I want to feel pretty, dammit!

[ArcticChicken]

So, bit o' background: My parents were pretty big on gender equality, but, while they did make me realize I could do "boy" stuff if I wanted, they somehow didn't get across that I could do both "boy" stuff and "girl" stuff. Somehow, I thought I had to choose. So, I picked boy stuff. The result was that I actively rebelled against girl stuff, seriously, you could not have paid me to wear a dress.

My subconscious rebellion lasted all throughout my teen years.

In the past few years I've realized I can wear dresses and makeup and pretty shoes, and not compromise who I am, but I spent my prime years for learning how to do that stuff, actively not learning how to do it. I can manage to wear a dress without ripping it, or tripping over things, and I can manage to put on day makeup, but I can't wear heels to save my life.

I'll get to the point, I'm going to Dracball on Saturday, and I need advice. Specifically, tips on how to put my hair up and have it stay there, and how make sure my makeup will last. Also, any other common sense things most women know about getting dressed up. I've never really had time to experiment in these things.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Heh, I know what you mean. I've just never been into that stuff until recently.

Actually, one of my friends wants to write a book on this very subject (the Non-Girly-girl's Guide to Being a Girly-Girl or something).

The most help I can offer is as follows: for heels, I always go with something that won't slip off. Strappies with a loop around the ankle or pumps with a strap around the ankle. And if you're new on heels, stay low. 1-1/2 to 2 inch heels, and go for Block heels instead of the stilettos. I find they offer more support and balance.

I wish I could help you on the hair, but mine is hopeless. I still wear it in a ponytail everyday, even at work.

[ArcticChicken]

Oh, man, I would buy that book in a heartbeat.

[XCashier]

Walking in heels: shift more of your weight to the ball of your foot, to avoid the loud clacking sound of too much weight on the heels. And I agree with the low heels; they're better for your feet anyway.

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Walking in heels: shift more of your weight to the ball of your foot, to avoid the loud clacking sound of too much weight on the heels. And I agree with the low heels; they're better for your feet anyway.

Is that how it works? :confused:

Oh, man, I would buy that book in a heartbeat.

I'll let her know. ^^ I've been hoping she's still working on it.

[monolayth]

if you have a tendacy to sweat a lot with your feet deoderant on the bottoms will help.

have back up hose.

if wearing stockings alway remember the panties go on after the belt is attached to the stockings. much easier to go use the facilities.

pratice walking in your heels before hand, break them in.

when praticing walking inheels try to walk with one foor in front of the other, it creates a beautiful hip sway.

[alogram]

I can't tell you how to walk in heels, I am 5'11, so I haven't had much practice, although I do wear them sometimes.

The best advice I can give as far as makeup goes, at least for eyeshadow, etc, is use a primer. If you have a Sephora near you, Urban Decay and Too Faced both have one. If not, try L'Oreal Decrease. The stuff at Sephora is about $17, but worth it because it lasts a long time, and my makeup stays on pretty much all day until i take it off. Without it, I am lucky if it lasts a few hours.

Youtube is really useful too.

Hair I am not much help with. Not so good at the updos.

[Melicious Motormouth]

If you don't like high heels, try kitten heels!

[Shpepper]

For the makeup, go to a department store with a makeup counter and ask them. They usually do a good job. you don't have to buy things but there might be one thing that you like. I personally don't wear makeup. I sweat it off too fast and it tends to run all over my tshirts anyhow. the other things is if you ahve a p[lace that sells just makeup, you can go there and ask as well. As for the shoes, I used to wear heels many many moons ago. The best thing you can do is to wear them at home ALOT so you get used to them. Have a grand time at the ball.

[Thuringwethyl]

Another tip for heels: practice walking around at home for an hour or so for a couple days to get used to the feeling. When I had to learn to wear high heels my mom made me do this; you also get the chance to find rough or uncomfortable spots on the shoes and actually do something about it.

[One-Fang]

Can you get over there those gel pads that you can put in the shoes to help with the soreness on the balls of your feet? They are lovely. :)

I would also buy that book in a heartbeat. I need some girlie girl friends to teach me this stuff. I have little to no interest in it, but maybe once a year, if that, I would like to do the Cinderella thing.

[KiaKat]

1. My favourite heels are a pair of Mary Janes from Dansko (check out the Shoes thread, you'll see a pic there). They're comfortable, not too high, and have great stability.

2. AVOID KITTEN HEELS. They will make you trip if you're not used to heels at all. The balance is wrong, the heels themselves are miniscule, and you will catch them in every crack and grate along the way.

3. If you have a Sephora near you, go there about a week before the event and talk to them. Arrange for a consultation where you tell them what the event is, and that you want something simple. Stress the concept of simple, because otherwise you'll come out looking like you have three pounds of makeup on.

If you don't have the time (or the inclination) to get a consultation, here are a few tips:

Avoid foundation. Unless your skin is incredibly uneven in tone or texture, it won't do anything. I use a simple coverup and bronzing powder. The powder makes sure that my skin stays somewhat dry, and the coverup evens things out a bit.

Use a pencil eyeliner a few shades darker than your normal day one. Unless you're going for a dramatic look, pencil is always better than liquid, because you can smudge away any mistakes. Better yet is a shade of eyeshadow in the colour you want, with an eyeliner brush (usually very thin, and angled). Then you can almost just tap it into place without worrying that you're going to poke your eye out.

The colour of eyeshadow depends on what eye colour you have. The only one I remember right now is that if you have blue eyes, go for a bronze eyeshadow. I'm sure there's a resource online for that, though. Alternately, you can match your shadow to your dress - go a couple shades lighter, though.

My fallback is always either a shimmery black with colour highlights (it's a special blend that was given me by a friend) or a pearlescent grey/silver. But my eyes are so light as to be almost white, and I'm incredibly pale, so those work well for me.

If you really want your eyes to stand out, dab a small dot of very light blue or silver eyeshadow right in the middle of your eyelid, not so much that it screams *HI*, but just enough that it draws attention to your irises. You'd be amazed how this works, especially if you're using a darker, shimmery shadow.

Which brings me to my last point - Don't worry about getting dramatic with fancy eyeliner or multiple shadow colours. Go simple, hell, you could almost just darken your daytime eyeliner and choose a darker, redder lipstick and pull it off. The key is to enhance the features you already have.

[ArcticChicken]

Have a grand time at the ball.

Yeah, it's gonna be fantastic, Unheilig is making their first american stop, and it's the only stop on this tour.

Thanks, guys, this has been really helpful.

[blas]

Oooo oooo girly stuff! Right up my alley!

First of all, I wouldn't feel too pressured to cake the makeup on and do the whole Miss Congeniality makeover. Wear what you are comfortable wearing, after all, most people prefer makeup to look natural and sophisticated :)

I would go to a makeup counter at a department store and have an associate help you pick shades that compliment and match your skin. It's up to you if you want to spend the big bucks or just take that information and go to Wal-Mart and get the Cover Girl stuff instead.

Wash your face very thoroughly before applying your makeup. Makeup sticks to clean skin best.

The biggest thing about makeup is that you only want to pick one feature to stand out. Eyes, lips, or cheeks. But don't make them all stand out at the same time, or it will be too overpowering. You can do smokey eyes and a neutral/nude lip shade, or earth toned eyeshadows and bright bold lips. Pick your best feature on your face out of those three and have fun with it!

When applying mascara, this is going to sound crazy, but if you feel you can't control the wand or keep your eyes open, just open your mouth and stick your tongue out a bit and hold it that way. Somehow, this will help control your eyes from wanting to blink and screw up your mascara.

It never hurts to dust loose powder on your eyelids and lips to help set your color better and make it last longer.

As far as the shoes go, it's all in what you are comfortable with. If you do choose heels.....practice practice practice before the big night. I wouldn't go from never wearing heels to wearing big stillettos....but there are plenty of heels in all differen sizes and thickness. It's all about balance.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Walking in heels: shift more of your weight to the ball of your foot

A Tranny's take on heels (You knew it would come at some point):

I HATE them. But I learned to walk in them. Here's what ya do.

Take a quick look at how you walk in sneakers/flipflops/combat boots. Your foot lands heel-toe. As in the heel hits the floor before the rest of your foot. You can't do that in heels and not fall flat on your ass.

When you walk in heels, do it toe-heel. The toe of your heels needs to hit the floor first, like you're walking tip-toed through the mess of toys on your bedroom floor.

Practice. A LOT. And pick up some Dr. Scholl's ball o' foot inserts, it will save your footsies.

I don't do make-up past lip gloss and a touch of eye shadow, so I'm no help there.

[Bardmaiden]

If you don't like high heels, try kitten heels!

2. AVOID KITTEN HEELS. They will make you trip if you're not used to heels at all. The balance is wrong, the heels themselves are miniscule, and you will catch them in every crack and grate along the way.

I can run in 4" stilettos and can't walk in Kitten heels. Oh and the one foot in front of the other thing is really good ;) I was complemented on my sway and asked to demonstrate for someone who wasn't very good at girly stuff :D

[BethB]

I was never a big girly girl until recently but before then my sister used me as a blank canvas for make-up. If possible, find a friend or relative, one you trust, to use you as their blank canvas. you will pick up a new trick or ten.

[Bella_Vixen]

When I wear heels (not too often), I walk heel-toe.

Need a visual aid? Look up The Simpsons episode where Lisa gets entered into the Little Miss Springfield pagent, and Bart is showing her all the tricks.

:lol:

[XCashier]

Is that how it works? :confused:
That's what they taught me at Barbizon. Granted, that was over twenty years ago and I never went anywhere with it, but still...

[AdminAssistant]

When I learned to walk properly in heels (for a show), I found that having the right attitude helped A LOT. Keep your head up and walk with confidence. And I second the various motions to go to a makeup counter. You can learn a lot about what your skin needs. I've even had my makeup done at the Clinique counter for proms and stuff...usually just needed to buy something (like whatever lipstick or mascara they use).

[Seshat]

This probably isn't going to help in the short term, but will definitely help you plan.


How to apply makeup (http://livesoftheirown.blogspot.com/2008/03/on-applying-makeup.html)

Hair:
I have obedient hair - usually I can make my hair stay in place with hairsticks, bobby pins and hairpins. If you're going for that, get good pins! If you have long hair, a chignon is surprisingly easy to do and looks *fantastic*. Most people these days reserve updos for fancy occasions, so you look doubly great in a simple classic updo.

Long and medium hair
Long hair hairstyles (http://www.longlocks.com/hairstyles.htm). Many of these say to use hairsticks to hold them in place, but you can use hairpins or bobby pins in place of the hairsticks.
A great braiding site (http://www.dreamweaverbraiding.com/).

Short hair
I don't really do short hair much, but you can play with brushing it different ways, and holding it in place with decorative combs and slides, or bobby pins. Or gels or mousses or whatever.

Testing your style
Practice the styles you want to wear, ahead of time. Use some of them as everyday styles! When you have the style up, shake your head. Get some headbanging action in there, really try to make the style mess up just with you shaking and whipping your head around.
If it does get loose, add more pins, or use some of the wide range of styling gels, mousses or sprays.
(This doesn't work for some styles, but it does for the types of things I do - mostly chignons, braids, updos, or styles which are pretty much 'the hair is down but held off my face with pins'.)


Shoes: start with fantastic flats. Seriously - start being girly in flats or low heels that aren't more than half an inch taller than the masculine-style shoes you are probably used to.

Clothing (Colours):
Go to a hardware store and get one of those little booklets of paint colours.

Get a friend whose opinion you really trust. Go to somewhere that has a lot of large amounts of fabric in multiple colours - perhaps a store that sells sheets and towels, perhaps a fabric store. Have clean hands - it's only polite!

Hold up the colours against your face. Have your friend keep track of what colours make you look good, what colours make you look sallow, what colours make you look sick. Match the fabric colours with the paint colours in the booklet and record them.

Now you know which colours to buy for stuff that's near your face, and which colours to never wear near your face.

Use the paint colour booklet to figure out sets of colours to wear. A good way to set up a wardrobe is to select a neutral (or set of neutrals), and buy classic pieces in the neutral tones, then buy show-offy pieces in 'your' colours that look good on you. Make sure 'your' neutral works with your colours, and ideally that it's among the colours that suits you.

(Note that some people that can't wear black, can wear charcoal grey and look fantastic.)


Clothing (Shapes):
Get a friend to photograph you straight-on, and then in profile. Whole body photograph, wearing underwear but not outer clothes. In the straight-on photo, hold your arms out from your sides a bit.
Trace that photograph, with just the outer lines of your shape. You're aiming for something a bit like these croquis (http://www.threadsmagazine.com/item/3719/meet-the-threads-croquis-family-your-tool-for-fashion-sketching), but in your unique shape.

Use your scanner or photocopier and make lots and lots of them. Then sketch all over them!

Make a page of just necklines. V-necks, scoop necks, keyholes, turtlenecks, bared shoulders, sweetheart necklines, square necklines, chinese collars, revere collars - every type of neckline you've ever seen.
Make a page where you figure out sleeve lengths. Bodice lengths. Pants lengths. Skirt types. Sleeve types. Pant cuts.

Once again, figure out which suit you and which don't. Buy (or learn to make!) clothing with elements which suit you. Ignore clothes that don't.



Clothing: fit & condition
Check your clothes regularly. Make sure they fit you properly, and are in good condition. Don't leave seams which have pulled apart, replace lost buttons, sew up fallen hems. These things do show.

Make sure your clothes fit. Slightly too large is better than slightly too small. 'Just right' is ideal, but hard to get in ready to wear. Remember that noone sees the size label in your clothes - if they're a bit too large, you look smaller.

Your body shouldn't protrude from your clothes anywhere. Clothes shouldn't pull or gape. All are indications that it's too small. But don't buy tents either, if you can avoid it.

If you have the money and interest, get to know your local alterations place. Have them advise you how to buy clothes which will be cheaper to alter - the short form is 'too large rather than too small, and as correct as possible at the shoulders (shirts, dresses) or hips (pants, skirts)'.


Style: putting it all together.

There are some garments which are classics - things which always look great (on figures they're suited for) and which age well. There are classics for every type of personal style, from blue jeans and flannel shirts to Chanel dresses and business suits.

Construct most of our wardrobe from the classics suitable for your style and the things you do. And the rest can be whatever fun, personalised pieces you like.

When doing your clothing, pick something for people to focus on. A shirt, a belt, a necklace or brooch, a scarf, a fancy hairstyle, perfect shoes. Do everything else in classics. (Yes, you can do multiple focus items. But when you're starting out, just go for the one focus item.)
Similarly, when starting out, use one or two colours, and the rest in neutrals.

Makeup, as well, pick one focus - usually lips or eyes - and do the other lightly.


Coco Chanel used to say 'before you leave the house, take one thing off'. The most common error people make is to have too much for people to focus on, which leaves them looking 'bitty'. Look at yourself before you leave the house, and see where the eye is drawn. If there's either one good focal point, or a clear and obvious 'path', you're doing fine.

[RetailWorkhorse]

*Chuckles*

Seshat, you are AWESOME. :lol: Seriously.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Specifically, tips on how to put my hair up and have it stay there, and how make sure my makeup will last.

Elmer's glue and egg whites? (I've heard of that recipe for crazy spiky mohawks.)

Makeup is that colored powder and cream and stuff, right?

While I have been accused of being a "girly-girl" I must be the most low-maintenance girly-girl in the history of femininity. :p

[Kiwi]

there has already been plenty of advice but I shall throw in my 2 cents

go with pretty ballet flats (put a foam innersole in them) or very low block heels

go light on the make up and BLEND! Dont pick bold colours the first time, stick to tones that are close to your skin (no blue eyeshadow or bright red lipstick), you might want to take some blotting papers or powder and lip gloss with you so you can touch up when you use the powder room.

I would recommend lip gloss rather than lip stick, its much easier to apply!

go easy on your hair, if its scrapped back and up you are going to end up with a massive headache!
there are plenty of websites that can give you easy up do's if you must have one here is one

clicky! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ByYvpe0plg&feature=related)

give yourself PLENTY of time to get ready, I hate it when theres 10 minutes to go and I havent even started on my make up yet, but at the same time try not to be ready too early or you will fuss over yourself and keep adding and adding or start to second guess stuff!

if you are wearing a long dress dont bother with stockings or hose they are a major PITA!!! I would shave and moisterise them in the morning and then re moisterise before you go

eat a snack about 20 minutes before you go so that you can pace your drinking and eating

make sure your handbag has

a tissue or two
blotting paper/ powder
lip gloss
a couple of pain killers and a band aid if your shoes are new

I would practise the hair and make up you want at least twice before the night of, you want to be confident that you like the look and that you can replicate it especially if your new to the girlier side of life!

most of all HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!

[RootedPhoenix]

When you walk in heels, do it toe-heel. The toe of your heels needs to hit the floor first, like you're walking tip-toed through the mess of toys on your bedroom floor.


RW, you rock. *digs out heels* I shall wear them and not fall on my nose/twist my ankle/break myself. Awesome!

Everyone's had such great tips. I grew up being a non-girly-girl myself, so I'm keeping those tips in mind too.

The only thing I can say is that I use bareMinerals makeup. It's loose powder, which means it doesn't go on heavy, and it's hard to screw up, once you have the right shades. It isn't supposed to make you break out (I still have a bit of that, myself). They sell AWESOME applicator brushes too. They even have a starter kit that has several makeup items and several brushes.

Since I loathe feeling made up, but love feeling pretty, I love their stuff. It's pricey, but worth it. I appreciate the fact that it's harder to mess up.

[Becks]

I must be the most low-maintenance girly-girl in the history of femininity. :p

Nope, that's me.

*sigh*

My reasoning (okay, excuse)--I've met the men in my life during the times I wasn't all gussied up.

I have my share of {the family} timing.

[Seshat]

*Chuckles*

Seshat, you are AWESOME. :lol: Seriously.

Thank you.

It's an investment in time and effort to set your wardrobe up like that, but once you have, you can just yank stuff out at (almost) random and put it on, and know you look fantastic at all times.

It's a huge confidence boost and a great time-saver.

And if everything except a few of your 'focus' pieces* is stuff you can throw through the washing machine and don't have to iron, there's even more of a time-money saver!

* also, underwire bras. Grumble.