Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!

[DesignFox]

Sir Robyn of Camelot.

What is your quest?

[crazylegs]

Sir Robyn of Camelot.

What is your quest?

To be genial and pleasant at all times.

Who are you?

[Severen13]

Who are you?

I dunno. Who the hell are you?


Why do April showers bring May flowers?

[crazylegs]

I dunno. Who the hell are you?


Why do April showers bring May flowers?

Because Maybugs are icky.

Who shot JFK?

[ralerin]

YOUR MOM.

Can you define "Supercalifragalisticexpealidocious?"

[crazylegs]

YOUR MOM.

Can you define "Supercalifragalisticexpealidocious?"

Yep, The Absence of Meaning.

Are you a secret squirel?

[Severen13]

Are you a secret squirel?

No, I'm a Magical Marmot.


Why do spiders have eight legs?

[crazylegs]

No, I'm a Magical Marmot.


Why do spiders have eight legs?

Because they'd look silly with only one.

Who'da thunk it?

[Amina516]

Because they'd look silly with only one.

Who'da thunk it?

Willy Wonka and the everlasting gobstopper.


How can I get rid of my runny nose? :(

[BookstoreEscapee]

Break its legs.

When will then be now?

[Jack T. Chance]

Break its legs.

When will then be now?Right about........... NOW! ;)

When will now be then?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Later.

What's the square root of onion?

[SengaKitty]

Beet

What's a night without starshine?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Sorry, no, the answer is "shallots"...

A night without starshine is darker than usual.

Can you guess who's coming to dinner?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sorry, no, the answer is "shallots"...

A night without starshine is darker than usual.

Can you guess who's coming to dinner?

Probably not but then I'm not the cook

What does "I don't know" look like?

[Jack T. Chance]

Sorry, no, the answer is "shallots"...

A night without starshine is darker than usual.

Can you guess who's coming to dinner?Ummm...

Hmmm...

let's see here....

could it beeee.....

SATAN?!?

http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n257/OrangeClouds_115/church_lady.jpg

;)

Here's a tough one...

when will this damn recession be over?!? :confused:Probably not but then I'm not the cook

What does "I don't know" look like?JINX!!!!

How dare you post while I was looking for the picture to insert into my post! :p

As for your question...

I think Ozzy Osbourne said it best...

"Don't ask me, I don't know!" :devil:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ummm...

Hmmm...

let's see here....

could it beeee.....

SATAN?!?

http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n257/OrangeClouds_115/church_lady.jpg

;)

Here's a tough one...

when will this damn recession be over?!? :confused:

Hopefully before I'm old enough for Social Security.

How far is the range on a cordless phone?

[Jack T. Chance]

Hopefully before I'm old enough for Social Security.

How far is the range on a cordless phone?Never long enough for all the crazy stuff I have planned for misusing it! :devil:

When will people in the DC area finally just get over themselves?!? :confused:

[Severen13]

When will people in the DC area finally just get over themselves?!?

When they finally just get under themselves.

(I live in DC. I'm assuming that *cough* the above question doesn't apply to me)


Why do cats see in the dark?

[Jack T. Chance]

When they finally just get under themselves.

(I live in DC. I'm assuming that *cough* the above question doesn't apply to me)You assume correctly... Even though, as a general rule, you should never assume. ;)

I figured everyone here would just take it as read that by "people" I really meant "sucky customers". Looks like I should have been more specific. :oWhy do cats see in the dark?2 words: Terminator Vision. ;)

This weekend, the bargain-hunting zombies will be out in force! When they come for you, how will you survive? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hit them with a Buy One Get One Free sign.

Who's the boss?

[Crazeyal]

Who's the boss?It used to be Bruce Springsteen. He retired. It is now Gene Simmons.

:devil:





Doya do ya doya do ya wanna dance?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Sorry, my dance card is full.

Can a match box?

[Severen13]

Sorry, my dance card is full.

Can a match box?

No, but my lighter can waltz.


What would Scooby do?

[Crazeyal]

What would Scooby do?Rhy RATE Rubby Roo. Rhene Realin Ruther RUCKER!!!











Can Rapscallion come out to play??

[DesignFox]

Can Rapscallion come out to play??
Nope. He's been very naughty this year, so I've confined him to his room.

:p

Why don't we get drunk and screw?

[Jack T. Chance]

Nope. He's been very naughty this year, so I've confined him to his room.

:p

Why don't we get drunk and screw?'Cause I don't drink, partly because I find screwing more enjoyable when I can REMEMBER IT the next morning! ;)

Hoof arted?

[CaroPhoenix]

'Cause I don't drink, partly because I find screwing more enjoyable when I can REMEMBER IT the next morning! ;)

Hoof arted?

Rudolph!

Why am I here?

[Crazeyal]

Why am I here?

There is no spoon.






Blue pill or red pill?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Blue!!

Why is the room spinning?

[Jack T. Chance]

Blue!!

Why is the room spinning?Because I converted it into a merry-go-round! :devil:

Why do ALL the customers suck this weekend? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because I converted it into a merry-go-round! :devil:

Why do ALL the customers suck this weekend? :confused:

Because they missed the short bus this weekend and have to stay in town.

Eartha Kitt or Julie Newmar?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because they missed the short bus this weekend and have to stay in town.

Eartha Kitt or Julie Newmar?If I could time travel back to the swingin' '60s... BOTH! :devil:

KITT (Knight Industries Two-Thousand) or new KITT (Knight Industries Three-Thousand)?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

If I could time travel back to the swingin' '60s... BOTH! :devil:

KITT (Knight Industries Two-Thousand) or new KITT (Knight Industries Three-Thousand)?

Neither. You want the Bandit and the Snowman, especially if you're trying to outrun the smokies:p

Why do I have 300 channels of crap on this satellite receiver?

[Becks]

Root beer.

Why do I not like my job?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Root beer.

Why do I not like my job?

Not enough boobs

Plain or penut M&M's?

[BookstoreEscapee]

W&Ws

What's the seventh letter of the alphabet?

[XCashier]

What's the seventh letter of the alphabet?
ж (you didn't specify which alphabet!)

What's your name, who's your daddy?

[crazylegs]

ж (you didn't specify which alphabet!)

What's your name, who's your daddy?

Harry. The milkman.

Who'll win the Gold Cup this year?

[DesignFox]

Harry. The milkman.

Who'll win the Gold Cup this year?

The San Francisco Treat!

*sings* Do you wanna...do you wanna make loooove to me???

[Bandit]

Who'll win the Gold Cup this year?

Elvis Presley and Jim Morrison.


Why is a Tim Horton's Double-Double like crack?

B

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz Horton heard the Who.

Did you know that Vincent Donofrio plays Thor in Adventures in Babysitting? :lol:

[DesignFox]

Cuz Horton heard the Who.

Did you know that Vincent Donofrio plays Thor in Adventures in Babysitting? :lol:

I don't know who that is. but I LOOOOVE that movie!

So. Since no one answered it, I'm gonna ask again...

*sing* do you wanna...do you wanna...do you wanna make looooove to me!?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Uh, no, I don't swing that way, sorry...

Do ya think I'm sexy?

[Crazeyal]

Do ya think I'm sexy?Not only are you not sexy, but the mere idea of you has driven species to EXTINCTION... So PLEASE pull up your pants...



Can I get a hug??

[BookstoreEscapee]

Not after that comment you can't!!!

Do you want my body?

[CaroPhoenix]

Not after that comment you can't!!!

Do you want my body?

Yes, I do want your body ....


In the backseat of a Yugo while it's going over a cliff. :p





Why am I such an angel?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz of all the bells ringing.

Why does everyone hate me tonight?

[Jack T. Chance]

Cuz of all the bells ringing.

Why does everyone hate me tonight?Because they got the bad acid? :rolleyes:

FWIW, I do NOT hate you... You're A-OK in my book! :D

And now for the $10,000 question...

Why did all the customers hate me this weekend? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because they're customers. Ergo, they suck.

What's the sound of music?

[Crazeyal]

What's the sound of music?Julie Andrews NOT whipping her 70 year old boobs out.. I can tellya THAT MUCH!!




Is it me, or does someone NOT get the WRONG ANSWERS part of this thread??? (in case you don't get it.. that means we actually dig ya!!http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/teufel/devil-smiley-041.gif )

[CaroPhoenix]

Is it me, or does someone NOT get the WRONG ANSWERS part of this thread??? ?

Wrong answers? I'm supposed to supply wrong answers now!? :lol:

Should I go to bed now?

[Crazeyal]

Should I go to bed now?No.. right here is fine...

BEND OVER


http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/teufel/devil-smiley-041.gif







It's the simple pleasures that get you arrested... Isn't it??

[DesignFox]

It's the simple pleasures that get you arrested... Isn't it??

Unless you're me. But I can't give you any details...evidence is a bad thing.

Where'd my honey disappear to?

[evilfarmer]

Where'd my honey disappear to?

where all honey goes...to the land of milk and honey :angel:



Why do I work night shift?

[derangedperson]

Where'd my honey disappear to?

Your mom.

What's the word?

[CaroPhoenix]

Your mom.

What's the word?

Cigar.

What is an old school game?

[crazylegs]

Cigar.

What is an old school game?

Rounders.

What's the Big Mac secret sauce...?

[DesignFox]

Rounders.

What's the Big Mac secret sauce...?

Worm Eggs!

Why does my tummy hurt? :cry:

[crazylegs]

Worm Eggs!

Why does my tummy hurt? :cry:

Because you were mean to it.

Will I go to bed soon?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No you have to sleep standing up.


Is it me, or does someone NOT get the WRONG ANSWERS part of this thread??? (in case you don't get it.. that means we actually dig ya!!http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/teufel/devil-smiley-041.gif )


:p

:o

What sound does a bell make?

[Jack T. Chance]

No you have to sleep standing up.




:p

:o

What sound does a bell make?Diz-to-the-ing-to-the-izzle, y'all! :lol:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

[Dreamstalker]

42.

How long is a piece of string?

[CaroPhoenix]

42.

How long is a piece of string?

Tangerine!

Who is cooler - Vader or Q?

[Bandit]

Who is cooler - Vader or Q?

Elvis

Is Big Brother watching?

B

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, I am. :wave:

How do you kill a werewolf?

[CaroPhoenix]

No, I am. :wave:

How do you kill a werewolf?

Liquid Nitrogen.

What is a tarzena?

[Jack T. Chance]

Liquid Nitrogen.

What is a tarzena?The love child of Tarzan and Xena! ;)

Do you know where your towel is?

[XCashier]

Which one?

Why do fools fall in love?

[Crazeyal]

Why do fools fall in love?

Men fall in love for Sex.
Women fall in love for Romance.
:censored" (I'd soooooooooooooooo get a month's vacation for that one)
Animals fall in love for nummies.


Fools fall in love for $15... Everlasting love is you include the happy ending... Pat...







Why doesn't a Hummer involve humming?

[Jack T. Chance]

Why doesn't a Hummer involve humming?Because it doesn't know the tune! ;)

What would you doooo... For a Klondike bar?

[XCashier]

Go to the store and buy one.

Whoa-oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?

[Crazeyal]

This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was
And they keep on singing it forever just because


anyone got an asprin??

[McGoddess09]

anyone got an asprin??

I have painkillers. Will that work?

So. How YOU doin'?

[DesignFox]

I have painkillers. Will that work?

So. How YOU doin'?

i dont know.

There's a hole in my bucket.... With what shall I fix it?

[crazylegs]

i dont know.

There's a hole in my bucket.... With what shall I fix it?

meth.

How crazy are my legs?

[Jack T. Chance]

meth.

How crazy are my legs?Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a rubber room! I died there!
Crazy? I was crazy once! They put me in a rubber room! I died there!

:bounce:

What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

[crazylegs]

What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

1 mile a picosecond

Are you me?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, you are me.

Why did crazeyal have to post that song??!! :hairpull:

[Jack T. Chance]

No, you are me.

Why did crazeyal have to post that song??!! :hairpull:'Cause he wants everyone ELSE to go crazy, too! ;)

Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Only if it's a hot pepper...:eyewaggle:

What should I do about my sticky Mickey?


What? I got icing on my Disney socks!

[Jack T. Chance]

Only if it's a hot pepper...:eyewaggle:

What should I do about my sticky Mickey?


What? I got icing on my Disney socks!Apply Goo Gone™. Rinse/wipe off. Repeat if necessary. ;)

Who is infamous for creating the Worst Poetry in the Universe?

[XCashier]

Either the Vogons or William Topaz McGonagall.

Will you still love me tomorrow?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No. But maybe the day after that...

Can I believe the magic of your sighs?

[DesignFox]

Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Yes, but it is eeeevil magic. mwhahahaha.

Do you trust me?

[Plaidman]

Did Crazeyal just get banned from posting that song?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I was wondering the same thing...

How do I get it out of my head? :headdesk:

[crazylegs]

I was wondering the same thing...

How do I get it out of my head? :headdesk:

With a drill.

What shall I do with my rest days (five)?

[DesignFox]

With a drill.

What shall I do with my rest days (five)?

Jump tall buildings in a single bound.

Why did my last question get ignored? :p

[crazylegs]

Jump tall buildings in a single bound.

Why did my last question get ignored? :p

Turnip conspiracy theory.

Why waccy baccy?

[CaroPhoenix]

Turnip conspiracy theory.

Why waccy baccy?

The Waco Taco.

Wario or Mario?

[Bramble]

Yoshi. How now brown cow?

[Bandit]

Yoshi. How now brown cow?

Cook it blue, please.

What would freeze the nuts off a brass monkey?

B

[Bramble]

a cold squirrel. why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

[Trayol]

It makes jaywalking easier.

Why are women always right?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because the English drive on the left.

What's eating Gilbert Grape?

[Bramble]

Barry Banana. why do cats get stuck in trees?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz of the sap.

Why is there only crap on TV?

[crazylegs]

Cuz of the sap.

Why is there only crap on TV?

Because you've not trained the dog right.

Why am I so tired?

[DesignFox]

Because you've not trained the dog right.

Why am I so tired?

Wouldn't the rest of us like to know. :eyewaggle:

What's wrong with this picture?

[crazylegs]

Wouldn't the rest of us like to know. :eyewaggle:

What's wrong with this picture?

It's blank.

Why shouldn't I adjust my TV set when the Twilight Zone starts...?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz if you do you'll be stuck there forever.

Why do I cry?

[crazylegs]

Cuz if you do you'll be stuck there forever.

Why do I cry?

Because you dropped a weasel down the front of your trousers.

Why am I feeling more than slightly surreal tonight...?

[DesignFox]

Because you dropped a weasel down the front of your trousers.

Why am I feeling more than slightly surreal tonight...?

'Cause you drank all the rum, today.

Where have all the merrymakers gone?

[crazylegs]

'Cause you drank all the rum, today.

Where have all the merrymakers gone?

To make more merry.

Are you the messiah?

[DesignFox]

To make more merry.

Are you the messiah?

No, I'm the masseuse.

;)

How does it feel to treat me like you do?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Damn good!

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?

[crazylegs]

Damn good!

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?

ME!

How many CSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

[BookstoreEscapee]

ME!

How many CSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them...

Oh, wait, that's the SCs...sorry...:o

Can you name all the seven dwarves?

[DesignFox]

ME!

How many CSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Infinity. No matter how many people actually touch the lightbulb- everyone else is gonna have some input.

(where is that thread we started on this?)

How many more questions can my BF help me come up with?

[crazylegs]

One, to hold the bulb while the world revolves around them...

Oh, wait, that's the SCs...sorry...:o

Can you name all the seven dwarves?

Why yes, I can! :p

What were the original names of the dwarves?

[DesignFox]

Why yes, I can! :p

What were the original names of the dwarves?

You want their English names, or the names from the French edition?

Why do I keep getting gazumped!? :p

[RootedPhoenix]

You want their English names, or the names from the French edition?

Why do I keep getting gazumped!? :p

Because everyone loves you that much. :angel: (kidding)

Why is my nose running like it has somewhere to be?

[crazylegs]

You want their English names, or the names from the French edition?

Why do I keep getting gazumped!? :p

Turnip Conspiracy Theory.

Who's the grand turnip overlord?

[DesignFox]

Because everyone loves you that much. :angel: (kidding)

Why is my nose running like it has somewhere to be?

Because it's afraid it may miss the party.

Turnip Conspiracy Theory.

Who's the grand turnip overlord?

I don't know but we gotta have a talk about this slow response time thing. :lol:

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, and we didn't have to wait so long?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because it's afraid it may miss the party.



I don't know but we gotta have a talk about this slow response time thing. :lol:

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older, and we didn't have to wait so long?

It would but that would be too easy

Why can't I seem to stay awake this evening?

[Jack T. Chance]

It would but that would be too easy

Why can't I seem to stay awake this evening?Because you partied too hard last night! ;)

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Three! Mr. Owl says so, it must be true!

Why is Pablo mad at me? I only gave him a bath and clipped his nails...

[XCashier]

You took away his weapons!

What?

[Jack T. Chance]

You took away his weapons!

What?Chicken butt! :D

Guess why?

[Animae]

because the taco told you to?


Where is here?

[crazylegs]

because the taco told you to?


Where is here?

Whereever you want it to be.

Who invented sudoku?

[MannersMakethMan]

Sue Dohku of course...

How is two years not long enough?

[McGoddess09]

How is two years not long enough?

Didn't you know? Two years, one month, and three days is long enough.

How about, how about,how about a color shout?

[DesignFox]

Didn't you know? Two years, one month, and three days is long enough.

How about, how about,how about a color shout?

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 3.

:p

Why can't I go home, yet?

[McGoddess09]

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 3.

:p

Why can't I go home, yet?


Because they aren't done with you. They have so much more in store for you. :devil:


if they tell you not to eat yellow snow, is it ok to eat yellow snow cones?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Depends on where the snow came from...

Did you know that Bed Bath & Beyond carries a snowball maker? :D

[DesignFox]

Did you know that Bed Bath & Beyond carries a snowball maker? :D

I do now...

How lame are you if you need a snowball maker? What's wrong with packing them with your hands like everybody else? :p :D

[McGoddess09]

I do now...

How lame are you if you need a snowball maker? What's wrong with packing them with your hands like everybody else? :p :D

Because they need their hands for things later. Can't do things with cold hands.

If R-O-W-D-I-E is the way you spell rowdy,rowdy, do you need a new school system?

[crazylegs]

Because they need their hands for things later. Can't do things with cold hands.

If R-O-W-D-I-E is the way you spell rowdy,rowdy, do you need a new school system?

Mars

How'd you make glass?

[McGoddess09]

Mars

How'd you make glass?

The movies tell me lightning and sand. The movies must be right...


How will you have it?

[crazylegs]

The movies tell me lightning and sand. The movies must be right...


How will you have it?

Just like my coffee.

Who invented emoticons?

[XCashier]

E. Moe Ticon

Who?

[crazylegs]

E. Moe Ticon

Who?

What.

Where?

[XCashier]

Here.

When?

[crazylegs]

Here.

When?

Why.

How?

[CaroPhoenix]

Why.

How?

With a pit, a pendulum & a chainsaw.

Am I happy to be free?

[Animae]

well you found the keys to the handcuffs.


What is wrong with my nose?

[McGoddess09]

well you found the keys to the handcuffs.


What is wrong with my nose?

Nothing. You have a BEAUTIFUL nose.

Can you pass the lotion?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Can you pass the lotion?

No. You get the hose again. :D

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?

[McGoddess09]

No. You get the hose again. :D

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?

Only if I were grilled.

Wanna share this big tub of whipped cream with me?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

*burp!* What tub of whipped cream?

How about some strawberries instead?

[McGoddess09]

*burp!* What tub of whipped cream?

How about some strawberries instead?

Oooo. You're a romantic one,aren't you? (BTW,Strawberries are my favorite fruit)

Wasn't that a nifty fact?

[CaroPhoenix]

Oooo. You're a romantic one,aren't you? (BTW,Strawberries are my favorite fruit)

Wasn't that a nifty fact?

Only on days that end in Neptune. :p

If I cracked corn, would Jimmy care?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

$Texas

Why can't I stop staring at my Caffeine-free Diet Pepsi can?

[CaroPhoenix]

$Texas

Why can't I stop staring at my Caffeine-free Diet Pepsi can?

Because it's from another dimension - there shouldn't be a Caffeine-Free anything while I'm still in existence!

What is your favorite part of bedtime?

[Bandit]

What is your favorite part of bedtime?

Purple.


Can someone please turn up the heat?

B

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

No. Get out of the kitchen.

Hot damn, why does Jamesons tastes so good?

[Bandit]

Hot damn, why does Jamesons tastes so good?

It's made from kittens and puppies.

What day is tomorrow?

B

[RootedPhoenix]

Monkey day.

What day was yesterday?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Febturday

Why do I have a bloody chainsaw in my hand and am feeling slightly remorseful?

[Jack T. Chance]

Why do I have a bloody chainsaw in my hand and am feeling slightly remorseful?Because it's the first time you've had to kill an Apple Zombie... or iZombie, if you prefer! Don't worry, it gets easier! :devil:

Besides, you can take solace in the fact that you've freed the poor soul from Steve Jobs' insidious mind control! ;)

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[Bella_Vixen]

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

peanut butter.


Why aren't I tired enough to sleep?

[CaroPhoenix]

peanut butter.


Why aren't I tired enough to sleep?

Because the moon hasn't reached its zenith in the age of Aquarius.

Who is at the door?

[crazylegs]

Because the moon hasn't reached its zenith in the age of Aquarius.

Who is at the door?

Me.

Why is it so cold today?

[MannersMakethMan]

The sun's in hiding for a while. Apparently, Big Dave found out where he lives.

:angel: or :devil:?

[crazylegs]

The sun's in hiding for a while. Apparently, Big Dave found out where he lives.

:angel: or :devil:?

:confused:

Why hang a Christmas tree upside down?

[CaroPhoenix]

:confused:

Why hang a Christmas tree upside down?

To confuse the White Rabbit even more.

Who is the mayor of Lazytown?

[crazylegs]

To confuse the White Rabbit even more.

Who is the mayor of Lazytown?

Rommel.

Why be a King?

[CaroPhoenix]

Rommel.

Why be a King?

Because it's a lot easier than being a Queen.

Should I take down my Christmas tree?

[crazylegs]

Because it's a lot easier than being a Queen.

Should I take down my Christmas tree?

You should put it up.

Do you have light?

[CaroPhoenix]

You should put it up.

Do you have light?

No, but I do have plight.

What is this little thing called love?

[McGoddess09]

No, but I do have plight.

What is this little thing called love?

It's absolutely nothing.

Why am I so addicted to cherry flavored things?

[crazylegs]

It's absolutely nothing.

Why am I so addicted to cherry flavored things?

Because you dislike strawberry.

where did McGoddess get her avatar from?

[McGoddess09]

Because you dislike strawberry.

where did McGoddess get her avatar from?

She went to google and typed in myspace icons and found it from...uh...myspacedev...I think...

Think I could eventually rule the world with aforementioned avatar?

[CaroPhoenix]

She went to google and typed in myspace icons and found it from...uh...myspacedev...I think...

Think I could eventually rule the world with aforementioned avatar?

Depends on how kinky the world can be.

Why doesn't my child listen to me?

[crazylegs]

Depends on how kinky the world can be.

Why doesn't my child listen to me?

Because her ears are stuffed with cotton wool.

Will it be warmer tomorrow?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because her ears are stuffed with cotton wool.

Will it be warmer tomorrow?

No . . . if anything, messier than today.

Why does today not feel like a Sunday?

[crazylegs]

No . . . if anything, messier than today.

Why does today not feel like a Sunday?

Because it's actually Wednesday, but the 'shuffle' function on your iPod misfunctioned, so you've managed to destroy the delicate world balance and we're all going to die!

Do you feel lucky punk?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because it's actually Wednesday, but the 'shuffle' function on your iPod misfunctioned, so you've managed to destroy the delicate world balance and we're all going to die!

Do you feel lucky punk?

Nope, I've never felt a lucky punk ... wonder where I can find one? :lol:

Will sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Nope, I've never felt a lucky punk ... wonder where I can find one? :lol:

Will sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me?

You might just find a worm in that apple

Will it be cold enough to snow anytime soon?

[crazylegs]

You might just find a worm in that apple

Will it be cold enough to snow anytime soon?

Already has here.

How small can a snowman be?

[McGoddess09]

Already has here.

How small can a snowman be?

Specksize, which is what I think about the male sc's that come through my store.:D

Can you wait to see me again?

[crazylegs]

Specksize, which is what I think about the male sc's that come through my store.:D

Can you wait to see me again?

I've yet to see you, so I can't see you 'again' quite yet anyhow

Will it snow some more?

[CaroPhoenix]

I've yet to see you, so I can't see you 'again' quite yet anyhow

Will it snow some more?

My Magic 8 Ball tells me to ask again later. :lol:

What unexpected elements should I have in my chandelier?

[crazylegs]

My Magic 8 Ball tells me to ask again later. :lol:

What unexpected elements should I have in my chandelier?

tritium, rhodium, arsenic.

Will it rain?

[CaroPhoenix]

tritium, rhodium, arsenic.

Will it rain?

Yes, but only because the Riddler took the world's supply of umbrellas to give as a present to the Penguin.

Who would want to steal cookies from the cookie jar?

[crazylegs]

Yes, but only because the Riddler took the world's supply of umbrellas to give as a present to the Penguin.

Who would want to steal cookies from the cookie jar?

Me, I have rather long arms and you won't catch me! Mwahahaha!

Who's the photographer?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Me, I have rather long arms and you won't catch me! Mwahahaha!

Who's the photographer?

Big Bird

Which would you prefer: Pac-Man or Donkey Kong?

[CaroPhoenix]

Big Bird

Which would you prefer: Pac-Man or Donkey Kong?

Frogger.

What should I give up for the Lent?

[Plaidman]

Dead or alive Xtreme Beach volleyball 5, Marios revenge.


How come Batman just ... kill joker?

[CaroPhoenix]

Dead or alive Xtreme Beach volleyball 5, Marios revenge.


How come Batman just ... kill joker?

Not today, I have a haddock. :p

Who put the cookies back in the cookie jar?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I did. They're stale.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

(OT, my cousin and his now-wife (!) -as of approximately 2:30 yesterday afternoon- played that song for their cake-cutting at the reception and it was really cute!)

[CaroPhoenix]

I did. They're stale.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64?

(OT, my cousin and his now-wife (!) -as of approximately 2:30 yesterday afternoon- played that song for their cake-cutting at the reception and it was really cute!)

Yes, but will you do the same things for me when I'm 64?

Will I live to see 64?

[McGoddess09]

Yes, but will you do the same things for me when I'm 64?

Will I live to see 64?

Of course. We will make you live!!

Why is my cat meowing at me?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, he doesn't have to learn English!!

Donde esta el bano?
(Sorry, I don't know how to make the n with the ~ on top of it.)

[CaroPhoenix]

Hey, he doesn't have to learn English!!

Donde esta el bano?
(Sorry, I don't know how to make the n with the ~ on top of it.)

Make a left at Bugs Bunny's rabbit hole.

Why is my head itchy?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You're allergic to your hair. Better get out the razor...

Do I really have to go to work tomorrow?

[DesignFox]

No. Tell your boss it's cause I said so. :D

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

[crazylegs]

No. Tell your boss it's cause I said so. :D

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

A rather nice little picture company just off the High Street in <My Town>

Why do octopuses have ink?

[CaroPhoenix]

A rather nice little picture company just off the High Street in <My Town>

Why do octopuses have ink?

Because the liquid charcoal was just too much work.

Who is Spiderman, really?

[crazylegs]

Because the liquid charcoal was just too much work.

Who is Spiderman, really?

Scorpiandude's older brother.

What can't be made into a liquid?

[McGoddess09]

Scorpiandude's older brother.

What can't be made into a liquid?

the canadian bacon and onion pizza I am eating.

Why are you so adorable?

[crazylegs]

the canadian bacon and onion pizza I am eating.

Why are you so adorable?

You're looking at a mirror...

What time is it here?

[CaroPhoenix]

You're looking at a mirror...

What time is it here?

Time for dinner!

Why can't I call people late for dinner?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Time for dinner!

Why can't I call people late for dinner?

Because they're early for breakfast.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because they're early for breakfast.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Have a "Love Fest" with Captain Earth & Atlas.

What is a Bridezilla?

[Setsunaela]

Where can I get a good burger?

From Long John Silver's.

Why do I bite my fingernails?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Have a "Love Fest" with Captain Earth & Atlas.

What is a Bridezilla?

A big green monster that stomps around Tokyo wearing a white veil and carrying a bouquet.

From Long John Silver's.

Why do I bite my fingernails?

For the protein.

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

[McGoddess09]

A big green monster that stomps around Tokyo wearing a white veil and carrying a bouquet.



For the protein.

Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

It's about two blocks north from Mr Roger's house.

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? :roll:

[Jack T. Chance]

It's about two blocks north from Mr Roger's house.

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? :roll:It's... in Michigan! ;)

Seriously... there's a town called Hell, Michigan! :cool:

Why do the Powers That Be insist on constantly making my life a living hell? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

It's... in Michigan! ;)

Seriously... there's a town called Hell, Michigan! :cool:

Why do the Powers That Be insist on constantly making my life a living hell? :confused:

Because the D100 told them to.

Why would the Powers That Be have a D100?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because the D100 told them to.

Why would the Powers That Be have a D100?'Cause it's 10 times more powerful than a D10! ;)

Who wants to watch Season 4.0 of Battlestar Galactica with me on DVD?

[CaroPhoenix]

'Cause it's 10 times more powerful than a D10! ;)

Who wants to watch Season 4.0 of Battlestar Galactica with me on DVD?

Jack Bauer.

Why am I addicted to Taco Bell?

[crazylegs]

Jack Bauer.

Why am I addicted to Taco Bell?

It has Crack in it.

What's the full value of Pi?

[Jack T. Chance]

It has Crack in it.

What's the full value of Pi?Whatever you can get the customer to pay for it! :devil:

Who dat think dey gonna beat dem Bengals?

[crazylegs]

Whatever you can get the customer to pay for it! :devil:

Who dat think dey gonna beat dem Bengals?

Uh, 'Yes'? :confused:

Will you buy me a new watch?

[McGoddess09]

Uh, 'Yes'? :confused:

Will you buy me a new watch?

Anything for you,darling.

Why are microwavable dinners so tasty?

[MannersMakethMan]

Because of all the mini chefs they hide behind the panels

Why, why, why Delilah?

[crazylegs]

Because of all the mini chefs they hide behind the panels

Why, why, why Delilah?

He's only gone and had his weetabix.

Why Sing?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz all the world's a karaoke bar.

Hey, there, Delilah, what's it like in New York City?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I'm in Cleveland, you twit! I hate you WAAAAAAAAAAA :cry:

Does anybody really know what time it is?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, the clock on the kitchen wall is paralyzed (actually, this is true, at work, and it's beginning to annoy me).

What's wrong with my hand?

[RootedPhoenix]

Nothing, it'll reboot soon.

Why does the cat like my fuzzy blanket so much?

[BookstoreEscapee]

He thinks it's his mommy.

What's for dessert?

[Jack T. Chance]

He thinks it's his mommy.

What's for dessert?Chilled monkey brains! Yum!!! ;)

What was for dinner before that?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Soylent green.

And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?

[Bandit]

And I wonder, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain?

Elvis, Jim Morrison, and John Lennon.

Can someone please dig out my driveway for me?

B

[CaroPhoenix]

Elvis, Jim Morrison, and John Lennon.

Can someone please dig out my driveway for me?

B

Only if you provide my daughter with a spoon. :D

Why is Can't Sit Up Slug at my Tea Party?

[crazylegs]

Only if you provide my daughter with a spoon. :D

Why is Can't Sit Up Slug at my Tea Party?

It's actually a snail who got mugged, so he's a little shy right now.

Who decided magnum boots should have NO grip on compacted snow...?

[McGoddess09]

It's actually a snail who got mugged, so he's a little shy right now.

Who decided magnum boots should have NO grip on compacted snow...?

The Elves. Silly humans who can't walk on top of snow...

What IS in a Wonderball?

[crazylegs]

The Elves. Silly humans who can't walk on top of snow...

What IS in a Wonderball?

An oblate sphereoid that is comprised of many layers with a metal core and 70% covered with water.

Whooda thunk it?

[Jackofalltrades]

An oblate sphereoid that is comprised of many layers with a metal core and 70% covered with water.

Whooda thunk it?

Meesa Jar Jar Binks!


Who loves orange soda?

[crazylegs]

Meesa Jar Jar Binks!


Who loves orange soda?

Martians

How do CDs work...?

[MannersMakethMan]

Martians

How do CDs work...?

Oh, they don't. They used to work at Woolworths, but they've just been made redundant.

Can anyone help me cut out 574 words?

[crazylegs]

Oh, they don't. They used to work at Woolworths, but they've just been made redundant.

Can anyone help me cut out ?

Sure.

Where is Paddington Bear from?

[MannersMakethMan]

Sure.

Where is Paddington Bear from?

#Under the seaaa....#

Does your mother know that you're out?

[McGoddess09]

#Under the seaaa....#

Does your mother know that you're out?

Nope. I like to keep it that way.

Would you like to help me finish up all this fricken cranberry juice I bought?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Only if it comes with lots of fricken vodka.

It's 10:45. Do you know where your children are?

[Jack T. Chance]

Only if it comes with lots of fricken vodka.

It's 10:45. Do you know where your children are?Yep! Wait... What? I have CHILDREN now?!? Since when?!?!? :confused:

I.... Got nothing. Someone else ask a question.

[DesignFox]

Why couldn't Jack think of a question? :p

[Jack T. Chance]

Why couldn't Jack think of a question? :pBecause I'd had a very trying 24 hours leading up to that point and I was so wiped out I couldn't even think. More than that, you don't want to know. Trust me.

Why would a benevolent god invent hay fever... or, more accurately, the allergies that cause hay fever? Why, for the love of dog, WHY?!? :confused:

--JTC (Who's sick & tired of getting hay fever all the time!)

[MannersMakethMan]

Because every hero needs a fatal flaw

If there's something strange in the neighbourhood, who you gonna call?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Beetlejuice!


If it's somethin' weird and it don't look good, who ya gonna call?

[Chanlin]

Gravekeeper :) and I'll be sure to bore him with the inane and stupid incessant details of the weirdness.

Are you afraid of ghosts?

[McGoddess09]

Gravekeeper :) and I'll be sure to bore him with the inane and stupid incessant details of the weirdness.

Are you afraid of ghosts?

Ha! Ghosts cower in fear of me!

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

[DesignFox]

Ha! Ghosts cower in fear of me!

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

No. but I danced with a werewolf on a the night of a bright full moon, once...

What's the power of love?

[McGoddess09]

No. but I danced with a werewolf on a the night of a bright full moon, once...

What's the power of love?

Stronger than mustard gas.

Why does my school suck at everything,besides Varsity boys basketball?

[DesignFox]

Stronger than mustard gas.

Why does my school suck at everything,besides Varsity boys basketball?

Because Basketball can save the world!

Can I get a....?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You can only have half...

Do you want fries with that?

[DesignFox]

You can only have half...

Do you want fries with that?

Only if they are the good kind.

Why is that Peanut Butter Jelly Time song sooooooooo catchy?!

[Amina516]

Dancing bananas are what my dreams are made of.



When will my torture be over?

[McGoddess09]

Dancing bananas are what my dreams are made of.



When will my torture be over?

Just say "Please Mistress" and I will end it.

Are you ready for this?

[crazylegs]

Just say "Please Mistress" and I will end it.

Are you ready for this?

Can't touch this.

Who will save us now?

[CaroPhoenix]

Can't touch this.

Who will save us now?

Ivan the Terrible Executioner.

Gentlemen start your ... hairdryers?

[McGoddess09]

Ivan the Terrible Executioner.

Gentlemen start your ... hairdryers?

That's what my cousin would say at his hair salon in Chicago. :roll:

Why won't my friend text me to let me know about the movie?

[Jack T. Chance]

That's what my cousin would say at his hair salon in Chicago. :roll:

Why won't my friend text me to let me know about the movie?Too busy gettin' laid! :eyewaggle:

Why go to a movie when you can get laid instead? :devil:

[crazylegs]

Too busy gettin' laid! :eyewaggle:

Why go to a movie when you can get laid instead? :devil:

You can go to a movie on your own!

Who invented the telephone?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Some teenage girl...

Can I ask you a question?

[crazylegs]

Some teenage girl...

Can I ask you a question?

It would appear you just did

Why not sniff?