Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!

[hinakiba777]

Because you look better with just two eyes.

Why did Jack T. Chance have to scare me like that?!:cry:

[CaroPhoenix]

He wanted to make sure you were awake!

Why am I watching Elmo's World?

[XCashier]

Why am I watching Elmo's World?
It's the most intelligent thing on TV, which isn't saying much.

Why is TV so awful, anyway?

[Lace Neil Singer]

To make you want to go to work just to get away from it.

How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall. but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?

[hinakiba777]

WHITE TAIL DEER ARE THE NUMBER ONE KILLERS IN NORTH AMERICA?!

Will I get along with my roomate(s) next year?

[CaroPhoenix]

Yes, but only if you decorate the house with your own swords.

Who's in the mood for pancakes?

[BookstoreEscapee]

That bunny with the pancake on his head...

IHOP. Do you? :bounce:

[CaroPhoenix]

Only on the weekends and only if Child Rum has woken me up before 5:30 AM.

All aboard the ... what?

[RootedPhoenix]

"The Magical Mystery Tour is coming to take you away..."

What is normal for?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Normal people are weird.

Will we have fun on the CS NJ meetup this weekend?

[CaroPhoenix]

No, 'cos no one told me about it so I am going to miss it! :cry:

Should I start up a CS VA meetup soon?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, you should do it NOW!

What will Sunday bring?

[Jack T. Chance]

No, you should do it NOW!

What will Sunday bring?Here's your Horoscope for Sunday, guaranteed to be 100% accurate:

The stars predict you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep! :D

Why did my laptop give me issues tonight? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because your laptop is female and you're not.

Who will save the day?

[SteverinoNY]

Captain Planet

Will anyone take my test for me today?

[CaroPhoenix]

Not me said the rat
Not me said the cat
Not me said the pig

Why do animals no longer talk in stories?

[BookstoreEscapee]

It's all that reality TV...(well, they don't talk in real life, do they?)

What does my touchy tummy want for dinner? :(

[Jack T. Chance]

Not me said the rat
Not me said the cat
Not me said the pig

Why do animals no longer talk in stories?Because you're reading the wrong stories! :p

Why doesn't CricKet Wireless want my money?!? :confused:

EDIT:It's all that reality TV...(well, they don't talk in real life, do they?)

What does my touchy tummy want for dinner? :(Howsabout... some rice? :)

Why for thou gazump Taz?

[CaroPhoenix]

Gazumping is the only thing allowed in this thread really.

America's got talent?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yes, but it's got even more freaks. :eek:


How come so many of the contestants are from other countries?

[Jack T. Chance]

Yes, but it's got even more freaks. :eek:


How come so many of the contestants are from other countries?Same old story... the foreigners want to take jobs from Americans! :p

What kind of ice cream should I get at the store? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

chocolate chocolate chocolate chip

Why am I not sleeping?

[Jack T. Chance]

chocolate chocolate chocolate chip

Why am I not sleeping?'Cuz the Insomnia Fairy paid you a visit?

Why.... why do you always kick me when I'm high?

[MergedLoki]

'Cuz the Insomnia Fairy paid you a visit?

Why.... why do you always kick me when I'm high?

Because then I can get 3 or 4 kicks in before you start to feel them.


Q: Why do you eat all my damn food!?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the Country Mouse and the City Mouse are coming over for a visit.

Why does my daughter have the TV remote?

[Trayol]

Because itss hers preciouses.

When will this heat stop?

[CaroPhoenix]

Either when the sun goes down or when a giant space air conditioner pops up and cools down the entire solar system.

Do I like being me?

[Lace Neil Singer]

If you didn't, you'd have a problem.

Why do parents say to kids climbing on walls, "If you fall off and break both your legs, don't run crying to me"? It doesn't really make sense. XD

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why do parents say to kids climbing on walls, "If you fall off and break both your legs, don't run crying to me"? It doesn't really make sense. XD

If it makes sense, it's not allowed.

(My dad used to say that when we climbed the trees in the front yard. :))

Can you feel the love tonight?

[XCashier]

Can you feel the love tonight?
It is where we are.

So, where the heck are we?!

[CaroPhoenix]

We're just north of the star that's just to the right of the moon.

Why has the rum come back?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because Design Fox had beer last night instead.

How did I win that last game of pool?

[XCashier]

You picked up your cue! :D

Why is chocolate so delicious but so bad for you?

[Trayol]

Murphy knows no limits to his cruelty.

What did the witch doctor tell you?

[CaroPhoenix]

All I remember is a Love Potion #9 and a ting tang with a walla walla bing bang.

Where do purple monkeys come from?

[Chanlin]

Nowhere, they're just purple people dressed up in costumes to avoid being eaten by the purple people eater.

Why are my ears ringing so much?

[CaroPhoenix]

Your phone is still attached to them.

Is kooky really cool?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Your phone is still attached to them.

Is kooky really cool?

Only if he can still loan you his comb.:p

Why is it always darkest before the dawn?

[CaroPhoenix]

The nightlight went out in preparation for the sun.

Hi, can I help you?

[BookstoreEscapee]

NO! I'M JUST LOOKING!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

...

Hi, can you help me?

[Jack T. Chance]

NO! I'M JUST LOOKING!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

...

Hi, can you help me?Depends what you're wanting help with! :eyewaggle:

Answer me this: Where is my flying car that science fiction told me I'd have by now? :headscratch:

[Trayol]

It's being held in the back. Didn't They tell you?

What is elbow grease?

[CaroPhoenix]

It's the sweat of your elbows when you use them in ways they weren't meant to be used.

What is it?

[crazylegs]

Purple Albatross

What have I been doing all weekend?

[CaroPhoenix]

The Wabash Cannonball.

Do we think literally?

[Jack T. Chance]

The Wabash Cannonball.

Do we think literally?What you mean "we", kemosabe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ke-mo_sah-bee)? :p

What shall I do tomorrow? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

Try to take over the state of Maryland (hey, start small).

Why am I so unproductive? :(

[Jack T. Chance]

Blame it on the rain... ;)

Okay, okay.... REALLY bad choice of a song, considering the guys that sang it were just lip-synching... but anyway....

What shall I do after I take over Maryland? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

I dunno, move on to Delaware?

Will someone help me move the dumpster underneath my bedroom window so I can just take a shovel and get rid of all the crap in here?

[Jack T. Chance]

I dunno, move on to Delaware?

Will someone help me move the dumpster underneath my bedroom window so I can just take a shovel and get rid of all the crap in here?Ummm... sure! But I call "dibs" on the crap you don't want, just in case there's anything there that I might want! :D

What would you do-oo-oo...

for an Eskimo Pie? :confused:

(I'll bet you thought I was going to say "Klondike bar", didn't you? ;))

[Sir Spaniard the 12th]

Travel to the Arctic.

If the moon is made of cheese, then what is the earth made of?

[Plank]

delicious chutney. For the space-giants

where am I?

[Sir Spaniard the 12th]

In the wrong place at the right time.

What is delicious?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Everything that's bad for you.

If silence is golden, then what is silver?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Your inside voice.

What's up doc?

[CaroPhoenix]

My co-pay

Would you like an expert in magic?

[Jack T. Chance]

My co-pay

Would you like an expert in magic?Only if he/she is a technomage, and will tell me the 14 Words to Make Someone Fall in Love With You Forever! :devil:

What? I'm EVIL! Didn't you know this already?

[CaroPhoenix]

You are not evil!You're loveable, adorable, smart, cute, perfect ... OoO! I just described myself! Yeah, you're just plain ol' evil. :p

When is it really time to do the Mouse-ka-dance?

[BookstoreEscapee]

When the music starts.

What can I throw and/or punch?

[CaroPhoenix]

Child Rum and/or Mr. Rum!

What are you supposed to be doing?

[Jack T. Chance]

Child Rum and/or Mr. Rum!

What are you supposed to be doing?Going to sleep.... shhhh! Don't tell anyone! :p

What was THAT?

[CaroPhoenix]

Move along! Move along. There is definitely nothing to see here. Most definitely nothing to ... er ... OMG! It's getting loose! Hmmm .. move along.

What can i find at the beach?

[Jack T. Chance]

Sand, and lots of it. But be very careful... that stuff gets EVERYWHERE... it'll get into places that you didn't even know you HAD places! :p

Who do I have to kill to get in & out of the MD Motor Vehicle Administration in less than 2 hours this morning? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

All the people in line in front of you. Can't kill the workers or you'll be there longer. :p

Do penguins sleep standing up?

[Jack T. Chance]

Nope. They actually sleep while leaning on the shoulder of the penguin next to them. ;)

Who dat say who dat when I say who dat? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Dat's the echo of the dying breath of the person who gave you that question to ask.

Do laws really mean anything?

[Jack T. Chance]

Dat's the echo of the dying breath of the person who gave you that question to ask.

Do laws really mean anything?Only if you get caught! :devil:

Why do the interwebz hate me tonight? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

It's your turn.

So, what does the penguin on the end lean on?

[CaroPhoenix]

The invisible PLP.

What is a PLP? :confused:

[RootedPhoenix]

The Penguin Leaning Platform.

Do monkeys eat oranges?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nope, they only eat greens and yellows.

Which team do you represent?

[Jack T. Chance]

Which team do you represent?Just the 3 of us... me, myself, and I. ;)

What's in YOUR wallet?

[CaroPhoenix]

Lint, belly button dust and a token to the see the Queen of Nowhere Land.

Where is Nowhere Land?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Just east of Somewhere.

What's the word?

[Noo_Noo]

Everyone's heard that the bird is the word.

Why am I still here?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because we're still waiting for the Zombie Apocalypse to happen! ;)

Why ask why?

[CaroPhoenix]

Do not ask why, just ask because.

Who has a pig on their head?

[Jack T. Chance]

Who has a pig on their head?Ummm.... that guy over there! He's being attacked by Spider-Pig! :eek:

What does Spider-Pig do when he's not leaving hoof-prints on your ceiling? :confused:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ummm.... that guy over there! He's being attacked by Spider-Pig! :eek:

What does Spider-Pig do when he's not leaving hoof-prints on your ceiling? :confused:

Weaves words to describe him in his web to keep from becoming bacon.:p

Why do celebrities usually die in 3's?

[Jack T. Chance]

Weaves words to describe him in his web to keep from becoming bacon.:p

Why do celebrities usually die in 3's?Same reason women always go to the bathroom together! :rolleyes:

Why am I so tired right now? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because you didn't dance with the Sand Woman.

Who likes pizza?

[RootedPhoenix]

ME! :D

Why is the cat so insane?

[taurinejunkie]

Because it's a dog in a cat's body.

Now that my job's killed my faith in humanity (good thing in my opinion), where do I hide the corpse?

[CaroPhoenix]

Man! You only have one corpse? Well, then just hide it over here with the rest of the corpses I had to hide when I lost my faith in humanity.

Doughnuts or just the holes?

[XCashier]

Doughnuts, please, I deal with enough 'holes as it is.

When will it stop?

[CaroPhoenix]

When it decides to get a job.

What is inside a ball?

[XCashier]

The letters A and L.

Why does my cat claw everything EXCEPT her scratching post?! :hairpull:

[BookstoreEscapee]

She doesn't want to ruin it.

When can I get a fuzzy friend?

[CaroPhoenix]

At the Fuzzy Friends store; razor optional. :D

Why is my husband hiding in his "man cave"?

[Jack T. Chance]

Why is my husband hiding in his "man cave"?
Because that's what men do when they have a "man cave"! ;)

Why do the young 'uns find partying hard so fascinating? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because they want to test their endurance.

Conjunction Junction what's your function?

[SteverinoNY]

To Turn Water into http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3c-kz8-bIY

Why must it continue to be humid despite the fact that we've had thunderstorms every day?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because the air conditioning outside is on the fritz.:p

Speaking of humid, why does the air some days feel thicker than a heavy blanket?

[SteverinoNY]

Because mother nature is like a wet blanket ruining all of our adult fun :devil:

Why does my mother insist on yelling into the telephone?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because mother nature is like a wet blanket ruining all of our adult fun :devil:

Why does my mother insist on yelling into the telephone?

Her volume control is stuck in YELL mode. FWIW, the mute button is also disabled.:p

Why does the kitten make a beeline for the sofa when she runs loose through the house?

[Chanlin]

Why does the kitten make a beeline for the sofa when she runs loose through the house?

Because he/she/it is thinking "why is this thing not covered in hair yet?"

Have you ever asked yourself "why am I here?"

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because he/she/it is thinking "why is this thing not covered in hair yet?"

Have you ever asked yourself "why am I here?"

All the time. It's better than asking "Why am I there?":p

How many times can you say "Brownie Blizzard Blast" before your tongue gets tied up?

[CaroPhoenix]

Just once - and then I go buy one and my tongue gets tied up in the straw.

Take what to mommy?

[SteverinoNY]

3 bags of peanuts, a hammer, and a sign saying "eat at joes"

Why sleep on the bed when you can sleep on the floor?

[Tora]

Why sleep on the bed when you can sleep on the floor?

The gnomes will get you otherwise.

Why do people wear clothing in public?

[CaroPhoenix]

The floor is too interesting to sleep upon and you'd never get any sleep.

Ray?

[SteverinoNY]

Gun?

What sound does a constipated turtle make when you hook him up to a car battery?

[Trayol]

hhhhhhhhnnnnnnnggggggghhhhhhrrrrrrrrr-zzzzzzzzzplorkenduck

Whatcha tell the witch doctor?

[XCashier]

Whatcha tell the witch doctor?
I asked for Doctor Who, not Doctor Which!

What the hell is THAT?!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Don't worry...it's more afraid of you than you are of it.

Why did I eat that sugar flower from the cake my roomie brought home? :bounce:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because it was calling to you with its musical mentally controlling sugar.

If the rum is gone, then what am I drinking?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Uh...you don't want to know...:blink:

How does my apartment spin around like that?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Cuz of your belief that the world revolves around you. XD

How many CSers does it take to change a light bulb?

[CaroPhoenix]

500! 1 to actually change the bulb and the rest who have to comment on how they did.

How sticky are your buns?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Uh...I'm gonna go take a shower now...

When will the rhetorical questions end?

[CaroPhoenix]

When the rhetorical answers are sharpened up.

Do tress really talk?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

No but they wave their branches and shake their leaves depending on how the wind blows.:p

Why won't the mosquitoes leave me alone?

[CaroPhoenix]

You remind them of their sweet nectar of youth.

Strawberries or strawbabies?

[SteverinoNY]

MMMMMMMMMMM STRAWBERRIES *cue homer simpson drooling*

Why must it always rain when there are important things to do?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because the rain gods don't like you very much:p

Why can't I work on my website without somebody bugging me for something?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You didn't run the debugger.

Who comes up with these things?

[SteverinoNY]

Gord

Why does jelly jiggle but jam plops?

[XCashier]

Jam's lazy.

Anyone want to jam?

[MrPibbsRevenge]

It's peanut butter jelly time! :runaway:

What is the capital of Springfield,Illinois?

[CaroPhoenix]

As long as we don't get into a sticky situation, sure!

What is a Ferb?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

A Ferb is a verb on crack . . . they're not nice words at all.:p

As far as running the debugger program. . . would Raid work just as well?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Sure, just don't use it on your watermelons.

Why is there absolutely nothing worth watching on TV?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because everything worth watching gets canceled. :(

Why can't it be August 25th yet? :confused:

--Jack (who wants it to be Aug. 25th so he can start playing Section 8 (http://www.joinsection8.com)! :cool:)

[CaroPhoenix]

Because then I'd miss my exciting 7th wedding anniversary. :rolleyes:

Can you believe I've been married for 7 years?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because then I'd miss my exciting 7th wedding anniversary. :rolleyes:

Can you believe I've been married for 7 years?

Some people are lucky in finding someone they can live with.;)

But why is it so hard for others to find that special someone? :headscratch:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because not everyone looks into Geeks R Us.

What are you looking for?

[Jack T. Chance]

Some people are lucky in finding someone they can live with.;)

But why is it so hard for others to find that special someone? :headscratch:
Well, you see, there's this complete & total smeghead called "God", see, and he has, like, absolute power over all of creation, and, well, he hates us and wants us to suffer. So, we do. I really wish the heroes of the Marvel Universe would get off their lazy arses and go take the Infinity Gauntlet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinity_Gauntlet) away from him, already, 'cuz it's getting really old! :rolleyes:

What? Why are you looking at me like that? :confused:

EDIT: And why does everyone always insist on gazumping me? :mad:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because gazumping is the new leapfrog of the internets.

If I don't want to go slow, then what do I want to do?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Go slower.

Why did I lock my keys in the trunk?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You didn't. The keys threw themselves into the trunk and slammed the lid shut so they wouldn't be attacked by the Boogey Man.:p

Why is it I can spend all day bored but by the time I get ready for bed, I'm in the mood to stay up and do other stuff?

[Jack T. Chance]

You didn't. The keys threw themselves into the trunk and slammed the lid shut so they wouldn't be attacked by the Boogey Man.:p

Why is it I can spend all day bored but by the time I get ready for bed, I'm in the mood to stay up and do other stuff?Because you're secretly a night owl, you just haven't been able to admit it to yourself yet! ;)

What do I want to do? Watch a DVD, or play a video game? :confused:

[Trayol]

You should read a good book. I suggest the Dresden Files: SciFi/Fantasy and Mystery combined.

When were these good ol' days?

[CaroPhoenix]

Back before you were born and when everything was so simple wittling a piece of wood was the latest craze.

Why does my child call our cat Mr. Cat?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz they're not on a first name basis yet.

Why does summer have to be so hot?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because without it being hot, Christmas in July sales wouldn't make any sense.

Why is my daughter fascinated with eggs?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

She's waiting to see if any chicks hatch from them.:lol:

Why is it my area can get a mini-monsoon when there's a 40% chance of rain, but not a drop when there's a 50% chance of rain?

[Trayol]

Murphy plus Nature can be a cruel and sometimes funny combo.

Why is it that people care less about their jobs when they are quitting them soon?

[BookstoreEscapee]

They're only pretending to care less. It eases the separation anxiety.

Why am I unable to go to bed at a reasonable hour?

[TheSHAD0W]

Why am I unable to go to bed at a reasonable hour?

You're horny.

Why can't we all just get along?

[Trayol]

We do, but only when we fight eachother.

For whom does the bell toll?

[CaroPhoenix]

The bell toller ... which is always a French hunchback for some reason.

Where can I play cowboy?

[Chanlin]

Where can I play cowboy?

That depends, if you are playing Cowboy in C major then wherever you please, otherwise it may require special training.

Why do we call them black holes?

[Hyena Dandy]

That depends, if you are playing Cowboy in C major then wherever you please, otherwise it may require special training.

Why do we call them black holes?

Because we live in a racist society.

What color was Washington's favorite gray horse?

[CaroPhoenix]

Chartruse with just a tad touch of lime-green. :D

Where is the invisible office?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Just off the invisible backroom to the left.

Why is it quiet outside right now?

[Jack T. Chance]

Just off the invisible backroom to the left.

Why is it quiet outside right now?'Cuz I'm not out there getting into trouble! ;)

Why not? :confused:

[Hyena Dandy]

'Cuz I'm not out there getting into trouble! ;)

Why not? :confused:

Because the Government's watching.




Don't you have it in the back room?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because the Government's watching.

Don't you have it in the back room?*speaks loudly into the hidden microphone* I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about! ;)

Who to the what now? :confused:

[Lace Neil Singer]

The where.

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts when water touches her; how does she bathe? O_o

[CaroPhoenix]

She uses the waterless hand sanitizers in the large economical sizes.

Is it really a Blue's Clues day?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Only if you're interested in Where's Waldo?:p

Now what?

[CaroPhoenix]

The future is cloudy; ask again later.

Are Magic 8 balls really magical?

[Jack T. Chance]

The future is cloudy; ask again later.

Are Magic 8 balls really magical?Nope, they're actually the product of advanced extraterrestrial super science! :D

Who's on first? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

I wouldn't say Who, I would say Whom and that's not really the point, I mean what is it about first that everyone wants to be there?!?

Is playing in the sprinkler more fun than playing in the rain?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I think playing in the rain is cheaper on the water bill . . .:p

But then, have you ever met a duck that didn't like the rain?

[BookstoreEscapee]

But then, have you ever met a duck that didn't like the rain?

I know one who prefers Brawndo...

Who's the fairest of them all?

[Hyena Dandy]

I know one who prefers Brawndo...

Who's the fairest of them all?

Me! :)

What do you get when you guzzle down sweets, eating as much as an elephant eats?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You get a lot of junk in your trunk.

How come my computer doesn't have the penguin game? :(

[CaroPhoenix]

Your computer is just waaaaay too hawt!

Where can I settle down?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Wherever the wind blows the right way.

What do I want for dinner tonight that's quick and easy?

[CaroPhoenix]

twinkies, ho-hos and sliced bread.

What do we need to loosen the soil?

[Jack T. Chance]

twinkies, ho-hos and sliced bread.

What do we need to loosen the soil?A garden gnome! ;)

Coffee, tea or me? :confused:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Got plenty of coffee here already, and I only drink tea when I'm out, so that leaves only one choice there . . .:angel:

Are we talking a la mode?:p

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, we're talking English.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? (http://www.amazon.com/Ignorance-Bliss-Arent-There-People/dp/0307460665)

[CaroPhoenix]

Because they're too ignorant to know about their ignorance.

What ever happened to Baby Jane?

[dalesys]

She's a National Park Service tour guide at Timpanogos Cave!

When a ground squirrel sees the sun on 02/02 it means six more weeks of winter...

So if a tree squirrel sees the sun on 08/02 does it mean six more weeks of summer?

[BookstoreEscapee]

God I hope not. It's 81 degrees out at 10PM!

When will the heat end?

[Jack T. Chance]

In about 5 billion years, when the sun expands, destroys the Earth and the rest of the solar system, and then burns out. ;)

Why can't I have a flying car, like in The Jetsons? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because you're not a cartoon. :p

Why am I not in bed yet?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because you're a closet night owl . . . admitting it is the first step to sobriety, you know.:p

Can somebody carry me into the kitchen so I can finish cooking dinner?:lol:

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if by carry you mean someone pushes you in a wheelbarrow, then yes. As an aside, do you have a wheelbarrow I can borrow?

Ethel or Lucy?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Neither . . . Fred's at home making the bed rock.:p

How many kittens does it take to make a litter?

[CaroPhoenix]

Well, see, there are an infinite amount of answers to that one, but the real question is:

Why do you want to make litter out of kittens? :confused:

[Jack T. Chance]

Neither . . . Fred's at home making the bed rock.:p

How many kittens does it take to make a litter?Just one, that's all you need to make a right mess of things! ;)

Please sir, can I have some more? :confused:

EDIT: Gazumping is frowned upon around here! *shakes fist* :p

[CaroPhoenix]

What? You want more gazumping! Aaaah! My virgin eyes! :p

Whom would you gazump?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

What? You want more gazumping! Aaaah! My virgin eyes! :p

Whom would you gazump?

Whomever I could find that looks clean and decent and NOT like an extra from a Vincent Price horror flick and is capable of coherent speech (good enunciation is a PLUS.):p

So how many puppies does it take to make a rainbow?

[Jack T. Chance]

So how many puppies does it take to make a rainbow?http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/JackTChance/Answer_to_Life.jpg

That answer just works for EVERYTHING! :D

Who dat think dey gonna beat dem Bengals? :confused: (People that live in Cincinnati, Ohio will get that one! ;))

[CaroPhoenix]

The playas for the Wash Redskins and those with the Dallas Cowboys.

Who says "goo goo ga ga"?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ina Gadda Vida Baby . . .

What's for dinner tonight? Fried weenies or dirty rice?

[XCashier]

Can't we have both?

Why not?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because I said so.

Why knot?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if the knot is in the dirty fried weenie. :p

Would I say anything dirty?

[Nurian]

Only when you're knotty.

Have we used the rope thing too much?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, we were having a noose - I mean, nice - conversation, here.

Why'd you have to ruin it?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Can't we have both?

Why not?

Because putting fried weenies in dirty rice only leads to STD's:lol:

Why can't I train Gizmo to clean her own litter box up?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because then she would have no use for you and you'd be out a cat.

Why can't I have a cat?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the only cats near you are at the local cathouse.

Where have all the cowboys gone?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Off to the mountains with the other cowboys.

When will Jesus bring the porkchops?

[CaroPhoenix]

When George Carlin becomes a Saint.

Texas, here I come?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When George Carlin becomes a Saint.

Texas, here I come?

Maybe not. Remember the Alamo . . .

How long will it take for Gizmo to attempt to break into the fish tank after we get it set up?

[BookstoreEscapee]

It's not a fish tank, it's a lunch box.

What's for lunch?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ask not what the lunch is, but whom the lunch is for.

Is it party time yet?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, party time is at 2:00 (Eastern time) today.

('Tis true; I'm going to a wedding ;))

What should I wear?

[CaroPhoenix]

I know this may sound shocking, but I think you should wear ... Clothes! :D And oh yeah, some underwear. Definitely that under your clothing. Please, don't go around pretending to be Britney Spears. :rolleyes:

Should I try it?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I know this may sound shocking, but I think you should wear ... Clothes! :D And oh yeah, some underwear. Definitely that under your clothing. Please, don't go around pretending to be Britney Spears. :rolleyes:

Should I try it?

Maybe not. You never know what kind of loonies you'll attract.:p

Does anyone want any of this 90 degree weather we've got today? I'm giving it away for free . . .

[CaroPhoenix]

Free weather!? Wow! I want some of that! If it's free, then I'm standing in line!

What else can I get for free?

[Jack T. Chance]

Free weather!? Wow! I want some of that! If it's free, then I'm standing in line!

What else can I get for free?Act now and receive, as an added bonus, FREE HUMIDITY! :D

Why is it still August? Why isn't it September yet? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because I don't want school to start. :p

What should I say?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Just say No.

Why am I cold?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the force of the cold is stronger than the force of the hot.

Who wants to water what?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I want to water me!

Does that sound dirty?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I want to water me!

Does that sound dirty?

Not if your a plant.:p

Who knows how to do a rain dance that will actually work?

[Jack T. Chance]

Not if your a plant.:p

Who knows how to do a rain dance that will actually work?Rainman! :D

A who to the what now? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

A 42 foot tangerine!

How many miles does a man have to walk before he can be called a man?

[XCashier]

42!

Why is 42 The Answer?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because no other number is as much fun to say!

Why is 13 to be feared?

[hinakiba777]

Because 6+7=13. 666 is the number of the beast so six is evil. and 7 8 (ate) 9

Why do I get sea sick?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because 6+7=13. 666 is the number of the beast so six is evil. and 7 8 (ate) 9

Why do I get sea sick?'Cuz you're a land lubber! ;)

What was THAT?!? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

OMG! Did you see the flying purple cow too!?

How can I bribe the sandman to give me good dreams?

[hinakiba777]

Yeah, but only if Childrum goes to bed when you say so.

If I don't find a place to live in the fall, where should i live?

[BookstoreEscapee]

In the spring!

Why does my tummy hurt? :(

[CaroPhoenix]

Your tummy doesn't hurt, that's Mr. Opportunity knocking - he can't find your front door.

Should I run away from home?

[dalesys]

Don't you have that famous children's book "Bunaway Rummy"?

Should I shave my toes?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Yeah, but only if Childrum goes to bed when you say so.

If I don't find a place to live in the fall, where should i live?

On the ground. That way you don't fall.:p

Why does Rover insist on climbing into the big potted plant on the corner of the ramp every single night???

[CaroPhoenix]

Because hiding behind the big potted plant would just be silly.

Why am I not sleeping still?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Because the sphincter gnomes have stolen my magic bag.

Is there a doctor in the house?

[BookstoreEscapee]

There's one in a house somewhere...

What type of animal is Suffaluffagus?

[CaroPhoenix]

Snuffy is an animal? I thought he was a very fuzzy human who walks on all fours.

When will my hurrah day come?

[Nurian]

Right after your boo-rah day.

Should bratwurst be considered a lethal weapon?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if it's improperly handled by an inept chef.

What can we use to put the baby bear back to sleep?

[Nurian]

Chloroform honey.

Where did all the rain go?

[CaroPhoenix]

D'uh! It went back home to the RAINforrest. :p

Where exactly is Waldo?

[Nurian]

Ever since his marriage to Carmen Sandiego? No idea

Who put the "bop" in the "bop shoo bop"?

[CaroPhoenix]

The Rama Lama Ding-a-lings.

Where do wyrmns live?

[BookstoreEscapee]

In a wyrm hole.

Should I go sleep at my parents' house tonight or suffer my bedroom again?

[RootedPhoenix]

Play Twister on the roof.

Why am I awake now?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the beds are in the wyrm hole with the wyrmn.

I can go to this game?

[Nurian]

Sure, if you bring pizza and Mt. Dew.

Have you ever seen the sunset at 3PM?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sure, if you bring pizza and Mt. Dew.

Have you ever seen the sunset at 3PM?

Not unless you go to the nearest bar for Happy Hour . . .

Do I really want to get out the vacuum cleaner?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nah, you're going to have to train it to come out by itself.

Let's get ... some?

[MannersMakethMan]

No, forget some. Let's get a lot!

Who took August?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I did and I'm not giving it back! Unless...

Will you trade for October?

[CaroPhoenix]

Hey! Gimme October! I want October as it's my birthday month!

What are ya getting me for mah birfday?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No! It's my birthday month so everyone should get me stuff!!!

What do I want?

[CaroPhoenix]

A bakers dozen of Barbie Dolls, a Barbie Dream House and a Thomas the Tank Engine toys.

Why is my cat sleeping and snoring?

[BookstoreEscapee]

It's what cats do... :shrug:

What should I do today?

[CaroPhoenix]

The same thing I do everyday .... sit on the computer and listen to childrens shows in the background. :D

Is this really a summer to remember?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yes, and it will haunt your dreams for the rest of your life.

Will it rain all day?

[CaroPhoenix]

If you mean "rain" to be sputtering off and on all day, then yes. Actual rain? Only if you're in your shower.

What do I want now?

[BookstoreEscapee]

A Klondike bar and some pickle relish for dipping.

Why does the little weather gadget on my desktop say it's raining when it's not?

[XCashier]

It's the mission of all our little gadgets to slowly drive us insane.

How many fingers am I holding up?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Eleven.

Why do people think having a really loud engine is cool?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Eleven.

Why do people think having a really loud engine is cool?

They're actually tone deaf. They're the same people who get on American Idol and screech thinking they're singing. :doh:

Do I want to cut the cake now or wait until tomorrow?

[BookstoreEscapee]

It is tomorrow, so cut it now!!

Can I have some?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you dance an Irish Jig and look like Porky Pig while doing it.

How now brown cow?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Only if you dance an Irish Jig and look like Porky Pig while doing it.

How now brown cow?

Brown cow wanted it then, not now . . .

What's the best way to keep the Underwear Gnomes away?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Stop wearing underwear.

When do I get my money?

[CaroPhoenix]

When I write my bestselling sparkling wizard werewolf mystery comedy novel.

Sheesh?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yikes.

Why am I so calm when I am so angry?

[XCashier]

It's the calm before the storm.

Why is it that foods that are so bad for you taste so good?