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MystyGlyttyr
09-19-2006, 07:08 PM
Taken verbatim, save for editing important data as shown here.

"J" = other clerk who handles the wedding page.
"State Paper" = state newspaper that has ten times the manpower, money, etc., that we'll ever have.
"Miss SC" = evident. Though she's not a "miss" I like the irony.
"too-wide placement" = When we run an anniversary photo, of course we size it down to about two inches by two inches. So for it to work, both people's faces must be at least within the same half of the photo, preferably side by side. In this case, the woman was seated so her face was in the bottom left-hand corner while the VERY tall man was standing, leaving his face in the upper right-hand corner. On a 5 X 7 vertical picture, there was approximately 4.5 inches of space between the faces. NOT gonna work.

The letter. Usually I use a post-it. I used a yellow 8 x 11 piece of notebook paper this time.

J,

Miss SC e-mailed photo for anniversary announcement to run October 1.

Photo was unusuable because of too-wide placement.

Called Miss SC to inform her and ask if she had another photo.

Miss SC snottily informed me that this was what State Paper also informed her, but they finally relented and let her use it.

I informed Miss SC that was well and good for State Paper but that we could not use the photo and repeated that she would need to send her another.

She repeated matter-of-factly that State Paper was going to use it and insisted we did not need another photo.

Resisted urge to ask her if these were not the droids I was looking for.

Repeated to her that the picture would not do for our paper and could she please send another.

She repeated that she did not need another picture because State Paper could use it and "a paper is a paper is a paper".

Informed Miss SC again that all was well and good for State Paper, but it would not do for us.

Miss SC flew off the handle screaming that all papers are the same and if State Paper can do it, so can we.

Asked her if she was paying State Paper to run her announcement.

Miss SC shrieked that it was irrelevant, and that if State Paper could do it, so could we.

Resisted urge to inform her where she could place State Paper.

Informed her that if she had paid State Paper for her announcement, she could get whatever she wanted in there, but since she was using our free form, she had to obey our rules.

Miss SC shrieked that she could never find another photo in enough time and that the one we had would work.

Informed Miss SC that she had a full week to find a replacement before the deadline was up for her announcement, since she asked for it to be run on October 1.

Miss SC shrieked again that she had nowhere near enough time to find another photo.

Resisted urge to ask her if she or her husband believes cameras can steal their soul.

Repeated request that she procure another photo in accordance with our rules.

Miss SC bellowed that the photo we had would work since State Paper can use it.

Resisted urge to start laughing after thinking of CS.com's "Everywhere Else" thread.

Asked her again to procure another photo and repeated that she had a week to find one.

Miss SC promptly hangs up on me.

Since photo is unusable, I have already deleted it. I have marked the form with a hold request until such time as Miss SC sends us a new photo or informs us to run it without a photo. This will probably become a pain in our collective @$$es. Just letting you know.

CherryCokeKissez
09-19-2006, 07:24 PM
:lol: You just made my day!

Customer Beating Robot
09-19-2006, 07:35 PM
Yeah, she will wait till October 1st and then when she doesn't see her announcement she is going to want a full refund and a public apology. (Yes, I know she didn't pay anything. She is still going to want a refund.)

TonyDonuts
09-19-2006, 08:02 PM
(Yes, I know she didn't pay anything. She is still going to want a refund.)

Will that be the full nothing, or merely a pro-rated discount nothing?

Just askin'

Rapscallion
09-19-2006, 08:05 PM
Reminds me of a comment I put in a catalogue request form. We get all sorts of people thinking we'll be only too happy to send them a catalogue at our expense, but we don't like spending money and cutting down trees if we don't have to.

"Would not tell me name of store to be as a secret that could leak. *** said not to tell anyone in her area that she was starting up a store of this nature. I hate her already."

I have limited fields for inputting information.

Rapscallion

JustaCashier
09-19-2006, 11:51 PM
Well, at least she switched from shrieking to bellowing. That shrieking must've been getting awful annoying! :lol:

*Ducks Mysty's pad of 8 1/2x11 yellow paper*

CrazedClerk
09-20-2006, 01:43 AM
:lol:

I love the narration bits you did. I hate these "endlessly going in a circle" conversations and you know she'll be pissed at you when the photo doesn't run even though you told her umpteen times it wouldn't.

I feel sorry for you man.

Phone Jockey
09-20-2006, 03:57 AM
Ah yes, the blathering idiot who will blame you anyway regardless of what happens. She is too damn lazy to find another pic & doesn't want the "headache." I suppose she believes you love the headache she's giving you.

Argabarga
09-20-2006, 03:58 AM
Will that be the full nothing, or merely a pro-rated discount nothing?

Just askin'

If you would like, we could pay it back in 3 easy installments of nothing, zilch and nada.

Dips
09-20-2006, 11:12 AM
Nothing pisses me off more than customers who think sheer bloodymindedness is going to win them every argument. :angry:

I can't believe somebody plans to marry that.

friendofjimmyk
09-20-2006, 11:17 AM
Wow! Just, wow! What is good for the goose is NOT always good for the gander!

Barefootgirl
09-20-2006, 11:50 AM
Your paper runs anniversary announcements for free? She should be grateful ! I have never heard of a newspaper doing that - hatches, matches and dispatches are private insertions, you have to pay for them, and pay even more if you want photos. Cheeky old bat.

Banrion
09-20-2006, 11:56 AM
hatches, matches and dispatches are private insertions

LOL, I have never heard it phrased quite that way. I love it!!:lol: :roll: :lol: :roll:

gundam40
09-20-2006, 12:17 PM
You know what you need (or want? :P) to do...

Take that photo she sent you, and just cut out a 2" by 2", the CENTER section :roll: :lol: :devil: All she'll get is mostly empty space and if she's lucky, part of her or her husband's face :p

friendofjimmyk
09-20-2006, 02:38 PM
You know what you need (or want? :P) to do...

Take that photo she sent you, and just cut out a 2" by 2", the CENTER section :roll: :lol: :devil: All she'll get is mostly empty space and if she's lucky, part of her or her husband's face :p

I would pay to see that in the paper!

Becks
09-20-2006, 04:13 PM
Resisted urge to inform her where she could place State Paper.
<snip>
Resisted urge to ask her if she or her husband believes cameras can steal their soul.

Oh, Mysty, these two were the funniest!!!!! :spew: :worship: :roll:

MystyGlyttyr
09-20-2006, 04:51 PM
Hmmmm. Well, the story fortunately (or unfortunately for those of us who like blood) ended early, for when I got into work today and opened my e-mail, there was the following verbatim letter (names and numbers edited of course).

Attached is a different picture of Mr. and Miss SC. Hopefully
you will be able to use this picture. I would like this announcement to
run in the Sunday, October 1 edition.

If you should have any questions please call.

Thanks.

Miss SC
*includes her phone number*

"This message is intended for official use and may contain SENSITIVE
information. If this message contains SENSITIVE information, it should
be properly delivered, labeled, stored and disposed of according to
policy."

And attached was, in my opinion, a very nice, perfectly useable photo of the couple.

My added notes on this...

J,

Apparently a week in her brain and mine are very different. Picture has been updated and is prepped for use. Also, this picture is apparently very sensitive, please make a point to reassure it that it is a very good picture and do not belittle it within it's earshot.

Also, she gave us her phone number. Since I obviously dialed the wrong number yesterday and got her twin sister Dementia and not her. And since I didn't realize she wanted the photo run in October 1's paper, although I swore I mentioned this to her several times, she made sure to correct me on it.

Also, "thanks" was important enough to get it's own line. Go us.

Mysty

Ah well. Now we just wait to see whether when J gets in and does next week's society, whether or not the announcement is written to specs or if we will have to do any editing. *hears the Psycho noise*

Spiffy McMoron
09-20-2006, 07:10 PM
Also, "thanks" was important enough to get it's own line. Go us.

At least you got a "thanks". I had her pegged as the kind who wouldn't bother with a thank-you of any sort.