Amusing Christmas cards....

[Jester]

So I got a little something something from Mom in the mail yesterday, and it just cracked me up....and kind of shows how my Mom thinks sometimes.

The card itself was cute, but is not the point of this missive. What Mom wrote inside, though, is priceless. I quote:

"[Jester],

When I was at Barnes & Noble recently, I saw a DVD of the David Frost/Richard Nixon interview & I thought you might like a copy of it...then I thought...what if [Jester] doesn't have a DVD player? Then I thought...you'd probably go to see the movie, "Frost/Nixon." (Had a lot of thoughts that day!)

So, enjoy spending this gift certificate however you wish.

Have fun!

Love, Mom & [Stepdad]

Yeah, Mom's hilarious.

So, anyone else get any amusing cards/gifts from someone?



(And if you're wondering, a. I DO have a DVD player, and b. Mom was looking at a DVD of the original interviews themselves, not the movie currently in the theater. And I might just have to hunt that DVD down. What can I say? Mom knows my interests!)

[Amethyst Hunter]

It's probably just me, but I don't get it. What's funny? :confused:

(Yeah, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. :shrug: )

[Jester]

I just found it amusing that "I had this thought, then I had that thought, then I thought this....I had a lot of thoughts."

Hmmm.....maybe something got lost in the translation. I dunno. :shrug:

But still.....anyone else get amusing Christmas cards/gifts? :lol:

[Amethyst Hunter]

I just found it amusing that "I had this thought, then I had that thought, then I thought this....I had a lot of thoughts."

I get that. Except I call it ADD. :lol: (note: Not saying that your mom has ADD; I really do have it so I can point at myself and laugh)

One of the best Christmas cards I ever got was from my (now-deceased) grandma. It had a picture of a pissed-off looking cat wearing a Santa hat and beneath that the caption went, "Buster patiently listened to what the mice wanted for Christmas, and then he ate them." I still have that card to this day (got it who knows how many years ago). :D

[Becks]

I just found it amusing that "I had this thought, then I had that thought, then I thought this....I had a lot of thoughts."

Welcome to my world.

You should hear the tangents I have during a simple conversation.

Ask Bella if you have to. :lol:

[JoitheArtist]

Not Christmas, per se, but...

My dad likes to collect really random old postcards with slightly odd art on the front, and mail them to me with some sort of commentary on the artwork. You'd have to see them to get it, but it's like a little piece of MST3K in my mail... :lol:

[ThePhoneGoddess]

I'm the one who sends bizarre missives to my family. Mostly to my sister and my cousin kelly...cause they're the only ones who really appreciate them.

I sent my brother a card for his birthday that had a quaint drawing of a little man, wearing a hood, with a wooden leg, walking a dog on a leash, and out of the hood where his face should be was a penis sticking out. Inside it said "Happy Birthday, Dickhead!" my sister said he nearly peed his pants when he opened it up.

Last February sent my best friend a card...because we're 3000 miles apart now, and she and I always used to get drunk together on Valentine's Day if we were single. It had two old ladies on it from 19th century, with thought bubbles above them, and it one said "Let's be friends until we're old and gray." The other said "But we are old and gray."

Inside the first one then said "Well then, let's be friends until we lose our good looks!" And the second one said "You got it, sister!"

I loved that card. She thought it was pretty funny too, and sent me me something quite twisted in response, which I will not repeat here.

[AdminAssistant]

Not the intention of the thread, but I really want to see Frost/Nixon. And Doubt. Maybe Hollywood's figuring out how to not screw up play-to-film adaptations. (But I have some, um, doubts about Doubt. From the trailers it looks like Hoffman's going to play it too creepy.)

Oh, and my train of thought often goes like that..but until I can't remember what I was originally talking about. If that had been me, I would've wound up talking about the legality of Nixon's action and Henry Kissinger which would've got me talking about something else then something else and so on and so forth.

[Jester]

If that had been me, I would've wound up talking about the legality of Nixon's action and Henry Kissinger which would've got me talking about something else then something else and so on and so forth.

Oh, my mom might do that to, but that would be on the phone with me....after all, she DID only have a card to work with here!

Perhaps I ought to explain a bit. Mom is a very, VERY intelligent woman, and often blows me away with how much she knows about things, and how wise she is about life.

But then there is the other side. Sometimes she gets a bit...spacey. My sisters and I for years have referred to her as "Dizzy Izzy," a play on her first name.

I guess you'd have to know her. :shrug:

[It shouldn't]

Oh, and my train of thought often goes like that..but until I can't remember what I was originally talking about.
I do that..... a lot!

Not a card, but last year as a stocking stuffer I got a bumper sticker:

"Ever stop to think and forget to start again."

[Shards]

About two years ago, for my birthday, a friend of mine who is very... out there in his humor handed me a card with a gift attached. The card had a picture of a clothesline with some laundry hanging from it, blowing in the wind, and on the inside it said:

"Yeah, we didn't get it either." in the pre-written ink that comes on the card, and "Neither did I... Happy Birthday!" in his handwriting. Cracked me up, because of how very like him it was.

[AdminAssistant]

I do that..... a lot!

Not a card, but last year as a stocking stuffer I got a bumper sticker:

"Ever stop to think and forget to start again."

I like, "My mind wanders a lot, I'm afraid one day it won't come back!" I think that's from Garfield.

[Amethyst Hunter]

I saw a great sign once (that I wish I had): "My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone." :wave:

[RetailWorkhorse]

My Coworker M got me a card.

It has sheep on the cover, and one is say "baaaaa" and a second one says "...humbug."

On the inside it says "There's one in every crowd!"

I found it so funny I snorted spit.

Which resulted in me coughing my lungs up, but that was okay, too.

[Jack T. Chance]

This year I found some fun cards at Target, of all places! They're carrying cards from Carlton Cards, who does have their own stores, as well (although they're not as numerous as the Hallmark stores.)

My favorite one is the card I gave to one of my co-workers. It's an updating of the classic poem "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" with a decidedly retail-oriented spin on the poem...*Face of card*

'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the mall,
The last-minute shoppers
were behind the eight ball.

They pushed and they shoved,
as they ran through the aisles,
And cussing and shouting
replaced all of their smiles.

The cashiers were bitching
about getting a break,
And people in line yelled,
"How long will this take??"

The clock was now ticking
as the shelves emptied out,
The people were desperate
(And freaking, no doubt!)

They hurried and grabbed
whatever they could,
A hammer! A sweater!
(It didn't have to be good.)

As the chain-link doors closed
I could hear the faint moan,
Christmas shopping was over --
It was time to go home.

And I laughed as I thought this
And I had some more wine...

*Inside of card*

Because this year I shopped
the smart way -- online!

MERR-"E" CHRISTMAS:lol:

[smileyeagle1021]

First off, EQ should tell you about the card I sent her :p

Oh and my favorite Christmas card I saw:
on the front it said, "This is the time of year when you should remember those less fortunate than you"
and on the inside it said "because they might be busy burgeling your house right now"
:lol:

[BookstoreEscapee]

My brother gave me a card that has a cartoon of Santa on the roof, and he's yelling down into the chimney,

"I don't have any more bikes. How about a little sister instead?"

On the inside it says something about how well that worked out in the end.

[Jester]

This was not a card, but a coworker of mine at The Bar had some amusing cocktail napkins her daughter had sent her.

On them is a picture of Santa with a cocktail in his hand. The caption reads: "Every time you leave me a vodka and Red Bull, an angel gets his wings."

Laughed my ass off. And if it had read "rum" or "beer" or "margarita," it would have been so perfect for me! :cheers:

[edible_hat]

I recieved a home-made Christmas card that says:

"Due to the world financial crisis, I have had to cut back on Christmas. So... HAVE A MERRY!"

[AnaKhouri]

I have the best Christmas cards ever, which I send out sparingly. The front shows Cthulhu putting gifts under a tree, with H.P. Lovecraft peeking excitedly down the stairs. Inside it says, "Have a Merry Mythos!" ;)