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Boozy
11-01-2008, 04:17 PM
My co-worker got "The Question."

SC: When is your baby due?
CW: Um, I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat.
SC: Ha ha! Good one. Seriously, when are you due?
CW: I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat.
SC: Oh. You should really exercise.

This guy is one of our regulars. He's always been a bit dumb, but I never thought he was an asshole. He's used to chatting with us when he comes in, and he's been getting the cold shoulder from everyone since he opened his big mouth. My co-worker is a really sweet woman, and I think if it hadn't been for the "exercise" comment, she would have shrugged it off. As it was, she was pretty offended.

Aramika
11-01-2008, 04:28 PM
If a woman says she is not pregnant then guess what? SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!! You don't have to ask a second time. :mad:

PupuTupuna
11-01-2008, 04:36 PM
I think it's not necessary to ask that question even the first time..

Evil Queen
11-01-2008, 04:39 PM
Shouldn't you wait until the "pregnant" woman mentions the pregnancy? It seems to be a common thing, women who are pregnant just love to share the news with anyone and everyone with ears.

HorrorFrogPrincess
11-01-2008, 05:28 PM
That's rude, even if you were pregnant. Frankly, it's none of his business whether you are or not, and if you are when you're due.

Lyger
11-01-2008, 05:29 PM
I believe it was Brian Regan who said "don't guess at that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever."

TTAZ
11-01-2008, 05:31 PM
Oh I don't know, whenever someone asked me when I was due, I would just smile and tell them I wasn't pregnant, it was just gas. Bonus points if the baby shifted visibly when I said it. Used to get quite a few "Look out she's gonna BLOW!!" faces at that one.

Evil Queen
11-01-2008, 05:32 PM
Holy cheerios! TTAZ! Where the heck have you been?!

lupo pazzesco
11-01-2008, 05:35 PM
When I was 15, I was standing in line at Wally World with my mom and this stupid woman came up behind me in the line, muscled her way in front of my mom and rubbed my belly, asking if I was having twins and when was I due! (And I was very much NOT pregnant, but in the middle of a bout of depression where I ate everything in sight for comfort...)

I was in shock. Mom told her to get her hands off her daughter before she cut them off. I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or burst into tears...

Evil Queen
11-01-2008, 05:36 PM
:eek: Why are people so freaking rude??

smileyeagle1021
11-01-2008, 05:37 PM
I believe it was Brian Regan who said "don't guess at that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever."

I think you're right... he also said "never say anything that indicates you even remotely believe a woman is pregnant unless you see the baby coming out at that moment"

poofy_puff
11-01-2008, 06:30 PM
I have a gut like that too. Sometimes even *I* think I look pg. I wish I had a T-shirt that said "No Baby" with an arrow pointing down, or "Not pregnant, just fat".

OTOH, the comment about exercising was unnecessary (and in my case, true as well).

Automan Empire
11-01-2008, 07:00 PM
A boss I once had was famous for having foot-in-mouth disease. One day, he asked a customer the when-is-the-baby-due question and got PWNED when the lady replied, its an inoperable TUMOR! :eek:

Don't let cads like this upset you. If it helps, some of us men find bigger bellies attractive. :love: In fact, this thread made me think of cuddling. So there, rude insensitive customer!

PepperElf
11-01-2008, 07:22 PM
oh i thought that was a dave barry quote

but yeah i was thinking the same thing


and .... if a woman IS pregnant, the stupidest thing to do would be to grab her belly cos.... hell with all those hormones going thru her, .... only the insane or stupid would try angering a pregnant woman

CiggyStoreClerk
11-02-2008, 02:12 AM
I believe it was Brian Regan who said "don't guess at that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever."

Yeah, it was him, but he didn't have enough ever's memorized :D

Golden Phoenix
11-02-2008, 12:33 PM
I suffer from the dreaded foot-in-mouth disease and as such i only ask when a baby is due if:

A) The woman appears to be in active labour and i'm trying to figure out if i should call an ambulance.
B) She's told me she's pregnant.

KhirasHY
11-02-2008, 12:43 PM
I believe it was Brian Regan who said "don't guess at that ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever."

Indeed, words to live by.

Some women might like people to be curious...but I'm never going to ask that question, even if it's 100% obvious that you are, indeed, pregnant.

I have this thing about not getting slapped in the face that guides my words.

chinashirtgirl
11-02-2008, 01:02 PM
Also what are these busy-bodies going to do with the information after they find out when the baby is due? Are they going to throw a shower for a perfect stranger?

It just seems like a pretty personal question to begin with and unless a pregnant lady starts the conversation and talks about her pregnancy I say mind your own business.

Tikaysha
11-02-2008, 09:32 PM
I work in a maternity shop, so I'm asking that question all the time. I've found the best response to "I'm shopping for my friend/sister/daughter" is "Ah! I thought you just weren't showing yet. Congratulations on being an aunt/grandmother." I'm not sure how you'd translate that to the outside world though. Or why anyone would ask that out of the blue unless it was their doctor or someone trying to sell you maternity clothes.

otakuneko
11-02-2008, 09:53 PM
One time, back in high school, I made the opposite assumption about a girl. I distinctly remember being surprised when she said she was pregnant. I had assumed she was just plump. :ashamed: (though, I never said anything about it)

Reyneth
11-03-2008, 12:51 AM
When someone is buying parenting/baby names/pregnancy books at my bookstore, unless they are clearly pregnant, I'll often kinda indicate the books and ask "for you or someone else?" They say yes, I say congrats. They say no, for sister/friend/etc, I say congrats on being an aunt/cool friend of mom/etc. I haven't offended anyone yet.....

Naaman
11-03-2008, 12:54 AM
How can people be that oblivious?

Pg 'fat' is all in the front belly location (along with some other, often obvious, changes)

Overweight is spread around a bit more

And no, I have never nor will ever congratulate someone until they tell me (because of that chance I may be wrong)

BookstoreEscapee
11-03-2008, 02:48 AM
I work in a maternity shop, so I'm asking that question all the time. I've found the best response to "I'm shopping for my friend/sister/daughter" is "Ah! I thought you just weren't showing yet. Congratulations on being an aunt/grandmother." I'm not sure how you'd translate that to the outside world though. Or why anyone would ask that out of the blue unless it was their doctor or someone trying to sell you maternity clothes.

See, in that situation, you could easily be safe just by asking "When's the baby due?" That way you are not assuming the shopper is the mother-to-be, but obviously there is a baby on the way....somewhere. Same with the case of a customer buying books on the subject.

Aislin
11-03-2008, 04:13 AM
I got this on a plane and was stuck sitting next to the twit for the next hour, then she asked when my bf and I were getting married, he replied "someday" I replied "none of your f*cking business." Then she tried to convert us to her religion. I was so happy when the flight attendant came and we could order drinks.

Tikaysha
11-04-2008, 01:20 AM
See, in that situation, you could easily be safe just by asking "When's the baby due?" That way you are not assuming the shopper is the mother-to-be, but obviously there is a baby on the way....somewhere. Same with the case of a customer buying books on the subject.

I could. But then I'd have to do math in my head, to figure out how much longer that is, and therefore how far along said pregnant lady is. Which, on the wrong day, is more than my former lit-major brain can handle. I do not need to appear brain-dead to people who make more than me by a factor of ten.

candyshopgirl
11-04-2008, 01:41 AM
A boss I once had was famous for having foot-in-mouth disease. One day, he asked a customer the when-is-the-baby-due question and got PWNED when the lady replied, its an inoperable TUMOR! :eek:

Don't let cads like this upset you. If it helps, some of us men find bigger bellies attractive. :love: In fact, this thread made me think of cuddling. So there, rude insensitive customer!

One of our housekeepers got suspended because when she asked one of the other housekeepers when she was due.Same thing it was a tumor.Then the stupid bitch still went around after being told this and still told everyone that the woman was preggers.The bitch got supensed for three days without pay.But the best part was the bitch confronted the poor woman and yell at her.She got suspended again. :roll::roll:

AlmightyALT
11-04-2008, 03:28 AM
I... am guilty of this. :cry: But then I was... 8 at the time and a friend of my mom's was pregnant and their bellies looked about the same! My mom was horrified. But the lady, fortunately, took it in good stride since I was but a child. And I learned my lesson not to do so.

Funn story about this. Another ALT friend of mine got on the train the other day and since all the seats were taken she had to stand, which she didn't mind because she was only going to go about two stops down. Well this guy gets up and gestures to her to take his seat. She gives him the 'oh no, it's all right, I'm fine' hand wave. He again gestures to her to take his seat. She again gives him the hand wave. He then points to her stomach. She pauses a moment, figures it out and, turning bright red, gestured to the guy that she wasn't pregnant. He turned red as well and sat back down. She now laughs about it and says the next time she rides a train and wants a seat she's going to pretend to be pregnant. Joking of course.

Iris Kojiro
11-04-2008, 03:53 AM
I'll admit that I've asked before...however in my defense at one of my jobs we do sell medication and there are some things that pregnant women cannot use. I'll also admit that if she is super-obviously pregnant (that even the dumbest of people could tell it's a pregnancy and not just fat), I'll say something like "How much longer?"

I haven't offended anyone, fortunately.

42_42_42
11-04-2008, 04:03 AM
I had this happen to me. But the offender was a kindergartener and he was so sweet about it and was really sad when he found out there wasn't a baby in my tummy. It was too cute for me to be upset. It was a unique teaching moment, however!

If any adult did that to me, I'd probably burst into tears as my DH and I have been TTC for almost a year and I did just have an operation to remove a giant tumor that was most likely the reason we weren't having any success.

Seshat
11-04-2008, 04:08 AM
I'll admit that I've asked before...however in my defense at one of my jobs we do sell medication and there are some things that pregnant women cannot use.

I'd say that's a perfectly reasonable exception to the rule!

I'd want to be asked if I was pregnant before getting an X-ray, too.

Alpha Strike
11-04-2008, 04:20 PM
That's rude, even if you were pregnant. Frankly, it's none of his business whether you are or not, and if you are when you're due.

If you know for a fact that someone is pregnant - the woman told you, for example - why is it rude to ask the due date?

Nephy
11-04-2008, 07:40 PM
I'm currently 5 months pregnant, and still at the stage where it could be that I'm pregnant, or just pudgy.

So far I've only had one person that didn't know for sure that I was pregnant ask when I was due, but I had bent over, so she probably saw the band of my maternity pants.

At the Halloween party I went to I was (obviously) not drinking.. finally one guy asked "So, not drinking... whyyyy?" When I told him why, he goes "Okay, yeah, that's what I thought, but would have been horrified if I said that and you weren't", so it's nice that he confirmed first.

And I'm guilty of being one of those women that will slip it into the conversation any time I can, since I love talking about it. :angel: But then again, most people's reaction is "Yaaaaaay, baby!" followed by a million questions.


I work in a drugstore, so I hate it when someone asks me where some sort of medication is if they look like they miiiight be pregnant, since if they're pregnant, I'll send them to the pharmacist first so she can consult on what's safe to take. Still haven't figured out a graceful way to ask.

Jester
11-04-2008, 08:12 PM
:eek: Why are people so freaking rude??

I never thought that I would quote Depeche Mode, a band I despise and actually attempted to ban from my college radio show, but in this case, as much as I loathe their music, this song just sprang to mind:

"People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully

Now youre punching
And youre kicking
And youre shouting at me
And Im relying on your common decency
So far it hasnt surfaced
But Im sure it exists
It just takes a while to travel
From your head to your fist

People are people
So why should it be
You and I should get along so awfully"

People are people, my dear. Which is to say, they are selfish, self-centered, smally, petty, mean, rude, and oblivious. THAT, sadly, is human nature.

How can people be that oblivious?

Pg 'fat' is all in the front belly location (along with some other, often obvious, changes)

Overweight is spread around a bit more

Yes and no.

1. Someone can be pregnant and not have it be that obvious if it is in the early or middle stages. Or they could just be overweight. At that point in the (potential) pregnancy, it is not the clearly delineated.

2. There are some overweight women where there IS a lot of weight in their belly, like a guy's beer belly, that could look like a pregnancy.

At the Halloween party I went to I was (obviously) not drinking.. finally one guy asked "So, not drinking... whyyyy?" When I told him why, he goes "Okay, yeah, that's what I thought, but would have been horrified if I said that and you weren't", so it's nice that he confirmed first.

Typical conversation with a guest:

JESTER: "So, what are y'all drinking?"
GUEST: "Iced tea."
JESTER: "Get out of my bar!"

I do this with a smile and a twinkle in the eye, of course, and people find it hilarious. Keep in mind, this IS a notorious drinking town, so most people get the joke.

Then there is the OTHER form of that conversation.

JESTER: "So, what are y'all drinking?"
FEMALE GUEST: "Iced tea."
JESTER: "Get out of my bar!"
FEMALE GUEST: "I'm pregnant."
JESTER: "Ah, now there is an excuse I'll take!"
MALE GUEST: "I'll have an iced tea too."
JESTER: "Now, you can't tell me YOU'RE pregnant too!"

As I tell my guests, the "three p's" are the only "excuse" I'll take for not having a "real" drink: pregnant, pilot, or pills. I have said many times that the day I meet a pregnant pilot on medication (pills), I'll quit my job. :lol:

auntiem
11-04-2008, 10:36 PM
I work in a drugstore, so I hate it when someone asks me where some sort of medication is if they look like they miiiight be pregnant, since if they're pregnant, I'll send them to the pharmacist first so she can consult on what's safe to take. Still haven't figured out a graceful way to ask.

I'm still within childbearing years so all the doctors / pharm techs. / nurses / x-ray techs ask "is there any chance you could be pregnant?" Which is I think the best way to do it. It doesn't imply that I actually look like I am (which I don't) but does make me think about my answer. *

*even thought the first thing that goes thru my mind is to respond like the scene in Baby Boom where she breaks down and cries about not having sex in months

DGoddessChardonnay
11-04-2008, 11:36 PM
That's rude, even if you were pregnant. Frankly, it's none of his business whether you are or not, and if you are when you're due.

I was always taught that as well. Never ask a pregnant woman if she's pregnant or when she's due UNLESS she brings up the fact that she is expecting.

Believe it or not, I've been asked that question myself and even when I've weighed more than I do now, I didn't think I looked that heavy.

The ignoramus that asked is very lucky I taught myself manners, otherwise he'd still be spitting out teeth to this day.:angel:

Belari
11-05-2008, 04:46 PM
Yes and no.

1. Someone can be pregnant and not have it be that obvious if it is in the early or middle stages. Or they could just be overweight. At that point in the (potential) pregnancy, it is not the clearly delineated.

2. There are some overweight women where there IS a lot of weight in their belly, like a guy's beer belly, that could look like a pregnancy.



I know a girl, I would have sworn she was at least 8 months pregnant, but didn't want to ask (figured she'd bring it up if she wanted me to know). Then she was telling a friend and I a story. Apparently the previous day someone had asked when she was due and argued when she said she wasn't pregnant. I figured out later that she'd gained a huge beer belly over the course of the last few months, making her appear to be growing a baby. I am SOOOOO glad I never asked.

Summerfly413
11-05-2008, 07:04 PM
I was asked TWICE while in high school if I was pregnant, and I think it was the same girl...
One day(in like 9th grade), I was talking to my friend, and this girl comes up out of nowhere and says "Girl, are you pregnant?!" ...Um...no..Thanks for throwing what little self esteem I had into the ground.
The second time, sometime that same year, or the next year, I was in my gym class, walking around the track. I usually wore large-ish shirts, but nothing super big. Some girls were just sitting in the grass(which you weren't supposed to do, you had to do SOMETHING while we were outside), and one of them asked while I was walking by "Hey!! Are you pregnant?!?!" ...NO! Holy crap.
It's not like I was super fat at either times. About 140 pounds, 5'4" tall. I've lost weight since then, but I've ALWAYS been self consious about my stomach, so NEITHER of those times were fun.

Sparky
11-05-2008, 07:30 PM
I was in the hospital 2 days after giving birth and some old jackass who'd come to visit my hospital roommate asked me when my baby was due. Um... Dude, why would I be in the maternity ward if I hadn't already given birth? SORRY if I don't have my figure back TWO DAYS after delivering a 10-pound baby! I was (of course) hormonal as hell and wanted to go off on him, but I couldn't think of anything rude enough to say and besides he was old. And obviously stupid. So I just gave him a dirty look and ignored him.

Interestingly, when I was 5 months pregnant with that same baby, wearing maternity clothes, I was out of town and got sick with flu-like symptoms. I would have toughed it out but I was concerned about the baby, so I called and got an appointment with a local obstetrician. He asked me if I was on the pill! :eek:

Apparently, even doctors can't tell just by looking. :lol: