Extremely wrong answers to obvious questions....GAME!

[Wingates_Hellsing]

If you count the acid rain, yes.

Who put the bang in the bang sha-bang sha-bang?

[CaroPhoenix]

Pretty Boy Floyd.

Who's coming up next?

[XCashier]

The frat guys in this thread (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=44390)!

Who wants a cold one?

[Jack T. Chance]

The frat guys in this thread (http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=44390)!

Who wants a cold one?Not me! I need a HOTTIE to warm up my bed tonight! :eyewaggle:

Any volunteers? (Females only, please. Sorry, guys, I don't swing that way. :p)

[BookstoreEscapee]

Forward your resume and pictures and I will get back to you. :eyewaggle:

What the hell is wrong with you?!

[Jack T. Chance]

Forward you resume and pictures and I will get back to you. :eyewaggle:

What the hell is wrong with you?!You mean, aside from the fact that I only just found out today that my company is closing all their stores in the DC area next week, so I'm about to be out of a job? :confused:

Well, other than that.... Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over! :devil:

Who's a guy have to kill to get a STABLE job these days?!? :confused:

Seriously, I'd like to know. I want a name, pictures, an address, and a Presidential Pardon issued IN ADVANCE pardoning me fully for killing the rat bastard! :devil:

[Chanlin]

The current stable hand duh.... :rimshot:

What's the cure for the common cold?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Firepower.

What do the Dutch do best?

[CaroPhoenix]

But their fingers in ... dams.

How about those Eagles?

[XCashier]

Yeah, great band!

Did they reunite again?

[DesignFox]

Yeah, great band!

Did they reunite again?

nope. They all flew away.

Why am I obsessive about new things?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because there's something wrong with you! There's something very, very wrong with you!!

Why am I so unmotivated?

[DesignFox]

Because there's something wrong with you! There's something very, very wrong with you!!

Why am I so unmotivated?

Because the miasma has drained it away.

What else is new?

[CaroPhoenix]

The widget that replaced the doohickey with the whatchamacallit.

Where are the Wonder Pets going to show up next?

[DesignFox]

Where are the Wonder Pets going to show up next?

At a brothel.

Will the weather improve by tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

Of course! But only if the day ends in an "f" and will be a floating holiday.

Who wants to watch the Cherry Blossom Rugby Tournament?

[DesignFox]

Who wants to watch the Cherry Blossom Rugby Tournament?

Will there be Rum? 'cause if so, I'm there!

How much fun will this season be?

[BookstoreEscapee]

More than you can stand. But the season only lasts a half day.

Does every rose really have its thorn? Do any of them have someone else's thorn?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

More than you can stand. But the season only lasts a half day.

Does every rose really have its thorn? Do any of them have someone else's thorn?

Sometimes the thorns are adopted, some are biological. But most roses have thorns either way.

When will I get to see the sun again?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Undead will most likely see the sun again at the time of their death.

.9mm, or .50 AE?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Undead will most likely see the sun again at the time of their death.

.9mm, or .50 AE?

Go with .9mm . . . it sounds larger.:p

Why can't I get offline and go start laundry?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

The internets is too much funn :3

Woher bist du?

Note: actually .50 AE is larger, as it is .5 inches in diameter :3

[CaroPhoenix]

Only 'cos I like you.

Who wants to see a duck moo?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Only 'cos I like you.

Who wants to see a duck moo?

Duck's don't moo . . . cats do. Ducks are quakers anyway.:p

Why do mice like peanut butter?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Who doesn't like butter? It comes from those mooing cats :P

How much am I?

[CaroPhoenix]

Free but only if someone pays $1,299,367.99 for shipping and handling.

Has Perry Mason ever lost a case?

[XCashier]

Yeah, and it was his favorite one, too, the nice Corinthian leather case with the solid gold latches...

Are you my mummy?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only in my past lives.

Oh Richie, where did you go?

[SengaKitty]

To the party with me last night! Man can Richie ever do some awesome fire play!

Oh sun where art thou?!

[BookstoreEscapee]

It's peeking out over New Jersey.

Why do I get a headache every weekend?

[SengaKitty]

You're not getting enough play time

Why did I let my housework get so far behind?!

[XCashier]

It needs to grow longer legs so it can catch up!

Why does a watched pot never boil?

[SengaKitty]

Because it's shy!

Why do I feel so hopeful about this week?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because Atlantis has really been found this weekend.

Why is Richie Rich?

[RootedPhoenix]

He likes alliteration. :p

When will I have all of my laundry done?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

When you're standing naked in the laundry room washing the clothes you went there in.

2 + 2 = bannanas? how?

[CaroPhoenix]

The monkeys are now in charge of the mathematics department.

Go for it?

[SengaKitty]

YES! This is the week to go for things :D

Why am I so giddy this morning?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

I laced your coffe with adrenaline, sorry about that, wrong house :rolleyes:

H-E Double What?

[CaroPhoenix]

7's! And luck will be a laddie tonight. ;)

Why do I hear crying in my head?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

7's! And luck will be a laddie tonight. ;)

Why do I hear crying in my head?

Those are the brain cells calling out to save them from the endless stupidity.

Why did Jimmy crack corn?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I don't care.

Why won't my3cents work for me?

[XCashier]

Inflation.

Why does my internet connection slow to a crawl when I need it to move at a decent pace?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Inflation.

Why does my internet connection slow to a crawl when I need it to move at a decent pace?

Because where you're moving it to is not where the Internet wants to be.

If your hands itch, it means you're supposed to come into some money. But what does it mean when your neck itches?

[CaroPhoenix]

You're allergic to your girlfriend's lipstick.

If I were a basket of strawberry jam, where would I hide?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You're allergic to your girlfriend's lipstick.

If I were a basket of strawberry jam, where would I hide?

The Witless Protection Program . . .:p

Is there any way to keep the rain away tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

Cover your entire area with umbrellas.

How do you keep a turkey from drying out?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Throw it to the sharks, every shredded bit will be perfectly moist with seawater.

Why does everyone at the airsoft field shoot for the head?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because anywhere else would be too easy.

Where are my shoes?

[XCashier]

Carmen Sandiego took them.

Where do you want to go today?

[SengaKitty]

Work, if only

Will I get a job this week?

[Jack T. Chance]

Work, if only

Will I get a job this week?Only if you're fully prepared to ask suggest "You want fries with that" for a living! ;)

When will I-I be loved?

[CaroPhoenix]

When you're the second to the last man on earth. :p ;)

Who am I to say otherwise?

[SengaKitty]

Carmen Sandiego :p

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Not me, I'm rockin the DEagle :devil:

Who put that box in the road?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The chicken dropped it when he was crossing the road earlier today.

Will you respect me in the morning?

[CaroPhoenix]

Just barely, and only if you give me the secret of life.

Where are all the babies?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

We men cannot confirm that those babies do now, or have ever existed. Child support is for suckers and babbie daddies (same thing).

Who let the dogs out?

[SengaKitty]

I did, I need them to get my cat...

How do I ever, ever survive?

[DesignFox]

I did, I need them to get my cat...

How do I ever, ever survive?

The grim reaper hasn't called you, yet.

What is the ending to the neverending story?

[CaroPhoenix]

The ending to the "Song that never ends".

Do you trust me?

[XCashier]

Don't know; let's see how far I can throw you...

Where, oh where has my little dog gone?

[CaroPhoenix]

To the cave party in the mermaid's garden.

Where is my Sherman the Wherman?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Locked in epic armored battle with German tanks, it's hard to pilot a Sherman when you're a Wherman.

Do you use your powers for evil, or awesome?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ineptitude actually.

Who will kiss little bear?

[taurinejunkie]

A suicidal guy who wants to get mauled by Mama Bear.

Should I stay or should I go?

[CaroPhoenix]

Meh ... who am I to say what you should do?

How should we stoop Swiper?

[DesignFox]

as low as you can go.

What's at the end of the rainbow?

[BookstoreEscapee]

A puddle of paint...

Why don't you have a seat over here?

[DesignFox]

A puddle of paint...

Why don't you have a seat over here?

because I, sadly, wasn't invited. :cry:

Why didn't you invite me? :cry:

[BookstoreEscapee]

I, uh, lost your address...

Who'll stop the rain?

[taurinejunkie]

Hold on, let me go give the sky a death stare.

Where do you run, where do you go, when the holes in your truth are starting to show?

Cookies for knowing where that question comes from.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Under a rock . . . . that's where everyone else is.

What do I want to snack on right now?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Oreo-cream cheese-coated brussels sprouts

(one of the teachers at my roommate's school made them for April Fools Day :D)

Should I get up at noon tomorrow, or sleep in?

[Jack T. Chance]

Should I get up at noon tomorrow, or sleep in?
Neither. You should go to work for me so I can sleep in! ;)

Why am I so tired tonight? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the bright light of the second star to the right is spilling into your eyelids as we speak.

Does my husband really need his beauty sleep?

[SengaKitty]

Yes, you kept him up all night last night!

Why is my cat licking the miniblinds?

[CaroPhoenix]

Someone secretly dusted them with catnip.

What have you always wanted to say?

[SengaKitty]

You can take my land, but you can never take my freedom!

Do you want to come exploring the Highlands with me?

[DesignFox]

You can take my land, but you can never take my freedom!

Do you want to come exploring the Highlands with me?

I will, but only if we can explore the Lowlands when we're done.

Why do customers FLOCK to the store on the weekends I'm working alone, but seemingly refuse to show up on the days I have help? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

They don't want you to be lonely.

What makes Cadbury eggs so addictive?

[Jack T. Chance]

Why do customers FLOCK to the store on the weekends I'm working alone, but seemingly refuse to show up on the days I have help? :confused:My theory: Their Sucky Customer Sense was tingling like crazy, telling them that it was The Most Inconvenient Time Imaginable for them to come bug you! And as we all know, SCs love nothing better than bugging you at TMITI! ;)What makes Cadbury eggs so addictive?It's the Secret Ingredient: Cocaine! :devil:

Why didn't I bring a Cadbury Orange Creme Egg to work with me? :confused:

Now I want one! :(

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why didn't I bring a Cadbury Orange Creme Egg to work with me? :confused:

Because you lost your Easter spirit. (The orange ones are OK, but the originals are still the best.)

Which way does the wind blow?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because you lost your Easter spirit. (The orange ones are OK, but the originals are still the best.)

Which way does the wind blow?Today? Very strongly! It's a blustery day!

BTW, the best ones were officially the Cadbury Chocolate Creme Eggs! :D

But then those bastards at Cadbury discontinued them! I'm still waiting for my fellow chocoholics to sound the call to arms, so we can raid their corporate HQ and demand satisfaction! :devil:

Until then, the eternal question remains... why the FRAK did those FRAKKIN' TOASTERS discontinue the Chocolate Creme Eggs?!? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

Until then, the eternal question remains... why the FRAK did those FRAKKIN' TOASTERS discontinue the Chocolate Creme Eggs?!? :confused:

I don't think I ever saw those! Those Bastards!!!

They did it because you were the only one who liked them.

Will my drugs be ready when I get there?

[DesignFox]

Will my drugs be ready when I get there?

Of course not. You know how these things go.

Is it 5 o'clock, yet?

[BookstoreEscapee]

5:45...my time, at least...

Love it or hate it?


(oh, and my drugs were ready...yay!)

[Jack T. Chance]

5:45...my time, at least...

Love it or hate it?Love to do it! :eyewaggle:

Why is it that the last 2 hours of the day go by so slowly? :confused:

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because they're very tired.

What's for dessert?

[Jack T. Chance]

Because they're very tired.

What's for dessert?Death By Chocolate!!! :D

That's the easy part! The REAL question right now is... what's for DINNER? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Tuna and peanut butter cakes with a side of cold gravy with a hair in it.

What's after Noggin?

[RootedPhoenix]

Cookies and milk. :D

What's the best use for ramen noodles?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Sacrifice to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

How did all that crap get under my chair?

[Chanlin]

Um... sorry I had an accident :fart: :D :o

Would you like to play a game?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Games are the Debil! The DEBIL!!! :devil:

So, what are we playing?

[CaroPhoenix]

Tiddly winks with the heads of our enemas.

Can you feel the luv tonight?

[Trayol]

Is that what's touching me?!?!?!?!?

Who's doing the snow dance in Illinois?

[DesignFox]

Is that what's touching me?!?!?!?!?

Who's doing the snow dance in Illinois?

I'm doing the sun dance in New Jersey. :D

What's happening here?

[Chanlin]

Nothing... nothing to see at all... *hides a conspicuously visible body* move along... theres absolutely nothing happening here. :D

Hey what's that over there?

*runs away while you're distracted*

[DesignFox]

Hey what's that over there?

*runs away while you're distracted*

You, running away. You haven't hidden yourself as well as you thought you did.

What kind of beverage am I enjoying?

[XCashier]

A wet one.

Why does my cat keep getting under my feet?!

[BookstoreEscapee]

To test your agility.

Why can't I have a puppy? :cry:

[SengaKitty]

Because you need a cat instead

Why are my fingers swollen?

[CaroPhoenix]

You licked all the salt off the pretzels.

How can we save my cupcakes?

[SengaKitty]

Freeze them! Cupcakes freeze well :D

Am I going to get news tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

Maybe, if the reporter doesn't get stopped in morning traffic.

Who will play on the flying trapeeze?

[raije]

The cows, because they haven't been put out to pasture yet.


Is the world coming to an end?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, it's just beginning...

Where do the stars come from?

[CaroPhoenix]

When God sneezes, the LOLPeople die.

Why should I go to bed?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because bed won't come to you.

Who left the lights on?

[CaroPhoenix]

The same person who let the dogs out.

Who should win at the game of life?

[XCashier]

Everybody loses in the end.

Will the circle be unbroken?

[CaroPhoenix]

Surprise! Maybe in the 3rd cycle of the circle show.

Remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No, never heard of it.

Who's been eating my porridge?

[CaroPhoenix]

Perry Mason & Della Street.

Who am I?

[Trayol]

"Frankly Scarlett, I don't give a damn."

Who killed Mr. Boddy?

[CaroPhoenix]

Mrs. Boddy because he tried to steal her inheritance.

Why is my daughter sitting in a laundry basket?

[DesignFox]

Mrs. Boddy because he tried to steal her inheritance.

Why is my daughter sitting in a laundry basket?

What you don't realize is that the laundry basket is actually a time machine.

What would I do if I had a time machine?

[CaroPhoenix]

Go back in time to prevent the smooching of Sleeping Beauty by her Prince Charming.

Why would that be bad?

[DesignFox]

Go back in time to prevent the smooching of Sleeping Beauty by her Prince Charming.

Why would that be bad?

'Cause then the whole castle would stay asleep forever.

Why are the Devils losing to the Maple Leafs?! :cry:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the Maple Leafs are playing sticky. :D

Who is the best man, Charlie Brown?

[DesignFox]

Because the Maple Leafs are playing sticky. :D

Who is the best man, Charlie Brown?

You've got it all wrong. We're looking for the maid of honor.

Why the long face?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because of the smiles - there's a mile between the S's.

Why do Peeps blow up in the microwave?

[DesignFox]

Why do Peeps blow up in the microwave?

Because they are full of hot air.

Why is everything so difficult today?

[XCashier]

The universe is feeling cranky.

Why is chocolate so soothing?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because that's the one that was named by Eve.

Who will have the upper hand now?

[BookstoreEscapee]

The right side (I sleep on my left).

When will Jesus bring the pork chops? (RIP George Carlin)

[dalesys]

He won't. Pork is treyf. (not kosher - he's a good Jewish boy:D)

Why am I painting the living room?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because it can't paint itself.

Who has a criminal mind?

[DesignFox]

Not me. :angel:

What are real friends for?

[CaroPhoenix]

To pay off the aliens who abducted you.

Why is my husband annoying?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

To pay off the aliens who abducted you.

Why is my husband annoying?

Because he didn't come with an instruction manual or a remote control.:p

Do I want something to drink right now or something to eat?

[DesignFox]

Because he didn't come with an instruction manual or a remote control.:p

Do I want something to drink right now or something to eat?

Both.

Will the suspense kill me?

[BookstoreEscapee]

No but it may leave you permanently incapacitated.

How many animals start with the letter U, anyway?

[XCashier]

Not nearly enough! :eek:

Why do so many animal names end with a "u"?!

[CaroPhoenix]

1, but only when it feels like it.

When will my coffee be done brewing?

[RootedPhoenix]

When it's time for Animaniacs (and we're zany to the max...) :D :p

Why am I moving so slow this morning?

[CaroPhoenix]

You're not moving slow, the world is going really really really fast.

What will Pinky Dinky Do?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Pinky will take over the world (http://ihasahotdog.com/2008/05/22/funny-dog-pictures-try-to-take-over-the-world/)!!!

Why does the plan always fail?

[CaroPhoenix]

The Penguin never helps.

Are peas in pods really close?

[XCashier]

Yeah, but only because they can't afford a condominium.

Wherefore art thou Romeo?

[CaroPhoenix]

Chasing the skirts of the male understudy of Juliet.

Where will I find true love?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Look in a bag of Conversation Hearts. :love:

So, you, uh, come here often?

[CaroPhoenix]

Too much ... I prefer here than being in bed with my husband. :ashamed:

What is the next energy-saving mission?

[XCashier]

Save your energy; just kick back and veg! ;)

Is there a bustle in your hedgerow?

[CaroPhoenix]

I didn't even know my hedge could grow.

Who are we going to save today?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Save the cheerleader, save the world!

why is my creme egg melting in my hand?

[XCashier]

Because you're taking too long to eat it!

Do you have an extra one for me? Pretty please?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Because you're taking too long to eat it!

Do you have an extra one for me? Pretty please?

Unfortunately the cat hasn't laid any more today, so I'm fresh out. Maybe next year though . .

Why oh why would any company schedule a store inventory on Easter Monday? :doh:

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the 7th son of a 7th son has decreed that the moon is in the Age of Aquarius and that means inventory needs to be done.

Can we get baby redfish home to his family?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Just find Nemo . . . he'll handle the rest;)

Why are dogwoods called dogwoods if the blooms don't look like puppies?

[BookstoreEscapee]

For the same reason catfish are called catfish when the babies don't look like kittens.

Why didn't I put the puppy in my pocket and RUN?



Because you're taking too long to eat it!

Do you have an extra one for me? Pretty please?

Actually I bought two more boxes today cuz I figure it's my last shot for the year..:p

[Trayol]

Because the wocket in your locket has severe allergies.

Why are there footprints on my head?

[CaroPhoenix]

The reindeer confused yo for grandma.

Where do we go next?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Find a Travelocity gnome and hang out with him for a month. He should show you some interesting places . . .and you might find Nemo in your travels as a bonus.

If there's such a thing as a self-cleaning oven, why can't there be a self-cleaning house?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because not enough men have gotten together to come up with a small iota of a brain to figure out how to implement it yet.

Why doesn't a woman decide to invent the self-cleaning house?

[XCashier]

We're too busy cleaning the regular house to invent a self-cleaning one. Bummer.

Where does that leave us?

[dalesys]

Sheep outta luck.

Where's contrary Mary?

[CaroPhoenix]

Conjunction Junction.

What's that function?

[BookstoreEscapee]

I was told there'd be no math.

Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school?

[CaroPhoenix]

And I've smelled them too! Phew!

What is happening at 6:30 in the morning?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And I've smelled them too! Phew!

What is happening at 6:30 in the morning?

Solar Equinox. Or I was already at work and the Inventory crew was just rolling in the parking lot.

Either way, you were better off hiding under the covers.

Why can't my yard dry out completely before it starts raining again?

[CaroPhoenix]

Because the swamp <claps> wants you!

What should I change in to?

[Broomjockey]

A muffin!

If I have 32 doughnuts, and give 94 to Steve, what's the price of barley in Tijuana?

[CaroPhoenix]

5 Below the current 10 merchandise at the Dollar Store.

Is this too much for me?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

5 Below the current 10 merchandise at the Dollar Store.

Is this too much for me?

Not until the Mathmatical Gods say so . . .

So what should one do during a solar equinox?

[CaroPhoenix]

Lay back, enjoy the sight and have a brewski.

If I slip up, will I be forced to go home?

[SengaKitty]

Yes yes you will

Can I be not okay for a minute?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only for a minute then for the next 59 minutes, you have to be have.

Why am I addicted to coffee?

[Trayol]

Because jonesing went out of style.

Is there a cure to procrastination?

[SengaKitty]

Yes, but I'll tell you about it later...

Why do I have to do taxes?

[Broomjockey]

Why do I have to do taxes?

Taxes or death are the only choices.

What's better? The view from a penthouse, or the view from a basement?

[SengaKitty]

Penthouse... then you can look down on everyone in the world like they're ants...

Can things possibly get any worse today?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yes...today could never end...

How do you say SHUT THE F#@! UP in Russian?

[Jack T. Chance]

Yes...today could never end...

How do you say SHUT THE F#@! UP in Russian?"Shut the fuck up in Russian!" ;)

Who do I have to KILL to get a job at a furniture or mattress store, where said job is stable enough that I'll still HAVE IT 3 or 4 years from now, WITHOUT having to work for Sleepy's Sleazy's, the Mattress Professionals Con Artists?!? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

These are the people you have to kill (and it's in this order): Dopey, Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Happy, and Sleepy. Then you have to kill the 3 little pigs too.

Who's coming to your house?

[SengaKitty]

You are, to help me keep Sir tied up in the closet til Wednesday..

Who's going to hire me?

[CaroPhoenix]

Everyone in your town will be offering you employment within the next year. Give or take a few stores.

What is hidden deep within our dreams?

[SengaKitty]

The matrix... and the real cake, even though the cake is a lie.

What will I do today?

[DesignFox]

The matrix... and the real cake, even though the cake is a lie.

What will I do today?

You will drop everything and bring me five thousand cadbury cream eggs.

:angel:

How much madness can one person take?

[CaroPhoenix]

In the case of my house, obviously not enough. :runaway: But at least we all get to enjoy it while it lasts. :D

Who is the tweetiest?

[SengaKitty]

Bugs bunny

Where am I going to put everything?!

[sexiphatchick]

Ireland


What is the square root of 144?

[Trayol]

It grows around a square foundation.

Where might I find the other half of the golden amulet?

[XCashier]

I think Little Orphan Annie has it.

Do they have any tea on this spaceship?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Yes but you have to keep your pinkie in the air while you drink it.

Who's going to help me steal 5000 Cadbury Creme Eggs from...someone...?

[DesignFox]

Yes but you have to keep your pinkie in the air while you drink it.

Who's going to help me steal 5000 Cadbury Creme Eggs from...someone...?

Me! Oh...wait...

Can anyone be persuaded to share 5000 Cadbury Creme Eggs?

[CaroPhoenix]

Only if you give them something more precious than 5000 Cadbury Creme Eggs and I'm not sure if there is anything more precious than that.

What sandwich should we put in a purple paper bag?

[Trayol]

Bologna and Jelly

Who would like to send me fruit snacks?

[DesignFox]

Bologna and Jelly

Who would like to send me fruit snacks?

I think BookStoreEscapee should, since she's been threatening to steal my Creme Eggs. :D

How excited am I about tonight's hockey game?

[CaroPhoenix]

So excited that you'll be getting your hockey club out to punt the golf ball into the big hoop at the end of the sidelines.

What are you talkin' about Willis?

[XCashier]

What are you talkin' about Willis?
Primarily (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Willis) cricket and Bob Dylan.

How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?

[CaroPhoenix]

I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's the square root of 42 X 666.

Am I a lot evil or a little evil?

[BookstoreEscapee]

You're a medium evil.

Why did I feel the need to find out the square root of 42 x 666?


(It's 167.248318377196):o

[Jack T. Chance]

You're a medium evil.

Why did I feel the need to find out the square root of 42 x 666?


(It's 167.248318377196):oBecause, that's why! ;)

Why does the pollen hate me so? *cough cough, wheeze, cough!*
:confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

They have to hate someone, so they held a lottery and you "won".

How can I save an extra 20%?

[SengaKitty]

Give them an arm instead of a leg?

How am I going to do my hair today?

[BookstoreEscapee]

A big fancy updo!!

Where did my kitty go on his adventure outside yesterday? (I sure hope he had fun, cuz he won't be having another chance any time soon!)

[CaroPhoenix]

He visited the 3 little pigs, had porridge with the 3 bears and helped clean the cottage of the 7 dwarfs with Snow White.

Why am I tinking of fairy tales lately?

[XCashier]

Because you're a Cool Mummy!

Are kids nature's way of driving us insane?

[CaroPhoenix]

Nature is kids' way of driving us insane. :D

Do you want to be a moco jumbie?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Not if it interferes with being an Internet junkie.:angel:

Why don't birds fly at night?

[CaroPhoenix]

They don't have any place to put their night lights.

How do I become a junk food junkie?

[SengaKitty]

Go get lots of twinkies and ice cream and chips, and eat them

Why does Sir want to leave me here alone?

[CaroPhoenix]

He doesn't but the forces of nature have decided he's going to be the new North Wind.

Who committed the crime if it wasn't the butler?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The ex-wife, who was probably upset that her alimony was being cut.

Who would give a clue?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Who would give a clue?

Mrs. Peacock, in the library, with the candlestick.

What do I want for dinner?

[CaroPhoenix]

A nine course meal that includes liverwurst, vegamite and some pickled pigs feet as dessert.

Who is the hottie?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That would be me.:p

Where do birds go when it rains?

[XCashier]

Inside the nearest Costco.

Why don't we have nice days like this more often?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because then you wouldn't appreciate them.

Do I really have to go to work tomorrow?

[CaroPhoenix]

You really don't need to go to work, but if you really want a paycheck, you might have to do something tomorrow. ;)

Will I live or die if I eat my husband's cooking?

[DesignFox]

You really don't need to go to work, but if you really want a paycheck, you might have to do something tomorrow. ;)

Will I live or die if I eat my husband's cooking?

Well, if you don't answer the next question, I guess we'll have found out.

Would you believe that I played Clue for the first time this Saturday?

[XCashier]

Yep.

Are you saying you've never had a Clue before? :devil:

[CaroPhoenix]

I have played Clue before! It was in the dining room with Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet with the board game and the D&D Monsters in the next room.

Did you know there is a Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) version of Clue?

[Jack T. Chance]

I have played Clue before! It was in the dining room with Professor Plum and Miss Scarlet with the board game and the D&D Monsters in the next room.

Did you know there is a Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) version of Clue?Yes, but I'm guessing you didn't! ;)

Does anyone actually like 4th Edition D&D? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Only those who think that D&D was too long and boring and needed to have it spiced up and sexified.

Does anyone want to play the 24 version of Clue with me?

[DesignFox]

Does anyone want to play the 24 version of Clue with me?

Only if I can be the Dungeon Master.

Where did I put that Clue-by-four...?

[CaroPhoenix]

You left it shoved down the throat of a backside beret who really needed it.

Why do my daughter like to be naughty?

[dalesys]

Heredity!

Why is my daughter spending the summer in a hole in the ground?

[CaroPhoenix]

She thinks she's Bugs Bunny.

What would you want ten thousand dollars or 1 pound of anything?

[Bandit]

What would you want ten thousand dollars or 1 pound of anything?

Elvis is everywhere.

So, who DID frame Roger Rabbit?

B

[CaroPhoenix]

Dean, the junior manager at the Michael's framing department.

Are you desperate to make it to the finale?

[DesignFox]

Dean, the junior manager at the Michael's framing department.

Are you desperate to make it to the finale?

YES. ;)

What were the refs smoking tonight?

[taurinejunkie]

Refer.

Where did I leave my iPod?

[Bandit]

Where did I leave my iPod?

Call Elvis.

Who'll stop the rain?

B

[XCashier]

John Fogerty.

Who will you run to when it all falls down?

[CaroPhoenix]

The carpenter who made the building and I'm going to do some major butt kicking ala Buffy.

Why am I enjoying books based on the Buffy show but I didn't enjoy the Buffy show itself? :confused:

[XCashier]

The theater of the mind is so much better than anything on TV.

Who's gonna pick your world up off the ground?

[CaroPhoenix]

Atlas 'cos he can't shrug anymore due to the fact his shoulders fell off.

Am I more than my hair?

[XCashier]

Not if you're Cousin Itt.

Who's gonna take away the tears you cry?

[CaroPhoenix]

The Kirkland brand tissues I have on hand.

Which is better: Ice Hockey or Field Hockey?

[XCashier]

Neither; Air Hockey!

Who's gonna love you baby as good as I?

[SengaKitty]

Chaos and Gaian :-P

When will Sir come home?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Very soon, I hear the temperatures in hell are reaching -30 soon as well.

so what?

[CaroPhoenix]

I didn't do what with the who in the where at the when nor did we do it how.

Did you follow my answer?

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Yeah, but it got me nowhere. Which, incidentaly is where I was trying to get, so thanks for nothing.

Why is my dog looking at me like that?

[CaroPhoenix]

He's trying to decide if you really are wearing milkbone underwear.

You're welcome to what?

[DesignFox]

He's trying to decide if you really are wearing milkbone underwear.

You're welcome to what?

No soup for you!

Will my horse keep himself clean, now that he's just had a bath?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Not if he decides to go for a roll in the hay.

Why am I sweating out here and I'm only wearing a tank top and jeans?

[CaroPhoenix]

Don't forget, you're female. That means you don't sweat, you glow.

Why does my cat have a happy tail?

[BookstoreEscapee]

His tail is gettin' some on the side...:eyewaggle:

Why don't I just go to bed?

[DesignFox]

His tail is gettin' some on the side...:eyewaggle:

Why don't I just go to bed?

Because like me, you are a glutton for punishment.

Why clap if you're happy and you know it?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Because hugging random people can get you arrested.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

[DesignFox]

Because hugging random people can get you arrested.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

millions of microscopic pores screaming in agony.

What makes you think I'm crazy?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Uh, I've met you...


Why are cars so damn expensive?

[CaroPhoenix]

Ask your mother.

What is he doing?

[Jack T. Chance]

Ask your mother.

What is he doing?Moi? I'm doing... absolutely nothing that you need to worry about! :angel:

Wait... what?!? :confused:

[CaroPhoenix]

Okay, now I'm worried because you told me not to worry and that always signals the worrying trait in me.

Now what?

[DGoddessChardonnay]

That already happened.

Then what?