Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you throw lollipops at the screen,

Is dinner time really a magical time where families can get together?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Only if you're into black magic.:p

Why have I got a cat up here on the other side of the table washing his butt?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because it would be too awkward for him to lick your butt.

Whose daughter did we see?

[Green_Fairy]

jude law's

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[hinakiba777]

Because I said so!

Where are all the snickers?!

[CaroPhoenix]

Snickering silently sans somebody's snoodles.

Where is the island that the puppy's at?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Somehow I don't think the puppy is hiding out with the Dharma Initiative . . .:p

Do I really want to work on fanfic tonight or just listen to music?

[Nurian]

Both but somehow I think you'll get Naruto singing Hell's Bells.

When can I sleep?

[CaroPhoenix]

When the SandMan comes back from his extended vacation.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure or Dude, Where's My Car??

[RootedPhoenix]

The Amazing Tales of Fishing Line.

Why are some marigolds orange?

[CaroPhoenix]

The color naming color fairy is color blind.

Do you see that beautiful rainbow?

[Green_Fairy]

no, but i saw the double rainbow (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI)

wanna hear a song that makes me cry?

[CaroPhoenix]

Yes! Yes! OMG! A thousand times yes because then I can bottle those tears and sell them for a huuuuuge profit!

Are you lonesome tonight?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No. I have Howie Mandel and Sharon Osborne to keep me company.

Do you miss me tonight?

[Green_Fairy]

i miss you every night. you are my soul O.O

anyone have a good recipe for lemon frosting?

[hinakiba777]

Yes! It involves Pickle Brine!

Where is this relationship going?

[Dreamstalker]

Arf.

Why do most dogs hate the mailman?

[MoonCat]

Yes! It involves Pickle Brine!

Where is this relationship going?

Nowhere, it's gone.

Why do we pronounce "colonel" with an "r" sound?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why do most dogs hate the mailman?

Because they never bring the dog any mail.


Why do we pronounce "colonel" with an "r" sound?

Cuz we're spelling it wrong.

Should I turn on the air conditioner?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nope, you should just fold yourself into your freezer.

Why would I put my biscuits in the oven and my buns into bed?

[Magpie]

Because you didn't want another bun in the oven?

How come "lieutenant" is pronounced with an "f"?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because you didn't want another bun in the oven?

Bun? (http://epicute.com/2010/07/28/cute-food-photos-never-enough-bunny-buns/)


How come "lieutenant" is pronounced with an "f"?

It's an invisible F.

Why does my head still hurt?

[Green_Fairy]

might have something to do with the giant hole in the back of your head

what's better..."resurrection gauntlet" or "risen mitten"?

[CaroPhoenix]

Still Alive Jive!

You haven't seen my gym card, have you?

[ZedOmega]

It's over there by the pizza I just ordered.

Was that a little cruel?

[CaroPhoenix]

Costumes!

'cos costumes are always the answer, right?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Not necessarily the news there.

Why do I suddenly have a chill?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Someone slipped you a chill pill.

Why did I eat that?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because it was on a table with the words "Eat Me" on a placard next to it.

Does any know how to survive the "Terrible 7's"?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hide.

Will I find what I'm looking for?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you have a flashlight, a piece of chewing gum, a paperclip, a pencil and Richard Dean Anderson's hair from his "MacGuyver" days.

Will I get better if I try?

[hinakiba777]

Nope you just suck

Voulez Vous Couchez avec moi?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ummm... no, but on my better days I'm bi-lingual.

May I juggle the clementines?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Sure...you have to juggle the whole crate...

Why is my email spell check suddenly spelling in French? (Seriously...I couldn't figure out what was wrong with the word "delivered" and then I realized the spell check was set to French. I didn't do that...:blink:)

[Green_Fairy]

because your computer ate some bad cheese

why to evil people always insist on destroying everything? what's the point?

[CaroPhoenix]

They like being overlords of nothing.

What should we shout when we see food?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

FOOD FIGHT! :D

*tosses a pepperoni pizza at Rummy*

Do I want to go inside and fix myself a drink?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nope, you want the drink to come outside and fix itself.

Where is sleeping beauty sleeping?

[BookstoreEscapee]

In Baby Bear's bed.

Who's the fairest of them all?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I think that's a toss-up between love and war. Check back for the sequel.

Why is there nothing good on tv this afternoon?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because only the bad survive.

Hooray for baking friends?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hooray for baking friends?

Well, sure, if you can fit them in the oven...

Whodunnit?

[CaroPhoenix]

Isaiah Mustafa with a horse while swan diving out of his kitchen window.


What's a Charlie Brown?

[Green_Fairy]

2 shots of jack and a punch in the face

where did the sun go?

[CaroPhoenix]

It's hiding in the volcano.

Why can't my child just go to sleep!?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because her clock needs to be set correctly.

Why am I in the mood to watch really, really lame movies this weekend?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because her clock needs to be set correctly.

Why am I in the mood to watch really, really lame movies this weekend?Because we all have moods like that. You should check out the direct-to-DVD B-movie Ninja (2010) and let me know if it's any good! ;)

Godzilla or King Kong?

[Mytical]

Mike Tyson..neither of them wants to lose an ear.

What is the quickest way to get to get to D.C. from Ohio?

[CaroPhoenix]

In a handbasket down a very long chute that's on fire.

Where can I find a magic book?

[Green_Fairy]

under your mattress

why can't i have wiiiiings?

[BookstoreEscapee]

There's no more Red Bull.

Will I ever get a life?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you break down and buy the boardgame.

Anyone want my life?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ummm . . . I think I'll just keep the crappy one I've got.

So I guess I can't give my life away either, huh?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you wrap it up in christmas paper and leave it in the passenger seat of your car in a really shady part of town.

What will make you feel good in every way?

[Jack T. Chance]

Only if you wrap it up in christmas paper and leave it in the passenger seat of your car in a really shady part of town.

What will make you feel good in every way?Dr. Feelgood! He's the one to call! ;)

If my body's gonna fall apart, why can't it just have the decency to make me die from it and get it over with? :confused:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

It finds more satisfaction in letting your live and suffer while your body is falling apart.

Will I ever see the rain?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No. It's ninja rain.

Where have all the cowboys gone?

[Jack T. Chance]

No. It's ninja rain.

Where have all the cowboys gone?They're coming to DC to play against the Washington RedDeadskins! :rolleyes:

The real question is, where have all the good, logical, SANE women gone? :confused:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

They're riding with all the cowboys.

Who will you run to?

[CaroPhoenix]

That guy ... there ... no no, not that one ... the other one, with the baseball cap and hockey mask and chain saw.

How many fools has Mr. T actually pitied?

[hinakiba777]

673

Where do ice headaches come from?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Uranus or Pluto.:p

Do I really want to go to bed just yet?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No you want to watch Hoarders with me so you can have nightmares of cockroaches and possums in your house.

Will the doctor say my eyes are fine on Friday?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you take them out and keep then in saran wrap.

Will I survive the first day of school?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Actually, the question should be: will the first day of school survive YOU.:p

Answer on that is: it depends on which way the wind blows.

Is anyone here interested in cooking dinner at my house tonight?:p

[BookstoreEscapee]

I just had cheese and crackers, so uh, no.

What else should I have?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

What goes perfectly with cheese and crackers of course:

plenty of Whine . . . .:p

Why is Rover sleeping under my chair?

[Green_Fairy]

because he likes the way your butt smells

should i start the smoking jacket i promised my friend 2 years ago?

[BookstoreEscapee]

because he likes the way your butt smells

should i start the smoking jacket i promised my friend 2 years ago?

Yes, just keep the fire extinguisher handy.

Should I watch a movie tonight?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sure . . . but beware . . . the movie may be watching YOU.:p

Which way is up?

[Green_Fairy]

ORANGE!!

what's that weird noise coming from downstairs?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That was the neighbor losing the battle with that new Mexican restaurant he tried out. . .not the kind of symphony one wants to hear. :fart:

Does everybody fart, including fictional characters?:p

[Jack T. Chance]

That was the neighbor losing the battle with that new Mexican restaurant he tried out. . .not the kind of symphony one wants to hear. :fart:

Does everybody fart, including fictional characters?:pYes, that's where the "old book smell" comes from! :p

What the hell am I supposed to do now? :confused:

[dmf]

I don't know what you should do,. But whatever you do, don't look behind you.

Should I become a woman?

[Green_Fairy]

do you feel like a woman?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nope but I can feel Dr. Feelgood.

Why am I here?

[Green_Fairy]

you're not

so where is she?

[Jack T. Chance]

you're not

so where is she?She's dead, that's where! You know why? 'Cuz I killed her! Do you hear me? I KILLED HER!!! :devil:

Why for thou hit Taz in the dark, dark cave? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Nuh uh! It was Wil E. Coyote AND the Roadrunner in Jerry's mousehole, if you want to know.

Do you really want to know?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Probably not. Especially after finding out what the old book smell actually is . . .

But if fictional characters fart in books, what about if the stories are online? :shrug:

[Green_Fairy]

well, they eat a lot of cookies, so i'm guessing they do

if i work out tonight, will my cramps go away?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nope they will be Sly Stallone stronger.

Can I watch Sonic Colors?

[XCashier]

Not on your black & white TV, you can't!

Why is my cat such a spaz?

[CaroPhoenix]

It think it's my husband, Mr. Rum.

How did you lose the girl?

[Jack T. Chance]

It think it's my husband, Mr. Rum.

How did you lose the girl?If I knew that, I'd have made sure I didn't do it, and I'd still have her! :ashamed:

Why me, and why now? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

It's your turn.

Will I make it through tomorrow without fainting?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

*checks Magic 8-Ball*

Says "Out To Lunch. Be back in 1 hour.":p

Will I have a good day at work tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

If by good day you mean brimstone and hellfire will fall directly on you, then yes, you will have a good day.

Where's the biff?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Where's the biff?

Hangin' with Jesus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb:_The_Gospel_According_to_Biff,_Christ's_Child hood_Pal), man!

When will my pupils go back to their normal size?

(By the way, I didn't faint, in case you were wondering.)

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When your blood goes back down from your brain . . .

Who do I want to watch on tv tonight?

[CaroPhoenix]

The dog licking the screen.

Why do my knees hurt?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

They flipped a quarter with your lower back and lost.

Why are some of the trees around here already shedding their leaves?

[BookstoreEscapee]

They've decided to become strippers to make some extra cash.

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

[Green_Fairy]

knitters

why does my pandora station keep playing songs from gLee?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the station knows you like it ... deep down in your gut.

What is Mr. T's real name?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I Pitythefool.:p

Now why was it I was watching that marathon of the last season of the A-Team both Saturday and Sunday?:p

[CaroPhoenix]

Because your TV only recognizes the awesomest of awesomes TV shows.

Why can't I have a stunt double?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because your employer doesn't want to pay you double - same as mine.:p

Why do I have the urge to throw my store manager into a dumpster?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because that's the only place you could find someone to date him.

What would the title of the show be about my life?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

A Day in the Life of Idrinkarum . . . now 80 Proof:p

Now what would a good title for the story of my life be?

[superhotelworker]

A heart of glass... full of wine? (Sorry, your name. I can't help it)

Why is my computer making weird sounds?

[ParkingWitch]

Why is my computer making weird sounds?

The gnomes are trying to keep the magic smoke from escaping.

Why bother?

[superhotelworker]

Because Snape said so. (Sorry, no sleep) :P

Where's my coffee?

[CaroPhoenix]

With me! And you're never ever getting it back! Hahahahaha!

Do you love him?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Depends on who "him" is . . .

Why did I feel like Taco Bell tonight for dinner?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because your tummy wanted some real food in it.

Why can't you wipe your friends on your saddle?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because real friends don't wipe saddles . . . they ride them.:angel:

Why do I suddenly feel peaceful right now?

[CaroPhoenix]

It's the calm before the Jaws attack!

Do you feel surprised?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Only if it's a good surprise.:p

What am I going to get accomplished over the weekend while I'm off from work?

[CaroPhoenix]

Giving me the migraine of my lifetime! GRRRRR! :D

What is the cure?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Don't forget who you are . . . Idrinkarum.:p

Do I want to get up just yet and get started on the house?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No you want to sleep in and pretend the house is not there.


Should I go to the mall and stalk talk to the guy?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sure . . . if you have bail money handy and a lawyer on standby to get you out of the stalking charges.

Why am I getting chilly out here?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because you ordered the chili, did you forget already?

Why do I feel like I'm in middle school?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because guys still have cooties when you're 12 . . .

Why am I bored right now?

[BookstoreEscapee]

(no cooties, just cutie ;))

Because there's nothing to do.

Will I get some reading done before bed?

[CaroPhoenix]

Just what's written on the bathroom walls.

When will the pumpkin patch be opened?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When the moon is just right and Linus is out there waiting on the arrival of The Great Pumpkin.:p

Where did The Great Pumpkin come from, anyways?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Spoiler Alert: The Great Pumpkin never shows.

Will I get home from doing laundry before freakin' 9pm?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sure. But then you discover your watch stopped and it's actually 9 a.m.

Do I want to go inside and fix a drink or not?

[CaroPhoenix]

In Soviet Russia, the drink fixes you!

What does that exactly mean? :confused:

[Magpie]

It means you need another drink.

Why don't I feel any motivation?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the sky is orange, the cows are purple, and Mr. Rum is coming home on time tonight!

What would happen if Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T at the same time Mr. T was pitying Chuck Norris?

[Magpie]

The end of the world as we know it. Pray it never happens.

Why haven't I gone home yet?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because your home hasn't called you back yet.:p

If Peter picked a peck of pickled peppers, then how much is a peck?

[CaroPhoenix]

The amount of the 3 blind mice tails.

Honey, honey don't ... stop?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Believing.:p

Believe it and it will be true.:wave:

Do I want to know if Wendyburger is sleeping on the side of the road again in the shade?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ummm ... no ... cause she's not sleeping...and OMG!

What is that on top of her!?

[Silvonas]

The air...or the grass depending how you look at it.

Why do people with closed minds have open mouths?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because they are the world and they like to keep giving.

What should I give away today?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Whatever hasn't been taken and nobody else wants.

Why do my legs feel so scaly and itchy?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You're turning into a snake.

What excuse can I use to go back to the mall next?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You're turning into a snake.

What excuse can I use to go back to the mall next?

You're an exterminator and you're searching for mallrats. Just make sure you're wearing a uniform and carrying that large can of spray with the long hose to look more convincing.:p

Why does this breeze feel so good out here right now?

[CaroPhoenix]

That's not a breeze that's the fetid breath of a mouth-breathing, soul-eating, head-crushing SC! Run away! :runaway:

What is Saturn's rings made of?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cubic zirconium. You were totally ripped off, man.

Why is my freezer not freezing?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because someone set its night on fire and now it's HOT, HOT, HOT.:eek:

Am I seeing lightning flashes off in the distance?

[BookstoreEscapee]

If you're looking towards New Jersey you are!

Will the chair blow off my balcony?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

No but the wind will suck it until it comes off.:p

Should I test whether or not my laptop is waterproof?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Sure go for it.

What's the worst that could happen?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

What will happen half an hour from now?

[BookstoreEscapee]

There will be brownies.

What should I have for dinner?

[CaroPhoenix]

Cottage cheese, grapes and beets!

Why does my tailbone hurt?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because your hip bone yelled at it and hurt its feelings . . .

When will the weather here start to feel more like fall instead of mid summer?

[CaroPhoenix]

When it's mid-summer 2013.

What do you think about that?

[TelephoneAngel]

"That".Hmm. It's not a word I think about a lot.

Why aren't I selling stuff for loads of moneyon ebay?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because eBay is secretly plotting against you and keeping all the good buyers away.

Why was Susie selling seashells by the seashore?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because Peter Piper picked her pepper.

Do you want to play with me too?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

It would be more fun than playing with myself.:p

Why does my head hurt every time rain comes in?

[ZedOmega]

Because 'rain' in solid form is called 'hail' and is supposed to hurt. Incidentally, you should hire a roofer ASAP.

Did I ever mention the time I gave a starving puppy the rest of my burger?

[CaroPhoenix]

And he sued you because wanted a 12 course Thanksgiving meal instead.

What can I find to make music?

[surreal20]

What can I find to make music?

a caterpillar with some spoons.

Why can't i see wind?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because it's undercover.:p

Why am I hanging out here when I could be working on a story?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the story keeps putting you to sleep.

Where are we going that will be an awesome adventure?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Anywhere but here . . . jut let your imagination soar.:p

Why am I chilly and the heat is on in the house?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because you and I are in the same house and Jack Frost is our newest housemate.

Why did Olivia make my daughter cry?

[ZedOmega]

Dude, watching Disney movies made me cry at that age. Three Looney Tunes DVDs and she should be right as rain.

...man, why do I have this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tapzwyMgziE) stuck in my head now?!

[CaroPhoenix]

I have no clue, but I think it's really catchy and has a great dancing beat! :p

Why am I in such a fowl mood today?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because you had chicken for dinner.:p

*ducks and hides under the bed covers*

Did my Mom start a chain reaction last week when we had the run-in with the deer?

[ZedOmega]

It wasn't a deer, it was a crazy guy dressed up as one thinking it was Christmas already.

Hey, everybody, where did Mary go? Where did Mary go? And where's my only cigarette? (Cookies for the reference...)

[CaroPhoenix]

Mary and the cigarette have been deployed to the land of Far, Far Away to smoke out the new Prince Charming of the Land.

Why didn't I get Zed's reference comment?

[nonyafukkinbizniz]

Why is the sky blue?

Because it's always rude.


Why is the 25th letter of the alphabet.

[42_42_42]

Why is the 25th letter of the alphabet.

Because otherwise the end of the alphabet's ex-zee.

:rimshot:



Ho-ho-ho, who wouldn't go?

[CaroPhoenix]

Tiny Tim to the Dance-Off at Al's Soda Fountain.

Did we have a great day?

[Green_Fairy]

we were a brat all day, so not so much

why were the pillow pets invented? WHHHYYYYY!!??!?!

[CaroPhoenix]

So everyone could have them in their houses to love and hold and cuddle and name George!

What is wrong with my husband?

[Green_Fairy]

long answer or short answer?

[CaroPhoenix]

The intermediate one with lots of pictures. :lol:

Why are the landlubbers lying down below?

[Daemonmonkey]

Because if the landlubbers were to ly up above, they'd defy gravity.


Why is Snow White?

[XCashier]

Well, Mr White loved Mrs White very much, and one thing led to another... :o

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

[CaroPhoenix]

The bare minimum to make me look like the angel I really am. :D

What did Spike & Angel want with my Black Lotus?

[Bramble]

You really don't want to know the answer to that question......


Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[CaroPhoenix]

42 foot high tangerines!

What equipment should I be working on?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Anything that's not broke, fix it.:p

How do we fix the thingamabob with the whatchagigger?

[CaroPhoenix]

With the thromboozler and tinka-tots.

Now why did I know how to do that?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

'Cause somewhere, somebody was crazy/stupid/drunk enough to try it first?:p

Has anyone seen the rain?

[CaroPhoenix]

I've seen the rain in Spain that falls mainly on the plain Jane who is a pain ...

How can finish the sentence above?

[hinakiba777]

Lemon Juice!

What was that sound? :eek:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Somebody having a brain fart, I reckon.:p

Why am I sitting here on the bed when I can be outside in my rocking chair?

[hinakiba777]

The rocking chair is haunted!

Why does it itch?!