Your STATES! KNOW YOUR STATES!!

[MystyGlyttyr]

Okay, I changed the name of the city I'm in to pretend like I'm hiding where I work. So assume I'm currently sitting in "Springfield", Texas.

I was on the phone with this lady, who was a bit confused as to what she wanted...one minute she wanted some court case number, the next some bizarre person's phone number, etc. I asked around and no one in the newsroom had a clue what she was talking about with the court case, so I told her that. Several times. Rudely, after about the fifth time of her asking me the exact same thing. (And I don't think it was Alzheimer's...she sounded to be in her thirties, maybe. Just...confused.)

Eventually, she asked me the question that earned her an entry here.

"Is Little Rock in 'Springfield'?"

...*my head a splode*

[PuckishOne]

Drugs. I'm thinking drugs.

At least I hope it's drugs.

[thegiraffe]

Well, Little Rock IS in Arkansas. We all know who [what] came out of Arkansas...

[MystyGlyttyr]

Well, Little Rock IS in Arkansas. We all know who [what] came out of Arkansas...
Hey, I came out of Arkansas, bub. :punch:

Heh heh, kidding. Trust me, if I had a choice, I'd be living...anywhere else.

[Brighid45]

You've gotta be kidding, Mysty. Americans know their states? I lived in Kansas City and Wichita for close to five years and people here in Pennsylvania still have no idea where the heck I was all that time. If it's farther away than Lancaster, it's the freakin' ends of the earth and there be monsters. That's probably true for most people when it comes to anyplace farther than maybe 20 miles from where they live.

"Oh, you lived in Wichita! Did you need a passport? Isn't that in Texas?" (Yes, someone actually said that to me. I'm not makin' this stuff up, folks.)

[Becks]

Don't feel TOO bad...people here in NJ think that Milwaukee is either in Michigan, Illinois and/or Minnesota. Losers.

When I tell them that Chicago was originally supposed to be part of Wisconsin, they look at me like.:confused: :eek: , and then I explain that the powers that be decided to move the Illinois border north, so they could also have a part of Lake Michigan.

[dragonflygrrl]

I am originally from a tiny little town in Missouri which has the same name as a somewhat large and well known city in Michigan. I went to college at the University of Florida, and for some reason, even though they had the right zip code, they would somehow end up sending all the "orientation" crap and everything to Hometown, MI instead of Hometown, MO, with the MI zipcode and everything. It's like they looked at my address and said, "that can't be right, I've never heard of Hometown, MO. Obviously this person who is smart enough to be admitted to our school has no idea what her address is. We'll just change that."

These were people that worked at an institution of higher learning. Surely it's too much to expect customers to know these things!:rolleyes:

[Brighid45]

Becky, I come from a small town in Michigan near the Ohio border. We had to learn in history class about the Bean Creek War--the epic fight over the small strip of land ceded to Ohio (which includes Toledo), for which Michigan was given the Upper Peninsula as compensation. Both sides waged furious battle all day long, then went home to eat supper. :roll:

Anyway--yes, most East Coast people's knowledge of American geography reminds me of that famous New Yorker cartoon, where Manhattan and New Jersey take up the whole East Coast, there's some undefined land to the west, and then voila! California! :rolleyes: Everything inbetween is just sort of . . . there. Somewhere.

[Dreamstalker]

When i was living in New Mexico, I'd occasionally get "We only ship to the continental United States" when ordering something :confused: (er, I gave you a US zip code and I can name three states that border us). Some people's brains stop listening at "Mexico"...yes, we share a border, but we're one of the 50 states!

[Cia]

You mean you don't need a passport to enter New Mexico? :) Do you have people asking you where 'old' Mexico is?

According to some geographically unsure people, South Dakota is somewhere in the Deep South. It floats between South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama.

[Jester]

Yep, we get that stuff down here in Key West, FLORIDA, all the time!

Some prime examples of brilliant Americans while visiting Key West, FLORIDA:

"Do you take American money?"

"Do I need my passport while I am here?"

"Do you speak English here?"

"Where can I change my money?"

And these are just the stupid geographically-related questions. You should hear some of the other stupid tourist questions we get. Unfreakinbelievable!

:headscratch:

[protege]

According to some geographically unsure people, South Dakota is somewhere in the Deep South. It floats between South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama.

I bet these same people also think that West Virginia is out by California somewhere :rolleyes:

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Guy came into Kinko's once needing some films to print screened t-shirts. Slogan was "Proud to be African" or some such thing.

He had it over a map of the Middle East. :rolleyes:

[Cia]

Reco, did you let him know of his mistake or did you giggle like a fiend and keep a copy for yourself?

[Dreamstalker]

I would have run the order, then sat back and watched the fun...but then he probably would have accused you of changing it :rolleyes:

[Primer]

"Oh, you lived in Wichita! Did you need a passport? Isn't that in Texas?"

We do have a Wichita FALLS in north Texas somewhere. BrassCowboy could probably tell you better where it is than I could, since I'm over 200 miles away from it (but still only halfway to the other side of the state).

[Gurndigarn]

Well, Little Rock IS in Arkansas. We all know who [what] came out of Arkansas...

Yeah, but it's not fair to blame the entire state for Sam Walton.

[Bella_Vixen]

:spew:

I never saw that coming!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Cia, I believe idiots should be allowed to be idiots. That way, the rest of us can see them coming. No way I'm getting into it with a customer over his real or imagined heritage.:angel:

[Mighty Girl]

:headscratch:

Hmm. Back in school, I distinctly remember that you could pick either history or geography to take- and people thought I was a masochist because I chose both. Excuse me for not wanting to be ignorant.

[Misanthropical]

You should hear the stupidity I get when people find out that I'm fron South Dakota. :rolleyes:

I get asked why I don't have a Southern accent.

I get asked if we traveled in covered wagons.

I get asked if we still fight the Indians.

I get asked what it is like coming from a backwards state to such a progressive state. Yeah, PA is soooo progressive! NOT!

I get asked if South Dakota is in the United States.

I usually have to walk away from people because I can't stand the utter stupidity and refuse to answer stupid questions.

[Jester]

You should hear the stupidity I get when people find out that I'm fron South Dakota. :rolleyes:

I get asked why I don't have a Southern accent.

I get asked if we traveled in covered wagons.

I get asked what it is like coming from a backwards state to such a progressive state. Yeah, PA is soooo progressive! NOT!

Being from Arizona, I get similar things to the first two.

"Why don't you have an accent?" Oh, y'all think I'ma gonna talk like this? "Yeah?" That's Texas. In Arizona, we KNOW how to f***in' speak!

"Did you grow up with tumbleweeds blowing by your door?" No. While there ARE tumbleweeds in Arizona OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, Phoenix is a major metropolitan area, and actually, at the moment, Phoenix is the sixth largest city in the nation, and quickly closing on Philadelphia for number five. Nitwits.

As for PA, my friend from there described it like this (and I have heard fellow Pennsylvanians describe it similarly): "In the east is Philadelphia, in the west is Pittsburgh, and in between is Alabama!"

:wave:

[protege]

As for PA, my friend from there described it like this (and I have heard fellow Pennsylvanians describe it similarly): "In the east is Philadelphia, in the west is Pittsburgh, and in between is Alabama!"

:wave:

I'm from Pittsburgh...and this is *very* true. Of course some of us also think that Alabama exists between Pittsburgh and Erie too :D

[norrina]

A number of years back, I had just started a new job at a child care center in western North Carolina. I was chatting with one of my new coworkers, and it came about in conversation that I had been raised in Maine.

CW: coworker
Me: yup, ME

CW: Do they speak English in Maine?
Me: *try to come up with witty reparte; suddenly realize she is dead serious* Uhm, yes. Yes, we do. It is our primary language, in fact.
CW: Oh. Well, I wasn't sure, with your accent.
Me: :eek: [For the record, I do have a northern accent, but it is not unreasonably strong. I have a good grasp of the English language, and in fact, were I to have my college career to do over, I would most likely graduate as an English major.]

[Cia]

[QUOTE=Misanthropical]

I get asked if we traveled in covered wagons.
Only between Sioux Falls and Rapid otherwise we get to drive Model T's.

I get asked if we still fight the Indians.
We haven't found an arrow in an airplane in 6 months so my guess is no.

I get asked what it is like coming from a backwards state to such a progressive state. Yeah, PA is soooo progressive! NOT!
Well our sign says "Welcome to SD and set your watch back 20 years." PA's says to set it back 40 years. So who's more progressive?

I get asked if South Dakota is in the United States.
No we are a southern Canadian province just like Minnesota.:lol: :lol:

[MamaMootz]

And....

I'm from NJ and in the process of relocating to CO.

* No, our state is not one big oil refinery.
* No, we don't all live like the Sopranos.
* No, we don't say "youse guys"
* No, our men are not dripping in big gold chains with medallions.
* No, our women don't have big hair.

And finally... if I hear one more person say, "Oh! You're from JOISEY" I swear I'm going to puke. We don't talk like that. Nobody I know says Joisey.

Didn't anybody have those maps when they were kids? The puzzle maps of the U.S. that you had to take apart and put back together and on each state was the capital of that state? That's how I learned my geography of the U.S. and it has stuck with me. Maybe we should buy one of these puzzles for the clueless?

[Bella_Vixen]

And finally... if I hear one more person say, "Oh! You're from JOISEY" I swear I'm going to puke. We don't talk like that. Nobody I know says Joisey.


Becks' future in-laws pronounce it that way. Dad even manages it with a Brooklyn accent.

[Becks]

A LOUD Brooklyn accent, even.

[Mixed Bag]

Jester, I'd love to hear what else the Key West tourists say. (That reminds me of an essay that appeared in a recovery publication where the author said in passing she begrudgingly moved further south because the rest of her family wanted to even though she liked cold weather. It was signed with her partial name and Key West.)

One of my favourite posts on the old board was the call center person who told the caller, when asked, that s/he was in Canada and was asked questions like did they commute by dogsled or some such outlandish stereotypes.

I called 311 in LA city to report a dangerous vehicle in motion. When I said I'd seen it near Wilshire and Sepulveda minutes earlier, more than one operator who was so quick to point out that that was in unincorporated territory (as if they didn't even have to type that major familiar intersection in, perhaps) was mysteriously slow to understand that a half mile in any direction from there was LA city (it's where the big VA hospital and cemetery are, along with all the locally famous federal building protests away from downtown). Maybe if the cellphone had directed me from that parcel to the attorney general instead...?

After working on accounting all night I drove to the home of someone from a company we were working with to drop off the paperwork--he'd told me what city he was in and to drive along a certain main street until I saw blah blah etc. After driving all up and down the main street between the eastern and western city limits I stopped at a phone to say I was lost. He said his street was actually in the less well-known neighboring city but he didn't use that name when giving instructions because no one ever heard of it. :wtf:

[Geminii]

That's freaky. I'm not even American and though I might not be able to rattle off the entire list of states in ten seconds, I can sure recognise the name of an American state when I hear it.

(Not too great on the postal abbreviations, though. But if I forget whether MI is Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi or Missouri, that's what the internet's for.)

(It's Michigan.)

[Barefootgirl]

"Why don't you have an accent?" Oh, y'all think I'ma gonna talk like this? "Yeah?" That's Texas. In Arizona, we KNOW how to f***in' speak!


But everyone in America has an accent ! Its only me who doesn't have an accent :D

Jester, do you live in Key West? I love Key West! Some friends and i drove down there in a convertible from Miami last year, and it was just the most fab place. I think it is my favourite place in the whole US, not least because you can buy a margarita on the street and wander around drinking it. I liked the other Keys as well, wish I'd had a bit more time to potter around there and look at things.

[Jester]

Jester, do you live in Key West? I love Key West! Some friends and i drove down there in a convertible from Miami last year, and it was just the most fab place. I think it is my favourite place in the whole US, not least because you can buy a margarita on the street and wander around drinking it. I liked the other Keys as well, wish I'd had a bit more time to potter around there and look at things.

Why yes, yes I do. And chances are good that if you saw a magician doing closeup magic for you, it was me or one of my associates. :wave:

Jester, I'd love to hear what else the Key West tourists say.

Okay, you asked for it....

And by the way, for those unfamiliar with the word, there is a difference between TOURISTS and TOURONS. A touron is a combination of tourist and moron. Basically an SC on vacation! With that in mind.....

STUPID TOURON QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN ASKED IN KEY WEST (my friend is constantly saying he is going to compile the ultimate list):

"Does the water go all the way around the island?"

"How many times a day do you have the Sunset Celebration?"

"How long is the Seven Mile Bridge?"

[while standing on Duval Street]: "Where's Duval Street?"

"Does the sun always set on the same side of the island?

"What kind of fish live under the island?"

"Is there a gift shop at the reef?"

"Can we drive our scooters out to the reef?"

"Where's the bridge to Cuba?"

"How far apart are the mile markers?"

[while looking at a sign that says in big bold letters "Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville"]: "Does Jimmy Buffett actually own Margaritaville?

"What do you do with all the boats in the winter?"

"The streets here are really narrow. How do the snowplows get down them?" [coldest recorded temperature in Key West's history: 41F]

"The waters around here, are they pretty well stocked with fish, or are they about fished out?" [The waters around here are the Gulf of Mexico and the Atlantic Ocean, two of the largest bodies of water in the world.]

[the following is a fair question when you see me out and about, but ridiculously stupid when asked, as it usually is, when I am at working.]
"So, do you live here?" [No, I commute from Phoenix every day.]

"When all those people are here for those big events, and they are all on Duval Street, does that ever cause the island to tip? [I am not making these up, folks.]

"I didn't realize the Seven Mile Bridge was seven miles LONG. I thought it was seven miles HIGH!"

"Do people actually live here?"

"Can we use American money here?"

"Where's the water?"
[It's a 2 by 4 mile island. Walk in any direction. You'll find it.]

[There is a small island a few hundred yards off of Key West, called Sunset Key, plainly visible from the famous Mallory Square. The following question has been asked of many employees in the area.]

"Is that Cuba?"

[My friend Courtney had the best answer to that one: "Yes, it's much further than it appears." Keep in mind, there are signs literally all over the island that say "Cuba 90 miles." Let THAT one sink it to your brain stem.]

[while on the "Glass Bottom Boat"}
"Where's the glass bottom?"

"Can we swim under the island?"


The above list compiled in loving memory of General Geoff Chapman, general of the Conch Republic Army. I am sure he had more I haven't even heard of, the rascal. And yes, these are all questions people have asked me or friends of mine. Most of them asked by several people on different occasions. Sad, but true. Though I am not sure any will ever top the immortal "How do we get upstairs?" as the guy was LOOKING AT THE STAIRS! If I remember more, though, I will post them in this thread.

[Becks]

Reading Jester's last post brings to mind an email I'd seen once about supposed actual phone calls to an Australian tourism center and the replies received...

I wish I still had it, I'd repost it...

[Barefootgirl]

Why yes, yes I do. And chances are good that if you saw a magician doing closeup magic for you, it was me or one of my associates. :wave:



*Waves back !! * I did see a guy doing some magic and watched him for a while...I wonder if it was you?

[while looking at a sign that says in big bold letters "Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville"]: "Does Jimmy Buffett actually own Margaritaville?

Um, I think that might have been me :o I didn't really know who Jimmy Buffett was before i went there, but had vaguely heard the name.


"Can we swim under the island?"


Of course you can ! Here's your flippers, off you go. Air tank? No, you won't need an air tank...

[Jester]

*Waves back !! * I did see a guy doing some magic and watched him for a while...I wonder if it was you?

If it was a really tall guy in a black hat....it was my friend Frank!

If it was a bald guy who did levitations...it was my friend Tweedy!

If, however, it was a not all that tall dude with curly hair and a goatee doing closup magic....that would've been me! :cool:

[Dragon_Dreamer]

I live in a town near the Delaware River and Canal.

Once, a tourist pointed to the Canal and asked, very seriously, "That's the Delaware River?"

I proceeded to motion him to come down the street, then pointed out the MUCH larger body of water beyond the Canal, with New Jersey clearly visible beyond.

"But isn't that the Atlantic Ocean? You must not be from around here. I'll go find a REAL local." Again, completely serious.

[Crow The Robot]

I'm from Jersey, the Southern part, and people, are facinated by the fact that there are farms, country houses, and open space. When I worked on a NJ Turnpike rest stop, I would get the following questions. "What stae are we in?" , We had a huge sign that said "welcome to NJ" and had a "you are here" style map with a pin at the current location. One person, refused to believe that we were in NJ, he kept arguing. "No, this aint Jersey. Just ell me where we really are."
Despite the best efforts of myself, a co-worker and a manager, he refused to believe he was in NJ, so he departed saying, "Man, i kew you Virginia people couldn't be trusted.":confused: Amd drove off, yes he drove a car, God help us all. While I was cashiering there was a chick paid w/an out of state drivers license, now the policy is that we ask for ID for an out-of-state check. She was from Mississippi.
Her: Thats bullsh-t, My cousin works for a wal-mart, in Delaware, and she says that they do not ask for ID with OOS checks!!!
ME: Ma'am, i don't know what Delaware's laws are....
her: We'll we're in Delaware!
Me:Ma'am this is NJ.
her: F-ck it is that's the Delaware river out there, yes?
Me: Um, yes it is, but....
Her: No, buts, if this is NJ why isn't it the NJ river?? Hah!!!! We are in Delaware. And you are trying to steal my identity.
(I call a CSM)
CSM: Yes ma'am?
HER: Your boy, asked me for ID and said we were in NJ. We are in Delaware
CSM: :confused: No, ma'am this is NJ.
HER: I wanna manager!!!
M: Ma'am?
HER: They are trying to steal my identity, this ain't NJ!!!!!
M: :confused: Ma'am we ARE in NJ.
Her: F-ck it I'll pay with cash. You New Jerseyans can't be trusted with checks anyway.
Me::headdesk:

Damn. i mean, damn. People are just stupid. I wonder what she thought the people in Tennessee, Louisiana, Iowa, Minnesota, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, and Arkansas called the Misssissippi?

[MystyGlyttyr]

Damn. i mean, damn. People are just stupid. I wonder what she thought the people in Tennessee, Louisiana, Iowa, Minnesota, Kentucky, Illinois, Missouri, and Arkansas called the Misssissippi?

Obviously, we call it "the big-@$$ river". :lol:

That's like the fun I had explaining to a friend how it was, in fact, possible for a town in Texas to have "Arkansas Street" and "Louisiana Street". I don't know why she was so concerned about it, but she got a little freaked out at the signs. "They can't do that, can they?!"

That's when I take her to "Slimer Street". :D

[protege]

Obviously, we call it "the big-@$$ river". :lol:

That's like the fun I had explaining to a friend how it was, in fact, possible for a town in Texas to have "Arkansas Street" and "Louisiana Street". I don't know why she was so concerned about it, but she got a little freaked out at the signs. "They can't do that, can they?!"

She'd just *love* Cape May, NJ. Not only do they have a Pittsburgh Street, but quite a few with state names: Texas St, Ohio, St. etc.

[friendofjimmyk]

There is a "Springfield" in nearly every state.

[air914]

I am originally from a tiny little town in Missouri which has the same name as a somewhat large and well known city in Michigan. I went to college at the University of Florida, and for some reason, even though they had the right zip code, they would somehow end up sending all the "orientation" crap and everything to Hometown, MI instead of Hometown, MO, with the MI zipcode and everything. It's like they looked at my address and said, "that can't be right, I've never heard of Hometown, MO. Obviously this person who is smart enough to be admitted to our school has no idea what her address is. We'll just change that."

These were people that worked at an institution of higher learning. Surely it's too much to expect customers to know these things!:rolleyes:


It's a little off topic, but I had to respond to this - when I went to college in Pittsburgh, at the bursar's office or whatever it is called - they said wow there's another person w/ your same first & last name here. I looked at them like :confused: I asked them what the middle initial was. When they told me it was the same as mine I was like "there's got to be a mistake" (I don't have one of those middle names that start w/ an A or an M or something more normal - it's an odd little letter in the alphabet :) ) anyway, I asked what the first digits of the person's social security was - and they started reading me my phone number. Some idiot had entered in my phone number as the social security number and had two seperate profiles created for me. A phone number has more numbers than a soc. - how did they not notice that?? Or the fact that teh middle of your social usually has 2 numbers - not three like a phone does - someone just wans't paying attention - but it then took them TWO semesters at least to get rid of this extra profile............... which I think is ridiculous - that person doesn't exist... why is it soooo hard to delete the profile? It's not like you need to keep that info. b/c they may come back or b/c they decided not to come, but may come in the future - they don't exist! Not on this planet! Get rid of the profile & stop confusing everyone! (It was always a problem if I came in for something or called for something b/c they would pull up the incorrect profile and we'd go through this whole thing again)

[air914]

Back on topic..... Now if you're from KY, you always get those wonderful hick questions - yep I'm sure there are some here, but I live in a major city in KY - where we DO wear our shoes, we DON'T marry our cousins, we DON'T have to have major accents, and we DON'T use outhouses...... it's not all the Dukes of Hazard in every city in KY either........ and we don't swim in "Cement ponds" - we have swimming pools...... although the best compliment I can get sometimes is "you don't have an accent" - I always tell people I tried hard not to ever get one ( I did grow up here but my parents are from Illinois) and it makes me feel good that although I have a few words that tell you right away I'm from somewhere in the South - most of the time, you couldn't tell where I'm from :) Makes me mysterious..... LOL

[Dips]

I'm from Jersey, the Southern part, and people, are facinated by the fact that there are farms, country houses, and open space.

Hee. I know New Jersey grows some great vegetables. We get that same sort of reaction about Massachusetts too. It's like folks who aren't from the Northeast think the whole region is nothing but a huge urban center, parts of which turn into quaint villages only in fall foliage season.

I blame our tourism board and their misleading advertising. :p

It's OK. It means more game, fish, farm fresh produce and open space for us locals to enjoy, at least until next leaf-peeping season.