability on other sites. Also, there have been threads here lately questioning the veracity of some that like to post "look at me".

I have never considered myself a poster for the sake of posting. I started using the internet for communication before most of the people (forgive me if you are over 30) who post here were born.. It was a method of communication and nothing else.

My first Bulletin Board was started in 1990 off a little server we had at a friends house. My first experience with a telnet message was 1978. In those days, we didn't even have a tube.. it was all done with teletypes.

In '87 I had first great breakthrough with a PC. $2,500 for a unit with no hard drive.

Won't get into any more old timers (which rhymes with Alzheimer's) stuff.

I guess the point I want to deliver is that in 30 or so years of computer use, this is the only place I have ever felt comfortable enough to share myself. Hell, most places I go, I won't even tell them where I'm found.

Thank you Mods.. And thank you especially Raps. If it were up to me I put you all in charge of Homeland Security.

And to anyone from this site.. If you are ever going to be near Midcoast Maine, there is a Lobster dinner waiting for you. Just PM me.

I love you all.:yourock:

[Geek King]

Ebon, you have my empathy. We all deal with death in different ways, and you need to do what seems right to you. The good memories are the ones that hurt the worst, but those are the ones worth keeping. Best wishes.

[Eben56]

On a side note, was it cold that day?

Actually no..It rained on our way to the funeral home.. And stopped when we got there. It rained as we proceeded to the church.. And stopped when we got there.
It rained during the service.. and stopped when we left the church. It rained as the procession went 20 miles to the cemetery.. and stopped for the graveside service.

Being a good atheist/agnostic, I have tried to ignore the incredible stuff that went on.

We were all on 24hr vigil. 2 of my daughters were with him when he passed. He was in the bed with rasping breath.. suddenly he stopped rasping, opened his eyes, looked at my daughter (his granddaughter) and said "Momma just called,, she needs a ride, I've got to go now". He closed his eyes and died.

Its hard for me to share this. I am the rock (the new patriarch) of the family and now I have begun to question myself and my very innermost beliefs.

I have a brother that I can talk like this to.. but he won't be here for another month. So for now you are my support group.. Even if no one ever responds it feels better to type it out.

Thanks.

[Eben56]

Last post about this.. I promise.

Just wanted to share a picture.

I love you Papa... AS did your country.

The only thing I should add is that the young man on the right with the striped shirt is my grandson who was wounded in Iraq. (The other two heroes in the truck with him were killed). (both friends from here).

Please God... Save us from ourselves.

[Evil Queen]

Thank you for sharing that lovely photo. It reminded me of my Papa (my maternal grandfather). He was in the service as well; an Army Veteran whom was stationed in Germany. I think it was during WW2.
The flag was also folded at my Papa's funeral.

For some reason, this has only invoked happy memories in me. Eban, thank you. And I'm sorry for your loss.

*hugs*