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Gravekeeper
10-26-2008, 05:45 PM
Bit slow this week. Painful, but slow.



Relationships

SC: “Great, thanks buddy.”

You presume far too much about our relationship. I am not your buddy, pal, friend, comrade, compatriot, tomodachi or amigo. This is a one sided relationship which you have progressed to the friendship stage over the course of 45 seconds. At this rate you’ll be digging through my trash for items to add to your Gravekeepr Shrine by the end of the week before you break into my house and steal my cat and my underwear so that you may alternately sniff both in hopes of partaking of my luscious scent.

I smell like vanilla chai~


867

Me: “Ok, and the ID number please?”
SC: “It’s 2367…uh….76….wait, no, 67….um. Let me spell it again.”

Yes, by all means, please spell the number for me again. Best part was it sounded like he had CNN on in the background. I can’t imagine CNN world news being overly popular in Nunavut unless it’s part of some sort of weird drinking game. Take a shot every time the anchor uses a word you don’t understand, can’t pronounce or can’t count?



Nah

SC: “What time is the clinic open this morning?”
Me: “8am.”
SC: “For adults?”

No, just children and animals mainly. Hell, just drive up and abandon them on the front steps. We’ll get to the them eventually if they don’t wander too far so you might want to tie them to something. Don’t worry, we leave out kibble and a water dish.


Yes, I know

Me: “Alright, I’ll page them and let them know.”
SC: “Great! You are spectacular!”


Yes, I know. <preen>. So good of you to notice. Know that his royal majesty is pleased that his eminence has grown to such a scale that it can be detected across a phone line. You have done well, peasant. We are pleased and shall reward you and your kin with a paltry sum and perhaps a goat. Sheep if you’re unmarried. They’re better for the long, lonely, cold winter nights. So very cold.



Fantasies

Alright, despite many stereotypes about male fantasies to the contrary, we do not actually want women just falling into our lap. So if for some half baked reason you insist on standing up on a moving bus right before a sharp turn, please hold on to something. Otherwise you will go flying across the bus and land on top of me. A scenario which is not even remotely sexy. It’s actually more surprisingly painful.



Questions

Me: "Good evening, <company>"
SC: “Uh, what is this?”
Me: “This is <company>”
SC: “Uh….like, what do you do?”
Me: “We service heavy machinary.”
SC: “uh…so why are you still open?”

Why are you still calling? Not that answering that question will answer your question. Because I’m not at a payphone in downtown Vancouver at 4am, shirtless, clutching a half empty 2 litre of Road Warrior and blissfully unaware of my severe head wound. I’m merely here because I’m being paid to be here. Which is much more than I can say for yourself.


Accuracy

SC: “Where am I calling right now?”
Me: “We’re in Vancouver here though we cover all of North America.”
SC: “Really? Wow! What’s the weather like!?”
Me: “Grey.”

Well, we do aim for accuracy and I am committed to upholding this standard.


Uncle Vick!

Me: “Good evening, <client>.”
SC: “Hi, my name is Vick.”

Uncle Vick!

Me: “Hello, Vick!”
SC: “..uh, hi. You guys really kicked the heck out of me over building the spaceships.”
Me: “You know we don’t build spaceships, right?”
SC: “Uh, yeah.”
Me: “So than why are you calling us about spaceships?”
SC: “Um, well you guys really kicked me around about them. I just want to be left in peace.”
Me: “…..”
SC: “I fear for my family and my grandkids if I ever have grandkids. I just want to be left alone.”
Me: “Well we can leave you alone.”
SC: "Yeah?"
Me: "Yep."
( At this point I hit my disconnect key. =p )

Uncle Vick really seems desperate for us to pay attention to him. Poor Uncle Vick, he just wants to be loved. He probably lives out of a van, has 3 kids with 3 different women and at least 2 restraining orders against him. We, the <client>, are his last hope of anyone ever paying any attention to his existence. I mean if you can’t turn to the <client> for love, who can you turn too? That’s us alright. Black suits, sunglasses, earpieces and of course, hugs.




Prayer Warrior

Ok this happened this morning and I'm still scratching my head about it. I was on my way home from work, thanking the small collection of random gods I pay lip service too that I was finally free of the insanity. When this woman got on the Skytrain. Nothing amiss about her. Perfectly normal. Then she sits down and starts singing a hymm. Loudly and horribly out of key. She's singing it AT the two guys across from her. Now, these two guys are Sikhs, so they look at her like "WTF?!" as she warbles on about Jesus. After a minute of shock, they ignore her and resume talking.

At which point she screeches "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" at them. Without even breaking her song I might add. Just "The Lord is ~ SHUT THE FUCK UP! my shepard~". So they're both looking at her again like "WTF woman?!". Their puzzlement wears off again and they try to ignore her again. So she once again breaks song for just a moment to screech "SHUT UP I'M SINGING TO GOD!". So these two guys are basically deer caught in the divine headlights now.

Then the guy in front of me, whom I had mentally labeled a douche nozzle the second he walked on the Skytrain, decided to prove me right by laughing and cheering her on. She took this as encouragement and kept on butchering whatever melody it was she was attempting to sing.

Seeing she had a....supporter, she came over to sit next to him after finishing her...aria, and thus right near me. Much to my alarm. She begins talking to douche nozzle about the glories of Jesus and douche nozzle begins looking increasingly uncomfortable about the fate he brought down upon himself. Than she starts rambling about how no one should ever swear, ever, EVER and if you truly believe in God you will never, ever ever ever swear. Despite her screeching SHUT THE FUCK UP 2 minutes ago. I guess it doesn't count on Sundays. Then she starts rambling about how she doesn't understand why people get offended when she sings in their faces about God

Douche nozzle actually tries using reason on her and explains that not everyone is the same religion as her so some people might be offended.

She actually looked at him, utterly puzzled, and said "Oh. Really?".

><



Immune

SC: “Sorry if my voice is hoarse. I’ve been up all night reading my mail.”

I’d make fun of you but I don’t think anything I say could possibly make your existence any sadder then you’ve already revealed. My pitiful verbal barbs would not be able to penetrate the dull haze of failure and sadness that already hangs around you. So congratulations, you are perhaps one of the few people walking this earth whom I cannot bring harm upon. For the dark shroud that hangs off your shoulders, smothering all light and happiness, is proof against my venomous fangs.




Uncle Vick....again.

Me: “Good evening, <client>.”
SC: “Hi, my name is Vick.”

Uncle Vick!

Me: “Hello, Vick!”
SC: “…uh, hi."
Me: "What can I do for you?"
SC: "I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried every level of the police and agency you said to call and no one will help me. I don’t what to do anymore!”
Me: “…….”
SC: “…....hello?”
Me: “Hi.”
SC: “I don’t know what to do anymore. Can you help me?”
Me: “I told you we don’t have any jurisdiction over this in Canada. You need to speak with the local police.”
SC: “You can’t help me?”
Me: “Nope.”
SC: “You guys have all the advanced technology though. Can’t you keep an eye on my parents and my kids and all my little grand kids?”
Me: “We have no jurisdiction to do any of that in this country.”

And even if we did, wiretapping and surveillance is really more of a Homeland Security sort of thing.

SC: “I don’t know what to do anymore! Can’t you help me?”
Me: “Nope.”
SC: “There’s nothing you can do?!”
Me: “Nothing.”
SC: “Ok, well.....thanks for your time. <sigh>”
Me: “Bye bye.”

Poor Uncle Vick. He sounded like his world had been crushed. No one will listen to him. His entire family is in peril. Both the real and imaginary parts of it as well as any as yet non-existent members of it which may or may not be born in the bleak dystopian future. They’re all in dire peril. From what…..I really don’t know. Up until this point Uncle Vick seemed under the impression that <client> was out to get him due to his elaborate spaceship plans. So based on previous calls I can only assume he’s calling us to ask us to protect him as his family from us over the spaceship which he wants us to let him build for us.

This plan seems like it has more then a few flaws.



Relationship Issues

Me: “Ok, are you in custody?”
SC: “No, my boyfriend is.”
Me: “Alright, what’s he in custody for?”
SC: “They didn’t tell me. But I assume drunk driving.”

If your girlfriend can immediately name the felony she thinks you’d most likely be arrested for you just might have a problem.



Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

SC: “I’m being harassed because I made a complaint about harassment. The women, or one woman, in the office whom I can’t name.”
Me: “…alright, unfortunately I cannot assist you as there is no one on after 10pm.”
SC: “You can’t assist me? IS THAT BECAUSE I’M NOT IN BC?!”
Me: “..no, there’s just no one in after 10pm-“
SC: “Harassment doesn’t end at 10pm!”
Me: “You’ll have to call back in the morning-“
SC: “Is it because I’m not an office woman!?”

Ok, time out. We’re drifting into “I SNIFF MARKERS” territory and I think we need to just back up, put the cap back on, and take a deep breath of clean, rational air. Now, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about or what you want from me but based on our short conversation I’m utterly convinced I lack the credentials to help you with your…issues.



Critical Thinking

SC: “I’m looking at your website and there’s a little banner that says there’s a sale running for 30-50% off?”
Me: “Yes.”
SC: “What items does that apply too?”
Me: “The sales prices should be on every item below the regular price.”
SC: “Oh, that’s the sales price? Well, that’s misleading.”
Me: “….”
SC: “Well, that’s all I wanted to ask. It wasn’t really clear.”

Let me see if I have this right: There’s a banner that says everything is on sale and everything has a price, in giant red text that says “ON SALE PRICE” right below the regular price and this is somehow misleading and unclear? I’m not sure I follow. But then again I don’t have the critical thinking skills of livestock. Hell, not even that. If you put pig food next to a pig, he eats the pig food. He doesn’t leave the pig pen, walk up to the farmer’s house at 6am, bang on the door and ask “Hey is the pig food in the pig trough in the pig pen for us pigs? Because leaving the pig food in the pig trough in the pig pen wasn’t really clear. It’s kind of misleading so I’m not sure.”

Now if you had at least the critical thinking skills of swine we could have avoided this call entirely. So please, in the future, could you try to aspire to the mental level of a domesticated farm animal at the very least? It would help us both out immensely.



Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Part Deux

SC: “I’m an injured person! I’ve been into every business!”
Me: “Unfortunately, I’m just their afterhours service-“
SC: “I’m just an injured person! PEOPLE ARE BEING INJUROUS TO ME OVER THE PHONE!”

Somehow I doubt that. Trust me. I have tried long and hard to injure people over the phone and it’s just not possible despite all of my efforts to the contrary. Believe me when I say if ever a method is found to inflict harm over a phone line I will be the first to know about it.

You, however, will be the second to know about it.

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 05:46 PM
If your girlfriend can immediately name the felony she thinks you’d most likely be arrested for you just might have a problem.

Yer, that's never a great sign!

Horsetuna
10-26-2008, 05:53 PM
wonderful as always Gravekeeper. Have a dr. pepper on me, poor thing

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 05:55 PM
At this rate you’ll be digging through my trash for items to add to your Gravekeepr Shrine by the end of the week before you break into my house and steal my cat and my underwear so that you may alternately sniff both in hopes of partaking of my luscious scent.

I smell like vanilla chai~


.

you do realize you just planted an idea for the stalkers to go through with... right...

though seriously... how do you put up with these people?

Evil Queen
10-26-2008, 06:15 PM
Tell me, does anyone else envision a very very fluffy white cat when Gravekeeper preens?

As for the Overly religious singing nut.... it's the normal looking ones you should really fear.

Irving Patrick Freleigh
10-26-2008, 06:51 PM
Tell me, does anyone else envision a very very fluffy white cat when Gravekeeper preens?



A very very fluffy white cat smelling of vanilla chai, evidently.

Parrothead
10-26-2008, 06:58 PM
You presume far too much about our relationship. I am not your buddy, pal, friend, comrade, compatriot, tomodachi or amigo.

How about "Kemosabe"?


We, the <client>, are his last hope of anyone ever paying any attention to his existence. I mean if you can’t turn to the <client> for love, who can you turn too? That’s us alright. Black suits, sunglasses, earpieces and of course, hugs.


You work for the MIB! That is so cool!

Soria
10-26-2008, 07:31 PM
First of all, I'm pretty sure fangirls around the globe have dibs on your undies Gravekeeper, secondly, why on earth to do you smell like Vanilla Chai?

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 07:44 PM
First of all, I'm pretty sure fangirls around the globe have dibs on your undies Gravekeeper, secondly, why on earth to do you smell like Vanilla Chai?

I don't know, but I'm suddenly missing my (Vanilla Chai) shampoo.

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 07:46 PM
I don't know, but I'm suddenly missing my (Vanilla Chai) shampoo.

Have you still got all your undies though?

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 07:47 PM
Have you still got all your undies though?

Uhm.....*Checks* ....yeah.

AdminAssistant
10-26-2008, 07:49 PM
If your girlfriend can immediately name the felony she thinks you’d most likely be arrested for you just might have a problem.

From NCIS: "Love is never having to read her her Miranda rights." (I think that's Shangrila's Child's siggy now).

Wait-a-minute - shouldn't that be Article 31's instead of Miranda? hm.

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 07:50 PM
Uhm.....*Checks* ....yeah.

So who's he stealing keks from to throw the fangirls off the scent?

lupo pazzesco
10-26-2008, 07:50 PM
mmm...chai...

<Sigh> Now I have to wait to get off work to get home to make myself a cup of vanilla chai.

Damn...

Giggleworthy as always, and I'm bored enought at work to risk a write up to spend time on CS.com for a Gravekeeper post.

I realize I'm a sad, sad individual, but I don't care!!

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 07:51 PM
So who's he stealing keks from to throw the fangirls off the scent?

*Shrugs*

Do you still have YOUR Undies? And how do we know if it's him or the Garden Gnomes?

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 07:52 PM
Have you still got all your undies though?

Uhm.....*Checks* ....yeah.

So who's he stealing keks from to throw the fangirls off the scent?

I just realized... I'm missing a pair... hmm... that might explain it :p

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 07:53 PM
*Shrugs*

Do you still have YOUR Undies? And how do we know if it's him or the Garden Gnomes?

I do, I think I might have noticed the vanilla scented canadian entering my house this afternoon and pinching my underwear, but that's just supposition! :lol:

Ah, gnomes are wiley creatures, sitting there with their fishing poles then BAM you lose your pants!

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 07:56 PM
Actually, that quite explains where my pants got off to if you consider that Flea-Bit's not around.

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 07:56 PM
BAM you lose your pants!

hey.... I didn't have anything to do with it...
...oh wait... you hadn't actually accused me of something..

...well that makes me look kinda guilty...

...i'll be hiding in my corner now

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 07:59 PM
hey.... I didn't have anything to do with it...
...oh wait... you hadn't actually accused me of something..

...well that makes me look kinda guilty...

...i'll be hiding in my corner now

....you did something, didn't you?

Gravekeeper
10-26-2008, 08:05 PM
All my undies are accounted for...I think....and I have no one's undies but my own. ;p

As for vanilla chai....I admit nothing.

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 08:05 PM
....you did something, didn't you?

shhhhhhhh

no one's supposed to know about that :p

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 08:08 PM
As for vanilla chai....I admit nothing.

Oh, SNAP, I knew I should have put it in the safe!
shhhhhhhh

no one's supposed to know about that :p

*Tattles*
EQ! SMILEY'S DID SOMETHING! AND HE WON'T LET ME PLAY TOO!

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 08:09 PM
EQ! SMILEY'S DID SOMETHING! AND HE WON'T LET ME PLAY TOO!

Read the 'confessions' thread. ;)

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 08:10 PM
Read the 'confessions' thread. ;)

thank you... I knew at least one person would get the reference :p



EQ! SMILEY'S DID SOMETHING! AND HE WON'T LET ME PLAY TOO!

and sure, if you want to play that game I think I can play it at least one more time :devil:

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 08:15 PM
thank you... I knew at least one person would get the reference :p

Well, the massive amount of time I've spent here over the last few days (hell, who am I trying to kid, the masve amount of time I *always* spend here) it's not too much of a suprise!

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 08:19 PM
and sure, if you want to play that game I think I can play it at least one more time :devil:

Stop and consider that I was EQ's plaything before she got her hands on a boyfriend.

Masochistic is just one of my flaws. :devil:

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 08:20 PM
Masochistic is just one of my flaws. :devil:

From vanilla to Masochism in 28 easy steps! :lol:

NightWatch
10-26-2008, 08:22 PM
I love those religious nuts who stand around in public ranting about their half-brained theories. Last time I actually saw one, it was downtown around 10 or 11 at night and the dude got tackled by a cop. I giggled.

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 08:23 PM
Stop and consider that I was EQ's plaything before she got her hands on a boyfriend.

Masochistic is just one of my flaws. :devil:

oh good, we'll get along just fine :D

so when do we play :devil:

Broomjockey
10-26-2008, 08:24 PM
BAM you lose your pants!

Now, how scary is it that I had these two pictures just sitting on my hard drive?

crazylegs
10-26-2008, 08:26 PM
Now, how scary is it that I had these two pictures just sitting on my hard drive?

Knowing your predilictions Broom, I'd say 'Not Very' :lol:

smileyeagle1021
10-26-2008, 08:31 PM
Now, how scary is it that I had these two pictures just sitting on my hard drive?

Remember, No Pants Day is always the first Friday in May!

Knowing your predilictions Broom, I'd say 'Not Very' :lol:

I just knew I couldn't be the only one :lol:

RetailWorkhorse
10-26-2008, 08:44 PM
From vanilla to Masochism in 28 easy steps! :lol:
*Takes a bow*
oh good, we'll get along just fine :D

so when do we play :devil:

Probably next Summer when I move in and get a job with EQ.

Broomjockey
10-26-2008, 08:51 PM
Remember, No Pants Day is always the first Friday in May!



I just knew I couldn't be the only one :lol:

You people are mean. :p

Parrothead
10-26-2008, 09:07 PM
What is the second picture from, anyway?

Broomjockey
10-26-2008, 09:10 PM
It's a panel from a superman comic. I found it on www.superdickery.com aka "Superman is a Dick"

Evil Queen
10-26-2008, 11:27 PM
You people are mean. :p

Being mean to you is the best high on the face of the planet. :p

Snowbird
10-27-2008, 01:43 AM
Tell me, does anyone else envision a very very fluffy white cat when Gravekeeper preens?
Actually, I always saw him with a wiry little devil of a tiger cat, that whole lean, mean mentality.

Soulstealer
10-27-2008, 05:03 AM
Now, how scary is it that I had these two pictures just sitting on my hard drive?

A tarsier! I'll be squealing in a high pitched girly way.

Jester
10-27-2008, 05:11 AM
Bit slow this week. Painful, but slow.

Yes, quite. I know it's not your fault, but definitely not one of your better postings.

That being said, it was still better than the vast majority of posts on the site. :lol:

Alright, despite many stereotypes about male fantasies to the contrary, we do not actually want women just falling into our lap.

Um, speak for yourself! If she's reasonably attractive, I actually very much do want that, thank you very much! :eyewaggle:

Aislin
10-27-2008, 07:35 AM
is you can't just read the post, you have to read the posts after. Thank you all btw. Now i have a mental picture of GK wearing Retail work horse's underpants (it is written in black magic marker on the tush) holding a kitty and stroking the cat with a head set on in an igloo. proof I have not had enough sleep.

Fenrus
10-27-2008, 07:37 AM
Aislin... at least you envisioned GK wearing underpants...

It's a step up from most of the other fangirls

smileyeagle1021
10-27-2008, 08:00 AM
Aislin... at least you envisioned GK wearing underpants...

It's a step up from most of the other fangirls

Damn you Fenrus... now my mind just went somewhere it shouldn't :cry:

Gravekeeper
10-27-2008, 12:18 PM
Yes, quite. I know it's not your fault, but definitely not one of your better postings.


I can always count on you for blunt honesty ;p

But yeah, honestly I didn't get much material till the weekend and its been a really shitty couple weeks. Weds and Thurs night we're really dead for some reason. I probably shouldn't complain I suppose....

But due to an accounting glitch at work I didn't get paid for over two weeks, so I was wearing out pretty bad this week. ( Don't ask, it was fantastically stupid and I think I was down to $11 to my name by the time they finally sorted it out. ). Basically my last payday was the 8th and I just got it on the 23rd.

Not much in ye old savings after being off for work for two months after tearing my back up there back in the spring. I can stretch a buck like a mofo but a month between paycheques is harsh. -.-

Misanthropical
10-27-2008, 01:56 PM
Immune

SC: “Sorry if my voice is hoarse. I’ve been up all night reading my mail.”

I’d make fun of you but I don’t think anything I say could possibly make your existence any sadder then you’ve already revealed. My pitiful verbal barbs would not be able to penetrate the dull haze of failure and sadness that already hangs around you. So congratulations, you are perhaps one of the few people walking this earth whom I cannot bring harm upon. For the dark shroud that hangs off your shoulders, smothering all light and happiness, is proof against my venomous fangs.

I did something similar not once, but twice. I had to call down to the office of the property manager because our fridge decided to go to fridge heaven.

Me: Yeah, our fridge isn't keeping things warm anymore.

Her:....

Me: Do you think you could have maintance swing by and fix it?

Her: OH! You mean it's not keeping things cold.

Me: Yes, sorry about that.

I have done that TWICE! but to be fair it was early in the morning and I hadn't had coffee yet. I promise, I'm not as stupid as my calls sounded. :o

Shangri-laschild
10-27-2008, 02:21 PM
From NCIS: "Love is never having to read her her Miranda rights." (I think that's Shangrila's Child's siggy now).

Wait-a-minute - shouldn't that be Article 31's instead of Miranda? hm.

Well it's very important advice! And I'm not sure what the difference between the two is.

As for vanilla chai....I admit nothing.

Hm. I wonder if it's the same reason I smell like vanilla chai.

Slytovhand
10-27-2008, 02:51 PM
Mr GK... love the pig analogy...but I have to ask... just how long does it take to come up with those things??? (and what's the mental imagery you reject before you type... :p)

Also - Uncle Vick... why not just tell him that those people who have been watching over him are actually keeping him safe from the bad guys? They are under strict instructions not to talk to him, because that would mean they were interfering - which is strictly forbidden. If those guys interfere, then the bad guys would be allowed to as well... Now - go back to the spaceship design. They'll be back to you when the plans are fully done, and they'll contact you via an inscription on a banana.

Just might get him to leave you alone.... (presuming you want him to... after all, he does give such entertainment..)

Gravekeeper
10-27-2008, 03:42 PM
Hm. I wonder if it's the same reason I smell like vanilla chai.

Maybe, maybe not...


Mr GK... love the pig analogy...but I have to ask... just how long does it take to come up with those things??? (and what's the mental imagery you reject before you type... )

I set aside writing time per shift. I have to give myself ample time to formulate my hatred. I always have to figure out what I can get away with, hehe. Which leads to odd conversations with the floor manager like:

Me: "Hey, do you know what freeballing means?"
FM: "...what? No...."
Me: "Hmm, hey CW, do you know what freeballing means?"
CW: "......hahahaha"
Me: "Ok, good."



Uncle Vick has been calling almost every night around the same time. He's becoming a regular. He's been at it for two weeks now and he's usually the first call I get when I come on shift. ><

smileyeagle1021
10-27-2008, 04:03 PM
Me: "Hey, do you know what freeballing means?"
FM: "...what? No...."


I thought everyone knew what freeballing was...

or is it just me.

RetailWorkhorse
10-27-2008, 04:13 PM
is you can't just read the post, you have to read the posts after. Thank you all btw. Now i have a mental picture of GK wearing Retail work horse's underpants (it is written in black magic marker on the tush) holding a kitty and stroking the cat with a head set on in an igloo. proof I have not had enough sleep.

.....that would have to be a fairly tight squeeze. :D

I thought everyone knew what freeballing was...

or is it just me.

Haven't a clue, care to enlighten me?

smileyeagle1021
10-27-2008, 04:15 PM
Haven't a clue, care to enlighten me?

unless I'm mistaken it's the same as going commando...

Shangri-laschild
10-27-2008, 04:43 PM
unless I'm mistaken it's the same as going commando...

Yup

Maybe, maybe not...

If I'm right, then you are correct on the smelling good thing

RetailWorkhorse
10-27-2008, 05:11 PM
unless I'm mistaken it's the same as going commando...

Oh.......*Snickers*

Oh, dammit, suddenly I have "Free Falling" in my head and it's coming out as "Freeballing".

Yes, I'm screwed up. Why do you ask? :D

Jester
10-27-2008, 05:11 PM
I can always count on you for blunt honesty

Well, duh. It is one of my more endearing and notable characteristics.

That being said, it's not your fault. As you noted, and I agree, you really just didn't have much material to work with. And frankly, I appreciate you not making up filler just to make the post better. I appreciate YOUR honesty in only posting the shit that happens to you. It would be easy to do otherwise. One of many reasons I respect you, sir. :salute:

smileyeagle1021
10-27-2008, 05:56 PM
Oh.......*Snickers*

Oh, dammit, suddenly I have "Free Falling" in my head and it's coming out as "Freeballing".

Yes, I'm screwed up. Why do you ask? :D

I just did one worse... I just had the though, gee I wonder what the music video to that would be :eek:

Gravekeeper
10-27-2008, 06:52 PM
If I'm right, then you are correct on the smelling good thing

Yes, it does smell delicious, doesn't it?


One of many reasons I respect you, sir.

and back at you for the being honest with your opinion. Plus, always saying exactly what I'm about to on every Off Topic thread. =p

I have enough crap at work without needing to make stuff up, hehe.



Oh, dammit, suddenly I have "Free Falling" in my head and it's coming out as "Freeballing".


That IS a song (http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/tunes.asp?Var=F). Thats where I originally learned the term years and years ago. >.>

Shangri-laschild
10-27-2008, 07:13 PM
Yes, it does smell delicious, doesn't it?

One of the better vanilla smells for sure (though I tend to like them all)

Shards
10-27-2008, 07:56 PM
From NCIS: "Love is never having to read her her Miranda rights." (I think that's Shangrila's Child's siggy now).

Wait-a-minute - shouldn't that be Article 31's instead of Miranda? hm.

I'm not familiar with the episode. (I'm a VERY late convert to NCIS, and I've just started working my way through the DVDs)

However, Article 31 rights only cover military personnel. Miranda rights cover all civilians, even civilian government workers.

Shangri-laschild
10-27-2008, 07:57 PM
I'm not familiar with the episode. (I'm a VERY late convert to NCIS, and I've just started working my way through the DVDs)

It's in season 5 :)

Soria
10-27-2008, 08:18 PM
Hmmm I bet Gravekeeper is using that Secert vanilla Chai body spray, wouldn't surprise me since he's an oath breaking pansy elf! ;)




I meant to say this earlier but, that dude who cheered on the lady, then had to deal with her, deserved it.

Shards
10-27-2008, 08:33 PM
It's in season 5 :)

That would be why. I watched all of season 1 over the weekend.

Becks
10-28-2008, 03:09 AM
I am not your buddy, pal, friend, comrade, compatriot, tomodachi or amigo.

приятел?

barát?

prijatelj?

znanac?

kolega?

Oh, how I adore foreign languages.



(Bulgarian, Hungarian, and kinda bad Serbian.)

Jester
10-28-2008, 04:56 AM
I just did one worse... I just had the though, gee I wonder what the music video to that would be :eek:

It almost definitely would have Ron Jeremy in it. :lol:

Plus, always saying exactly what I'm about to on every Off Topic thread.

I've told you before, I cheat and look at your notes. The reason you don't see me? Duh. I'm a magician!

AlmightyALT
10-28-2008, 08:43 AM
Accuracy

SC: “Where am I calling right now?”
Me: “We’re in Vancouver here though we cover all of North America.”
SC: “Really? Wow! What’s the weather like!?”
Me: “Grey.”

Well, we do aim for accuracy and I am committed to upholding this standard.


Oh man! I laughed so hard at this! Despite all the rest *this* is what got to me! My first year English text book that I use at school has a section where the Japanese students (with a healthy sprinkling of Aussie and American) ask the Canadian ALT's brother, Bill, how the weather is in Toronto:

Shin: What time is it in Toronto now?
Bill: It's eleven in the evening.
Shin: How's the weather?
Bill: It's cloudy.

I don't know why it's so funny to me.... Maybe the teaching has affected my head..... :roll:

SylviasDaddy
10-28-2008, 10:12 AM
Miranda rights

I knew a policeman who named his daughter Miranda so that when she cried or whined he could tell her she had the right to remain silent.

(I don't care who you are -- THAT'S CORNY!)

Alpha Strike
10-28-2008, 04:51 PM
If your girlfriend can immediately name the felony she thinks you’d most likely be arrested for you just might have a problem.


Yer, that's never a great sign!


Sounds like a Jeff Foxworthy line to me:

"If your girlfriend is told you've been arrested, isn't surprised and immediately assumes it's drunken driving, you Might be a Redneck!"

HorrorFrogPrincess
10-30-2008, 05:45 PM
I'm actually glad Uncle Vick called. I missed him. ^^

Evil Queen
10-30-2008, 05:58 PM
Good old Uncle Vick. But I'm starting to miss the other annoying guy.

smileyeagle1021
10-30-2008, 06:02 PM
Good old Uncle Vick. But I'm starting to miss the other annoying guy.

yeah... I miss Hot Tips for America guy also... whatever did happen to him?

HorrorFrogPrincess
10-30-2008, 06:08 PM
Didn't he stop calling after that one 7-hours-straight deal?

I miss him, too. T-T

Broomjockey
10-30-2008, 09:48 PM
No, that's Death to America guy, I thought.

Gravekeeper
10-31-2008, 04:04 AM
No, that's Death to America guy, I thought.

He's back, he called me last night. I was so happy. I missed him =p

Andrew B.
10-31-2008, 07:19 PM
He's back, he called me last night. I was so happy. I missed him =p

I assume he will make an appearance in your next post?