Online dating sites

[TTAZ]

A question for you all- what is your opinion on online dating sites/personals? Any success stories? Any horror-filled tales? Any advice?

[Jester]

Lately I've been giving said sites a try. And my personal opinion is that so far as I can see, they are pretty much garbage. Too many of the "people" I find on there, or who find me, are nothing more than fronts for pay or adult sites, rather than actual people who want to meet and possibly date.

Now, I admit that part of my problem may be the fact that I live down here at Land's End, away by a good degree from any major metropolitan area. But it still seems, at least to me, that these sites, or at least the ones I have been trying, are just a load of hooey.

[marasbaras]

My experience with the dating sites is that the women there are typically spoiled and bratty. They get TONS of attention and it goes to their head.

[Gravekeeper]

Depends on the site. There's a couple of big main stream ones that you may have a chance on. But then there's 9832472572 smaller ones full of psychos and spam. -.-

That said my ex was off one such site and we worked out for 8 or 9 months.

[protege]

They're a crock of shit, IMHO. I dumped my memberships after not hearing from anyone in several months--I get enough of that in real life. Usually, it went something like this--someone would click on my profile, we'd chat a bit, and then I'd never hear from them again. No emails, nothing. The last one went a bit further--we talked via phone for a bit once...and then nothing. Maybe the message I left her about the traffic jam (she'd mentioned how she drove to work) was a bit too much. I mean, heaven forbid I do something nice... Needless to say, she quit talking to me after that :confused:

[Nashida]

I think they're nothing but a hot cup of BS. I tried once to get into one of the big ones, where I could view my matches for free, but I couldn't look at anything unless I made a name for myself. I spent 11 MINUTES just trying to come up with a name for myself that somebody else didn't already have.

IMHO, nothing beats meeting someone face-to-face by chance. If you're really lucky, a small chat at a cafe turns into a full-blown, 3-hour long conversation, with visits afterwards.

[blas]

I won't do the online dating thing again. Never actually paid for anything, never went really beyond the piddly sites, although I made lots of friends off of Myspace. Yes, I was a naughty girl and met people off myspace, but some of them are friends for life now. But the one guy I met for a date had a fake picture and he was just ugly and disgusting and he tricked me and I learned a lesson.

[ditchdj]

Yeah but why then would you meet someone in a bar? To me it's no different. And many people know what kind of trouble you can find in a bar. But my brother met his wife of 20 years there and they're doing just fine together. I ended up meeting my wife in a Yahoo! chat room and I wasn't even looking for someone to meet. I was just trolling the chat room with nothing to do. We've been together for eight years now. I did try one of those Yahoo! dating ads and met some woman that I went over to her house and slept with right after my divorce but that was pretty much it. Talked to some other girl for about a year but she wouldn't agree to meet me in person.

[Jester]

I have met both great and horrible women in the bars, and online. Every medium has its ups and downs.

[TTAZ]

Okay, so which ones seem decent to try, and which ones should be avoided at all costs?

P.S.- getting so much attention from guys that it goes to my head? Throw in a white russian, and the latest Doctor Who, and I'm set!

[Jester]

Throw in a white russian, and the latest Doctor Who, and I'm set!

I'm a bartender and a Doctor Who fan.

Just saying. :whistle:

[InverseHellion]

Oh the latest episode was AWESOME.

But back On-Topic, I'm rather fond of Soul Geek as a dating/networking/goofing around site. Their free set up is decent and if you decide you want to pay for the better membership it's not 'arm & a leg' expensive. Plus everyone on there is a geek in some way. ^_^

[BookstoreEscapee]

My roommate has met a few guys from a couple sites (I think match.com and/or Yahoo personals). I don't think any of them have turned into more than a date or two, but she had dinner with a guy the other night that she is interested in seeing again.

I'm going to a wedding next month in which the couple met on Yahoo personals.

I've thought about it but never tried it. Frankly I'd like to just meet some people to hang out with...if something turned into a date so much the better.

[Listerfiend]

I tried out I think three or four different sites, and wasn't a paying member on any of them. I only got in contact with one person (through Yahoo personals), as ALL of the guys that ended up talking to me attempted to solicit sex from me (very charming). I really did luck out, though--one of the only people I messaged ended up being a paying member so we were actually able to get in contact with each other, and we've been together for three years now. And we're actually starting to plan our wedding. (and yes, the first few times we met up it was in public)

So yeah... online dating is 99% creeps, but there are some gems on there.

[Gravekeeper]

So yeah... online dating is 99% creeps, but there are some gems on there.

Well, real life is roughly 70-80% creeps but its more difficult to escape them due to physical proximity. -.-

I think, honestly, people are people regardless and there will be the same assholes where ever you go. The benefit to online matchmaking is you often get a lot more information about a person before making the decision to approach them. Which is great, actually. Because you already know if there are any big deal breakers there or not. Plus, considering the difficulty level of attempting to find someone compatible purely by random luck in public, I think I'd go for online matchmaking first.

But yes, you really do have to stick to the big respectable sites. The 9000 knock offs that have 0 moderation are just going to be trouble.

If you want a free site that's pretty good, check OkCupid.com. It also has a rather quirky sense of humor to it. -.-

[TTAZ]

I'm a bartender and a Doctor Who fan.

Just saying. :whistle:

Yes, but you are in the tropical land of humidity and frizzy hair whilst I am in the landlocked desert of cracked lips and sweaty cholos.

The shipping costs alone for the white russian would be ridiculous.

[Jester]

Plus, considering the difficulty level of attempting to find someone compatible purely by random luck in public, I think I'd go for online matchmaking first.

I dunno. I have had a mixed bag of success with both.

Met some really cool people who became lifelong friends (and sometimes a bit more) online.

Met the love of my life purely randomly. In a bar. (Though we were introduced by a mutual friend in said bar.)

Met the girl I had the longest relationship of my life through personals.

I have met people that have stayed in my life or affected my life profoundly in all ways. I have also met some seriously horrible people through all those ways. I am not turned on or off to any method because of that, though I will say that in recent years, dating sites have gotten me nowhere. (Most of the women I met online were NOT through dating sites, just chatting.)

If you want a free site that's pretty good, check OkCupid.com. It also has a rather quirky sense of humor to it.

Quirky sense of humor? Oh, I have to check it out now! :D

Yes, but you are in the tropical land of humidity and frizzy hair whilst I am in the landlocked desert of cracked lips and sweaty cholos.

The shipping costs alone for the white russian would be ridiculous.

Ah, but you seem to have missed something. If your listed location and your comments are any indication of where you are, you may be close to where I am from and where I am planning to move to, i.e., Phoenix, Arizona. (I am from Tempe.)

I see Sonoran, I assume you are in the Sonoran Desert, though of course, as always, I reserve the right to be completely, horribly, and humiliatingly wrong. :lol:

[Gravekeeper]

I dunno. I have had a mixed bag of success with both.


Aye, I wouldn't rule out either completely to be honest. The bar scene doesn't work for me because, well, I don't like bars and I don't drink. So I wouldn't be at one and I doubt the type of female I'd be compatible with would be at one.

Online sites work better for me since aside from work and shopping I'm not really out in public all that often. I'm not much for crowds and noise so I'd generally prefer to be in non-public areas with a couple friends.

So I say go with what works best for you. If you're tired of trying the social scene by all means try an online site. They work just as often to be honest.

[Jester]

The bar scene doesn't work for me because, well, I don't like bars and I don't drink. So I wouldn't be at one and I doubt the type of female I'd be compatible with would be at one.

Pretty much the same reasoning that keeps me from seeking my mate in the church scene.......

[friendofjimmyk]

Well, stay away from the Craigslist personals for one thing. Those are mostly full of spam or seriously sick people. Maybe one or two decent guys there - but mostly escorts or who knows what....


I was on Yahoo personals for awhile - but you have to pay for the privilege of receiving emails. So, I never really got past the "icebreaker" stage with anyone.

Match.com isn't so bad. It's main stream and seems pretty up and up. Then, of course, there's eHarmony - but that site costs as well.

True is supposed to be fairly decent. Then I think there's one called "gofish" or something like that. I can't check the exact addy because I'm at work and pretty much ALL personals have been blocked now.

[edit] Wow. Wait, they unblocked all of those blocked personal sites. Hmm.... it's gofishdating.com - the gofish is a kids website - please don't go there for dates. tee hee.

[XXDarrienX]

EQ and her bf know I pretty much only use those to meet people. Once I left the psycho ex I went right back into it, met someone and was dating them for two weeks before they decided to just be friends as I was picking them up for the date and I could not with a conscious really decide to just leave her home after picking her up. Then per EQ's bf I tried eHarmony and thats how I met the current girl so, its not always useful but its my current only way I can meet people easily enough.

Edit: It also has its bad times, thats how I met the psycho whos now an ex >_>

[ShadedWings]

My mom met her current husband through eHarmony. First person she matched up with, and they ended up engaged 6 months later. (Of course, she then berated me for meeting/being with someone from online after that, the hypocrite. Ahem, anyway...) I suggest the site to people, but never have used any of those. I met my guy playing text games. :D Been "together" for hmm... 8-9 years now, living together for about 7.