Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Enough to make a cake that will be left in the rain and we'll never have this feeling again.

What is that feeling?

Didn't figure that out, as it got washed away during the rain at MacArthur Park.

Who dimmed all the lights sweet darlin'?:p

[DesignFox]

Who dimmed all the lights sweet darlin'?:p

I did. Mwhahahahahahah.

Do you smell what the Rock is cookin? :p

[CaroPhoenix]

I did. Mwhahahahahahah.

Do you smell what the Rock is cookin? :p

OMG! YES!!! It's roadkill, but not of the animal kind. :puke:


Who is what with the where?

[Amina516]

Mrs. Peacock in the ballroom with the lead pipe!!!!

*dun dun dunnnnnnnn*




Do I want to be a murderer?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

You mean you aren't one already?

How about a gin and tonic?

[CaroPhoenix]

You mean you aren't one already?

How about a gin and tonic?

Only if I get an apple pie with whipped cream upon it.

Is there really no word that rhymes with orange?

[MannersMakethMan]

Only if I get an apple pie with whipped cream upon it.

Is there really no word that rhymes with orange?

There is. Blorenge. [How strange I should have been having that exact conversation last night]

Where's the camera?

[crazylegs]

There is. Blorenge. [How strange I should have been having that exact conversation last night]

Where's the camera?

:eyewaggle:

Who the daddy?

[DesignFox]

:eyewaggle:

Who the daddy?

No idea. Better call Maury- we're gonna need a paternity test.

Cake or Death?

[CaroPhoenix]

No idea. Better call Maury- we're gonna need a paternity test.

Cake or Death?

Pizza Pie!

Give me what?

[McGoddess09]

Pizza Pie!

Give me what?

Caffeine or Death

What should I let them eat instead of bread?

[Jack T. Chance]

Caffeine or Death

What should I let them eat instead of bread?Let them eat chocolate cake! :D

Now then... What should we wash the cake down with?

[DesignFox]

Let them eat chocolate cake! :D

Now then... What should we wash the cake down with?

Rum of course!

I can has cheezburger?

[CaroPhoenix]

Rum of course!

I can has cheezburger?

Nope, ostrich burger.

Why is everyone stealing my rum?

[Jack T. Chance]

Rum of course!*BZZZT!* WRONG ANSWER!!! :p

The CORRECT... um... wrong answer was...

The greatest drink in existence...

we need... PAN-GALACTIC GARGLE BLASTERS (http://hhgproject.org/entries/pangalacticgargleblaster.html)!!!! :DI can has cheezburger?Let's see... how can I put this...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/JackTChance/dead_lolcats_cropped.jpg

Please, think of the lolcats! ;)Nope, ostrich burger.Ostrich? Hmm... wonder what that tastes like?!? :confused:




...I'll bet it tastes like chicken! :rolleyes:Why is everyone stealing my rum?Because they want some before you drink it all! ;)

Who wants to go to the Disaster Area (http://hhgproject.org/entries/disasterarea.html) concert with me? :confused:

[XCashier]

Who wants to go to the Disaster Area (http://hhgproject.org/entries/disasterarea.html) concert with me? :confused:
WHAT?! Sorry, can't hear you, my hearing is still all wonky from the Disaster Area concert I went to last weekend.

Do you know where your towel is?

[Jack T. Chance]

WHAT?! Sorry, can't hear you, my hearing is still all wonky from the Disaster Area concert I went to last weekend.

Do you know where your towel is?Sure do! It's right here...

http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/42_towel.jpg

How did we get on this spaceship?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v148/JackTChance/Smilies/HitchhikerSmilie.gif

[CaroPhoenix]

How did we get on this spaceship?


Not sure, but the last thing I remember is standing in an abandoned field looking up at the night sky wondering why the sky was light up like a Christmas tree.

Who am I allergic to?

[crazylegs]

Not sure, but the last thing I remember is standing in an abandoned field looking up at the night sky wondering why the sky was light up like a Christmas tree.

Who am I allergic to?

Me!

Will I have a quiet day tomorrow?

[DesignFox]

Me!

Will I have a quiet day tomorrow?

Only if the rabid customers stay home on account of the weather.

When will I get a lucky break?

[BookstoreEscapee]

When will I get a lucky break?

Well, a break is coming, but I don't know how lucky it'll be...

Why do sad things happen?

[gunsage]

To give happy things a run for their money.

Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

[BookstoreEscapee]

To give happy things a run for their money.

Why is the grass always greener on the other side?

Spray paint.

Why are my eyes leaking?

[Jack T. Chance]

Spray paint.

Why are my eyes leaking?Because you forgot to put the cap back on! ;)

Why not?

[McGoddess09]

Because you forgot to put the cap back on! ;)

Why not?

Because mommy said so.

Will you help me eat these Airhead suckers?

[DesignFox]

Because mommy said so.

Will you help me eat these Airhead suckers?

nope. you get them all to yourself. I'm trying to cut back.

Why my squeezing arm!?

[CaroPhoenix]

nope. you get them all to yourself. I'm trying to cut back.

Why my squeezing arm!?

Because it was fishyhead!

What does Pinky Dinky Do?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, keep that stuff behind closed doors!!!

Why is the grass less green on my side of the fence?

[DesignFox]

Hey, keep that stuff behind closed doors!!!

Why is the grass less green on my side of the fence?

'Cause you forgot to water it.

Why was I made in the shape of Venus in an era that worships the goddamn stick figure?

[Jack T. Chance]

'Cause you forgot to water it.

Why was I made in the shape of Venus in an era that worships the goddamn stick figure?Because some guys still like REAL women... i.e. women that have CuRvEs! :love:

Why can't I find such a woman when she's single?!? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because some guys still like REAL women... i.e. women that have CuRvEs! :love:

Why can't I find such a woman when she's single?!? :confused:

Because she's too busy trying to be a stick figure.

Why hold off the impossible?

[ralerin]

Because it's easier than the improbable.

Why does a printer print?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because it's easier than the improbable.

Why does a printer print?Because it can! :D

Why ask why?

[XCashier]

Because you can't ask "because".

Who does?

[DesignFox]

Because you can't ask "because".

Who does?

Everybody!

if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?

[crazylegs]

Everybody!

if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?

I fly, so I don't need to.

What wonders await me?

[CaroPhoenix]

I fly, so I don't need to.

What wonders await me?

The Wonders of Winter!

What is that thing I do?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I don't know but I wish you'd stop!

Who should I root for in the Superbowl?

[crazylegs]

I don't know but I wish you'd stop!

Who should I root for in the Superbowl?

Chelsea.

Should I clean the van tomorrow?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why? It'll just get dirty again...

What should I have for dinner?

[crazylegs]

Why? It'll just get dirty again...

What should I have for dinner?

Sprouts. Thousands and thousands of sprouts! :lol:

Should I do anything at work tomorrow?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Nah. Work is overrated.

What should I have for dessert, then?

[crazylegs]

Nah. Work is overrated.

What should I have for dessert, then?

Turnip pie.

What should I do with my (now) free day tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

Turnip pie.

What should I do with my (now) free day tomorrow?

Sleep in with a wombat in your shorts!

Should I take my daughter to a free dance class?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sleep in with a wombat in your shorts!

Should I take my daughter to a free dance class?

Only if they offer a full bar for the parents

Who decided there should only be 7 days in a week?

[rdp78]

I think it was Zeus who did that.

Now where can I get a good burger?

[Jack T. Chance]

I think it was Zeus who did that.

Now where can I get a good burger?You should go to Milliway's, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe! You can meet the Dish of the Day, choose what cut of meat you want for your burger, and then later on, the universe will explode for your pleasure! :D

But don't stick around for that, I've seen it, it's rubbish. Nothing but a gnab gib! :p

What's so wrong with being drunk?

[Amina516]

nothing, as long as you remember to pull your pants back up afterwards.




Why did Hello Kitty's arm fall off?

[CaroPhoenix]

nothing, as long as you remember to pull your pants back up afterwards.




Why did Hello Kitty's arm fall off?

Because she sat on the hot stove too long & the glue became unglued.

Who will lead me to the caffeine of life?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because she sat on the hot stove too long & the glue became unglued.

Who will lead me to the caffeine of life?I will! *Hands her a Mountain Dew!* :D

Steelers or Cardinals for the "Big Game"?

[XCashier]

Don't care, as long as Springsteen puts on a good Halftime Show!

What do you want on your pizza?

[CaroPhoenix]

Don't care, as long as Springsteen puts on a good Halftime Show!

What do you want on your pizza?

Eggs, toast and bacon.

Who was made by Nick Jr.?

[crazylegs]

Eggs, toast and bacon.

Who was made by Nick Jr.?

Jr. Nick Jr.

What's the most common element in the universe?

[Jack T. Chance]

Jr. Nick Jr.

What's the most common element in the universe?Judging by the United States of America... STUPIDITY! :rolleyes:

Who to the what now?

[RootedPhoenix]

Pineapples and tomatoes.

Who took the cookies in the cookie jar?

[Setsunaela]

Pineapples and tomatoes.

Who took the cookies in the cookie jar?

The cookies took themselves.

What color is my cell phone?

[Amina516]

Turkey chipotle.


Why do i love cran-apple juice soooo much!!!!???

[CaroPhoenix]

Turkey chipotle.


Why do i love cran-apple juice soooo much!!!!???

Because it's mushed itself into your brain and convinced you that you do.

Why would I want to love Brett Michaels?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because it's mushed itself into your brain and convinced you that you do.

Why would I want to love Brett Michaels?Because he's good enough, he's smart enough, and doggone it, people like him! :D

Why can't I find the girl of my dreams? Or at least Miss Right Now?

[XCashier]

Have you tried looking under the cushions of your couch?

Why am I so interested in the Super Bowl when I really don't care much for football? :headscratch:

[crazylegs]

Have you tried looking under the cushions of your couch?

Why am I so interested in the Super Bowl when I really don't care much for football? :headscratch:

Turnip Conspiracy Theory

Will the snow settle tonight?

[DesignFox]

Turnip Conspiracy Theory

Will the snow settle tonight?

Nope. I'm shaking the snowglobe to kick it all up again.

Why did my square pull the shittiest numbers for the SuperBowl pool? :cry:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Nope. I'm shaking the snowglobe to kick it all up again.

Why did my square pull the shittiest numbers for the SuperBowl pool? :cry:

Because it's the root of all evil . . .:p

When can I expect the spirit to move me?

[crazylegs]

Because it's the root of all evil . . .:p

When can I expect the spirit to move me?

When the earth moves.

Will I ever make another snow angel?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No from now on you will only make snow devils. :devil:

Who's the fairest of them all?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

No from now on you will only make snow devils. :devil:

Who's the fairest of them all?

Don't look at me . . . I ain't it.

Why can't I shut down this laptop and take my nap even though I'm sleepy?

[crazylegs]

Don't look at me . . . I ain't it.

Why can't I shut down this laptop and take my nap even though I'm sleepy?

Because we're more addictive then Crack.

Should you walk on the cracks in the pavement?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because we're more addictive then Crack.

Should you walk on the cracks in the pavement?

Sure! Your mother doesn't need a back that works, right? :p

Why is my daughter not taking a nap when she's overly tired?

[DesignFox]

Sure! Your mother doesn't need a back that works, right? :p

Why is my daughter not taking a nap when she's overly tired?

because children are miracle workers when it comes to doing exactly the opposite of what you want them to do. :)

Why is my timing so awful this week?

[CaroPhoenix]

because children are miracle workers when it comes to doing exactly the opposite of what you want them to do. :)

Why is my timing so awful this week?

Because the egg timer is broken.

Why am I here instead of watching the Super Bowl?

[DesignFox]

Because the egg timer is broken.

Why am I here instead of watching the Super Bowl?

'cause you got shitty numbers in the super bowl pool, too. since that's the only reason to watch in the first place....why bother?

hahaha :p

why must I be so far from my sweetheart?

[hinakiba777]

Super Strong Super Glue!

Were you in the boat when the boat tipped over?

[CaroPhoenix]

Super Strong Super Glue!

Were you in the boat when the boat tipped over?

Nope but Repeat was! :p

How can my husband pick the right team to win?

[MannersMakethMan]

Nope but Repeat was! :p

How can my husband pick the right team to win?

Check the Internet - he should be able to manage it by now.

When did it get so late?

[crazylegs]

Check the Internet - he should be able to manage it by now.

When did it get so late?

After it was early.

Will it snow some more?

[CaroPhoenix]

After it was early.

Will it snow some more?

My crystal ball (which looks exactly like a snowglobe) says yes. :D

Where will I find my first pawprint?

[crazylegs]

My crystal ball (which looks exactly like a snowglobe) says yes. :D

Where will I find my first pawprint?

Under your paw.

What's the collective noun for magpies?

[CaroPhoenix]

Under your paw.

What's the collective noun for magpies?

Teeter totters!

Why am I so modest?

[DesignFox]

Teeter totters!

Why am I so modest?

I dunno, cause being uninhibited is soooo much fun! :lol:

When will the nightmares stop?

[crazylegs]

I dunno, cause being uninhibited is soooo much fun! :lol:

When will the nightmares stop?

When the cow jumps over the moon.

What was humpty dumpty?

[CaroPhoenix]

When the cow jumps over the moon.

What was humpty dumpty?

My husband in a pervious life.

What was I in my previous life?

[crazylegs]

My husband in a pervious life.

What was I in my previous life?

A leprachaun (sp?)

What shall I do tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

A leprachaun (sp?)

What shall I do tomorrow?

The Chicken Dance followed by the Hokey Pokey ('cos that's what it's really all about, doncha know? :lol:)

Why am I here?

[crazylegs]

The Chicken Dance followed by the Hokey Pokey ('cos that's what it's really all about, doncha know? :lol:)

Why am I here?

Because you're not here.

Will it snow again?

[DesignFox]

Because you're not here.

Will it snow again?

It is snowing. non-stop! WOOO!

What should I beat my co-worker, who keeps forgetting to clean the coffee pot, with?

[MannersMakethMan]

It is snowing. non-stop! WOOO!

What should I beat my co-worker, who keeps forgetting to clean the coffee pot, with?

Beat them on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.

If this is the answer, what is the question?

[DesignFox]

Beat them on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.

If this is the answer, what is the question?

I didn't realize we were answering questions. :p

Why won't my boss let us go home? It's snowing like crazy out there, and customers aren't even calling let alone coming in.

[CaroPhoenix]

I didn't realize we were answering questions. :p

Why won't my boss let us go home? It's snowing like crazy out there, and customers aren't even calling let alone coming in.

Because right now, as I type this, there is a little old lady driving 2 mph just to get to your store and if you close now, she won't be able to get her precious doohickey & will melt in the snow in front of your store and then you'd have to clean her up ... and would you want that!? :p

What is an Aquabat?

[DesignFox]

What is an Aquabat?

A bat that lives in the water.

What the hell?

[CaroPhoenix]

A bat that lives in the water.

What the hell?

At least it's not in hell, I suppose? :confused:

Why am I still hungry?

[DesignFox]

At least it's not in hell, I suppose? :confused:

Why am I still hungry?

Cause the tapeworm absorbed all the good stuff.

Will things go back to normal soon?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Define normal.

Why is my nose all stuffy and how do I make it stop?

[XCashier]

Why is my nose all stuffy and how do I make it stop?
Sounds like it's already stopped.

What do I have to do to make you understand?

[Amina516]

Sounds like it's already stopped.

What do I have to do to make you understand?

Become TOO LEGIT, TOO LEGIT TO QUIT (hey hey)


Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements? :p

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

It'll lead nowhere.

What did I do now? :(

[XCashier]

The question is, what didn't you do?!

What part of "no" don't you understand?

[crazylegs]

The question is, what didn't you do?!

What part of "no" don't you understand?

The baseball bat part.

What wonders await me when I return to work tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

The baseball bat part.

What wonders await me when I return to work tomorrow?

The wonders of people who are sick with the flu but are too stupid to stay home.

Why fear clowns?

[crazylegs]

The wonders of people who are sick with the flu but are too stupid to stay home.

Why fear clowns?

Big shoes.

Should I do nothing?

[CaroPhoenix]

Big shoes.

Should I do nothing?

Only if you really insist on it.

Why do I like a moose?

[Amina516]

Only if you really insist on it.

Why do I like a moose?

B/c all the Meese were taken.


Why cant i blow my nose right?

[DesignFox]

B/c all the Meese were taken.


Why cant i blow my nose right?

I'm not even going to get into all the things wrong with that. :D

How does she know you love her?

[Setsunaela]

Oranges.

Why is Diet Cherry Wedge from Wegman's so good?!

[CaroPhoenix]

Oranges.

Why is Diet Cherry Wedge from Wegman's so good?!

Because of the "nutrients" they put into it. ;)

What should I have for dinner?

[XCashier]

Because of the "nutrients" they put into it. ;)

What should I have for dinner?
Whatever won't eat you first.

Who wants to be a millionaire?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why, Stan Flouride, of course!

Why is Regis so annoying perky?

[CaroPhoenix]

Why, Stan Flouride, of course!

Why is Regis so annoying perky?

Because Kelly Rippa is turning into Kathy Lee Gifford.

How does a sloth hide from its enemies?

[hinakiba777]

Because Kelly Rippa is turning into Kathy Lee Gifford.

How does a sloth hide from its enemies?

No one can see deadly sins that live in trees!

Why do the posters keep falling down?

[DesignFox]

No one can see deadly sins that live in trees!

Why do the posters keep falling down?

Because your walls are coated with teflon.

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

[hinakiba777]

Because your walls are coated with teflon.

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

I'm not as smart as at 6th grader!

Why is the Rum always gone!

[DesignFox]

I'm not as smart as at 6th grader!

Why is the Rum always gone!

We've been over that question many times...We drank it all!

Why do horses sleep standing up?

[XCashier]

Because they're too heavy for hammocks.

Where is my sanity?

[hinakiba777]

Because they're too heavy for hammocks.

Where is my sanity?

I my back pocket wit the Twizlers

Who put the Bop in the bopshoobopshoobop

[CaroPhoenix]

I my back pocket wit the Twizlers

Who put the Bop in the bopshoobopshoobop

Tony Bennet & Pat Boone.

What are you going to surprise me with?

[DesignFox]

Tony Bennet & Pat Boone.

What are you going to surprise me with?

If I tell you, it won't be a surprise...

(maybe I can dig up some more Rum)

Why does optonline have the most obnoxious commercials on the planet?

[CaroPhoenix]

If I tell you, it won't be a surprise...

(maybe I can dig up some more Rum)

Why does optonline have the most obnoxious commercials on the planet?

Because they're the lucky ones.

Why am I addicted to Chicken Supreme Chalupas from Taco Bell?

[DesignFox]

Because they're the lucky ones.

Why am I addicted to Chicken Supreme Chalupas from Taco Bell?

There's something special in the secret sauce...

Is it 5 o'clock, yet?

[MannersMakethMan]

There's something special in the secret sauce...

Is it 5 o'clock, yet?

Hit the clock with a hammer, and you can make it any time you want.

Promise you'll tell me when?

[CaroPhoenix]

Hit the clock with a hammer, and you can make it any time you want.

Promise you'll tell me when?

Sure!

Why not?

[DesignFox]

Sure!

Why not?

Because you don't know where that's been.

What the dilly, yo?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Pickles!

Sweet or dill?

[Amina516]

I prefer a cheap thrill! (It rhymed!!)


Why do I have this cut on my boob?

[Trayol]

Because the gutter is always right.

Who put the chimp on a scooter?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Darwin.

Do you like my poem?

[hinakiba777]

Darwin.

Do you like my poem?

I prefer haiku
Versus your poems B.E.
It's the truth, Sorry.

How can I live without you?

[RootedPhoenix]

You can't. :p

Why am I craving Chinese food all the time?

[CaroPhoenix]

You can't. :p

Why am I craving Chinese food all the time?

Because the stars have aligned to show you the way.

Why can't Lana Lang & Clark Kent be happy?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because the stars have aligned to show you the way.

Why can't Lana Lang & Clark Kent be happy?Because Lex Luthor hates them! ;)

I can has power ring? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because Lex Luthor hates them! ;)

I can has power ring? :confused:

Only if the Green Lantern cuts off his finger.

Can I pounce on you?

[crazylegs]

Only if the Green Lantern cuts off his finger.

Can I pounce on you?

You wouldn't dare... :p

Why is walking in snow so much hard work?

[Jack T. Chance]

You wouldn't dare... :p

Why is walking in snow so much hard work?Because goddess laughs her ass off every time someone slips and falls on their ass! :rolleyes:

WTF (What The Frak)? :confused:

[MannersMakethMan]

Because goddess laughs her ass off every time someone slips and falls on their ass! :rolleyes:

WTF (What The Frak)? :confused:

Warwick Table Football I believe

Who's had me biscuits?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Not me, I prefer dinner rolls.

Why fly?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Not me, I prefer dinner rolls.

Why fly?

It's faster than swimming . . .:p

Why can't I find something decent to watch on tv tonight?

[Jack T. Chance]

It's faster than swimming . . .:p

Why can't I find something decent to watch on tv tonight?'Cause you aren't tuned into the Sci-Fi Channel! :p

Why me, oh great and powerful Gord... why me?!? :confused:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

'Cause you aren't tuned into the Sci-Fi Channel! :p

Why me, oh great and powerful Gord... why me?!? :confused:

Because you're not special enough . . :p

Why isn't real life more like the game of Life?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because you're not special enough . . :p

Why isn't real life more like the game of Life?

Because then we'd be having too much fun and no one can have that.

Why am I drowning in rum?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Guess you shoulda took swimmin' lessons...

Is that Chilli Willi in your avatar?

[CaroPhoenix]

Guess you shoulda took swimmin' lessons...

Is that Chilli Willi in your avatar?

It could be Chilli Willi if you want it to be so.

(And that would be a yes :D)

Why is my Willi Chilli?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Put on some underwear and you won't have that problem.

Cheetos or Cheez Doodles?

[CaroPhoenix]

Put on some underwear and you won't have that problem.

Cheetos or Cheez Doodles?

Lay's Wavy Potato Chips.

Bacon or Sausage?

[MannersMakethMan]

Why choose between them?

Can't I have both?

[Jack T. Chance]

Why choose between them?

Can't I have both?Sorry, no, if we do that for you, we'd have to do it for EVERYBODY, and then we won't have enough to go around! :p

Who dat say "who dat" when I say who dat?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sorry, no, if we do that for you, we'd have to do it for EVERYBODY, and then we won't have enough to go around! :p

Who dat say "who dat" when I say who dat?

The wind, dat who.

Why is it that the coolest cars I see are driven by people who I wouldn't dare take home to meet the family? :shrug:

[crazylegs]

The wind, dat who.

Why is it that the coolest cars I see are driven by people who I wouldn't dare take home to meet the family? :shrug:

Because all the coolest cars have been stolen!

Why am I so tired right now?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because all the coolest cars have been stolen!

Why am I so tired right now?Too much blood in your caffeine stream! ;)

Why can't we just wave a magic wand and make this piss poor economy BS go away? :confused:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Too much blood in your caffeine stream! ;)

Why can't we just wave a magic wand and make this piss poor economy BS go away? :confused:

We ran out of Pixie Dust

Why am I shivering right now and it's 67 F outside?

[CaroPhoenix]

We ran out of Pixie Dust

Why am I shivering right now and it's 67 F outside?

Because you're only happy in really really really cold climates.

What is red and round and grows on vines?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because you're only happy in really really really cold climates.

What is red and round and grows on vines?KICKBALLS!!! :D

What's black & white, and read all over? :confused:

[DesignFox]

KICKBALLS!!! :D

What's black & white, and read all over? :confused:

The international wanted list.

Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?

[crazylegs]

The international wanted list.

Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?

Always.

IS THAT THE TIME...? :eek:

[CaroPhoenix]

Always.

IS THAT THE TIME...? :eek:

No.

Why do you ask?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I didn't.

Why does the clock in my car forget what time it is?

[crazylegs]

I didn't.

Why does the clock in my car forget what time it is?

It doesn't, you slip through time.

What shall I do on my rest days?

[boredattheoffice]

you should work :p

whats the best way to put out a fire?

[CaroPhoenix]

It doesn't, you slip through time.

What shall I do on my rest days?

Boogaloo til you puke.

Do I really want to hurt you?

[MannersMakethMan]

Boogaloo til you puke.

Do I really want to hurt you?

No, but I'm sure you really want to make me cry.

Where have I put it this time?

[CaroPhoenix]

No, but I'm sure you really want to make me cry.

Where have I put it this time?

The Milky Way.

When I took a nap earlier today, why did I dream about my brother-in-law, his wife and a ghost in my house?

[RootedPhoenix]

.....and now, I shall answer two questions with one answer.


When I took a nap earlier today, why did I dream about my brother-in-law, his wife and a ghost in my house?


whats the best way to put out a fire?
Pizza and pineapples. :D

Why am I hungry for Oreos?

[CaroPhoenix]

.....and now, I shall answer two questions with one answer.




Pizza and pineapples. :D

Why am I hungry for Oreos?

Because the bananas split. :rimshot:

How do I come up with my answers?

[BookstoreEscapee]

How do I come up with my answers?

Graverobbing.

Whodathunkit?

[crazylegs]

Graverobbing.

Whodathunkit?

Me!

What is coffee really made from?

[CaroPhoenix]

Me!

What is coffee really made from?

Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails.

Whom should I aspire to be when I finally grow up?

[crazylegs]

Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails.

Whom should I aspire to be when I finally grow up?

Flash Gordon!

Chores or internet?

[CaroPhoenix]

Flash Gordon!

Chores or internet?

That's easy! RUM!

Donald where's your troosers?

[DesignFox]

That's easy! RUM!

Donald where's your troosers?

The muffin man stole them.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

[CaroPhoenix]

The muffin man stole them.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Because rain puddles are just too depressing.

If you don't have a comb, what would you use to on your hair?

[Amina516]

Because rain puddles are just too depressing.

If you don't have a comb, what would you use to on your hair?

Whale Semen....:D


Where can i get some chocolate?

[DesignFox]

Whale Semen....:D


Where can i get some chocolate?

There is no chocolate here... *wipes mouth with napkin* :p

Why isn't anyone buying phones today?

[CaroPhoenix]

There is no chocolate here... *wipes mouth with napkin* :p

Why isn't anyone buying phones today?

Because mental telepathy is coming into vogue at the moment. :D

Why am I so cranky after going to Chuck E Cheese?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why am I so cranky after going to Chuck E Cheese?

Who over the age of 6 wouldn't be...

Idrinkarum's new avatar reminds me of something. What is it?

[Igorina]

Who over the age of 6 wouldn't be...

Idrinkarum's new avatar reminds me of something. What is it?


That cafe in Paris.

What are we gonna do when the money runs out?

[DesignFox]

That cafe in Paris.

What are we gonna do when the money runs out?

Set up a new trading system based on chocolate.

Can you feel the love tonight?

[CaroPhoenix]

Set up a new trading system based on chocolate.

Can you feel the love tonight?

Only if you're married to a "working girl".

Can you believe I did that?

[Dreamstalker]

If paid off properly, then yes.

Why is my ex such a flaming moronic nutball?

[DesignFox]

If paid off properly, then yes.

Why is my ex such a flaming moronic nutball?

Your ex has brain slugs.

How far is too far?

[CaroPhoenix]

Your ex has brain slugs.

How far is too far?

When the Vulcans and Klingons are having tea at the Mermaid Lagoon in Neverland.

What is in my toolbox?

[Dreamstalker]

Tapioca.

Why do the streets smell funny?

[DesignFox]

Tapioca.

Why do the streets smell funny?

Ask the skunks.

Want to buy a phone?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ask the skunks.

Want to buy a phone?

Only if it also can pose as a shoe.

Who can speak the language of the Dolly Dolphins?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Uh, no hablo ... sorry...

What the hell kind of name is Prebble?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Uh, no hablo ... sorry...

What the hell kind of name is Prebble?

The lost Flinstone.

Where's the beef?

[DesignFox]

The lost Flinstone.

Where's the beef?

I ate it all. *belch*

How funky is your chicken?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Where's the beef?

On the cow.

Why did my roommate have to burn the popcorn?

[Mike Taylor]

Only if you really insist on it.

Why do I like a moose?

Because you like ping pong balls falling on your head (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSpPyTNSlTU).

Why does my car have to die?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Cuz life's a bitch and then....

How is there a chocolate product that I don't like?

[CaroPhoenix]

Cuz life's a bitch and then....

How is there a chocolate product that I don't like?

You're a chocolate hating cylon. :p

Why am I watching Battlestar Galactica instead of going to bed?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Bodysnatchers.

When will my cough go away?

[Jack T. Chance]

Bodysnatchers.

When will my cough go away?
When the chestburster busts out of you, grabs a tophat and cane, then does a song and dance on the lunch counter! ;)

When will I be loved? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

3 years from Tuesday.

What's with all the paper cuts on my hands lately?

[DesignFox]

3 years from Tuesday.

What's with all the paper cuts on my hands lately?

The evil paper fairies don't like it when you shred documents.

How loose is your goose?

[XCashier]

Depends on how carefully I cook it.

When will my dreams come true?

[CaroPhoenix]

Depends on how carefully I cook it.

When will my dreams come true?

The day after never.

How can I make friends?

[crazylegs]

The day after never.

How can I make friends?

A complex chemical reaction involving DNA, extraction of host genetic material and a laboratory.

Who gave me this cold?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I did.

What? I had to get rid of it somehow..!

Can I ask you something?

[DesignFox]

I did.

What? I had to get rid of it somehow..!

Can I ask you something?

Didn't give me much of a choice there, did ya?

Why can't a get anyone to stick a crowbar into their wallets today?

[CaroPhoenix]

Didn't give me much of a choice there, did ya?

Why can't a get anyone to stick a crowbar into their wallets today?

Because they have crowbar-proof wallets.

Where can I buy a pair of chainmail boxers?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because they have crowbar-proof wallets.

Where can I buy a pair of chainmail boxers?

Same place you can get urban legend socks.

Why have I had a chill and been sleepy most of the day today?

[RootedPhoenix]

Because there are unicorns dancing on your roof without making a sound.

Why are the Beatles in my head right now?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because there are unicorns dancing on your roof without making a sound.

Why are the Beatles in my head right now?

OMG! Quick, spray some raid in your ears to get the little buggers out!

Why am I seeing Elvis in my dreams?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

OMG! Quick, spray some raid in your ears to get the little buggers out!

Why am I seeing Elvis in my dreams?

That's not Elvis . . . that's Elvira in drag:p

Are you lonesome tonight?

[Jack T. Chance]

That's not Elvis . . . that's Elvira in drag:p

Are you lonesome tonight?
Of course I am! It IS Valentine's Day Singles Awareness Day, after all! ;)

Who let the dogs out? :confused:

[XCashier]

You did, don't you remember? It was either that or scrub the rug again...

Won't somebody think of the children?

[CaroPhoenix]

You did, don't you remember? It was either that or scrub the rug again...

Won't somebody think of the children?

I do, and I think they'd taste better in a garlic lemon sauce instead of a tomato alfredo.

You know I'm hungry, right?

[crazylegs]

I do, and I think they'd taste better in a garlic lemon sauce instead of a tomato alfredo.

You know I'm hungry, right?

No.

When will this sodding cold bugger off?

[DesignFox]

No.

When will this sodding cold bugger off?

At about the same time the museum closes.

Why is my cereal talking to me?

[crazylegs]

At about the same time the museum closes.

Why is my cereal talking to me?

It's the LSD you're taking...

Why do my nostrils hurt?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Stop running around with forks in your hand (http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/forknose.asp)...

Oh say can you say?

[crazylegs]

Stop running around with forks in your hand (http://www.snopes.com/photos/medical/forknose.asp)...

Oh say can you say?

Say what now?

What time is it there?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Time to make the donuts.

Glazed or jelly?

[crazylegs]

Time to make the donuts.

Glazed or jelly?

Custard, it's the only way! :p

Who will rid me of this troublesome cough?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Not me. I've got my own to deal with.

Why would you want to be on Bridezillas?

[DesignFox]

Not me. I've got my own to deal with.

Why would you want to be on Bridezillas?

Because you're a crazy 'ho who wants to make money.

Who put the fun in funeral?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because you're a crazy 'ho who wants to make money.

Who put the fun in funeral?

Ghost Rider & the Crypt Keeper!

Why have I been dreaming of alcohol-fueled parties?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Diesel is too expensive.

Why, when you bite your lip once, you keep biting the same spot over and over again? :cry:

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Diesel is too expensive.

Why, when you bite your lip once, you keep biting the same spot over and over again? :cry:

Because you're secretly into pain . . .

Will tomorrow ever come?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because you're secretly into pain . . .

Will tomorrow ever come?

Yes, but only if the sun never rises.

What should I put on my hat to decorate it?

[DesignFox]

Yes, but only if the sun never rises.

What should I put on my hat to decorate it?

jingle bells!

What's the password?

[XCashier]

Antidisestablishmentarianism!

What the hell?!

[DesignFox]

Antidisestablishmentarianism!

What the hell?!

Don't ask me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered?

[CaroPhoenix]

Don't ask me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered?

Tinker's Belle.

Who is Franklin?

[crazylegs]

Tinker's Belle.

Who is Franklin?

A fish.

How do you make paper?

[CaroPhoenix]

A fish.

How do you make paper?

A gum wrapper, a wire coat hanger and MacGuyver's "tool box".

Why is it against the law to kill someone?

[Jack T. Chance]

A gum wrapper, a wire coat hanger and MacGuyver's "tool box".

Why is it against the law to kill someone?Because The Man's always gotta spoil our fun! :rant:

If it's called Tourist Season, why's it illegal to shoot them? :confused:

(Actually, I think I just answered that one myself! ;))

[CaroPhoenix]

Because The Man's always gotta spoil our fun! :rant:

If it's called Tourist Season, why's it illegal to shoot them? :confused:

(Actually, I think I just answered that one myself! ;))

Actually, the man allows us to shoot tourists, but only if you fill out the paperwork in triplicate and get E.T. to come back to Earth and leave his home for at least 50 years and you have to spin around until you fall down and then you have to get up and perform the Chicken Dance.

How do I come up with these types of explanations?

[DesignFox]

How do I come up with these types of explanations?

There are more voices shouting in your head than in mine.

Is it show time, yet?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Is it show time, yet?

No, it's HBO.

What's for dinner?

[CaroPhoenix]

No, it's HBO.

What's for dinner?

something that's deeply fried and we're not sure if it's actually food or not.

Why not drink at 11 in the morning?

[DesignFox]

something that's deeply fried and we're not sure if it's actually food or not.

Why not drink at 11 in the morning?

Because it's better to be sleeping still.

Who says I can't draw on the walls?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because it's better to be sleeping still.

Who says I can't draw on the walls?

Yo mama

Why am I still online when I need to be going to sleep?

[CaroPhoenix]

Yo mama

Why am I still online when I need to be going to sleep?

Because the Sand Man decided to skip your house.

What is the biggest even to take place in a tent?

[BookstoreEscapee]

What is the biggest even to take place in a tent?

The Big Bang. (God was on a camping trip, you see, and had a little mishap with a camp stove...)

It's 8:45. Do you know where your children are?

[DesignFox]

The Big Bang. (God was on a camping trip, you see, and had a little mishap with a camp stove...)

It's 8:45. Do you know where your children are?

Watching the hockey game of course.

How many ponies are in my My Little Pony collection?

[CaroPhoenix]

Watching the hockey game of course.

How many ponies are in my My Little Pony collection?

One. But it's a really large My Little Pony.

Why should I care about the Biggest Loser?

[BookstoreEscapee]

To make sure you're not it.

If you put bananas in your ice cream, does that make it health food?

[DesignFox]

To make sure you're not it.

If you put bananas in your ice cream, does that make it health food?

suuuure it does. :D

Who's the fairest of them all?

[BookstoreEscapee]

suuuure it does. :D

Who's the fairest of them all?

This one (http://icanhascheezburger.com/?s=mirra%2C+mirra).


Has you seen mah bukkit?

[DesignFox]

This one (http://icanhascheezburger.com/?s=mirra%2C+mirra).


Has you seen mah bukkit?

mah bukkit nao.

is it safe?

[BookstoreEscapee]

mah bukkit nao.

is it safe?

No, watch your step (http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/07/10/funny-pictures-i-thlipped/).


What did I come in here for? :headscratch:

[Jack T. Chance]

No, watch your step (http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/07/10/funny-pictures-i-thlipped/).


What did I come in here for? :headscratch:
The hugs! :hug:

Did you know that every time you can has, god kills a lolcat?! ;)

[CaroPhoenix]

The hugs! :hug:

Did you know that every time you can has, god kills a lolcat?! ;)

Huh huh! That would be Basement Cat. :p

What helps you develop an appreciation of community?

[DesignFox]

What helps you develop an appreciation of community?

wandering around by yourself in the desert for a month comes to mind...

Why does the weather have to go to shit on the days I'm off from work?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why does the weather have to go to shit on the days I'm off from work?

Too much bran cereal.

Why don't I like this pizza?

[CaroPhoenix]

Too much bran cereal.

Why don't I like this pizza?

Because the piza is a LIE!

What should I watch on TV tonight?

[DesignFox]

Because the piza is a LIE!

What should I watch on TV tonight?

The price is right.

Why can't I do this?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because you have to do that first.


How did that happen?

[DesignFox]

Because you have to do that first.


How did that happen?

Well, there was a thing...and this guy...and then some dude did something...but then the other guy went somewhere else...and it was just like in that movie!

What will it take to get me out of this bad mood?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Rum!


Now where did I put the Coke?

[Jack T. Chance]

Rum!


Now where did I put the Coke?
In the pantry?! ;)

Why do women hate me? :confused:

[DesignFox]

Why do women hate me? :confused:

'Cause it's that time of the month...

What kind of drink should I mix next? :angel: