Public Schools

[NightAngel]

I'm in the process of getting my youngest son enrolled for school.

I had a terrible time in public school when I was a kid.
My oldest son has had a terrible time in public school.
I've had a terrible time as a parent of a child in public school.
I'm really- REALLY not looking forward to subjecting my youngest to it or dealing with those monsters (meaning the staff) again.

I'm teetering on homeschooling again.

It's insane that I'm this freaked out and scared of the public school system.


:banghead:

[Kiwi]

I attended a year at private (catholic) school and FLOURISHED and did my student exchange at a private school and loved it and had to change public schools three times because of intense and sometimes physical bullying. The school just didnt want to know.

I dont care if I have to cut corners every where else, scrimp, save, second mortage, beg, borrow steal my children are going to private school.

You have to be tough from the begining, demand action be taken if he isnt treated properly, and that goes for teachers as well as fellow students. If nothing else it will show him that you love him, want the best for him and that you have to stand up for you self and the ones you love.

[Ringman]

good luck Night Angel. I hated every minute of public school due to the constant bullying by the students and what made it worse was the staff never cared. One time in high school i was pushed across the classs room and in to some desks and landed face first on the floor, the a****** that pushed me got off scott free and i was given a week of suspension for fighinting.:wtf:

if i had known i was going to be thrown out for a week any way i would have gone after the twit that pushed me.:pissed: :flame:

[NightAngel]

Oh, yes. I've fought the good fight for many years.
I'm that parent that the school administration hates because *I* can't be bullied by them. I don't back down when I know I (my child) is right.
On the flip side I do not allow my children to shirk punishment when they are in the wrong. The problem is that many times teachers/administrators just shove the blame on *somebody convienient*.

Zero tolerance for bullying is BS. My oldest would come home with bruises, etc. Yes, I pressed charges but it shouldn't have happened and it happened repeatedly. I finally told him to knock the crap out of anyone who was knocking the crap out of him. Yes, he got in trouble for it but, gee, the bullys finally left him alone- and got their just desserts. IMHO.
I also stood up and told them that I told him to because I was sick of him being beat up- they didn't like it but they obviously weren't doing anything about it.

I've just found it all to be so tiring.
And really quite sad.

[Ryu]

I DESPISED public school
luckily my parents sent me to private high school which saved my life
do all you can to avoid it!!!

[toolbert]

Jeeze, guess I'll be the advocate of the public school system. Bullies exist in all areas, and I've had one of the best educational experiences in my public schools. Not every area is that great, but you can't beat the diversity of the students at the public level. It really does gear you for dealing with what the real world lets you. In all of my honest opinion, sheltering the child from the harshness of the world is not the best way to go. I know some people who have benefited from both sides of the coin (or should i say all three?). Kids are kids and you just have to teach him/her that they can be the bigger person for not getting involved in the fights and the bullying that these kids can produce. I was picked on, but it stopped once I got a good group of friends and began to study my butt off to get into college. Its gonna happen, but its not the end of the world. I'd rather have my kid adapt to his/her surroundings than just enter the world after school without the street smarts they need.

[Jaden]

I'm 16, and I went to private school/homeschooled all my life, each at different times. Never once set foot in a public school (not as a student at least) and I feel I am all the better for it. I am not sheltered like the stereotype of kids who are homeschooled/private schooled, nor were any of my friends at the private school or any of my homeschooled friends. I have just completed my first year of college in fact, and I happen to know from a friend who does go to public school that they really do hardly teach the people anything there. At least at the public schools here. So, no, not a particular fan of the public school system. :D

[NightAngel]

Kids are kids and you just have to teach him/her that they can be the bigger person for not getting involved in the fights and the bullying that these kids can produce.

If you read my previous post you'll realize that my oldest son WAS the bigger person and tried to avoid fighting, etc. Matter of fact he tried to avoid those people all together. But, alas, they'd find him and beat him up.

One time a kid in his Science class stood up in his chair, jumped onto the table my son was working at- punched him in the face several times and then threw all his work on the floor.

In the middle of class.

Yes, the Science teacher saw everything- did he report it? No.
It was only when I dragged my kid back into the school to demand to know WHY his face was black and blue and how the Hell could this happen DURING CLASS TIME that the teacher finally confessed that, by gum, he had seen everything but didn't feel the incident merited punishment. He had asked the other boy to please behave. :pissed:

I pressed charges against the kid that attacked my son.
My son's last year in public school here I pressed charges against three kids.

I got sick of him coming home bruised up. Then I told him to go ahead and fight back. Those kids didn't seem to understand the Juvenille Officers but they certainly understood when my son finally HIT BACK. It only took one good solid punch to one kid (who wound up on his back on the floor) and a firm head-meets-locker to another before they found someone else to pick on.

Strangely, MY kid got sent to the office. Funny how the other kids didn't get into trouble until I was there demanding to know why my son had been beaten black and blue before the other kids were brought to the office on previous occasions.

You know what I said when called in to speak to the principal?
"Good job son. You did just like I told you."

Of course, then there was much scoffing by the administrative staff. I told them that it was just too darn bad- I wasn't going to allow my son to be anyone's punching bag and since they obviously couldn't control these situations he was just going to do what he must to get by.

It's a sad day when you have to be proud of your kid for going against everything you had previously taught them. It's also sad that it went that far.

Sorry. It's a pretty emotional subject for me.

[sportsmom]

I am so sorry you and the boys are going through this. I am just about at that point with one kid in S's class myself. I think the difference is that the teacher and principal are on our side, but the school system itself is so messed up that there is only so much they can do about it. In this school there really are only a couple of bad apples, but they are horibly rotten.

There's a kid in S's class that picks on everyone, not just her, although she seemed to be his special target at the end of the year. He has never actually hit her, but he has threatened to and has put his fist in her face. The last time he did it, she looked at him and said "You may think everyone is afraid of you, but I'm not and if you put your fist in my face again I'm going to beat the crap out of you." I have told her in no way shape or form is she allowed to start a fight, but damnit she can certainly finish it if she needs to.

If this kid doesn't knock it off this year, the first time something happens, I will tell the teacher and principal and then I'm going to be in the superintendant's office. He will get one chance to have this kid straightened out, because the next time I will take it to the police. S has been recording everything and so has her teacher. What this kid is doing is harrassment and if he hits her it goes to assault. Since ISS and talking to his parents hasn't worked, maybe the police can help.

I hope something works out for you.

[ditchdj]

I hear the schools in the Tampa area are notoriously bad. In fact, I hear that's why they're going around college campuses around the country recruiting teachers. They were at the University of Toledo at last year's job fair up there when I was graduating. I dont know what it is but it seems a lot of public schools dont like to expel kids and send them to alternative schools unless they assault a teacher or have a really bad drug problem or commit a felony. Otherwise they just keep suspending them over and over and over and then they fail. At least that was my experience as a first-year teacher.

[Greenday]

At my graduation party on Sunday, I got a card from my stepbrother that I ABSOLUTELY loved. On the front, it is a picture of a graduation and one of the kids is making a speech. It goes something like this, "Ahem...This place sucked!" And then a bunch of other graduates are cheering him on. If I had to make a speech at graduation, that would have been it.

Another of my really close friends shook my hand after I graduated and congratulated me. He said he wasn't congratulating me for graduating, everyone knew I'd do that. He was congratulating me for making it through that school and not becoming a scumbag.

I'd say a decent majority of the kids I graduated with would fall under the categories of druggies, drunks, a******s, whores, snobs, etc. Let your mind wonder that. In fact, I'd say almost 85%, hell even almost 90% of my class would fall under that category. I wasn't looking foward to graduating because I was sick of my classes. I was sick of those bastards I went to school with. My senior year, my mom told me to relax that year and just take college prep classes. I said no way in hell, that's where the jerks are. I took all honors or avanced placement classes.

Public schooling was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was tortured, tormented, and throughout most of the time, the administration didn't do CRAP about it. My freshman year some stupid junior ripped my shirt in the locker room. To stand up for myself, I wripped his back. He then proceeded to slam me into a locker. When I went to the vice principal, he said he could do nothing since I fought back. More like since he was leaving after the year ended, he didn't care. Oh, and he said that I shouldn't have defended myself, as that's bad...Yea, sure. So, all in all, school SUCKED!!!

[PuckishOne]

I dont know what it is but it seems a lot of public schools dont like to expel kids and send them to alternative schools unless they assault a teacher or have a really bad drug problem or commit a felony. Otherwise they just keep suspending them over and over and over and then they fail.
One possibility: money. Public schools (in my state, at least) get their state & federal funding based on overall head counts and each district's achieving a certain quota of pass-throughs (that is, students advancing to the next grade each year). To slightly over-simplify, the more students the school has enrolled (based on the size of the district, of course), the more money it gets. Because of the way the system is structured, many districts choose to retain their "bad" students until they either become incarcerated or drop out. And, of course, some school districts are better than others, which is why the "bad apple in the barrel" phenomenon seems so much worse in some places versus others.

That said, I was schooled both in public and private (religion-based) schools and found good and bad things about each. IMO, there is more focus on education and achievement in private schools, but, as I said, some public districts are better than others. Regardless, no child should have to endure what yours have been going through, NightAngel. I'm glad that you're fighting for them and truly hope that you are able to make a difference. Sometimes it just takes one person to get the wheels in motion.

[BrassCowboy]

The public school I went to wasn't that bad. Middle school was probably the worst, because everybody is "changing." But once I got into High School, everything was okay. We just sat with our clicks (sp?) and nobody bothered each other. I sure as hell wasn't about to sit down with the redneck table at lunch, Then again, in Texas, every table is a redneck table.

[ZumZum]

I am sorry you are having a hard time. I HATED my schooling as well.

When we moved we were looking at three specific areas because of their public school system (DH hated his public schooling, too).

We are so fortunate to live where we do. Our son is gifted and borderline ADHD (that is what the school psychologist called him at a previous district before we moved. Borderline? WTH?). Anyway, this school district (Spring Ford, PA) is FABULOUS. We are thrilled with the education he is getting. He has emotional support as well as gifted support. He is so freakin smart, it's frightening!! LOL

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[toolbert]

Nightangel,

I guess my schools weren't that bad where I lived (and believe me, it was close to the ghetto and we got all the rejects from all the other schools). Yes, there were fights (from gangs to just people being upset) and each party involved was charged appropriately, but it still didn't hinder my education. What your son went through I've never heard of before. In that case, yes I would have gotten him away from that school in general and held the school responsible for anything that had happened to him if he were my son. The school is partially responsible for everything that goes on in their school (private or public), but at the same time I know that its not a babysitting service. Still, the first time this happened they should of known exactly what happened and when it happened a second time they should have made sure that it didn't happen again. So, yes that school had horrible admin that should have gotten in some kind of trouble for not helping your child (that or the other child's parents believe their kid is an angel and protested to the point that the school sided with them which is shi**y overall). Still, if it just happened to one of your kids, doesn't mean its going to happen to the other kid.

[BunnyJas]

Nightangel,
I'm sorry to hear that about your son. I've known from working in schools and being a student that the administration can really suck. It's really sad when they do nothing to protect the students.

I hate to put a thorn in your side with private schools, but bullies are everywhere. I went to private schools from 4th through 12th grade. Due to the small classroom sizes, social cliques were the norm. If you were not accepted by the group, then you were outcasted. Sometimes the teachers would play favorites in the classrooms. I really only experienced this in juinor high, but even in high school it was tough for new kids to make friends.

[One-Fang]

Is there any possibility of you moving? I know moving house is a really drastic step, and it might even be that you can't afford to move into a better school's district, but have you looked into it?

It reminds me a little of all those 'neighbours from hell' stories. Why don't people just move? Yeah, it's a huge inconvenience. Yes, it's unfair you should have to move if you haven't done anything wrong. Yes, it would be a shame to leave the house grandpa built with his own bare hands. But is the life currently being led in that house really worth it? I don't necessarily mean you specifically, NightAngel, but in general, I reckon a happy and safe family home is worth a whole lot more than the principle of being right, the convenience of staying put, or the homage to grandpa's dreams.

[obod7x7]

Wow Nightangel, I'm sorry your son has gone through such a horrible time in public school. I didn't realize how bad some of them could be. This topic is in my interest because I am going to college to become a high school teacher. This makes me somewhat worried about what I will have to deal with as a teacher.

I went to a public school, but I like to think it is one of the better ones. I came out of the place and I managed to start college without any problems whatsoever. To me, getting kids ready for college is one of the main goals of a high school. Most kids in my area are either going to college or a two-year school, so I believe that the kids who WANT an education can get a good one from my school district.

However, there are idiots everywhere. I was taunted often (I am a huge band nerd) by soccer players (yes...the football players were actually nice) constantly. However, nothing physical ever happened. I believe I am stronger for making it through high school without losing my cool. There were just major "groups" that everyone stuck with. Nobody was really isolated, some group usually came to the aid of a lonely kid. Of course, other groups could be stupid too...as described above, there are the jocks, whores, druggies, etc. My school has a notorious drug problem, but if you're smart enough not to get involved, you don't even notice.

I agree, if there are kids physically fighting in school, something needs to be done to stop it, especially if one kid is getting bullied. I know how it is to be the "dork" in school and I hope to get kids to realize that certain treatment others is not acceptible in society. Then again, who knows what stupid policy the district I work for will have.

[ladodger34]

Another suggestion...

A friend of mine has an ex-girlfriend that had problems with our local school district. Apparently they wanted to hold back her son but she didn't think it was necessary. She might have been SCish (just to try to keep somewhat on topic) but she transferred him to another district. Since then, he does done well. Her daughter also attends the school as well.

In her instance, the better private school are also in the same area as the schools her kids are at now. Either way, she has to pay for gas. At least in this instance, she doens't have to pay for the school too.

[NightAngel]

I appreciate the understanding. Yes, I know my youngest son may have a totally different school experience- maybe he'll be happy. That remains to be seen.

I didn't mean to mislead you guys with my previous horror stories about my eldest boy. Currently- his situation IS different. Much different. Here's why:

Last year he and his Dad decided they wanted to have a go at living together. I said, "fine, you're both old enough now to make this decision." Anyhoo~ his Dad WORKS for the school district he goes to school in. It's a relatively well-to-do district- smaller classes, more teachers, less kids getting away with stuff they shouldn't be. Plus, his Dad works for the district- yes, it makes a world of difference.
As they say, it isn't what you know- it's WHO you know.

He's actually having a decent time of it now. He has quite a few friends (mostly girls although he won't admit it! LOL!) and is averaging A-B level grades. No, he doesn't 'like' school per say but at least it's tolerable and he's happier now.

Neither of us have forgotten the Hell we went through.

My handsome son... all his friends are girls... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/Nokomys/cancan.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v693/Nokomys/stormsmall1.jpg

[thegiraffe]

Hey Nightangel - how about going to the local news? The school doesn't seem to give a flying rat's behind about your son, and I'm sure you're not the only one upset about the whole thing. In my area (central FL), the local news THRIVES off this kinda stuff, and people tend to step up and get things taken care of. Power in numbers....

And your son looks like one of my friend's younger bro...cute!

[Broomjockey]

I got kinda lucky. For grades 1-6, I went to the school where my mom was the librarian, so not a lot went on there. Only problem was if I ever stepped out of line I caught it twice, once at school and once at home. Jr. High was a bit worse, more teasing, no actual fighting. One kid challenged me to a fight, so I picked a place and just never showed up.
High School was really bad at first, tons of name-calling and some shoving and such, but all out of sight of my teachers. They all knew it was happening, but couldn't do anything about it unless they saw it. Which is why they looked the other way when I finally snapped on the lead bully in gym class. I tripped him to the ground and put one good solid boot to him. I then proceeded to ask the teacher to go run laps (standard punishment in gym) and he said to get back in line. Oddly, noone ever said anything to my face again.