Question for food servers...

[Dawnchaser]

Something that is really starting to bug me at restaurants is how often people assume I want diet pop. Sometimes they've already taken my order, and I ordered regular...sometimes someone else took the order and they assume I had diet pop. I HATE diet pop, unfortunately...can't stand to drink it.

Now admittedly, I am fat. There actually are health issues that contribute to this but mostly I like to eat and hate to exercise. I'm not gigantic - I am able to buy clothing in the average department store (plus size section), even though it's not always stuff I'm that jazzed about wearing.

We eat out a lot, and this seems to happen roughly once a month. Now I'm sure some of these folks are getting us mixed up with the table next to us, have their minds on other things, and so on. But it happens so much...am I being oversensitive? It's starting to feel like they are judging everything I put into my mouth.

Anyone out there who does this to customers a lot, who maybe has a reason? Or works with someone who does?

[smileyeagle1021]

I envy you... I have the exact opposite problem. I order diet because I like soda, but I can't stand HFCS... the stuff they use in diet is much more pleasant to the pallet... yet I keep getting regular. Perhaps you can share the secret to actually getting a diet drink :lol:

[Cassiepeia]

I'd say it's just a mistake. It's possible that on those particular occasions the servers have had to give out a lot of diet and very little regular and so they are on auto-pilot to some extent.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I envy you... I have the exact opposite problem. I order diet because I like soda, but I can't stand HFCS... the stuff they use in diet is much more pleasant to the pallet... yet I keep getting regular. Perhaps you can share the secret to actually getting a diet drink :lol:

Go out to eat together and trade drinks :D

[Crazeyal]

It's simple. Most heavy people drink diet. I always laugh when I watch people order the equivelant of two meals AND a diet coke. There's nothing rude about it, it's just numbers. People who are watching a slight potbelly, to the morbidly obese drink mostly diet drinks or water.

[prb]

It's simple. Most heavy people drink diet. I always laugh when I watch people order the equivelant of two meals AND a diet coke. There's nothing rude about it, it's just numbers. People who are watching a slight potbelly, to the morbidly obese drink mostly diet drinks or water.And people give me disgusted looks with "grilled chicken sandwich, no sauce and a side salad", I supply my own water as well :)

[Giggle Goose]

I think it's a gender issue. It's been a while since I've waited tables (and no, I don't miss it a bit :D), but I'd guess that it's because women are more likely to order diet than men.

Personally, I would be mortified to walk up to someone who was a bit heavier and ask them if they wanted diet. That's just plain rude! In spite of what I may have thought about people, I was a server and not a licensed medical professional.

And I'm with Eagle, I prefer diet because of the taste. Yes, even if I'm eating a fatty meal. I always feel like I have to brush my teeth after drinking regular because it's so sugary and syrupy.
Yuck.

[Megg]

I always ask if I am unsure. I never assume, just because of body type, which soda someone wants. Personally, I hate diet, but I can see why some might prefer it. Actually, no I can't, but I will take your word for it. :)

I can't help but roll my eyes when someone orders two tons of food and a diet drink at my place now, though. I work at Toxic Hell, and I promise, that diet drink is not going to help after you consumed 3 Grilled Stuft Burritos. I never even considered they may like the taste. Same goes for those 20 pound yuppie girls who order diet ... though I still have my doubts about some of those.

So, anyway, turns out I am more judgmental than I thought. Sorry. :o

[Kiwi]

Im not a small girl

I used to drink diet soda, not because I wanted to save calories but because I didnt like the taste of regular soda.

I dont drink soda at all now, because its terrible for you.
I dont think its fair to generalise and say that most heavy people drink diet soda unless you have some sort of study to back it up.

[Rapscallion]

I tend to buy large amounts of food along with diet drinks. This isn't really a matter of calorie control - I prefer the taste of diet drinks, and the normal versions leave me thirstier than before I had them due to the amount of sugar.

I just can't speak for everyone on the planet, so I can't say if anyone's making any presumptions or not.

Rapscallion

[Ree]

I don't drink pop at all...regular or diet...if I can possibly help it.
I drink water only.

I always thought it was because I just don't like the taste of pop and I find water quenches my thirst better and allows me to enjoy the taste of the food.

Now I realize I drink water because I'm fat.
Good to know. That hadn't occurred to me.

[persephone]

I'm not going to make any generalizations because I know that people are going to drink what they want to because they want to and that's their business, not mine.

However, when I was waiting tables, unless I was absolutely sure what someone had, I would ALWAYS ask. Even sometimes when I remembered what they had. I'd say something like "Would you like some more Coke?" so that if I was wrong, or they wanted water or something else, they could tell me. No one was ever offended.

Now, if someone grabs my glass without asking, I tend to ask "Can I have a little more Coke?" or ask for "a little more ice with the Coke" or something, to subtly make sure they know what I'm drinking. Maybe you could try that? My guess is the waiter/waitress isn't actively trying to be rude but is forgetting what you drank and making an assumption instead of just asking.

I'm sorry people are making you uncomfortable. No one, no matter what size, shape, color or anything they are, should be uncomfortable to go out in public. What you are is YOUR decision and nobody knows your situation. They shouldn't be judging you.

*hugs* I hope that suggestion helps. :o

[AdminAssistant]

To quote a friend of mine, "If I'm going to have a soda, I'm going to have a soda" I switch. If I'm on campus, I usually get Coke Zero (it's a 'Coke' campus and I hate regular Coke and Mr. Pibb). Otherwise, Dr. Pepper or Mt. Dew.

Yes, I'm err...welll...there's more to love, mmkay? I do drink water, a lot of water. But I really have to have caffeine some days, and sodas are the tastiest way to get that. The next time someone brings you a diet cola, hand it back and say, "I'm sorry, but I wanted regular Coke".

[One-Fang]

Since now 3 people (me too) have weighed in with the literal "I prefer the taste of diet" can we please STOP with the judging? Those that say "I laugh when they order a big meal and a diet coke" or "that diet coke isn't going to help when you've ordered this". It's offensive and only shows your own lack of imagination that - OMG - someone might actually prefer the drink and -shudder- NOT be "dieting".

You laugh in my face if I order my diet coke with my large pizza, you're not coming back from that.

[Talendor]

I drink diet soda whenever I can because that is what I drank growing up. Mom and Dad heavily discouraged us from drinking regular soda because of all the sugar and calories but they allowed diet soda because it's the only kind my dad can drink due to his ulcers (usually caffeine free diet, but he'll bend rules and sneak in a can of plain diet). My uncle can also only have caffeine free diet due to his medical restrictions.
The only time I have regular soda is in bar-ordered cocktails and I can definitely taste the difference. (If I make a cocktail at home, I use Diet Pepsi Max)

[persephone]

The only time I have regular soda is in bar-ordered cocktails and I can definitely taste the difference. (If I make a cocktail at home, I use Diet Pepsi Max)

OT but if you like the taste of diet drinks in bar cocktails, you could request it in them. Most bars have diet soda along with regular in their guns for making drinks. :p

[NightAngel]

First off- it has NOTHING to do with the person's size. I can tell you this most definately because it happens to me all the time and I am very skinny.

So, we can stop with that whole line now.

Thanks.


It's a mistake pure and simple and it happens to most people.
Usually, I just say, "Excuse me but I ordered regular." and the waitress says, "Oh, oops- sorry!" and gets me another one. Happens frequently. The worst is at drive thrus when I'm half way home before I take a sip... bleh! I'm not the type to drive all the way back either. LOL

Oh, wait- the worst is when I order regular Coke and I get a Dr. Pepper- gag!

[persephone]

Oh, wait- the worst is when I order regular Coke and I get a Dr. Pepper- gag!

Ugh! Now I like Dr. Pepper sometimes, but I have to be in the mood for it. But if I'm expecting Coke and get that? EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

[Crazeyal]

I dont think its fair to generalise and say that most heavy people drink diet soda unless you have some sort of study to back it up.
I haven't done a survey, but my best friend is a fast food manager and I've helped him out and/or heard his stories for the last 25 years. IMHE a large amount of heavy people drink diet drinks. It's popular with skinny young things as well. It's not generalization, it's observation.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I was at the mall last weekend and I ordered a Cherry Coke at Subway. I realized they gave me diet Coke instead. I didn't bother to go back, though (I really just wanted the caffeine). I've never been a huge diet soda fan, though Diet Coke has grown on me since I started getting it at work (I get soda for the caffeine most of the time, and I can't stand coffee). When I get a drink from a get-it-yourself soda fountain, I usually mix my sodas - about 3/4 diet Coke, the rest root beer (at work) or if it's an option, Dr. Pepper or Cherry Coke. I get the taste of the flavored soda with less sugar and calories. I do tend to find regular Pepsi too sweet. Though my local Wawa has a fancy soda fountain with about 16 sodas and 4 flavored syrups you can add. Diet Coke + Dr. Pepper + cherry syrup = yum. I don't keep much soda at home, though. Mostly I drink water; I keep a small bottle of regular Coke in my fridge and let it get flat, for when I have a migraine and/or when my stomach is bothering me.

Most of the time when I eat at a restaurant, I get unsweetened iced tea and sweeten it myself.

[McGoddess09]

I've gotten so used to diet Coke, that regular Coke can be too sweet sometimes, but regular Cherry coke is not too sweet for me at all. At work, if I didn't get to have my coffee, I drink a very tiny amount of regular Coke. After work, I go to the connected gas station and get a large cherry coke (a huge one for just a dollar!!) with no ice and that is it for the whole day.

I'm just weird like that.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Oh, wait- the worst is when I order regular Coke and I get a Dr. Pepper- gag!

Pass it over to my Mom . . . she loves her Dr. Pepper.:D

Personally, I prefer the diet drinks myself. I don't drink them as often as I used to, as I'm usually walking around with a bottle of water (with mostly crunchy ice) or coffee. But I simply can't stand the taste of the regular drinks now - they taste syrupy sweet and flat.

As far as I can recall, I've not had any issues with people thinking me strange for ordering diet. But then, why should it matter? :shrug:

[NightAngel]

Well, I apologize to those folks who like Dr. Pepper in advance...

I despise DP- I think it's one of the nastiest drinks ever concocted. I'd rather drink original flavor NyQuil and that's really saying something... :lol:

My hubby can always tell when I've accidently been given it by the wrenching facial expressions and gagging noises. No lie.

[AdminAssistant]

Ahh, I looove Dr. Pepper. Nectar of the Gods.

Absolute best thing in the world to mix with Jack Daniels, but I've yet to come across a bar that had it. They all have Coke, which I can tolerate. Pepsi is just plain gross.

[Jester]

Dawnchaser, I'd like to weigh in on this.

I dont think its fair to generalise and say that most heavy people drink diet soda unless you have some sort of study to back it up.

And it won't be a generalization, but my observations and experience from 22 years of food service, not to mention the 6+ years of training servers for a major national chain. In other words, I have a vague idea of what I'm talking about, thank you very much. :cool:

In my experience, more heavy people who drink soda order diet than other sodas. Before you jump on me, keep in mind that more adults in general who drink soda drink diet than others, whatever their build. I would say that heavier folks tend to order diet slightly more than the thinner ones overall, but as has been said, the "thin young thangs" order diet probably more than anyone.

If this only happens to you once a month, I would say it is genuine server error, and most of the times, probably has nothing to do with your weight. If you are out with a guy, and the server has a diet and a regular, if they can't remember who ordered what, they may assume that you, being female, ordered the diet, as women definitely order diet more than guys. This is not always the case, though, and it is not confined to soda that servers will make such assumptions. Oftentimes, if another staff brings a salad and a burger out to a table of two, they may assume that the woman has the salad. Being a lover of both good burgers and good salads, I have often had this happen to me as a customer, where they assume my female companion is the one who had the salad, when in fact it was me.

As a server I try not to assume. If I am bringing food or drink to someone else's table, I will ask who had what. "I have three cokes, two diets, and a sprite. What did y'all have, folks?" If it's my table, hopefully I will remember who had what, but if I don't, I will ask. And yes, I still sometimes make a mistake and get it backwards. But I usually recover. "No, HE had the diet." "I know. I was just TESTING you." With a big ole smile, of course. Me, I can get away with such things, though of course not all servers can, and not all servers are as conscious of all this as I am. And I'm not being overly egotistical when I say, as a server, I rock, so you are not always going to get the same level of service.

I would like to suggest something for your consideration. If the server merely screwed up due to the gender issue or simply forgetfulness, and it had nothing to do with your weight, is it at all possible that you are the one making that assumption? That they though you had diet because you are larger? Something to ponder.

Myself, I have a similar but odder problem. I don't drink caffeine, so if I'm not drinking beer (rare), I will usually order a Sprite. I can't tell you how many times someone has come along and refilled my low or empty glass....from a pitcher of WATER! Where's my limon goodness, damn it? But I don't get bent out of shape, I merely politely correct the server and (shortly) get my favorite soft drink back in front of me. Alternatively, because so many people drink light beer these days, I often will have servers/bartenders mistakenly assume I ordered one. "Another pitcher of Bud Light?" "It was Bud--light beer is a crime against nature." I correct them, make a joke out of it (though of course I honestly believe that) and everyone's happy.

Now, with all this said, if a server approaches you to take your initial drink order and says something like, "So, a Diet Coke for you?"--yeah, that is not only presumptive and rude, but bad service. But if they are merely forgetting who had what, or guessing....try to take it easy on them. You may not realize how many truly horrible butt nuggets we have to deal with on a daily basis.

Ahh, I looove Dr. Pepper. Nectar of the Gods.

Absolute best thing in the world to mix with Jack Daniels, but I've yet to come across a bar that had it.

You might try asking around your local restaurant/bars, especially the chains. I worked at one for years, and a lot of their individual locations did, in fact, carry Dr. Pepper. Hey, never hurts to ask, right?

[Dawnchaser]

Thanks all for the replies. Some interesting ones for sure.

One thing I didn't think of is that I really don't have any female friends. Just don't really get along with them, so yeah, I am always out with a guy or group of guys 99% of the time. And out of that group, I am usually the only one who is given the diet pop. Most of my friends are pretty unconcerned about their weight so they don't order diet.

And yeah, could definitely be at least partially my assumption. I'm not overly bothered about my weight (otherwise I'd actually do something about it) but I would prefer to weigh less. So far eating and WoW are priorities over exercise.

But I don't yell at em or subtract anything from the tip when this happens cause I DON'T know why they are doing it, and except for one case that stands out, they were good servers otherwise. It's frustrating but I've kept it to myself until I posted this.

I hear a lot of people saying they prefer diet...I WISH I did. Oddly, a long time ago when I was on phen-fen (which did help the weight a lot - but of course isn't prescribed anymore) I could hardly eat or drink anything that tasted of sugar or grease. It was water and diet pop exclusively, and very odd things to eat since I was living at home and my family never really believed in keeping fresh fruit and veggies around.

[Rapscallion]

Afraid we've had more than one isntance of people wanting to continue a debate after a moderator has said to drop that line, so in order to stop more problems we've had to close this one.

Rapscallion