Cut up my thumb - help me make up stories for work.

[Horsetuna]

Last year, almost to the day, I sliced the tip of my thumb off.

This year a month later ( last year was sept, I think), I did the EXACT same thing to the EXACT same thumb doing the EXACT same stupid action. I wont go into details.

But I cannot work tomorrow, but I know when I go in on thursday, I will get asked about the Batman bandaid on my thumb.

So... I need some nice funny stories to tell people at work. Preferably each one more wilder than the last. So far....


Hunting Shark Hunters off the coast of Australia.
Wrestling crocodiles in New Zealand.
Fighting Pirates in the Carribean.
Bartering with pygmy Cannibals in Africa.
Exploring trap-laden tombs of rare historical artifacts in Egypt.
Slaughtering evil orcs in Middle Earth.
Exterminating Tribbles on the Klingon Homeworld.
Scuba Diving with Pirhanas in the Amazon.
Defending the Canary Diamond from the evil Ninjas of Dr. Fuman Chu in Japan.
Wookie Wrestling.
Hand to Hand combat with Alien invaders from Andromeda.
Running Bootleg Canadian Mountain Dew.
It was my Patriotic Duty.
Rabid Scissors Attack.


Ideas?

[Jpurple]

Bitten by an Ewok?

Sorry, I'm not feeling very creative today

[stormtreader]

Its part of your annual mating ritual?
Turns out last year was an insect attack, and the eggs just hatched?
The Joker attacked you? (in honour of the Batman bandaid ;) )

[ArenaBoy]

You botched a job for a Yakuza boss? Yakuza is the Japanese mob and messing up means losing a finger.

[Fera Festiva]

You were breaking up a fight between a shark and a bear. You were lucky not to sustain worse injuries than you did.

The shark and the bear can also be substituted for other creatures: a tiger, a velociraptor, a giant ant like in old B-movies, a monkey with a dagger, etc.

:D

[Rapatwork]

You botched a job for a Yakuza boss? Yakuza is the Japanese mob and messing up means losing a finger.

Last I heard, you had to cut off a finger - or part of one - to join, showing your dedication.

Seems a bit daft to me, since you'd be hampered in doing undercover work.

Rapscallion

[ArenaBoy]

Last I heard, you had to cut off a finger - or part of one - to join, showing your dedication.

Rapscallion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakuza#Rituals Cutting off a finger is a form of saying "Hey, I messed up and now I need to depend on you guys for help more."

[Rapatwork]

Oooh! Interesting!

Rapscallion

[PuckishOne]

Aliens. You just can't go wrong with aliens. :D

[digilight]

Unfortunate attack by a Sabertooth Hamster.

You were trying to unclog the garbage disposal when your pet canary turned it on.

[Lackwit]

How about this:

You were at an antique shop, and you found this really cool antique box, and you bought it. You took it home, opened it up, and found a mummified fingertip. "Gross!" you exclaimed, and disposed of the offending body part immediately.

That night, you were snuggled up in bed, when an eerie voice enquired, "Where's the tip of my thumb?" from outside your door!

"Yipes!" You dove under the cover.

"Where's the tip of my thumb?" the voice demanded a few feet from the bed.

You crept under the mattress.

"Where's the tip of my thumb?" the voice called out from right beside you!

You slinked under the bed, waiting anxiously for the voice to go away, when you heard:

"Do YOU have it?!"

And that's why you're wearing the Batman bandaid today.

[AFpheonix]

Attempting to get a free Wendy's chili?

[Spiffy McMoron]

Attempting to get a free Wendy's chili?

:roll: :lol:

I think that's the best one so far, but I'll toss my hat into the ring...

-Tragic hacksaw mishap.
-Failed attempt to get on Iron Chef.
-Gave the "Thumbs-up" to Mike Tyson.
-Tried to make a safety video for work, and none of the stunt guys showed up.
-You STILL haven't figured out how to use the electric can opener!
-You know how 18th century scientists would experiement on themselves? It was kinda like that, except this is the 21st century.
-Really nasty papercut.

[AFpheonix]

Spiffy, the safety in the workplace vid would be a great one if she directed people to that one crazy german one :lol:
My god, that must have been made by some people that normally do really bad zombie movies.

[Drakstern]

Miniature giant space hamster attack! He went for the thumb!

Dance knife fight to determine standing in one of the gangs fighting over territory gone horribly wrong.

"I'm never using a wiffle knife ever again."

[Cia]

Golum wanted his precious back?

[Greenday]

You accidently got some acetylsalicylic acid(aspirin) on it.

Can't really think of anything that great that hasn't been said.

[Rapscallion]

You got really good at duelling banjoes, but there's always a price...

Rapscallion

[MystyGlyttyr]

Hulkamania ran a little too wild on you, brother.

Then again, there's the true story of how my older brother nearly lost the end of his finger. He was about to blend up some food, was watching the blades spin, and...wanted to see if he could stop the blender blades.

I wish I was making this up.