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Gravekeeper
06-22-2008, 05:33 PM
Bit of a slow week. -.-




Qualified

SC: "I'm calling for my interview."
Me: “Are you sure you have the right number? This is <company>”
SC: “Yes, they told me I could call any time for a job interview.”

I don’t think they meant that literally. Because the only ones here at 2am is me and my compatriot and neither of us can provide or are remotely qualified to provide such a service on their behalf. I could give it a whirl if you like but I’d be pulling questions completely at random out of my backside and I doubt many of them would be relevant to your employment. Unless for some reason <company> cares how far you can get a traffic cone up your ass in Lego aisle of Toys R Us while singing "I want to be the very best! Like no one ever was!" before you’re removed by security.



That's Not How This Works

Ah, I see the two of you have put your devious little rodent minds together and come up with a clever plan: Share a double room and try to use TWO of the same coupon on the same room to lower the price even further. I bet you thought this was rather cunning. But sadly, it doesn’t work that way. Your powers combined cannot lower the rate below $59 nor summon Captain Planet. If you even wanted too that is. I always thought he was kind of a knob myself. I mean seriously, what the hell? I don't want the fate of the world resting on the shoulders of a superhero that can be taken out by spraying him in the face with Pam.



Ah Ha! A Clue, Sherlock!

Exhibit A) Car alarms have been going off in the parkade all night. You refer to this as “very annoying.”
Exhibit B) The parking garage door was stuck half open all night.

These are two compelling pieces of evidence you have offered me. What could they possibly mean? Surely you don’t think they’re related do you? No, no you didn’t. Two very clearly connected facts. Two of the biggest, most bloated walrus like dots one could possibly be presented with separated by a space so narrow you could barely get the pencil in between them to connect said dots, and you, you my friend, were unable to make any kind of correlation between A and B.



Mhmm

SC: “I’m looking for Rick”
Me: “Rick? There's no one here by that name.”
SC: “I want to speak with Rick.”
Me: “This is <company>, are you sure you’re calling the right number?”
SC: “I don’t know his number.”

Yes, I believe that was my point.



....

A strange man outside of 7/11 offered to "let me find him" for a dollar. I declined as it seemed like it would be a rather short game with a possible surprise ending I may not enjoy and could not easily wash off. He responded by inferring many things about the orientation of my sexuality. Very loudly.




What Is It With Parkades?

1) You are trying to gain access to the parkade.

2) You cannot “find the button.” that opens the parkade door.

3) I think this is kind of silly, but what the hell, I’m feeling generous tonight so I check with the duty manager to learn where this mystical button is.

4) He tells me where the mystical button is.

5) I tell you where the mystical button is. Very specifically. Go down the stairs to the parkade, turn your head to the right, there will be a giant grey box that says OPEN on it. Inside this box is the grail you seek.

6) You still could not find it.

7) I began mentally forming theories as to why this is including repeated childhood head trauma, a history of heavy drug use or perhaps you grew up unknowingly calling your sister “mom”.

8) You demanded I send someone down there, at 2am no less, to hold your hand and show you where the button was.

9) Fate smiled upon me and the intercom timer cut you off before you could subject me to further pitiful mewing.

10) You did not call back. So I assume you attempted to reach me through the intercom again, but could not locate the button.



Friends Don't Let Friends Drink & Dial

SC: “So, er, uh, what is the grand prishe fer da lotto anyway?”
Me: “The grand prize is a 2 million dollar home.”
SC: “Oh wowsh!”

Sadly, using a Mastercard does not require a sobriety test. Otherwise it’d save me a fair amount of hassle some nights. Heck, if breathalyzer activated call blocks were installed on every phone north of the 60th parallel it’d save me a lot of hassle some nights. I know it’d never happen of course. Something about “civil rights” or “access to emergency services” or something.

But a boy can dream.



The Darkest Theory

Me: “Good evening, <company>”
SC: “Yeah, can I get a cab?”
Me: “You have the wrong number.”
SC: “I do?”

Why do you doubt me? Have you ever once called a cab company anywhere in north America where they’ve told you you called the wrong number so you asked them again and they actually went “Just kidding!”? Must I really reconfirm your failure? Are you so desperate to be proven wrong that you must once again stick your hand in the proverbial flame of your mistake? Or is this more like some weird phone fetish of yours. Perhaps being told you're wrong makes you moist and tingly?

Wait, scratch that. I don’t even want to contemplate that. With the amount of failure I confront on a nightly basis here even the possibly of that makes me feel used and dirty. <shudder>



Arrghh...

Me: “Ok, can I have your nam-“
SC: “I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU!!!!”

Yes, that’s because you have me on speaker phone and you’re standing in an entirely different room presumable mining the darkest recesses of your ass crack with a plaster trowel while you yell down the hallway at the phone. Perhaps if you actually picked up the alien device known as the receiver or at the very least came within 10 meters of the phone you would be able to decipher my words.


Thanks for Sharing

Me: “Ok, still suite #35?”
SC: “No, it’s suite #38 now. I moved next door from my girlfriend.”
Me: “Alright-“
SC: “I needed my space.”

I’m not sure why you felt the need to share that. But while it’s out there, in the open, quivering on the kitchen floor in a puddle of its own insecurities, let us discuss it, shall we? So you and your girlfriend were living together, you did something bad ( I’m assuming this is your fault just from the mocking girly voice you used for “space” ), she told you to get out.....so you moved in next door?

I’m guessing the reason you couldn’t move into suite #36 or #37 is because her restraining order has a 20 foot radius.



I Am Easily Amused

I spotted a new treasure at 7/11. Pocket Fruit Mix To Go Nut Free. Fuck ya! Nut Free! I settled in with my newfound treats. Which promised organic strawberry and orange fruit nuggets. Fruit nuggets. Seriously, how can you not want fruit nuggets? I didn’t even know fruit came in nuggets. I’m surprised it took this long to get fruit into nugget form. I mean we’ve already managed to convert every possible animal into nugget form. It’s about time we moved on to other food groups. Everything tastes better as a nugget. No, really. It's in the Bible.

It also promised a dried fruit medley of pineapple, mango, banana & papaya. Which was technically true. Except it was about 98% Nugget, 2% Medley and the Medley consisted of half a piece of dried banana. But who cares, I mean, fruit nuggets! 98% fruit nuggets!



Well Oiled Machine

Me: “and your phone number please?”
SC: “Ah, hang on a sec……hmmm…..sorry, I have too many numbers in my head.”

Just do what I do and purge any and all numerical information within 30 seconds of receiving it. Seriously, I could repeat a number back to a caller 9 times but 3 seconds after I hit F4 that information is gone. I couldn’t even tell you the area code. Years of being a CSR have honed my mind into the perfect call information processing system. I can recall anything with unflinching clarity for roughly 30 seconds on a call in exchange for completely losing it within 5 seconds of disconnecting lest it use up precious system resources. My mind is like a steel trap reinforced with a handful of used straws out of the trash bin at McDonalds’.


Let Me Paint You A Picture

Alright, let me outline a scenario and you tell me if you've ever experienced this before. As I'm sure you have at your work place.

You go to the bathroom, open the door, foolishly inhale and stumble back as if punched in the face by whatever lay within. One of your coworkers has done something....unholy....in there recently. Something so unspeakable it's making your eyes water.

3 things immediately leap into your mind all tied around a single objective:

1) Get in and get out before someone else comes and thinks you're responsible for whatever dark fissure between this world and the black bogs of the 3rd circle of Hell your coworker has wrought with his anus.

2) Get in and get out before your attempts to inhale as little of the dark miasma as possible end with you passed out and slumped over the porcelain altar as a sacrifice to whatever dark beings helped your coworker open said fissure.

3) Get in and get out before the aroma of the black vapours within stick to your clothing and you're forced to burn everything you're wearing in the backyard when you get home.



Skaweeee~

Me: “Good morning, <company>”
SC: “Dang, I got da wroooung numba!”

Yes, yes you do. Since the possibility of me either squealing like a pig or being able to produce an empty moonshine container and with it perform soothing rhythms by merely blowing on the mouth of the bottle is highly unlikely. This rules out 2 of the 3 possible life objectives you have. As for the 3rd, well, I'm not your cousin and I'm not bent over a tire swing with my pants down.

Guess thats 3 strikes, Jimbob.




Vocabulary

Me: “It’s only 3am here locally, so I don’t have a travel agent in until 8am.”
SC: “But I’m from Europe!”

I’m failing to see how that overrides the harsh reality that is timezones. You’re going to need to make a more compelling argument then “My country drinks a vast amount of tea possibly with biccies and/or crumpets, therefore someone must get out of bed at 3am halfway across the world to book me a hotel room.”

Yes, that’s right, biccies. It was word #17 on my list of words my friend from the UK used that I had to stop him mid sentence and ask him to define so I could figure out what the heck he was on about. I believe #16 was “chavs”.








Thus ends my week... -.-

Raieth
06-22-2008, 05:48 PM
:worship: bow to the almighty gravekeeper :worship:


edit: First! Ha!

Hemily
06-22-2008, 05:57 PM
but you see, being from Europe, we're more highly developed, and our very presence, will alter time and space!

:pigfly:

karath
06-22-2008, 06:05 PM
Bit of a slow week. -.-




Qualified

SC: "I'm calling for my interview."
Me: “Are you sure you have the right number? This is <company>”
SC: “Yes, they told me I could call any time for a job interview.”

I don’t think they meant that literally. Because the only ones here at 2am is me and my compatriot and neither of us can provide or are remotely qualified to provide such a service on their behalf. I could give it a whirl if you like but I’d be pulling questions completely at random out of my backside and I doubt many of them would be relevant to your employment. Unless for some reason <company> cares how far you can get a traffic cone up your ass in Lego aisle of Toys R Us while singing "I want to be the very best! Like no one ever was!" before you’re removed by security.




Let Me Paint You A Picture

Alright, let me outline a scenario and you tell me if you've ever experienced this before. As I'm sure you have at your work place.

You go to the bathroom, open the door, foolishly inhale and stumble back as if punched in the face by whatever lay within. One of your coworkers has done something....unholy....in there recently. Something so unspeakable it's making your eyes water.

3 things immediately leap into your mind all tied around a single objective:

1) Get in and get out before someone else comes and thinks you're responsible for whatever dark fissure between this world and the black bogs of the 3rd circle of Hell your coworker has wrought with his anus.

2) Get in and get out before your attempts to inhale as little of the dark miasma as possible end with you passed out and slumped over the porcelain altar as a sacrifice to whatever dark beings helped your coworker open said fissure.

3) Get in and get out before the aroma of the black vapours within stick to your clothing and you're forced to burn everything you're wearing in the backyard when you get home.

It is extremely harsh that all that constitutes a slow week, good sir...but moving on!

I have to ask, did you manage to give the 2 am job moron your own "interview" questions? That would probably be one of those things cops would be too mortified to even write a report on, plus you could always claim that no sane man would ever pose such a question. People who believe that the world is a sane, comfortable place would probably believe that!

The bathroom story? That was just a MASTERPIECE. I spent about five minutes on the floor laughing my ass off and being grateful there aren't any pets upstairs that could maul my face while I'm helpless. Great work man, and good luck next week!

p.s. how's the back doing?

Aramika
06-22-2008, 06:53 PM
Everything tastes better as a nugget. No, really. It's in the Bible.

Those two sentences made me collapse into a fit of giggles. :roll::lol:

MystyGlyttyr
06-22-2008, 08:36 PM
Friends Don't Let Friends Drink & Dial

SC: “So, er, uh, what is the grand prishe fer da lotto anyway?”
Me: “The grand prize is a 2 million dollar home.”
SC: “Oh wowsh!”

Sadly, using a Mastercard does not require a sobriety test. Otherwise it’d save me a fair amount of hassle some nights. Heck, if breathalyzer activated call blocks were installed on every phone north of the 60th parallel it’d save me a lot of hassle some nights. I know it’d never happen of course. Something about “civil rights” or “access to emergency services” or something.

But a boy can dream.

You know, I was just saying the other day to my coworkers that I thought I could make a ton of money by inventing a cell phone breathalyzer, with some kind of emergency override button that will turn the phone on but will also send an "OMG I'M ON FIRE" alert to every emergency employee within twenty miles, so that if you misuse it, you will get THROWN IN THE SLAMMAH for filing a false report.

...I don't know if we have enough prisons, though...

Evil Queen
06-22-2008, 08:40 PM
Your posts are always so long. Do you keep notes throughout the week or something?!

I love your posts, but wonder how so much suck can happen in a single say, so I ask.

Amina516
06-22-2008, 08:58 PM
Yes, that’s right, biccies. It was word #17 on my list of words my friend from the UK used that I had to stop him mid sentence and ask him to define so I could figure out what the heck he was on about. I believe #16 was “chavs”.


I've read that word on a few other posts. What is "chavs"? :)

Evil Queen
06-22-2008, 09:00 PM
I've read that word on a few other posts. What is "chavs"? :)

As per Wiki: [Chav] are mainly derogatory slang terms in the United Kingdom for a stereotype fixated on low quality or counterfeit goods. It commonly refers to those belonging to a youth sub-culture, often stereotypically associated with a low socio-economic class, a striking dress sense and criminal activity.

The American equivalent of a pimped out street punk.

Gravekeeper
06-22-2008, 09:04 PM
Your posts are always so long. Do you keep notes throughout the week or something?!

I love your posts, but wonder how so much suck can happen in a single say, so I ask.

These are my shift reports I'm just emailing them home, taking out the confidential stuff, adding a few words I can't say at work and posting them. -.-

As for the back....I have good days and bad days still. The good days aren't great but the bad days aren't terrible. It's becoming rather impressive how long its taking to heal.

Evil Queen
06-22-2008, 09:12 PM
You need a pretty girl to rub your back for you. :D

Dark Psion
06-22-2008, 09:22 PM
You know, we need to put together a "Customers Suck Employee Handbook" with advice on how to handle real workplace problems.


Bathroom Discoveries

Rule 123.4.5 Someone made a stinky!

The first thing to remember is that you must make sure you are not blamed. This is accomplished by loudly proclaming one of the following:

"Something die in here!"
"Someone light a match"
"OMG the pidgeon's dead!"
"Case of air freshener STAT!"

If you talk long enough, and you have adequate venilation, the miasma should dissapate. If this is an employee bathroom that has been stuck in the disused corner of a storeroom, you should be used to smell by now.

Gravekeeper
06-22-2008, 09:23 PM
You need a pretty girl to rub your back for you. :D

Well if you know any that are willing and within driving distance, speak up. =p But they have to have an IQ of at least 115-120 and know what a motherboard is.

Sliceanddice
06-22-2008, 09:55 PM
giggles you need some cookies
EQ GIVE THE MAN A COOKIE!
also just for fun
I have a IQ of about 135-143 depending on how i tried i am, know what a mother board is just cant fix one.
but sorry not in driving distance

BookstoreEscapee
06-22-2008, 09:57 PM
Damn, now I want some nut-free fruit nuggets...

You need a pretty girl to rub your back for you. :D


Raises hand...

What, I've been told I'm pretty...some days I even believe it...

Not sure what my actual IQ is but I am generally regarded as an intelligent person, 'sfar as I can tell...

Then again, I don't think I'm up for driving across the entirety of the US and Canada...sorry...

Horsetuna
06-22-2008, 10:17 PM
I dont know what my IQ is, but I know what a motherboard is, and I give good backrubs....

I'm only one province over.

HawaiianShirts
06-22-2008, 10:44 PM
Well Oiled Machine

Me: “and your phone number please?”
SC: “Ah, hang on a sec……hmmm…..sorry, I have too many numbers in my head.”

Just do what I do and purge any and all numerical information within 30 seconds of receiving it. Seriously, I could repeat a number back to a caller 9 times but 3 seconds after I hit F4 that information is gone. I couldn’t even tell you the area code. Years of being a CSR have honed my mind into the perfect call information processing system. I can recall anything with unflinching clarity for roughly 30 seconds on a call in exchange for completely losing it within 5 seconds of disconnecting lest it use up precious system resources. My mind is like a steel trap reinforced with a handful of used straws out of the trash bin at McDonalds’.

It's true! My brain did the same thing when I was a CSR! I never really realized it before, but you're absolutely right!

Perhaps that's part of the reason I struggled through my first statistics class in college...

Of course, now it's changed a bit. Now I remember computer model numbers and all of their specs for about four months, which is the amount of time it takes for a computer to enter our inventory for active selling, sell through, close out, and for all customers who bought it to reach the "point-of-no-returns."

Pagan
06-22-2008, 10:48 PM
Your powers combined cannot lower the rate below $59 nor summon Captain Planet. If you even wanted too that is. I always thought he was kind of a knob myself. I mean seriously, what the hell? I don't want the fate of the world resting on the shoulders of a superhero that can be taken out by spraying him in the face with Pam.

I couldn't recall Captain Planet, so I used the great power that is Google. "Captain Planet and the Planeteers" may have been intended to be environmentalist. However, reading the description on Wikipedia, sounded rather pagan to me.

I prefer Captain Caveman....

You need a pretty girl to rub your back for you. :D

Well if you know any that are willing and within driving distance, speak up. =p But they have to have an IQ of at least 115-120 and know what a motherboard is.

EQ, wanna swing by and pick me up? I'm sure he won't mind two pretty girls that are smart and know what a motherboard is! :devil::angel:

Kali
06-22-2008, 11:31 PM
Well if you know any that are willing and within driving distance, speak up. =p But they have to have an IQ of at least 115-120 and know what a motherboard is.

Damn, 2/3 ><

You know what's worse than a partner who doesn't know what a motherboard is? A partner who THINKS he knows what a motherboard is, and everything else to do with computers, when in fact he has the IT ability of a toenail clipping.

I had an ex that thought he was all that and then some with his PC's (he had TWO... this was the 90's, so that made him think he was awesome).. when in reality he called .exe files "exiliary", presumably confusing the word "auxiliary" somehow. You know the type I mean.

Evil Queen
06-23-2008, 12:05 AM
EQ, wanna swing by and pick me up? I'm sure he won't mind two pretty girls that are smart and know what a motherboard is! :devil::angel:

Sure thing. Have your bags packed in ten minutes. :D

monolayth
06-23-2008, 12:53 AM
I know that a mother board it a part of a computer.

sms001
06-23-2008, 01:26 AM
Me: “and your phone number please?”
SC: “Ah, hang on a sec……hmmm…..sorry, I have too many numbers in my head.”


Not tempted just the least bit to chime in with "I only have ten in mine - I just rearrange them all the time.".....? :)


Well if you know any that are willing and within driving distance


Well. That's not gonna open a can of worms.......



often stereotypically associated with a low socio-economic class, a striking dress sense and criminal activity.


A "striking" dress sense?

Oh Wiki, that's either the euphemism or pun of the year.

Dave1982
06-23-2008, 01:40 AM
Inside this box is the grail you seek.

"He chose......poorly....." :lol:

Evil Queen
06-23-2008, 01:46 AM
A "striking" dress sense?

Oh Wiki, that's either the euphemism or pun of the year.

Yes. Striking. As in painful. :lol:

http://www.chavs.org/images/Chavs/Chavs.jpg

jerkface11
06-23-2008, 02:32 AM
The best way to define Chav is to think Ali G. If you've seen the movie though his skinny friend is a better example.

Polenicus
06-23-2008, 05:52 AM
I couldn't recall Captain Planet, so I used the great power that is Google. "Captain Planet and the Planeteers" may have been intended to be environmentalist. However, reading the description on Wikipedia, sounded rather pagan to me.

I remember that show.

Here's the premise: A group fo teenagers with 5 elemental rings can summon a hero with all of their powers magnified, Captain Planet! His purpose? To fight pollution!

His weakness? Pollution!

That's right, boys and girls... he's here to fight pollution, but if he so much as TOUCHES the stuff, he loses all of his powers. AND he had a mullet.

He was quite possibly the gayest superhero from my childhood. And my childhood had Aquaman.

Damien
06-23-2008, 10:18 AM
itd be awesome if you said "We are the Borg, you will be assimilated, resistance is futile and have a nice day" to someone from 867

Samaliel
06-23-2008, 10:29 AM
I thought he was cool, but yeah, when you think about it, it doesn't make sense. But then every episode of Smallville I've seen included kryptonite in one form or another, causing all sort of havoc. Stupidest episode I can remember : kryptonite particles in rocks used in a sauna gave the football team coach pyrokinetic abilities. Makes. No. Sense.

Polenicus
06-23-2008, 11:54 AM
I thought he was cool, but yeah, when you think about it, it doesn't make sense. But then every episode of Smallville I've seen included kryptonite in one form or another, causing all sort of havoc. Stupidest episode I can remember : kryptonite particles in rocks used in a sauna gave the football team coach pyrokinetic abilities. Makes. No. Sense.

Actually, Kryptonite made EVERYTHING super.

Bitten by bugs irradiated with Kryptonite? Super powers.
Get a tattoo using ink with Kryptonite in it? Super powers
Drown in a lake full of Kryptonite? Super powers
Use Kryptonite as nitro in your car? Super powered car

Becks
06-23-2008, 02:45 PM
Me: “Ok, can I have your nam-“
SC: “I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU!!!!”

Sounds like every phone conversation I've been having for WEEKS.

Time for a new cell phone for Becks.

Jester
06-23-2008, 05:46 PM
GK, as for the forgetting the number as soon as you are done with them thing, there is something similar in restaurants.

If you are my table, and you come back in later that day, I will remember you and your order, but the next day, you have been wiped from my mental hard drive. An example:

CUSTOMER: "Hey, I was in here earlier today, remember me?"
JESTER: "Oh, hey there. Weren't you the guy who had the medium rare steak with a side of chipotle mayo and cranberry sauce, and a girlfriend who had the veggie special with extra garlic?"
CUSTOMER: "Wow, that's impressive."

CUSTOMER: "Hey, I was in here yesterday, remember me?"
JESTER: :confused: "Who the hell are you?"

...he has the IT ability of a toenail clipping.

Someone call me? :wave:

Pagan
06-23-2008, 09:38 PM
Sure thing. Have your bags packed in ten minutes. :D

AW, crap, I can't go....I gotta finish making acetaminophen suppositories in lab Wednesday.

crazylegs
06-23-2008, 09:55 PM
I've read that word on a few other posts. What is "chavs"? :)

If you've watched Hot Fuzz think of the chap in the purple tracksuit who nicks the biccies.

AW, crap, I can't go....I gotta finish making acetaminophen suppositories in lab Wednesday.

Wow, some girls get all the fun! :lol:

Pagan
06-23-2008, 10:23 PM
Wow, some girls get all the fun! :lol:

Tell me about it! I'm sorry, but that particular orifice should be "exit only"! :D

Gravekeeper
06-24-2008, 12:34 AM
...he has the IT ability of a toenail clipping.

I use to work with a guy like this. He would try and strike up conversations with people he considered geekly, like myself, about some random story he saw in the Technology section of the newspaper. Basically he'd ramble on and on using every technical term and buzz word he had read in every sentence he could fit it in even though he had no idea what they meant. He would purposely try and find the most obscure computer terms that no person in the real world ever uses in order to make whomever he's talking at finally ask him what the hell he's talk about. Then he can act superior and explain himself which usually just led to the other person going "Well why didn't you just SAY cpu to begin with!?".

He'd take the most innoculous term, like "video card", and turn into the longest term possible "graphical display adapter" then go on about how much "polygon rendering output" it has. Usually using some completely made up term like TPM ( Triangles per minute ). He would keep doing this until finally you had to ask him what the hell one of the retarded terms was. Then he could go into Smug Mode.

God he was annoying.

Eventually he started showing up at work in women's clothing. Then he wanted to get a sex change and started showing up at work dressed like a teen slut at a Hannah Montana concert ( He wore glitter make up. Glitter. and leather miniskirts. ) Then he stopped talking about computers and started talking about dildos however he could work them into the conversation. Then he started terrifying new hires by asking them for tampons or telling them he thought he was pregnant.

Then he got fired.

Then the company 2 floors down from us hired him.

Then he got fired for basically having a skirt so short on his balls were showing.

I live in fear every day in this city that I will bump into him/her/it on the Skytrain.

Kali
06-24-2008, 12:38 AM
"graphical display adapter" "polygon rendering output" ( Triangles per minute )

:lol:

That would have been so annoying, particularly if you overheard him talking to someone else who actually seemed interested. I find it so hard not to say anything in those situations.

Gravekeeper
06-24-2008, 12:43 AM
:lol:

That would have been so annoying, particularly if you overheard him talking to someone else who actually seemed interested. I find it so hard not to say anything in those situations.

Eventually people would get sick of him and try and ignore it. Thats why he had to start preying on new hires. >.>

He was a weird little man. Before he had the epiphany that he was a teenage slut in a man's body he use to basically stalk female coworkers till he was disciplined by management for it. ><

He still did that afterwards to the new hires. You had to get to them before he did and warn them it was a man, baby.

Kali
06-24-2008, 12:48 AM
Wow, I feel so lucky now. My ex was kind of harmless, just really.... overconfident and undereducated. Not quite as bad as a sexually ambiguous pushy faux techno-geek in the workplace :S

depechemodefan
06-24-2008, 01:08 AM
Stupidest episode I can remember : kryptonite particles in rocks used in a sauna gave the football team coach pyrokinetic abilities. Makes. No. Sense. Wait, what ep was that?

Back to fruit nuggets, I got a hold of a strawberry that was 1/2 the size of my head. It was a cool moment.

Eventually he started showing up at work in women's clothing. Then he wanted to get a sex change and started showing up at work dressed like a teen slut at a Hannah Montana concert ( He wore glitter make up. Glitter. and leather miniskirts. ) Then he stopped talking about computers and started talking about dildos however he could work them into the conversation. Then he started terrifying new hires by asking them for tampons or telling them he thought he was pregnant.
Oh, we have patrons who come to the library like that.

lightmylamb
06-24-2008, 07:43 AM
I thought he was cool, but yeah, when you think about it, it doesn't make sense. But then every episode of Smallville I've seen included kryptonite in one form or another, causing all sort of havoc. Stupidest episode I can remember : kryptonite particles in rocks used in a sauna gave the football team coach pyrokinetic abilities. Makes. No. Sense.

Another thing that makes no sense is that a person dies about every week on that show. I don't know why anyone still lived in Smallville, I know if my classmates randomly started dying of supernatural causes I would move. Far Away.

Oh, and about the fruit nuggets! I believe it's Sunkist that makes these little fruit nuggets that come in a tiny juice container. So cute.

sms001
06-24-2008, 10:29 AM
AW, crap, I can't go....I gotta finish making acetaminophen suppositories in lab Wednesday.

Pick-up line of the century!

Samaliel
06-24-2008, 01:49 PM
Wait, what ep was that?
"Hothead", Season 1, Episode 3, according to Wikipedia.

depechemodefan
06-24-2008, 02:46 PM
Another thing that makes no sense is that a person dies about every week on that show. I don't know why anyone still lived in Smallville, I know if my classmates randomly started dying of supernatural causes I would move. Far Away.


That makes me think of Sunnydale (Buffy). Also, Lana Lang has like 9x9 lives. She doesn't die, or at least doesn't stay dead. Maybe the kryptonite rocks make her immortal. Also, maybe the kryptonite rocks make people forget people. Pete who? And warps miles, like in one ep. Metropolis can be seen from a windmill, and other eps it's two hours away, and other eps it's closer.

Also, can't tell who is frutier on that show (trying to get back on topic)

Pagan
06-24-2008, 11:53 PM
Far Away.

How 'bout to Far Far Away? :p:D

Pagan
06-24-2008, 11:54 PM
Pick-up line of the century!

Well, there is this one....guy....actually a better word for him is "freakazoid" in class that I'm sure would try to use it! :eek:

Sliceanddice
06-25-2008, 04:51 AM
Then he got fired for basically having a skirt so short on his balls were showing.

I live in fear every day in this city that I will bump into him/her/it on the Skytrain.

GK you have now tramatized me and caused me to giggle for the next 5 hours

Gravekeeper
06-25-2008, 05:42 AM
GK you have now tramatized me and caused me to giggle for the next 5 hours

You wouldn't laugh if you actually had to witness it. ><