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View Full Version : I've hit rock bottom (rant)


RayvenQ
07-29-2008, 06:30 AM
Well, for the 2nd time.

Backstory: I have a bad back problem, which aside from serious, everyday pain which I firmly believe would knock most normal people out if they had to suddenly bear it, means that I cannot rely on my legs to properly function for any length of time. So I'm physically unable to work, since my legs could give up the ghost any time.

I was kicked out by my father January last year, him, being the muppet that he is presumed me to be lazy (let me tell you, it's really bloody hard to do, well, anything, when you're constantly dealing with mind numbing pain) I spent 7 long and hard months on the streets, before finally lucking out and getting a flat, which, by the way, I wouldn't have been able to afford the furniture if my nan hadn't have died and left me some money.

Now, since I physically cannot work I get state benefits I wish I didn't need it but if I didn't have it, I'd be back homeless, I get my rent and tax paid, and other than that, I get a payment every two weeks to live on, how much is this payment do you ask? Well I'll tell you, it's £45 a week, whoever worked out that someone in my situation needed only £45 a week, they obviously never tried it themselves.

So now, I've hit rock bottom, emotionally and financially, usually I'm fine with never going out except to the shops, but now and then it does hit hard and hurts, I currently have nothing edible, nearly run out on everything else and I'm out of cigarettes, yeah, maybe in my situation I shouldn't smoke, but, they are the only thing thus far that have in any way helped ease or at least distract me from my pain.

I'm just glad my rat has his food, he comes before me food wise.

(Just incase you're wondering, I'm not the kind of person to ask for help from anyone, not even family, I also hate that I have to rely on benefits but I have to accept it as it is. The only thing I let my mum help me with is helping me with my internet bill, that's it)

Know what the funniest thing is? Now that I have my own place, my dad's always asking am I alright and do I need anything, which I always refuse. But, while I was homeless, he never one asked if I wanted to come back or if I needed anything, I'd check in with my mum once a week just to let her know I was alright, he never asked her to pass on any messages at all.

Evil Queen
07-29-2008, 07:20 AM
Ironic, I think.

Well, my dear. Once my dream Hotel is opened, you just have to sit in a cushy chair and look scary. I'll bet you can do that.

Have you considered other things, though? Other ways to work? I think Stephen Hawking is the best example I can come up with; since your back hurts and your legs aren't so great, use your brain for work. Computer work, software design and development, that sort of thing.

RayvenQ
07-29-2008, 07:44 AM
Because of my pain, my mind has become addilpated and stubbornly refusing of education, plus I've ended up with terrible long and short term memory too. Plus it's always had a thing about refusing to let me learn any form of language at all, whether it be foreign or programming

Which is a pity since before my back went onme, I had a career in the military planned out.

As long as the chair isn't too soft and too bigger than me, otherwise I'd look far from harmless trying to get out of the thing :lol:

But, I got cheered up slightly, saw my favourite cashier as I just went to the shop then, just managed to scrape enough change to get some smokes.

Evil Queen
07-29-2008, 04:33 PM
Yeah... did I mention my hotel was going to be smoke free? Sorry...

I figure a nice leather chair will help you look menacing. :D What do you think?

RayvenQ
07-29-2008, 06:56 PM
Yeah... did I mention my hotel was going to be smoke free? Sorry...

I figure a nice leather chair will help you look menacing. :D What do you think?

I'm housetrained, I go outside to smoke. :D

My perfect Menacing chair, Black leather, all angles and squares, no roundy bits and large armrests where I can drum my fingers. Also with a back that rises above my head :D