Please come to my party...but don't wear these colors.

[BookstoreEscapee]

My roommate got an invitation to a sweet sixteen party for the daughter of a friend of a friend. She was only invited because she happened to be there when they were giving invites to a couple other people who were on the guest list from the beginning. The party is in 2 weeks.

The birthday girl (and her parents) are apparently "keeping up with the Joneses" types; they have to do everything that a certain family of friends (with a daughter about the same age) do. Family A redid their kitchen, let's do ours, too. Daughter A went on a cruise last year, well I want that for my birthday, too. But I also want a party. The day before they have to be up at 3am to fly to Florida for the cruise. Yeah.

Anyway, she showed me the invitation. It's fairly simple, a white card with a light gray ("silver") and white border and aqua writing. At the bottom it says:

COLORS NOT TO WEAR:
Silver and Aqua Blue


Yeah, the birthday girl is wearing aqua, and her "court" (she has a court) is wearing silver. (Apparently she saw a dress she liked and instructed them all to go get it.)

My roommate has a lovely dress, not too dressy, not too casual, that she bought a few months ago and has not yet had occasion to wear. It is a geometric pattern of black with 2 shades of aqua. She is not shopping for something new for this party. She's really only going because she just wants to see the spectacle. :devil:

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Methinks somebody's been watching "My Super Sweet 16" too much.

A slow, painful death to the person who came up with the idea for that show, and the people who OK'd it to be put into production.

[Becks]

What Irv said, and I'll add a :wtf:-a-thon for good measure.

[unclejampuff]

For my 16th birthday, I got a John Mayer cd and dinner at Ruby Tuesday's.
Your friend totally needs to wear that dress. Beyond hilarious.

[erasily_ani]

Let's see, what did I do for my sixteenth?

Oh, that's right. My sister had flowers delivered to me in class, her best friend (my "other sister") took me to get my nails done after school, and then my sister's boyfriend and best friend "kidnapped" me from the student government meeting that evening and we had a little party at my favorite restaurant (me, my sister, said boyfriend and best friend, and my three best friends) with Oreo cheesecake dessert.

And it was a great birthday! I didn't need some huge massive thing -- and neither do these girls.

I really hope these parents either support little princess the rest of her life or teach her at some point that money does not, in fact, grow on trees. Otherwise? She's in for a BIG reality check.

[Spiffy McMoron]

A slow, painful death to the person who came up with the idea for that show, and the people who OK'd it to be put into production.

Really? I LIKE the fact that MTV is making fun of pampered rich kids and their softie, rich parents. If nothing else, it'll be a reminder to not do this to my (currently theoretical) children.

My roommate has a lovely dress, not too dressy, not too casual, that she bought a few months ago and has not yet had occasion to wear. It is a geometric pattern of black with 2 shades of aqua. She is not shopping for something new for this party.


It's not two shades of aqua--it's "Calypso" and "Robin's Egg". :devil:

[erasily_ani]

It's not two shades of aqua--it's "Calypso" and "Robin's Egg". :devil:

You're horribly, horribly evil and we love you for it!

[Bloodsoul]

I think when I turned 16 I was told to get a job. ¬_¬

[BookstoreEscapee]

I don't even remember what I did, specifically, for my 16th. Probably dinner with my family, and a family party like every other year. Party probably shared with my cousin whose birthday is 3 weeks before mine.

[CaroPhoenix]

I got a little (13" screen) color tv for my 16th birthday from my Grandma. When my sister turned 16, the same Grandma gave her a color tv too. :D It's a tradition. :lol:

[AnaKhouri]

16...hmmmm...cake, Mom made my favorite dinner, my best friend came over and we went to a movie.

Oh, I got a car from my Dad. 1986 Olds Cutlass Sierra.:D

[CloserToSane]

I like My super sweet 16, it's easy tv to watch.

For my 16th, I went to the industrial war museum in London. Hi I'm a histroy nerd :wave:.

Well I asked to go on that day, but it was the museum or double phyiscs and double biology (though my biology teacher was hot). My teacher bought me chocolate too.

[Kiwi]

Im 25 this year (in 6 weeks) and im getting $250

and thats HUGE since I was 10 I get $100 for my birthday and if I want a party, that comes out of the $100

and thats fine with me!

Seriously I hate to sound old but in my day, my 16th birthday cost ME $180 for 15 of my friends to hang out in the garage..... I had pizza, junk food and games
we all dressed up and had a BLAST!!!

its sad that some people dont realise you dont need to spend heaps of money to have a good time

[tropicsgoddess]

For my 16th, I just went to the mall with my family and bought gifts (my baby sis and I share the same birth month and she's 5 years younger than me). The two of us had a joint party the year before since in my culture, it's a big thing when you turn "bigi jari" (translation: big year) every 5 years. We did the joint party thing and other joint birthday ventures until I moved out a couple of weeks after my 21st birthday.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, Kiwi, you're birthday is 10 days before mine! (October 1. I'll be 33.)

In my family we did family parties every year. My brother and my cousin J had joint parties because their birthdays are a week apart (though my brother's 8 years older than J). My cousin C (J's brother) and I shared because we're 3 weeks apart (I'm 2 years older). Birthday and Christmas gifts ended when you hit 18 (and we're all well over 18 by now).

My brother and I stopped having the big parties with all our friends after we turned 10. After that it was just a family dinner (either out somewhere or my mom would cook whatever we requested) and sometimes we'd invite a friend, but that was it.

[tropicsgoddess]

Hey, Kiwi, you're birthday is 10 days before mine! (October 1. I'll be 33.)

In my family we did family parties every year. My brother and my cousin J had joint parties because their birthdays are a week apart (though my brother's 8 years older than J). My cousin C (J's brother) and I shared because we're 3 weeks apart (I'm 2 years older). Birthday and Christmas gifts ended when you hit 18 (and we're all well over 18 by now).

My brother and I stopped having the big parties with all our friends after we turned 10. After that it was just a family dinner (either out somewhere or my mom would cook whatever we requested) and sometimes we'd invite a friend, but that was it.


My SO is a fellow Libra...October 19. :D I have two little cousins, E and N who both have birthdays in October. E, will be 8 this year on Halloween while his little brother N will be 4 on the 15th. What's really ironic too is that their parents, my fave aunt (dad's little sis) and her hubby both have birthdays in April and they're a year apart (aunt is April 11 and uncle April 13). October isn't a huge month for birthdays in my family, but April is. I'm April 3rd and I have a cousin J who has the same birthday as me and is exactly 6 years younger than me. Then there's my baby sis D, who is 5 years younger than me and her birthday is the 9th of April and a boat load more of our relatives. Joint parties are okay, but after a while they do get old. If I have kids in the future that have birthdays around the same time, I'm not gonna bank on the joint party thing too much. After D and I stopped having joint parties, I've gone out to dinner at a nice restaurant or somewhere like the bowling alley with a small amount of people.

[blas]

Speaking of which....one of my high school friends is getting married soon. They are having a "theme" wedding. A "Redneck" wedding, they call it.

Everyone needs to come in cammo, blaze orange, hunting attire....

Eh....no. They'll live to regret that one day.

[daleduke17]

Speaking of which....one of my high school friends is getting married soon. They are having a "theme" wedding. A "Redneck" wedding, they call it.

Everyone needs to come in cammo, blaze orange, hunting attire....

Eh....no. They'll live to regret that one day.

Is Tom Arnold going to be there with CMT? :p

[Sliceanddice]

16- went on a mall crawl, saw a movie had an embarrassing moment when my firends realised i wasnt a virgin anymore...
yeah thats all

[marasbaras]

I don't remember what I did ... I'll be 42 in a couple months.

Regarding the party ... why show up in aqua? If you don't want to respect the wishes of the host, just don't go.

So many of you bitch and moan when customers can't read signs. Well, the invitation is very clear.

[iradney]

So many of you bitch and moan when customers can't read signs. Well, the invitation is very clear.

Well, the dress may very well NOT be aqua. It's hard to judge without pictures. What is aqua to one person may be a different colour to another. I have red shoes - my boyfriend SWEARS they're dark pink. But they're red.

For my 16th birthday, I had a horror movie fest :) My birthday fell on Friday the 13th, so I felt it was rather apt :D

[sms001]

I think when I turned 16 I was told to get a job.

Topper! Mom took me to the DMV to start in on my license. So I could drive myself to the job I already had, so she wouldn't have to. :)

The DMV folks were fine with the colors I was wearing though.

[powerboy]

When I turned 16, I went out to dinner with the family. Received an electric razor:(. Also received about $50 in cash. Told that I will have to be getting a job soon

[Jester]

I think when I turned 16 I was told to get a job.
When I turned 16...Told that I will have to be getting a job soon

When I turned 16, I GOT a job! :lol:

Oh, I got a car from my Dad. 1986 Olds Cutlass Sierra.

Amusingly, when I turned 16, that would have been a new car. I was 16 in 1986.

I do have to agree with the other poster that said if you think the party is idiotic, don't go.....going with the colors requested not to be worn is like wearing a white dress to a wedding. You may not approve of the wedding (or in this case the super 16 party), but you are still being rude by not respecting their wishes.

[protege]

When I turned 16, I GOT a job! :lol:

When I turned 16...I'd been delivering newspapers for 5 years already :lol:

[Giggle Goose]

When I turned 16...I'd been delivering newspapers for 5 years already :lol:

I started working when I was 14; the youngest age allowed by state law.

I told this to a customer who was complaining that his daughter needed to "start making her own money since she's 18 now." The look on his face was priceless. (BTW I got my first car loan at age 18. I'm 22 and it's paid off).

[Jester]

When I turned 16...I'd been delivering newspapers for 5 years already :lol:

I tried that, but I was literally the worst paperboy ever.

We had three papers in town. I got fired from delivering papers for all three!

I was REALLY bad. If you are wondering what I am talking about, just remember that I don't like mornings and I tend to procrastinate.

Yeah. :lol:

[RetailWorkhorse]

I think EQ and I pretty much ignored our 16th birthday. And every other birthday. We're not really birthday people.

[Shangri-laschild]

Well, the dress may very well NOT be aqua. It's hard to judge without pictures. What is aqua to one person may be a different colour to another. I have red shoes - my boyfriend SWEARS they're dark pink. But they're red.

I would be willing to bet that the color on the invite perfectly matches her dress otherwise she would have fussed.

For my 16th I believe I went to school, got a birthday CD from the band I managed (I got them all up early on Saturday mornings for practice), a friend randomly showed up at one point and made me make a recording on his mini disc player where he asked me how I felt about being 16 now and stuff like that. I can't remember if that was the year I had the party at the bar or not. My mom had gotten a gift certificate so I invited a bunch of friends. Thank goodness my mom left because one of the girls had just gotten her nipples pierced and was showing them to everyone (it was a private party room in the bar).

[jayel]

Regarding the party ... why show up in aqua? If you don't want to respect the wishes of the host, just don't go.

So many of you bitch and moan when customers can't read signs. Well, the invitation is very clear.

I agree. I mean, if it's that important to the girl, humor her and let her have her moment. Your friend is not obligated to go OR buy another dress. If she wants to attend I'm sure she already owns something else suitable.

Why go just to spite someone you don't even know that well? I think it's in poor taste. The polite thing to do if it's that big a deal to you is simply decline the invitation.

[the_std]

I would be willing to bet that the color on the invite perfectly matches her dress otherwise she would have fussed.

I think that iradney was talking about BookstoreEscapee's friend's dress, not the birthday girl's dress. :P

[Shangri-laschild]

I think that iradney was talking about BookstoreEscapee's friend's dress, not the birthday girl's dress. :P

Yeah, I meant that BookstoreEscappee's friend should be able to tell how close the colors are by comparing her dress to the invitation because iradney was saying that they might not be the same colors (the birthday girl's dress and the friend's dress).

[Spiffy McMoron]

Yeah, I meant that BookstoreEscappee's friend should be able to tell how close the colors are by comparing her dress to the invitation because iradney was saying that they might not be the same colors (the birthday girl's dress and the friend's dress).

However, it sounds like (to me) that the aqua--or whatever shade of blue it is--is only a small part of the dress, accenting the black designs. Is this too much? Was the "no silver/aqua" rule written on the invitation to prevent wearing an entirely aqua dress or shirt? Or is there a zero-tolerance policy on aqua?

...

I think I've spent far too much time today thinking about aqua-coloured dresses. :o

[Jester]

Now I don't want people think I'm against enjoying another's misery, especially that of a spoiled bratty teenage princess.

I am most CERTAINLY in favor of THAT! :D

However, if I wanted to watch said brat go haywire, I would attend the party, making sure not wear the verboten colors, and just hang back and watch. Because, my friends, teenagers being what they are, you can just about guarantee that another bratty teenager will, in fact, show up to said party wearing said verboten colors.

Much fireworks and hilarity will ensue. :lol:

But you don't have to be the instigator........

[jayel]

I would like to add that my husband and I had very specific reasons for printing 'Adult only ceremony and reception' on our wedding invitations. Yet two people showed up with a one year old and a six week old anyway. I had worked very hard to create a theatrical atmosphere during the ceremony, including a slideshow. The one year old started crying during the slideshow, just as the procession was about to begin. Every time I think about how it could have been captured on the dvd I get extremely livid. I despise those people to this day.

As a guest, it is NOT your place to ignore the request of your host. They have their reasons. You don't like 'em, don't show. That's all there is to it.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Speaking of which....one of my high school friends is getting married soon. They are having a "theme" wedding. A "Redneck" wedding, they call it.

Everyone needs to come in cammo, blaze orange, hunting attire....

Eh....no. They'll live to regret that one day.

My friend's stepbrother is having a black and white wedding. All the guests are supposed to wear black and(/or?) white.
My friend is planning to comply but she is also planning to add a small bit of bright red somewhere. Probably jewelry.


As for my roommate's dress, I suppose the black and blues are equally represented. (It doesn't match the invitation exactly, though.) I don't know if she's really going to wear it, but I do also think it's pretty ridiculous to try to dictate what every guest can and cannot wear. Personally, trying to control all the guests' wardrobes just adds stress I don't need. Not worth getting all worked up about.

[MystyGlyttyr]

If I had gotten an invitation like that, I would wear solid silver and dye my hair aqua. Just to drive that girl nuts. My reasoning? She needs a little lesson in reality. I mean, come on. A 16-year-old with a "court" who gets a cruise and this huge party and a redone kitchen or whatever else JUST because she wants it?

Now, you might say it's not my right to be the one to shatter her day, but I say I will MAKE it my right. I have never had patience for "princesses," the same type of girls who tried to make me miserable my entire life because I don't give a shit about them or their supposed status. What do princesses grow up to become? Entitlement whores. "I deserve it just because and everyone has to bow to me just because and I'm better than you just because." Nuh-uh. She's gonna learn real quick that she can't get her way just because she wants it. Life sucks, get a helmet. Besides, lessons are easier learned young. She'll get her reality broken soon enough anyway, it might as well be from me.

But then I freely admit to my own bitchdom. You might say that makes me no better than her. I would say you're right, absolutely. But I'm having more fun in life than she is, so I win. :devil:

Besides which, what if the girl who got the invitation was poor, couldn't afford another dress, and all she had was aqua or silver? Should she not go just because she's not rich enough to have more than one dress? That was me, too. If this girl really wanted her friends to come celebrate with her, she wouldn't lay some rule like that. This is just a "lookit me lookit me," not a real party.

[jayel]

I do also think it's pretty ridiculous to try to dictate what every guest can and cannot wear.

She's not dictating what every guest can and can't wear. She's asking them to refrain from two, not even overly-common colors.

Personally, trying to control all the guests' wardrobes just adds stress I don't need. Not worth getting all worked up about.

When you have a party, by all means tell people to wear whatever they want. For our wedding my mom kept asking me what she should wear and I told her I couldn't worry about it and she should wear whatever she wanted.

But if this girl, the host, wants to make an issue of it, that is her choice. Just because you don't understand it doesn't make it any less her right.

For some reason I'm feeling very adamant about this. I guess because I know what it's like to plan my event perfectly and then have my wishes ignored. :(

[kibbles]

I agree with jayel, if someone doesn't wish to respect a request, then it's better they not go. As for 16 year olds getting all this for a party, if their parents want to give it to them and have the means...why should anyone else judge them or begrude them for it?

This girl may not be the "princess" or spoiled type. And ITA again with jayel, no one has a right to ignore a request on an invitation. Ignore the request, ignore the invitation IMO.

[the_std]

Jayel, if the party had a theme that would make it more enjoyable for everyone or was specifically designed to some event that would make it great, I'd agree.

But she wants these people not to wear these colours so that she can segregate the party into her "court" (or the good people) and the other guests (the not-so-good people). Even if she didn't do it intentionally, it's designed to make some people better than others, which is a main contention point, I think.

I'm not saying whether I'm for or against this, just presenting another option.

[jayel]

But she wants these people not to wear these colours so that she can segregate the party into her "court" (or the good people) and the other guests (the not-so-good people). Even if she didn't do it intentionally, it's designed to make some people better than others, which is a main contention point, I think.

Where in the world do you get the idea that she is dividing people into 'good' and 'bad'? She probably has a group of special friends that she wants to share her day with in a special way. How is this any different than a bride selecting bridesmaids to wear matching dresses? By doing this did I imply that my bridesmaids were 'good' and the rest of my guests were 'bad'? If she was trying to make them feel that way, I doubt they'd be invited in the first place.

Ya'll are giving the poor girl too hard a time. My sixteenth birthday was very plain, but I'm not going to begrudge anyone because they are doing something more exciting / more expensive than I did.

[iradney]

I would like to add that my husband and I had very specific reasons for printing 'Adult only ceremony and reception' on our wedding invitations. Yet two people showed up with a one year old and a six week old anyway. I had worked very hard to create a theatrical atmosphere during the ceremony, including a slideshow. The one year old started crying during the slideshow, just as the procession was about to begin. Every time I think about how it could have been captured on the dvd I get extremely livid. I despise those people to this day.

As a guest, it is NOT your place to ignore the request of your host. They have their reasons. You don't like 'em, don't show. That's all there is to it.

And that is why, when TTO and I get married, the best man plays bouncer and anyone that comes with a kid can just turn right around and go back home. And take their present with them. We've already decided our invites will say "Regret no children - THIS MEANS PEOPLE BELOW THE AGE OF 18!!!!"

As for the dress, like I said before, there are so many different shades of colours it's really hard to tell without actually seeing the Bday girl's dress and the attendee's dress. Plus, I've found by putting black next to another colour, it almost tricks the eye into seeing it as a different colour. Or maybe I'm just weird....

[marasbaras]

Those who are advocating going to party in aqua to spite the girl have NO right what-so-ever to complain when customers ignore your rules.

This is her party. OK, she's a spoiled little brat. Fine.

Don't like what she's asking? Don't go. It's very simple.

It's like almost all of you say about store rules and signs ... they so simple, why can't the SCs just follow the rules?

[jayel]

And that is why, when TTO and I get married, the best man plays bouncer and anyone that comes with a kid can just turn right around and go back home. And take their present with them. We've already decided our invites will say "Regret no children - THIS MEANS PEOPLE BELOW THE AGE OF 18!!!!"

You know, call me ignorant but I never imagined people would ignore our request and bring kids anyway. I mean, I just asumed they would follow the explicit instructions on the invitation, considering what an obvious faux pas it would be in polite society to do otherwise. Had I realized this would happen, I most definitely would have asked my friend/ usher to be the Baby Bouncer- he would have been only too happy to do the job!

Actually, if I had it to do over again, I would provide a baby-sitting room for the ENTIRE night, and make it required that while you could bring your kids, they would have to stay in the room. I think that would have helped soem people to attend.

But yeah, we were willing to lose some guests to maintain the atmosphere we wanted. To bad we didn't lose the two that came anyway. :rolleyes:

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

But she wants these people not to wear these colours so that she can segregate the party into her "court" (or the good people) and the other guests (the not-so-good people). Even if she didn't do it intentionally, it's designed to make some people better than others, which is a main contention point, I think.

I'm not saying whether I'm for or against this, just presenting another option.

Well then you're saying many weddings separate guests into "good" and "not-so-good", or maybe "A-list" and "B-list" to put it another way.

I mean, you have the bridesmaids all wearing a certain color and the groomsmen maybe wearing the same colors, same kind of tuxes, etc.

The people in the girl's court are most likely her closest friends and maybe relatives, just like bridesmaids and groomsmen at a wedding. She wants them to be a more "special" part of the celebration. That's just the way it goes.

Those who are advocating going to party in aqua to spite the girl have NO right what-so-ever to complain when customers ignore your rules.

This is her party. OK, she's a spoiled little brat. Fine.

Don't like what she's asking? Don't go. It's very simple.

It's like almost all of you say about store rules and signs ... they so simple, why can't the SCs just follow the rules?

I completely, totally, 100% agree with this.

You can call the girl spoiled, say she's being Miss Thang or whatever else, but it's her party and she has the right to have it the way she wants. If you disagree with what the invitation says, you don't have to go.

Willfully going against the wishes stated in the invitation says a lot more about the person doing it than the person throwing the party, and while I might get a chuckle and a good story out of somebody else throwing the shindig into chaos by showing up in aqua, I personally wouldn't be the one to do it because I feel I'm better than that.

[kibbles]

ITA marasbaras!! Ignoring an invitation is no more different than a SC ignoring a sign. And no one has a right to shatter someone's day because of their own issues with it.

ITA with Irving too, those that make it their right says much more about the person doing it then the person making the request.

[Jester]

Mysty, I adore you, I really do, but I have to say you are wrong on this. Now, let me explain why.

First of all, if this was a friend of yours, whatever you may think of her "princess" attitude, showing up in the colors of the court if you are not in the court is just inconsiderate. Yeah, it's stupid. But a lot of things we do are stupid. But to have our friends contradict the stupid things we like to do or have, well, that makes them lesser friends. Frankly, I don't think you would do this to a friend.

Let's say she wasn't your friend, but for some reason (there are so many possibilities), you got an invitation anyway. By going, you are accepting the invitation. By accepting the invitation, you are basically agreeing to her rules. By accepting the invitation and going, but blatantly flaunting and defying her rules, you are being an inconsiderate and rude spoilsport. I know, I know, you say you are a bitch, and more power to you for it, but this is still not right.

Of course, if you heard about this party and its color restrictions, but were not invited, and crashed the party in the forbidden colors.....well, this would be totally acceptable. "Wait--what?!?!? Jester, you just spent the last few paragraphs talking about what is right and what is inconsiderate. Crashing a party is totally inconsiderate, and clearly not right. How can you be in favor of this?" Simple, really. See, for someone to crash a party, by definition they were not invited. Someone who is not invited has clearly not subscribed to the implied "rules" of the invitation, and is by their very presence rejecting said party rules. If you are rejecting the general rules of the party, well, you are not beholden to follow specific rules of the party either. Sure, party crashers run the risk of being kicked out for breaking party rules or simply being there uninvited, but then, they are not being held to the same standard as invited guests, so wearing some forbidden colors would not be any more inconsiderate than what they have already done (crashed the party). And as a fan of chaos, I am all in favor of party crashing. But if you accept the invite, you ARE expected to act a certain way.

Hopefully this made sense, because there is no way I am going to explain it again! :lol:

[iradney]

I do have a question:

The invite specifies no aqua or silver. Would that include silver jewellry?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Mysty, I adore you, I really do, but I have to say you are wrong on this. Now, let me explain why.

....

Frankly, I don't think you would do this to a friend.

You don't know me very well :p

But honestly, yes, I would. Our general behavior with one another is "If you think the other is doing something stupid, punch them in the head." Knockdown screaming fights are the norm. It might just be a wrestler thing, it might be a guy thing. Almost all of my friends are both, so my worldview is, admittedly, skewed. (I have no idea how to handle another girl and I'm the first to admit this.)

I understand my feelings are possibly in a minority on this, and that's nothing new for me. We probably just have to agree to disagree.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against rules for your own party, within particular reason. No drinking, no babies at the wedding, I can see...a wedding is supposed to be (in most case) a solemn, perhaps even "holy" event, and a certain level of decorum is called for out of respect. I can even accept things like "black tie only" affairs, if people want to be fancy.

It's when you get down to the level of dictating exacting specifications onto your "friends" for your party that I start getting my hackles up. "YOU can NOT wear this, the rest of you HAVE to wear this. You MUST do this. You MUST bring this. You HAVE to behave in this very particular way." Probably why "Bridezillas" drives me up the wall every time I watch it.

It's hard to explain exactly how that sort of behavior makes me react. I've just had one too many people try to jam me into their little niches that now even the slightest attempt at it drives me, to put it lightly, "fucking wild". The end result being that now when someone tries to force behaviors on me for no reason other than their whims, it's my instinct to set the heels in and go against it as hard as possible just to show that they aren't going to control me. Logical, no. Acceptable, probably not. How it is, yes.

Now, having said all of this...there is a HUGE difference between STATEMENT and QUESTION. Maybe a different wording on the invitation..."please try to avoid wearing aqua and silver". (I mean, every black-tie event or wedding event invitation I've seen "asks". I might just be lucky in that respect.) Well, then they're asking politely, that seems more reasonable to me. I'll swing it then. But this one just flat says "DO NOT WEAR THIS." That crosses the line.

And I still wonder about the situation if the girl receiving the invitation was from a poor household and only had the aqua or silver dress and had no way of affording anything else. Should she not be allowed to attend? The answer to that question would reveal a lot to me about the character of the girl throwing the party, and I have a sneaking suspicion that for this girl, the answer would be "too bad, you can't come." Makes me discredit her a little more.

[Jester]

And I still wonder about the situation if the girl receiving the invitation was from a poor household and only had the aqua or silver dress and had no way of affording anything else.

There are two problems with this. First, I have trouble picturing a girl who can only afford to have one dress having it be an aqua or a silver dress, and not, for example, a basic black dress.

The other problem is, to be blunt, I have trouble picturing a princess like the birthday girl in the OP actually having friends who are poor. Seriously, ever see MTV do their "Super Sweet Sixteen" party show in a poor, rundown neighborhood? Or even a working class neighborhood? No? Ever wonder why?

Yeah. Because princesses like that come from wealth and privelege. And while some girls may see that and WANT it, their parents flat out can't afford to give it to them, no matter how much they pout and stomp their feet.

[AdminAssistant]

I truly cannot remember what I did for my 16th, or even what I got. (I got the Small Red Truck the previous January).

But I can say with 100% certainty that there was no dress code. Hell, half of the guests at Big Sis's wedding (who will all be at my theoretical wedding in the distant future) were in blue jeans and cowboy boots (including the groom the instant the pictures were done). I really wonder about people who spend so much time (and money) on something so frivolous.

But I agree that the best thing to be would be not to attend the party, if there is concern that the dress will cause a brouhaha. If Princess's parents hassle your friend about not attending, she can put on a really sad face, "Well, I would have liked to go, but I didn't have a dress that Princess would approve of." At least, that's what I'd do.

[Amina516]

While the word "Court" may sound snooty, that is what they are called. Hispanics (me included!!) often have their "Quniceanera's" or sweet fifteen. There are 14 girls one for representing each year of her life and then the bday girl who is often in something that looks like wedding dress. Some also throw a sweet sixteen this way. They are wearing a certain color, court colors, and most people wouldnt purposely wear the same color if they knew, though Ive never seen an invitation expressly prohibiting that.


Off topic, I also asked for kids under 10 not to present at my wedding. Several people told me I was rude (imagine that!!!!) and 2 showed up with kids anyway....whatever. They didnt ruin it for me at all, but why ignore what I ask?
Also, tons of people showed up who didnt RSVP...guess who didnt have seats? :devil: OTOH, im glad there were so many people that wanted to share my special day with me.

[Lioness Blackfire]

I'm not certain what side I take, except for the following:

I have trouble picturing a girl who can only afford to have one dress having it be an aqua or a silver dress, and not, for example, a basic black dress.

My only dress for quite a while was a violet one, and we wouldn't have had (at the time) the disposable income to just get me a new dress were I invited to a party prohibiting violet.

(Of course, I was a geeky, socially awkward misfit who never would have been invited to such a party, nor would I have considered attending if I were to have been. :p But it's the principle of the thing.)

[Dreamstalker]

Most people, if they only have money at a given time to buy one dress/whatever, get a color they like (my only "interview" blouse is blue). So yes, I could see someone who only owned an aqua or silver/gray dress.

Every dressy event invitation I've seen has phrasing to the effect of "please consider [clothing item] as this is a formal event". If you don't want guests to wear a specific color because it's "reserved" or otherwise not wanted, then give a reason why people shouldn't wear X. If a reason is given (even though I find random demands to not wear a specific color weird), I'll respect it. No reason makes the demander sound petty.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Someone who is not invited has clearly not subscribed to the implied "rules" of the invitation, and is by their very presence rejecting said party rules. If you are rejecting the general rules of the party, well, you are not beholden to follow specific rules of the party either. Sure, party crashers run the risk of being kicked out for breaking party rules or simply being there uninvited, but then, they are not being held to the same standard as invited guests, so wearing some forbidden colors would not be any more inconsiderate than what they have already done (crashed the party). And as a fan of chaos, I am all in favor of party crashing. But if you accept the invite, you ARE expected to act a certain way. So...."I reject your party rules and substitute my own"? AWE inspiring.

There are two problems with this. First, I have trouble picturing a girl who can only afford to have one dress having it be an aqua or a silver dress, and not, for example, a basic black dress. I am dead broke and have a dress (and there I lost another Man Point for Cross-dressing, but I don't care) and it is rusty red in colour, because even though I wear black all the time in t-shirts OR pants I look like HELL in that colour (unless balanced with brown. Don't ask).