View Full Version : Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!
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CaroPhoenix
08-24-2009, 12:26 PM
You just think they taste good; your taste buds are playing tricks on you again.
What is stuck on my foot?
BookstoreEscapee
08-24-2009, 11:51 PM
They're your toenails, dear.
Should I give a warning?
CaroPhoenix
08-25-2009, 08:59 AM
Nah, it's more fun to eat popcorn and laugh at those caught.
Who's really behind it?
BookstoreEscapee
08-25-2009, 10:18 PM
I am. Shhh.
Where have you been hiding?
CaroPhoenix
08-25-2009, 10:50 PM
The Twilight Zone.
Who has a scarey voice?
BookstoreEscapee
08-25-2009, 11:39 PM
Why, Richard Scarry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Scarry), of course.
How many fish in the sea?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-26-2009, 12:17 AM
Why, Richard Scarry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Scarry), of course.
How many fish in the sea?
Less than the amount of those who were caught but not thrown back.:p
Why does Wendyburger insist on sitting in the middle of the road?
CaroPhoenix
08-26-2009, 01:29 AM
They don't want to get to the other side.
Who is here to serve man?
BookstoreEscapee
08-26-2009, 02:07 AM
The Kanamits. (It's a cookbook!!!)
What's your best guess?
CaroPhoenix
08-26-2009, 12:49 PM
The square root of 6,948.
Can we build something?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-26-2009, 10:48 PM
Just go fetch Gene Hackman, Bob Villa and Tim "The Toolman" Taylor . . .and we'll demolish something instead.:p
Who wants to do the cooking tonight?
CaroPhoenix
08-26-2009, 11:24 PM
Taco Bell & McDonald's.
How do you test a memory?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-27-2009, 12:27 AM
A bonus round of Jeopardy followed by a half hour of Concentration.:p
How many DVD's can I stack before I reach the ceiling?
BookstoreEscapee
08-27-2009, 01:14 AM
3. It's a really low ceiling.
How can I kill without leaving a trace?
XCashier
08-27-2009, 03:19 AM
Don't kill anybody named Trace (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trace_Beaulieu)!
What'd he do to you anyway?
BookstoreEscapee
08-27-2009, 03:53 AM
I think it's best to keep it out of public discourse for the moment ;)
Will it happen?
CaroPhoenix
08-27-2009, 10:44 AM
The Magic 8 Ball says "Ask again later".
Why can't I think of anything to write?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-28-2009, 12:31 AM
The Magic 8 Ball says "Ask again later".
Why can't I think of anything to write?
See the answer above your question, except in your case it's got a sign hanging over it that reads: Gone Fishing:p
How many stars are in the sky on any given night?
BookstoreEscapee
08-28-2009, 01:51 AM
None. They're only there on a taken night.
Should I give it one more chance?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-29-2009, 01:41 AM
Probably not. It was already taken.
When will I be loved?
CaroPhoenix
08-29-2009, 03:17 AM
When the Love Bug meets the Love God.
Shifter or Changling?
Lace Neil Singer
08-29-2009, 06:41 PM
Shifter. I always wanted to be a shapeshifter; think of the fun you could have! ^^
Sonic or Shadow?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-30-2009, 04:35 PM
Neither. Go with the Schwartz . . .
If we fall into winter, how come we don't spring into summer?
BookstoreEscapee
08-30-2009, 05:39 PM
It's too hot for springing.
Do you realize?
CaroPhoenix
08-30-2009, 10:58 PM
Nope, it just seems to hit me in the middle of my forehead.
It's yucky?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-30-2009, 11:33 PM
No, it's icky enough as it is.
Will somebody please put something decent on tv so I don't have to look at "Bridezillas?" :help:
BookstoreEscapee
08-30-2009, 11:51 PM
Here you go: a black plastic bag.
Can't I just torch it all?
Lace Neil Singer
08-31-2009, 12:30 PM
Think of the children!
Why are most computer game plots so stupid?
CaroPhoenix
08-31-2009, 12:56 PM
Because the really smart people are coming up with new and improved reality shows.
What's happening today at 12?
DGoddessChardonnay
08-31-2009, 10:31 PM
What won't be happening at 1. . .
Is it strange that it's 67 degrees Farenheit outside and I'm wrapped up in a robe and pj's and it's still August?
XCashier
09-01-2009, 04:05 AM
Not if you're in Australia.
If the world didn't suck, would we all fall off?
Irving Patrick Freleigh
09-01-2009, 04:14 AM
Yes, because it would blow instead. :D
Why are pink-and-white frosted animal cookies so damn tasty?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-01-2009, 10:32 PM
Because they're female and to guys they taste good. . .
Why is it every time I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it goes out if I move closer?
Jack T. Chance
09-01-2009, 10:34 PM
Because they're female and to guys they taste good. . .
Why is it every time I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it goes out if I move closer?That's my fault, actually. My Dark Side powers occasionally blow out light bulbs. :sorry:
So you call this "your free country", tell me why it costs so much to live?
BookstoreEscapee
09-01-2009, 11:42 PM
Why is it every time I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, it goes out if I move closer?
Gotta be careful of the light (http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/08/31/funny-pictures-end-of-the-tunnel/) at the end of the tunnel...
So you call this "your free country", tell me why it costs so much to live?
It's all the cities...
Hey, what's for dinner?
CaroPhoenix
09-02-2009, 01:23 AM
Mothballs and lampshades.
I know?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-07-2009, 01:13 AM
You thought you knew . . . now you're not sure if you know what you know. But the Magic 8-Ball might. . .
Why can't I have daylight 24 hours a day?
CaroPhoenix
09-07-2009, 01:12 PM
Because vampires can't sparkle all the time.
I like my what with lemon juice?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-08-2009, 01:12 AM
Not what, dear, but whom. Might be a sour idea though.
Why are my shoulders still sore when I've taken 2 ibuprofen tablets a couple of hours ago?
BookstoreEscapee
09-08-2009, 02:30 AM
Why are my shoulders still sore when I've taken 2 ibuprofen tablets a couple of hours ago?
Cuz their shift hasn't started yet. They don't clock in until midnight.
I can haz cheezburger?
CaroPhoenix
09-08-2009, 11:42 AM
Nope only hamburgs are available at this time.
Can I now watch adult tv?
Nope only hamburgs are available at this time.
Can I now watch adult tv?
Yes, but it's just going to sit there. TVs are inanimate objects.
What if 2+2=5?
CaroPhoenix
09-10-2009, 10:02 AM
The world would re-start with cockroaches being at the top of the food chain.
I think therefore I am?
The world would re-start with cockroaches being at the top of the food chain.
I think therefore I am?
You think therefore I am wathing my handth in you.
Can I have a cookie?
CaroPhoenix
09-10-2009, 08:21 PM
Only if you have enough to also feed the starving children in Africa.
What do we need to cure your itch?
Only if you have enough to also feed the starving children in Africa.
What do we need to cure your itch?
Some molasses, strong tea, red pepper, pack it in salt for ten days. Should cure nicely and be delicious.
How does the Drake Equation help us study the prospects of extrasolar lifeforms?
CaroPhoenix
09-11-2009, 01:04 PM
It doesn't, it just proves that everyone hates french fries.
How can I make the world go away?
It doesn't, it just proves that everyone hates french fries.
How can I make the world go away?
By giving it enough gas to drive there.
Why is it always rainy over at the Munster's house?
CaroPhoenix
09-11-2009, 09:39 PM
They didn't live on the sunny side of the street.
Roger Dodger?
BookstoreEscapee
09-11-2009, 11:05 PM
No, Duck Dodgers (in the 24½th Century)!
Why did I have to burn my tongue?
No, Duck Dodgers (in the 24½th Century)!
Why did I have to burn my tongue?
It tastes better that way.
Why is my mother in law such an idiot?
CaroPhoenix
09-12-2009, 12:46 PM
Because you're lucky.
Why is my mother-in-law just plain ol' stoopid?
Because you're lucky.
Why is my mother-in-law just plain ol' stoopid?
Because not everyone likes barbeque flavored stupid.
Or perhaps, it's because then she'd point out that you spelled stupid wrong :: )
(ZING! Two-fer!!)
Why does my cat have to sit on my mouse-wielding arm everytime I'm at the computer?
BookstoreEscapee
09-12-2009, 04:10 PM
There is no "why" in cats.
Why can't things be resolved?
There is no "why" in cats.
Why can't things be resolved?
Because they were already solved, why go through is again?
Who to the what now?
BookstoreEscapee
09-13-2009, 12:17 AM
No, who the what is tomorrow. Now is when to the where.
Why have I been de-friended?!
CaroPhoenix
09-13-2009, 12:31 AM
Because I'm the only friend you'll ever need!
Why is my cat looking like a hen about to lay an egg?
RootedPhoenix
09-13-2009, 03:05 AM
Because I'm the only friend you'll ever need!
Why is my cat looking like a hen about to lay an egg?
first: :roll:
Because she's secretly a chicken and never told you.
Why are little kittens so cute?
BookstoreEscapee
09-13-2009, 03:41 AM
Why are little kittens so cute?
So you don't beat them when they scratch up the furniture.
What can I have to eat?
CaroPhoenix
09-13-2009, 11:57 AM
Anything that has been licked by 5-year-olds first.
Can I show you something on my computer?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-14-2009, 12:43 AM
Only if I get to show you what's on mine too.:p
What kind of guy could I put up with for the rest of my life?
CaroPhoenix
09-14-2009, 10:46 AM
The furry kind.
Who on Birdwell Island is over 10 feet tall?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-14-2009, 09:05 PM
Big Bird, of course.:D
Now where can I find such a furry mate?:p
BookstoreEscapee
09-14-2009, 11:00 PM
There are conventions for that sort of thing. Try there..
Should I send the letter or no?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-15-2009, 12:21 AM
Not unless you're sending numbers too . . . otherwise it wouldn't be fair to leave the numbers out.
How does the sun rise after it sets all night?
CaroPhoenix
09-15-2009, 01:43 AM
Very carefully.
Why is my husband lazy?
Very carefully.
Why is my husband lazy?
Because if he worked harder than you, YOU'D feel lazy. He's doing it for YOU.
Why is my father in law such a chump?
CaroPhoenix
09-15-2009, 10:22 AM
His real name is Change.
Where is home?
His real name is Change.
Where is home?
He's still standing next to Lwaxana Troy.
Why not?
CaroPhoenix
09-15-2009, 08:43 PM
Because I didn't say so.
Pickles?
BookstoreEscapee
09-15-2009, 11:19 PM
Yes, please!
Who do I thank for moving the Daily Show and Colbert Report reruns to 7:00?
Yes, please!
Who do I thank for moving the Daily Show and Colbert Report reruns to 7:00?
Jon Stewart's mom.
Doctor Livingston, I presume?
CaroPhoenix
09-16-2009, 09:59 AM
Nope, just his personal assistant.
What's like a diamond in the sky?
XCashier
09-16-2009, 02:21 PM
Lucy!
How can you tell?
CaroPhoenix
09-16-2009, 03:37 PM
With interpretive dance.
What do you want me to interpret?
With interpretive dance.
What do you want me to interpret?
My sock drawer.
Why are we going to kill the old red rooster when she comes?
CaroPhoenix
09-16-2009, 11:24 PM
Because the calamari was too "fresh".
How did you get all the way up there?
BookstoreEscapee
09-17-2009, 12:20 AM
Slingshot.
Now how do I get down?
XCashier
09-17-2009, 03:23 AM
Gravity.
Need a trampoline?
CaroPhoenix
09-17-2009, 11:29 AM
Nope, I'll just use this big bowl of jello.
What did you say?
Lace Neil Singer
09-17-2009, 06:53 PM
42.
Do all evil villains need to have a cheesy evil villain laugh in order to qualify as true evil villains?
CaroPhoenix
09-17-2009, 07:49 PM
OF course! It's in the officiall evil villains handbook.
Who is going to rescue me?
OF course! It's in the officiall evil villains handbook.
Who is going to rescue me?
Mr. Magoo, which raises a whole different set of problems.
Why can't dogs eat chocolate?
CaroPhoenix
09-19-2009, 10:25 AM
Because then they'd rule the universe.
Who is coming up soon?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-20-2009, 02:21 AM
Whoever is not coming down . . .
Why has today been so boring and dreary?
42_42_42
09-20-2009, 04:53 AM
Whoever is not coming down . . .
Why has today been so boring and dreary?
Because you have spent insufficient time worshipping me.
Why does every train have to blow it's whistle fifty bazillion times whilst it passes my house?
Because you have spent insufficient time worshipping me.
Why does every train have to blow it's whistle fifty bazillion times whilst it passes my house?
So you can't hear the crumbling of your house's foundation.
why should you look both ways before crossing the street?
CaroPhoenix
09-20-2009, 02:01 PM
To make sure the highway gnomes see you and they don't cause an accident.
What will you wish for on the wishing star?
To make sure the highway gnomes see you and they don't cause an accident.
What will you wish for on the wishing star?
A wishing rock.
Can I have a wishing rock?
BookstoreEscapee
09-20-2009, 03:32 PM
Sorry, wrong number. I am not the wishing star.
Should I get out of bed today?
RayvenQ
09-20-2009, 03:53 PM
Depends, did you get in bed today?
Do you think I'll go blind?
BookstoreEscapee
09-20-2009, 04:52 PM
No, I got in bed last night.
Yes, eventually you will go blind. When you're dead you won't be able to see anymore.
Will my car cost less than $100 to fix?
CaroPhoenix
09-20-2009, 05:45 PM
hahahahaha! Um ... hahahahahaha!
Is it my turn next?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-21-2009, 01:05 AM
hahahahaha! Um ... hahahahahaha!
Is it my turn next?
Your turn isn't scheduled to come around again until the 24th & 1/2 century . . . but then that's what happens when you take that left turn at Alberquerque.:p
Speaking of Loony Toons, did Sylvester ever learn that the "giant mouse" was actually a kangaroo?:lol:
CaroPhoenix
09-21-2009, 01:20 AM
Nope, but they're getting married next week, so we can ask him at that time in the wedding when the preacher asks if anyone has anything against the marriage.
Who figured out the riddle?
Bramble
09-21-2009, 01:55 AM
You did but then the black helicopter came for you and erased your memory so you don't remember!
Why does tomorrow have to be Monday?
42_42_42
09-21-2009, 03:38 AM
Because the people who print the calendars refuse to call it "Dammit, not this fucking shit again day."
Why do I keep having trouble sleeping?
Bramble
09-21-2009, 09:57 AM
Because the Sandman had an.....accident
Why does my cat love to poke me awake at night?
CaroPhoenix
09-21-2009, 12:00 PM
Your cat is making sure you're not dead.
What kind of adventures are waiting for me?
Bramble
09-21-2009, 10:28 PM
I'm sorry but that information is classified. I could tell you but I'd have to kill you.
Why does bacon taste so good?
BookstoreEscapee
09-21-2009, 11:02 PM
Because it's bad for you.
Will my car cost less than $100 to fix?
In case anyone was wondering, yes. Times 10. :cry:
I wish I could go somewhere far far away.
Bramble
09-21-2009, 11:33 PM
Too bad!;)
Why does my kitty have such a soft fuzzy tummy but hates it when I nuzzle?
CaroPhoenix
09-22-2009, 12:15 PM
Because in Mother Russia, cats nuzzle you!
What can I do all by myself?
Because in Mother Russia, cats nuzzle you!
What can I do all by myself?
Play Hide-And-Seek. A very LONG game of Hide-And_seek.
Why do cats hate dogs?
42_42_42
09-22-2009, 06:08 PM
Because dogs are onto their plans for world domination.
Why do dogs eat poop?
CaroPhoenix
09-22-2009, 07:50 PM
Because sometimes they have nothing else better to do.
Is this all wrong?
Bramble
09-22-2009, 11:37 PM
Yes. Yes it is!
Why is an orange orange?
Yes. Yes it is!
Why is an orange orange?
Because you'd feel stupid peeling a purple.
Whoooooooooooo are you? Who? Who? Who? Who?
42_42_42
09-23-2009, 07:22 AM
I yam what I yam.
Why?
CaroPhoenix
09-23-2009, 11:57 AM
Because Popeye is in the express lane with his 10 items of spinach behind a "lady" that has 350 items.
What is your bad habit?
What is your bad habit?
I don't wear one. I'm not a nun.
(rim shot)
Is it time yet?
BookstoreEscapee
09-26-2009, 12:55 AM
Five more minutes.
Why am I cold?
RootedPhoenix
09-26-2009, 05:58 AM
Because you shut yourself in the freezer.
Why doesn't fruit stay good forever?
CaroPhoenix
09-26-2009, 12:24 PM
Because then we'd have no ingredients for fruitcake.
Did we make sure everything fit?
42_42_42
09-27-2009, 02:11 AM
Yes, all 13 bodies fit into the trunk of your car. Had to disassemble a couple of them, though, you know, a head here, a hand there, a foot shoved in over there.
****washes blood and gore off of hands and changes clothes*****
:whistle:
By the way, what gets blood and entrails out of clothes?
BookstoreEscapee
09-27-2009, 02:41 AM
OXY CLEAN!!!
Why haven't I done anything productive today?
Jack T. Chance
09-27-2009, 03:38 AM
OXY CLEAN!!!
Why haven't I done anything productive today?'Cuz it's just another Lazy Saturday! :D
I know the Lazy day is traditionally Sunday, but it gets pre-empted during Football Season. ;)
Why me? :confused:
CaroPhoenix
09-27-2009, 01:52 PM
Because if it isn't you, then it'd be the little boy down the lane.
Do you like celery?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-28-2009, 01:39 AM
Because if it isn't you, then it'd be the little boy down the lane.
Do you like celery?
Not really. Doesn't run quite as smooth as the Intel Pentium III IMO.:p
Speaking of celery . . . if I took the Celeron processor out of my brother's desktop and replaced it with a carrot stick, would it run just as fast?:lol:
CaroPhoenix
09-28-2009, 02:32 AM
Yes, but only in months that have 31 days.
Is it mine?
BookstoreEscapee
09-28-2009, 02:45 AM
No, it's mine. GIVE IT BACK!!!
How do I change my life for the better?
CaroPhoenix
09-28-2009, 12:00 PM
By not following the example of Bugs Bunny, but learning all you can from the Abonimal Snowman from the Looney Tunes Cartoons.
Where is that whistling coming from?
BookstoreEscapee
09-28-2009, 04:48 PM
I don't hear any whistling...:whistle:
What should I do during my week off?
CaroPhoenix
09-28-2009, 05:46 PM
Take the place of Shamoo at Sea World.
Where exactly is Lunch Lady Land?
Bramble
09-29-2009, 01:33 AM
Somewhere under my bed!
Why is 2+2 4?
BookstoreEscapee
09-29-2009, 02:08 AM
Because 4-2=2
How do I get my roommate to stop sneezing?! gah!
CaroPhoenix
09-29-2009, 01:47 PM
Plug their nose and mouth with duct tape.
What if the pumpkin were softer?
42_42_42
09-29-2009, 05:49 PM
Then it would be pumpkin pie.
Do I *have* to clean the house?
BookstoreEscapee
09-29-2009, 06:01 PM
No. If you don't then someday you can be on that show "Hoarders" on A&E!
Can someone else clean my house?
CaroPhoenix
09-29-2009, 10:56 PM
Only if the dust bunnies don't hire someone first.
Are you following me?
BookstoreEscapee
09-29-2009, 10:58 PM
*hides around corner* No.
Should I make brownies?
Bramble
09-30-2009, 01:02 AM
Only if they're SPECIAL brownies!!
Should I start up a random song and dance at work tomorrow?
Professional Serf
09-30-2009, 01:30 AM
What, pole dancing for a living isn't enough?
Does this shirt make me look fat?
BookstoreEscapee
09-30-2009, 01:56 AM
No, but your socks do.
Will I have a happy birthday?
CaroPhoenix
09-30-2009, 12:22 PM
Of course you will 'cos your birthday is the same as mine!
Why am I sick?
BookstoreEscapee
09-30-2009, 06:06 PM
Something about germ theory and not washing hands properly and bad air at night...
Why can't I take a shower and clean my room at the same time?
Irving Patrick Freleigh
09-30-2009, 06:11 PM
Because your room will get all wet.
Why must one pass the dutchie on the left-hand side?
BookstoreEscapee
09-30-2009, 06:15 PM
Because the right-wing doesn't like that sort of thing. Damn liberals...;)
Why is it so dark in here?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-30-2009, 10:11 PM
You forgot to pay the electric bill and you ran out of candles.
Why can't I run away from home?
CaroPhoenix
09-30-2009, 10:18 PM
Because you're a turtle - your home is always with you.
Why won't you share with me?
DGoddessChardonnay
09-30-2009, 10:22 PM
Because I ran out . . . check back later after the truck comes tomorrow. . .
Who wants to fry the pork chops for dinner tonight?
CaroPhoenix
10-01-2009, 02:24 AM
Sure! I'll fry them in pancake batter and put a stick in them and sell them at the Texas State Fair next year!
Are the boys up to something?
XCashier
10-01-2009, 03:26 AM
Aren't they always?
When aren't they up to something?
CaroPhoenix
10-01-2009, 11:15 AM
When they're dead.
What is our second clue?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-01-2009, 09:52 PM
Usually the one that comes after the first clue but before the third one.
Do my cats hate me?
42_42_42
10-01-2009, 10:25 PM
Do my cats hate me?
Only insomuch as they are secretly plotting the taking over of the earth and the eventual demise of all humans. Otherwise, no.
If you mix a porcupine and a rabbit, what do you get?
Amina516
10-01-2009, 10:42 PM
Cool wHip. (emphasis on the H)
Why does my face hurt so much?
CaroPhoenix
10-01-2009, 10:44 PM
You broke an unbreakable mirror with it.
Am I cruel?
Professional Serf
10-01-2009, 10:58 PM
No, you're a friggin' stain...oh, I meant saint.....sorry!
Will I ever win the lottery?
Lace Neil Singer
10-01-2009, 11:47 PM
Only if you promise to cut me in on the proceeds.
Will there ever be a rainbow unicorn?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-02-2009, 12:14 AM
Only if it's made by Crayola . . .
Why is it I either have too much to do and not enough time to do it in OR too much time and not enough to do?
CaroPhoenix
10-02-2009, 01:31 AM
Because you can never pick a happy medium.
Why does my daughter love the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
42_42_42
10-02-2009, 05:25 AM
Why does my daughter love the Fresh Prince of Bel Air?
It's something that parents just don't understand.
Why is popcorn so tasty?
Red_Dazes
10-02-2009, 06:10 AM
Why is popcorn so tasty?
Because it is sprinkled with ground up fairies and seasoned with unicorn tears!
How come I can't seem to win ANY contest I enter?
CaroPhoenix
10-02-2009, 11:35 AM
The Contest Fairy hates you.
Now what do we do?
42_42_42
10-02-2009, 02:36 PM
Now what do we do?
First thing we do is kill all the lawyers.
Why are so many people so stupid?
thatcrazyredhead
10-02-2009, 06:13 PM
It's a secret government plan to thwart OPEC by introducing idiot-powered transportation!
Why am I stuck at work?
BookstoreEscapee
10-02-2009, 07:19 PM
Someone put superglue on your chair.
Why haven't I done anything productive?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-02-2009, 09:40 PM
Because today was marked "Be Counterproductive Day" on the calendar.:p
Why is it every time I decide to take off for at least one night away from home something ALWAYS goes berserk with my brother's PC?
CaroPhoenix
10-02-2009, 09:41 PM
Because the stars aren't aligned in Aquarius yet.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
BookstoreEscapee
10-02-2009, 11:58 PM
Run, then talk like an idiot when I get caught.
What did I do to my hair?!
CaroPhoenix
10-03-2009, 01:07 PM
The same thing Cameron Diaz did in the movie, "What about Mary?"
How are we going to save the baby dolphin?
42_42_42
10-03-2009, 07:39 PM
Tupperware.
Who pu the bop in the bop-she-bop-bop?
BookstoreEscapee
10-03-2009, 08:16 PM
Why, Baby Bop, of course!
What should I order for dinner tonight (goin' to a steakhouse for my birthday dinner!)?
Bramble
10-03-2009, 08:30 PM
Spaghetti and meatballs!
Am I evil for loving it when my cousins get the poo scared out of them in a Haunted House?
CaroPhoenix
10-04-2009, 06:07 AM
Nah, you're just nermal.
You're going to scare him with a little bottle of purple stuff?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-06-2009, 01:27 AM
Nah, you're just nermal.
You're going to scare him with a little bottle of purple stuff?
Somehow I don't think Barney will bat an eyelash . . .
Why can't I get unwound enough to go to sleep?
CaroPhoenix
10-06-2009, 01:30 AM
Because then all the king's horses and all the king's men would be too busy to put you back together again and will therefore neglect poor Humpty Dumpty.
What is a hit?
MannersMakethMan
10-07-2009, 08:46 PM
A hit is a thing you put on your hid to keep warm.
Should I go the extra stop down the line?
Professional Serf
10-08-2009, 01:51 AM
Absolutely not, slam on the brakes NOW!
Should I save a piece of cake for someone else?
CaroPhoenix
10-08-2009, 11:50 AM
Heck no! Enjoy the cake yourself and save everyone you know from the stomachache. :D
What book do you want me to read you at bed time?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-11-2009, 03:48 AM
A bedtime story . . . I need something to put me to sleep quickly. *yawn*
Why is it we have bedtime stories but no daytime stories?
Jack T. Chance
10-11-2009, 04:53 AM
A bedtime story . . . I need something to put me to sleep quickly. *yawn*How about watching 2001: A Space Odyssey? Every time I try to watch it, I fall asleep! :lol:Why is it we have bedtime stories but no daytime stories?Because the term "daydreams" sounds better! ;)
Why did the city of Baltimore have to schedule the annual Baltimore Marathon on the same weekend as the annual Baltimore Comic-Con? :confused:
BookstoreEscapee
10-11-2009, 04:11 PM
Cuz all those comic geeks need some exercise!
Why am I cold?
CaroPhoenix
10-11-2009, 04:42 PM
The sun forgot to pay it electric bill ... again!
Will the beaver build his lodge here?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-11-2009, 09:14 PM
Only if he gets to eat, shoot and leave afterwards.:p
Why is a sore elbow called tennis elbow and I don't even play tennis?
CaroPhoenix
10-14-2009, 11:44 AM
Because bowling elbow sounds too funny.
Where did my bedroom go?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-16-2009, 08:21 PM
It went to the den for a nap before dinner.
When is bedtime for Bonzo?
CaroPhoenix
10-16-2009, 10:06 PM
Half past a freckle and a quarter of a hair and eastern elbow time.
What's a Hoho?
BookstoreEscapee
10-16-2009, 10:38 PM
Siamese-twin Hookers.
When will the heat be turned on?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-16-2009, 10:40 PM
Santa's girlfriend, of course.:p
Speaking of the North Pole, do polar bears ever go sunbathing?
CaroPhoenix
10-19-2009, 12:05 PM
Only if they have the special self-tanning lotion.
Why does my mother dither?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-19-2009, 11:52 PM
Because your father dathers. She's the ying to his yang.:p
Would it be possible to wear a bikini in the summer on either the North or South Pole?
BookstoreEscapee
10-20-2009, 02:20 AM
It's possible. It'd probably be the last thing you ever wear, but you could wear it.
Will I ever get my act together?
hinakiba777
10-20-2009, 02:23 AM
Maybe, but the fire eater may cause your trouble.
Should i get a tatoo?
CaroPhoenix
10-20-2009, 12:00 PM
Only if it'll be licked on by kittens.
What's coming up on Playhouse Disney?
hinakiba777
10-20-2009, 06:46 PM
HANDY MANNY! I know i should be answering that wrong, but I love that channel so much! :D
Will I make a good elementary school teacher?
CaroPhoenix
10-20-2009, 07:18 PM
Only is you know that children are your superior.
Bless the people who read people who read people magazine?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-20-2009, 09:39 PM
Only if you're interesting in endless blessings . . .otherwise bless those who aren't celebrities. If I'm not making enough sense, you might want to consult with the Dali Lama.:p
Why do my trees always wait until after everyone else's trees have turned before they even start to change colors in the fall?
BookstoreEscapee
10-20-2009, 11:21 PM
They want to see what everyone else is wearing, first.
Why am I losing my voice?
hinakiba777
10-21-2009, 05:11 AM
You're not losing it. I'm STEALING IT!!!! mwahaha!
How am I ever going to stand actually living alone?
CaroPhoenix
10-21-2009, 11:03 AM
You don't have to stand, you can lie down or even sit living alone.
Do you know what we have to get?
Ashaela
10-21-2009, 06:09 PM
Do you know what we have to get?
A pink chihuahua with a designer purse and an attitude problem.
Where have all the flowers gone?
hinakiba777
10-22-2009, 03:41 AM
Warbrides! that's basically it.
Why is the sky dark at night?
RootedPhoenix
10-22-2009, 08:28 AM
Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacman).
Why am I so tired?
CaroPhoenix
10-22-2009, 11:59 AM
Because the moon is in the age of Aquarius and therefore means the music is too loud for you to get any decent sleep in at night.
Why ask why?
Lace Neil Singer
10-22-2009, 07:46 PM
Why not?
Have you ever eaten the yellow snow? o_O
CaroPhoenix
10-22-2009, 09:32 PM
Nope, but I did have a yellow sno cone once.
Does that count?
BookstoreEscapee
10-22-2009, 11:06 PM
No, snow cones are notoriously bad at math.
Why did I do that to my shoulder? :cry:
Green_Fairy
10-22-2009, 11:34 PM
Why did I do that to my shoulder? :cry:
you didn't do anything. the gremlins are really bastardly this year
why is there what looks like a thumb screw on my coffee table?
hinakiba777
10-22-2009, 11:49 PM
Your furniture is torturing your guests.
When will everyone stop being sick?
BookstoreEscapee
10-23-2009, 12:15 AM
Right after the world ends.
What is up with the vampires?
Green_Fairy
10-23-2009, 12:24 AM
i don't know but this will happen
http://www.pvponline.com/2009/10/16/milking-it/
if they never find the body is it still called murder?
BookstoreEscapee
10-23-2009, 01:32 AM
i don't know but this will happen
http://www.pvponline.com/2009/10/16/milking-it/
Hehe, that's funny. :p
if they never find the body is it still called murder?
only if it's a bunch of crows
What's the best part of waking up?
CaroPhoenix
10-23-2009, 09:38 AM
Finding out you haven't died in the meantime.
Why am I up at this ungodly hour?
Jack T. Chance
10-23-2009, 09:58 AM
Finding out you haven't died in the meantime.
Why am I up at this ungodly hour?To give me a reason to post something before I finally go to bed, of course! :D
Why are there so few people on internet message boards between, oh, say, midnight and 6 AM Eastern Time? I mean, sure, it's the middle of the night HERE, but there's PLENTY of people awake and aware in other parts of the world! :shrug:
CaroPhoenix
10-23-2009, 09:16 PM
They're too busy doing the macarena with a bunch of Arthur Fonzarelli clones.
What would Dora do without map?
BookstoreEscapee
10-23-2009, 10:27 PM
She'd get a GPS. Maps are so last century.
Why does one hand get cold when the other is fine?
Jack T. Chance
10-23-2009, 11:54 PM
She'd get a GPS. Maps are so last century.
Why does one hand get cold when the other is fine?Because you need to move it closer to the fire! ;)
Why haven't I won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes yet? :confused:
Green_Fairy
10-24-2009, 01:13 AM
Why haven't I won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes yet? :confused:
because ed mcmahon hates you like that
why are sharpies so damned permanent?
hinakiba777
10-24-2009, 04:06 AM
Because you'd be upset if all your labels disappeared
Why do I eat at such odd hours?
CaroPhoenix
10-24-2009, 11:16 AM
Because you're doing something else during the even ones.
What is scarier: Winie the Pooh or Mr. Rum without his shirt on?
Lace Neil Singer
10-24-2009, 09:49 PM
Mr Rum. Cuz if he was over here right now, anyone without a shirt on would be insane due to the freezing weather, and insane people are scary.
Why aren't butterflies made of butter?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-25-2009, 02:42 AM
Because buttermilkflies would't sound as pretty.
Why do I have one eye that keeps watering and the other one doesn't?
MannersMakethMan
10-25-2009, 09:47 AM
Because one set of eyelashes need watering and the other set doesn't.
Why is Captain Caps Lock haunting me at the moment?
CaroPhoenix
10-25-2009, 12:34 PM
Because he has nothing else better to do at this moment.
Do we really want to know who put the bomp in the bomp she bomp a bomp?
hinakiba777
10-25-2009, 10:21 PM
I did. But when I went to shake his hand, HE STOLE MY BABY!
Why is Glee so damn addictive?!
BookstoreEscapee
10-26-2009, 12:02 AM
Why is Glee so damn addictive?!
It's the pseudoephedrine.
Why can't I focus?
Irving Patrick Freleigh
10-26-2009, 01:22 AM
Why can't I focus?
Because your hens have the itch and your cows have the disorder.
Why have I had a stomachache on and off for the past three days?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-26-2009, 01:41 AM
Because your tummy has flies bugging it instead of bugs flying around in it.
Why can't I just "do it" like in the Nike commercials?
hinakiba777
10-26-2009, 04:50 AM
*snickers* You can if you want to, baby. ;)
Why 42?
CaroPhoenix
10-26-2009, 03:06 PM
Because 43 is just too much.
Do the answers really lie far from this world?
DGoddessChardonnay
10-27-2009, 12:22 AM
No, they're terrible at lying . . . besides, the truth usually comes out eventually.
Do I want to go get me a slice of Strawberry pound cake?
BookstoreEscapee
10-27-2009, 12:51 AM
No, you want to go get me a slice of strawberry pound cake.
There's a certified letter waiting for me at the post office...what are the odds it's a check for $7000?
CaroPhoenix
10-27-2009, 09:51 AM
The same odds as me meeting Keanu Reeves, marrying him, and having his babies.
Is that a hint of mint?
Green_Fairy
10-28-2009, 12:24 AM
no hinting about it. it's all about the mintage around here.
(and on that note, "mintage" isn't being spell checked. crazy.)
if a real dog eats a hotdog, is it cannibalism?
BookstoreEscapee
10-28-2009, 01:28 AM
no hinting about it. it's all about the mintage around here.
(and on that note, "mintage" isn't being spell checked. crazy.)
mintage: n
1. The act or process of minting coins.
2. Coins manufactured in a mint.
3. The fee paid to a mint by a government.
4. The impression stamped on a coin.
if a real dog eats a hotdog, is it cannibalism?
No, it's just lunch.
Why must you torture me so?
Green_Fairy
10-28-2009, 01:54 AM
mintage: n
1. The act or process of minting coins.
2. Coins manufactured in a mint.
3. The fee paid to a mint by a government.
4. The impression stamped on a coin.
hm. good to know.
Why must you torture me so?
pleasure is pain, doll. you'll learn to like it ;)
CaroPhoenix
11-01-2009, 02:50 PM
I'm pretending I'm playing Jeopardy: What are the safe words for the person above me?
Why did the person above me not leave a quesion in their post?
DGoddessChardonnay
11-01-2009, 07:07 PM
I'm pretending I'm playing Jeopardy: What are the safe words for the person above me?
Why did the person above me not leave a quesion in their post?
Perhaps they were distracted by something shiny . . .ooh look, a butterfly:p
Why do the leaves insist on making a huge mess in the road as well as all over the yard not two days AFTER the yard crew has come and cleaned up everything?
hinakiba777
11-02-2009, 07:52 AM
MESSES ARE FUN! *jumps in a leaf pile with a dorky grin*
What time is it Mr. Wolf?
BookstoreEscapee
11-02-2009, 11:22 PM
6:22 pm
Am I having a depressive relapse or is something else going on?
CaroPhoenix
11-02-2009, 11:51 PM
Ghost Bunny is haunting you!
Is there no escaping your shadow?
hinakiba777
11-03-2009, 01:20 AM
He can escape you, but not the other way around. Then you have to find a nice girl to sew him back on.
Pussy Cat Pussy cat where have you been?
XCashier
11-03-2009, 06:12 AM
Messing up your sock drawer.
Why is getting into mischief so darned much fun?
CaroPhoenix
11-03-2009, 02:17 PM
Because doing the unexpected is the new norm.
Are we going to help our friend?
XCashier
11-03-2009, 04:47 PM
Perhaps, if they know a good place to hide the body.
Where are we going and what's with the handbasket?
CaroPhoenix
11-03-2009, 05:37 PM
The grocery store - the halloween candy is now 50% off!
What was the name of the friend of the 7 dwarves?
Green_Fairy
11-03-2009, 06:23 PM
Kinky, the 8th dwarf
Why don't people do what they're supposed to do?
hinakiba777
11-03-2009, 10:24 PM
Because this is so much more fun. *licks pinecone*
How and When did who do what where?
CaroPhoenix
11-04-2009, 01:41 AM
Because the moon is in the 7th day of the 36th year of the Hoho.
Is our work here done?
hinakiba777
11-04-2009, 02:45 AM
NEVER!
Will you be my Fwend?
RootedPhoenix
11-04-2009, 10:27 AM
Yes, but only if you tell me the secrets of pinecone licking. :p
When will my piano tell me all its secrets?
Professional Serf
11-04-2009, 11:45 AM
When you find the right key.
Will the world end in 2012?
hinakiba777
11-04-2009, 08:45 PM
Personally I think the Mayans were just ENSLAVED before they could get any farther in their calendar.
Do you want to learn the secrets of Pinecone Licking?!
Green_Fairy
11-04-2009, 09:13 PM
nah...no need to lick a pine cone when i have a cucumber
is krod mandoon still on the air?
CaroPhoenix
11-05-2009, 05:01 PM
Nope, but the last I checked, he was still up in the air.
Who is the old guy with a measuring stick in the yard next to mine?
hinakiba777
11-05-2009, 08:07 PM
Alien Invader measuring for the new Galactic Highway.
have I ever told you you're my hero?
CaroPhoenix
11-05-2009, 11:23 PM
Heroes are overrated, I want to be an elf when I grow up.
When does Santa come to town?
BookstoreEscapee
11-05-2009, 11:50 PM
The day after Halloween, apparently ... :rolleyes:
Why does lasagna take so long to cook?
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